Screaming at 28 Months

This may sound harsh but I went to a parenting class when my kids were toddlers and the teacher demonstarted a cartoon titled "Feed an Angel, starve a brat!" Meaning ignore the behavior even though that is really hard it does pay off.

Whenever it was possible, I would calmly tell my child that he/she could go ahead and scream in their crib or bed, but that the rest of us didn't want to hear it. I told them they could come out of their crib as soon as they were through screaming. Then of course, I would place them there and leave the room. As soon as they stopped, I would go back in ask if they were done, and bring them back out of the room. Of course, if the screaming resumed when I came in the room, I would say,'Oh, I guess you're not done yet!' and leave again. The screaming does NOT last long without an audience, and if you do this consistently the screaming episodes will quickly get fewer and further between. If he is strong willed like my youngest, it will take longer. But it will work eventually if you stick with it. Good luck!

You and me both sister!!! My 2 yr old is doing the same thing and I have to pray for patience every morning! it happens mainly during the morning routine, she refuses to change out of her pajamas and shouts consistently for things she wants instead of using her words. I have taken the "you have a choice" approach, she can choose her clothes and shoes in the morning, which seems to work half the time, during the difficult days I give her the "you can do ____ or you can stay in your room until..." I read Parenting with Love and Logic about 3 times and it has some great ideas on how to have control over your child while not taking their natural independence away. The biggest thing is to be consistent, don't give in or it will get worse...good luck and keep me posted maybe, you'll have some successes that I can use with my little sweet terror =)

All kids go through this. I've found the best thing to do is to just completely ignore the screaming. Kids are great at adapting to do what works for them. The worst thing you can do is to give in to the screaming & give him what he wants. A close second is to give him attention when he is screaming. Try just saying, 'You want that, don't you? It's hard not to get what we want - isn't it? I know...what a bummer'...and then ignore it. If he learns that screaming doesn't get him anywhere, he'll stop doing it.

Stick to your guns - don't give in. Ask other caregivers not to give in. This too shall pass! Good luck!

I would tell him that you can not understand when he screams that when he can talk to you then you will listen. Don't pay attention to him do something else. He will soon get it and grow out of this stage. Good luck

M.

I have found that mimicking the behavior works great. Not the screaming part, but when my daughter begins to pull a tantrum or crying, I start to pretend cry and stomp my feet and act silly. I do repeat what she says in a more quiet manner. She usually starts to laugh and I say to her that it is pretty silly to act like that. That ends it. Sometimes ignoring makes it worse as they will escalate the behavior in order to get your attention. At least that's my experience.

I highly recommend the book "How to Talk so Kids Will Listen and Listen so Kids will Talk." It pretty much saved my children's lives. ;) I was able to cut down on a lot of pointless yelling and conflicts and frustrations don't escalate like they did before I got the information from that book. It's in paperback, and you could probably find it at the library or cheap online. It's gold.
Consider that he's not being difficult on purpose or solely to make you crazy--he's feeling frustrated, too, and doesn't yet have many other ways to express that. Definitely keep him well-fed, well-rested and well-attended to so he doesn't come unglued from feeling hungry, tired or attention-starved. And hang in there. It's a daily project for everyone.

All kids go through this, I think boys more then anything until they are more verbal. Ignore him, walk away from him but NEVER give in to the screaming. It doesn't matter where you are, just ignore him. I have friends that are mortified if their kids act up in public however just ignore him. I just quit caring what anyone else thought around me as they are young, kids scream and pitch fits.
If he screams and you are at home, set him in a corner and tell him he can come out when he calms down. If he gets up, put him back, over and over. He is old enough for time out for 2 minutes. Just seperate him from the situation and removing him can help big time. It will take a while but if you stay firm and tough he will start realizing he won't get what he wants by screaming.
Calmly talk to him when he is calm and say "if you need help you need to ask nicely". "if you want something and I say no it is not okay to scream"...
It is a test, do not cave and just keep consistent. It is very normal, just as long as you never give in when he does it, it will pass! HUGS

Hey M.,

I have a 3.5 yr old son and he is the loudest and most needy child in my daycare. I have tried mimicing, timeouts, sending him into the other room to cry, ignoring him and even setting him outside in the playarea (weather permitting)when he screamed at me. The only thing I have found that works long term is ignoring the fit completely. The key is to ignore EVERYTHING until the tantrum stops. Do not try to reason or discipline while they are in the tantrum. But be sure to acknowledge even their littlest attempt to work things out without a fuss. I take a second during the fit to assess why the child is so upset and then offer an explain/solution to the problem. I do not give in, but I do offer some quiet one on one time after the fit is over and the child is calm. It is a long process, but if you look at it as helping a confused child learn verses disciplining a disobedient brat it changes the whole feel of the process.

I do some of my daycare license renewal classes through a company called CAREcourses and they have some amazing classes available to anyone. I would highly reccommend a class called Discipline in Childcare. It is really good and full of reasons why your child acts the way they do and methods to help them deal with life lessons. The prices are reasonable and even better if you buy one course and share it with your friends. My friends and I have done this and then discussed what worked for us and such.

Good Luck

I constantly need to tell my 28 month old to use his words. He got into the habit of screaming for things lately as well. He will scream and I will say "I can't understand you when you scream, you have to use words, and you have to use manners." Then I continue doing what I'm doing. Sometimes he calms down as soon as I say it, and sometimes I have to repeat myself A LOT, but I never give in to his screaming. I then follow up with lots of praise when he asks for what he wants with manners.

You can't reason with a 2-year-old. The best thing to do is put him somewhere safe (like his room) and leave him alone until he's done screaming. Also, do what you can to avoid the issue - watch for when he's tired or hungry and try to figure out his trigger points. Do what you can to head off the screaming without giving in.