Screaming Fits

My 3 yr old daughter does the same thing and nothing phases her you can take everything away from her and put her in time out and she will continue so we are still working on a way to fix this problem.
If you find anything that works please let me know.

I know it is not fun to deal with public tentrums but I don't let it worry you. It can happen to anyone. We have a 2 1/2 year old that gets the same way sometimes. At home it is easier to deal with as we just put him in time out (sitting in any part of the house facing the wall and away from us and the toys). We tell him that he can come out and play whenever he is ready to be happy and smile. It seems to work for our son. I even put him in ime out at Walmart one time. He was sitting in the cart and decided to throw one of his tantrums. I turned the cart facing the socks isle, told him that he was in time out and until he stops screeming we wouldn't continue shopping. 2 minutes later it wasn't fun anymore looking at socks :0) The main thing, don't get discouraged. We all face different challanges and try to do our best raising our kids.

You're doing fine, this happens all the time with 2 year olds. You can try to plan and avoid tantrums, but sometimes they just happen. At least you learn for the next time. Nobody's kids are perfect. It's easy to feel superior when your kid is behaving right then, but believe me, they all have their issues! Nobody "allows" their child to have a tantrum, they just do it. Just keep doing what you're doing, be consistent. Make it clear to him that tonka truck stays home, maybe have him put it in the "garage" so it can rest while he's at school. Good luck!

First of all, don't worry about what other people think or say about how you raise your kids! Every one has different parenting styles and what may work for one person won't work for another. IMO that lady should have kept her mouth shut unles she is willing to take a walk in your shoes!! I agree with what others have posted-he is testing you, pushing the limits and your buttons. Trying to find his way in the world so to speak. My daughter never really went through the 'terrible 2s' but now at the age of 6 she has been testing the waters and finding out that the world doesn't always turn in her favor! When she acts up I just ignore her and keep on with what ever I was doing. She has told me I don't love her and that I'm mean but hey, she'll get over it. Just stick to your guns and don't worry about what others say when he has a meltdown. I got lucky once with my daughter but I've got about another 6 months to a year to see if I got lucky with my son!! Hang in there and know it will get better!!

S.

Honey, I feel your pain. Kids are extremely smart, and if he has seen in the past that throwing a tantrum will eventually get him his way, they will evolve the tantrum into full blown fits until they achieve their desired results. My son, who's now 7, tried that for a while after his father and I first split. I let it work for a while guessing he was going through the changes of the "new" family setting. Trust me if you don't stop it now, it will continue to get worst! Start by letting him know, (when he's behaving well) that good behavior will get him so much more than when he has his tantrums. Then when he has his tantrum, take him to his room and take his toys until he calms down. If out in public and he has a tantrum, stop everything and leave. Explain to him, that kind of behavior is not acceptable and he will not be rewarded for it. Even if you have to use words he may not fully understand, the tone of your voice and end result will clarify it for him. Once, you keep enforcing that for a while, he will have to find another way to get what he wants and hopefully it will be by being a good boy.
Not to mention that his little sister is watching and learning from him the ins and outs of getting around mom. Good luck!

K.,
This is a normal stage for you little man to be going through. He is testing his limits with you and the other people that might be around. I witness these tantrums everyday in the day care! And the worst thing you can do is give in to him. I know it is hard to listen to your baby cry it out, but at this age he has to know that when you say or do something, that is law. Tune out what others think and handle him the best you can.

In the case of the tonka truck:
He was trying to get you to let him have it at school, which I am sure that he knows he is not allowed to have there. He waited to get into the classroom so that he would have an audience for his "act." (and that is all it was, an act). My advice is that if this happens again, remove him from the presence of others, take him to a bathroom or an empty room) for a few minutes to calm down. You will get looks from other parents, but it is them that has the problem if they do not understand that he is going through this stage. He has to learn that he has to follow your rules even though he doesn't like them. Whatever you do don't give in to him. That is the best advice that I can give (and beleive me it does work even if it seems to take forever).
I wish you luck and patience on this one;).

Funny you send this message today. My son just turned 3 and we wereat a store today and all hell broke loss. He was screaming & crying. I am not sure why since I was at the check out with the pillow (which was for his Bday). He wasn't crying for any reason. I tried to talk to him, used the bathroom & leaving nothing worked. The lady in the store was just starring shaking her head. (mind you when I was laeaving the store with a double stroller and a FULL cart they couldn't even help me open the door. Just starred. I have 4 kids and this is my only child to act like this. They are all raised the same. So don't let anyone say they don't allow it (we have no choice). I have done everything. Hopefully he'll grow out of this. It's been going on a year.Good Luck

No advice as my son is only 8mths old, but I have to say, how dare the adacity of that woman to criticize your parenting without knowing you. I am sure every mother encounters this behavior at times as all children test their limits with their parents. The fact that your child has done this only 3 times is a testimate to how well you have shown him that this behavior is unacceptable.

Mom of an 8 year old and a 10 month old - both boys; and I can say I've been there, and plan to be back there in a little over a year! It's part of life, and I handled it with as much grace as I could... but my breaking point was when I was disciplining my oldest in the ladies bathroom (had had a tantrum at the table of a resturaunt) and I got dropped jaws and whispering from another mom and her friend... I just finally had enough and said "you raise your children, I'll raise my own". It comes to that - sometimes you just have to smile and walk away realizing their ignorance; but other times you want to just say "get real, like you're kids are perfect!"

Don't sweat it - and get used to the fits; they last a while - but how you react is how you teach him. You're doing great!

I have witness this happen to my sister when we go to the malls. Sometimes her son wants to ride some of those rides they have for little children. One day she let him ride and he want to ride some. She said no and he fall out in the mall and continue to scream. She did not seem phase at all the people were looking. Before I had my daughter I use to ask her do that make you uncomfortable seeing how people be looking at you. That was before and now I understand. Once in the mall my daughter started screaming (one of the i am dying screams) well I had lost tract of time and didnt realize it was her feeding time. Some people looked at me with hatred i swear. It did take me a good two minutes to figure out why she was crying and to make her bottle. But those were some long minutes. I know just brush it off and part of parenthood. Chances are that mother at your sons school have gone through it before too and just do not want to admite it

Hey K.,
Trust me I can relate. My oldest is four and we had a big speech problem until I overrode everyone's opinion(he will talk when he is ready, blah blah blah) and got him help with speech therapy. After we got that tackled we turned 3....whoever said the 2's were terrible, was on vacation for the three's. Beginning on his birthday he became very standoffish and demanding. It is thier owm way of trying to control something. Even today at 4 and a half we still have days just getting out of bed makes him not happy. SOme things you can try that I have found very effective is to get on his level and look him in the eye. Kids more often than not want to be heard and ask him, what the problem is... Why are you so mad. Once you have established that you can handle it from there. It sounds like this is a normal 2 year old fit, hopefully you won't have to have many more of them. Keep up with the time outs and don't worry it does get easier. Hope I have helped.
E. B

My son is only six months but I can relate to getting stares and comments. How dare that woman! You just keep doing what you're doing. Screaming children are, in fact, a part of life. Now if you have this problem when he gets much older, then I would address some issues. But right now, you're doing a great job. Don't worry about the outrageous comments of other people. I seriously doubt her children, if she has any, are perfect angels all the time. And screaming 3 times in public. People will just have to learn to get over it! I hate to hear a screaming baby as much as the next person, but who am I to judge the parent for a child doing what children do.
Here's what happened to me. Maybe you can relate. I took my son to Sam's when my mother came up for a visit. It was around his lunch time and he got hungry and fussy. (He acts like he's starving to death if I don't feed him on time) So I sat down on one of the display tables of outdoor furniture. It took me a few minutes to get his bottle ready and an older man looked at me and said, "I can't believe you would bring a screaming baby out in public." I've never been one to know when to keep my mouth shut so I said, "well sir, he's hungry and he has no other way of telling but to cry. And if you don't like it, you can leave. Don't let the door hit you in the butt on your way out." So he left and then I was so upset that I sat there, feeding my son, whimpering like an idiot. I refuse to made to feel that way any more. It's not our fault our children can't tell us what they want or need.
You keep doing what you're doing. You're doing a GREAT job, MOM!

OMG! My son is two and sometimes I wish that he came with a mute button. He is a great kid... funny...smart..you know all the great stuff us moms think about our kids. But, at this age tantrums come with the territory. Don't let anyone make you feel bad about yourself. We carry enough guilt without outside influences. Sometimes I feel as though I am flying blind and anyone else could do a better job, but the truth is most parents feel overwhelmed at times. So, do what I do... embrace this age. Before you know it they will be teenagers with the same attitude problems, but lacking all the cuteness. :)

First off, the rule is no toys going to school, period. He is still very young, and that is a rough age, when "no" just doesn't cut it. You were wrong not to put the truck away, but hey, mom's can;t remember everything at the end of a long day.
Sounds like he had a rough morning. The other mom was probably saying that she doesn't allow toys in the car. Wait 3 mo, things will change and he will go to some other habit. But, 21/2 yr olds are downright hard to handle, and they do keep growing and changing, hang in there.

Hi K.,

Sounds like you are having a dificult time. I do remember. I have 2 grown children and 2 grandchildren under 2. I am also an educator for young children and families for 20 yrs. I say all this to tell you I have seen a lot. I know it is not easy, you could be correct when you were talking about the communication issue earlier, when he did n't have the words to tell you what he wanted.
Talk to your son, tell him what is going to happen,before it happens, then be consistent always. Consistency is the key, the tantrums will get worse before they get better. They always have to make sure you are going to do the same thing each time. Always follow through with what you told him will happen,or not happen.
Absolutly, it is the toughest job raising a child, but also the most rewarding
It is important to talk to someone or vent I am available if you ever want to talk/email what ever.
Hang in there it will get better.
D.

Buy HOW TO BEHAVE SO THAT YOUR PRESCHOOLER WILL, TOO, By Sal Severe. Best book in the world. It takes some effort, and dad needs to read it, too. It has made all the difference in our lives. It will teach you WHY they act like this, tools you can use to diffuse the situation, etc. (Make sure you get the PRESCHOOLER edition. There's a KIDS edition, too.) I got mine at Barnes and Noble -- i think it was 14.95.
Initially, there was resisitance -- kids at first don't respond well to new behaviors. But then something will click and things will get better. Usually with a child that age, they just lack the verbal skills to tell you what's wrong, so they just blow up. Good luck -- M.

Alot of the other moms have pretty much said it all but my kids are now 10 and 6. They don't throw tantrums anymore but when my nieces or nephews do I sit on the floor with them and just stare at them. Weird yes but affective. After a while they begin to realize that they have your attention which is what they wanted to begin with and then they're off for another adventure. I usually tell them while they're screaming that their song is really pretty and can they sing it a little louder or if they can teach it to me. Reverse Psychology...children are the easiest subjects!!