AGGGHH! We are at this stage again. My two an a half year old has this awful high pitched scream that is driving me and my husband up the wall. Recently we went to the park and she started screaming there, I told her to stop, "We don't scream." I was talking to my sister about it and she says that when we are out side I should let her be as loud as she wants to be. I disagree, if we make a rule I want it to stick no matter where we are. Besides, she knows she isn't supposed to be screaming because when she does she always gives us this sidelong glance, like "Am I going to be in trouble for this?". So what do you think? Do you let your kids scream when they are out side?
Just a note she can yell. When she is excited going down a slide she will yell, WHEEE or if she sees a squirrel she will yell SQUIRREL, and chase it. I have no problems with that, it's the high pitched, break your ear drums, just shoot me scream that I get on to her about.
Shari, She screams because she can. Go to a park sometime, I think you will see children of all ages screaming their heads off, and all of them seem to talk just fine. She stopped screaming for a while, then we went to a class where there were several little girls that were screaming and chasing each other around. My daughter joined right in, and now she does it at home.
The bigger question is, Why would she be screaming if she has enough language to talk?" CHildren who have good verbal and non verbal skills do not resort to just random screaming...........
I had 2 types of screamers... my eldest daughter would scream just because she's a loud kid and likes to hear herself. That was treated with 'the house rules', which doesn't make me the bad guy, but explains to her that we really need to use our inside voices, even outside sometimes. PreK helped a LOT with this one.
My middle child would scream to pitch temper tantrums. Again, this got better at preK, but at home, OMG! Ear plugs please! Finally, it snapped my last nerve one day, and I screamed as loud as I freaking could. My daughter stopped screaming instantly in shock. I was like 'see?! That's how silly YOU look'... and she never did it again. I'm not saying that would work with every kid, but it worked with her!!
My 17 month old just learned to scream. Having zero patience left, I clap a hand over his mouth, then he licks me, I say 'EWWWW!', and he giggles. He hasn't done it much since, but I'm disappointed in myself for making it into a game ;) He's nowhere near as bad as the girls were though!
I don't allow my kids to scream out of control.
My boys aren't screamers but we do have moments where we will all just holler as loud as we can, together, like a game.
Now, I do babysit a screamer. Sometimes, usually, there is nothing wrong. He is just standing next to me or playing with a toy and he starts screaming for no reason. It concerns and confuses me! He is only 20 months old so I'm hoping he grows out of it!
Yikes! One of my friends had a screamer and she got so fed up w/it she just screamed right back at her kid. Obviously not very nurturing but it worked for her.
I'm with you, I don't allow the kids to scream. I always told them that screaming is for when you are in trouble or hurt or something like that. Yell all you want but if you scream, there better be something wrong. I used to punish them for screaming as well, not harsly, but nevertheless punished (they sat down with me at the park for a minute then make it longer if they continue). If she is looking at you after screaming, she is testing you to see if you will follow through. That is when you have to :) Good Luck.
Anything you NEVER want to allow, in your case, this particular high pitched scream, you have to discipline firmly every time she does it. If you're consistent at home, she'll know in public, but may still try it at 2 1/2 since she's old enough to "get" that you're powerless there, so you might have to discipline once or twice in public, but if you're consistent at home, she wont' push it past that. She's also old enough to discipline "slightly" after the offense if there is a bathroom or car near by. But back at home would be too long past the action for this age. It has to be firm and immediate or it won't deter future episodes.
It's much harder to discipline things as a "general rule" (but the scream is specific, so that will work). It's much easier to have the kids know they have to "do what you say". I have a lot of flexibility that way. Sometimes my kids can scream and climb and run and whatever, but whenever I say they can't (friend's houses, quiet time, car) they know they have to stop. That way, they have less "broad rules" to remember, and they just follow your cues wherever you are. They still learn self control, but they are sometimes allowed to go nuts unlike if something is always forbidden.
I know what you mean . . . that drives me crazy too. I don't remember my sons doing that (they did other stuff LOL) but I have neighbors whose kids do it. It's a certain pitch and volume that just grates.
I'm not sure whether you should allow it outside or not. Gee that wasn't much help was it?
I can't wait to see what the other moms suggest.
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I think it makes sense to let her be really loud at the park. There is no one set of behaviors that are appropriate in Every location. We act differently at the park than we do at a funeral than we do at a dinner party. It's all context, and she needs your help to figure these things out.
If she's screaming where it's not ok, and she's bothering others, sweetly and compassionately remove her. Show her some whispering games, or show her how to make a low rumbly voice. Those might be fun new sounds that can replace the high pitched ones sometimes.
