Sahms- Are You Ever Perceived as Lazy Moochers?

The only SAHM's I con sider moochers are ones who never had much of a job themselves yet constantly push their husbands for more and more. Ie: bigger house, new car etc. And meanwhile they have some nanny help and a cleaning woman.

Yeah, by my husband earlier this evening. He had the nerve to suggest that I "lounge around all day" while he's at work earning the money. Not only do I homeschool, take care of all the housework and the meals and shuffle the kids around to their activities but I work part time 3 days a week.

I just laughed in his face and asked him if he'd care to repeat that because I was feeling a little hard of hearing. He chose to apologize and do all the dishes instead. Good choice!

Since moving to Orlando I haven't worked and personal I feel that way! It's the first time since being with my husband i don't have a job and it sucks! I get all my housework done and then I'm bored! I know that will change once little girl comes in Feb but as of now yes I do feel like I'm mooching off him and can't wait to get back to work again...sorry but the SAHM lifestyle just isn't for me...

Oh, you're gonna be sorry you asked this.

Back some (cough cough) years ago (okay, fine, it was the '60s) when I was in college... that was the time when the teaching was changing. Men were all chauvinist pigs, marriage was nothing but being put in shackles, and babies were definitely undesirable. Not only were careers opening up to women; careers were also mandatory for a woman's self-worth. Marriage was optional; divorce was wide open; childbearing was frowned upon; a woman's significance was measured by whether, like the men, she got a paycheck.

As more and more marriages dissolved, the paycheck became more important from a practical standpoint as well. Today, mamas who are not married have both the bulk of the child-rearing work and the bulk of the financial responsibility. But we were told back then to be superwomen. ("I can bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan"... anybody remember that?)

I haven't had a paycheck (or much of one) since we started our family almost forty years ago, and I have been the butt of many derogatory comments, from the fact that I was a financial non-producer to the fact that I was (gasp!) a producer of babies, which seemed to relegate me to the land of hopeless idiots.

Do I sound a little hot under the collar? I'm not venting, but I do get a little, um, steamed.

Actually, that's why I'm on this site. I want to encourage mamas, especially SAHMs, to realize that their work is valuable, that they are valuable, and that their marriages and children are valuable. It's swimming upstream, I know, but I'd like as FEW women as possible to believe any garbage that society may want to tell them.

Okay. End of lecture. I'm stepping off the soapbox. You may all breathe again. You may even make faces at me if you want to. I don't like to cause controversy, but that's my answer to this question.

Full disclosure - I work about 60 hours/week and I'm the primary breadwinner for our family (DH works but makes about 1/3 of what I do). As such, I do have quite a bit of help (housekeeper once/week, after-school daycare for the kids, DH and I split the cooking duties). I think I would lose my mind completely if I had had to stay home all day with babies/toddlers/preschoolers while keeping the house up and cooking. I adore school-aged children, but diaper-aged babies drive me up a wall. They scream, ooze out of every orifice... ugh. And then there's cooking. I guess if I were forced at gunpoint, I could put together a pretty good meal every day, but I hate cooking. I really do. Anyway, I admire what SAHMs do! The fact that you've made it this far and are still in possession of all of your mental faculties is a feat! And that you're able to enjoy what you do - well, that's what we all really want in life, isn't it? Everyone should enjoy their life's work, no matter what that involves. You serve a useful purpose in your family and in your community. Therefore, you are not a lazy moocher!

All that being said, I do have a friend who has 4 children, a nanny, a housekeeper who comes in daily, a dog-walker, and she orders out for most of their meals. She doesn't work (never has, even before kids). THAT is being a lazy moocher, in my opinion. I honestly have no idea what she does all day. Her husband seems fine with it - I guess if it works for them, who am I to judge, but doesn't it seem like her life would be mighty boring??

Oh sure. That's a REALLY common view in this area, especially by *nonparents* who haven't had to go "1600 a month for childcare as a LOW estimate???" (infant/toddler care runs apx 1600-2500 a month in our area).

I'm not even a "pure" stat at home mom currently. I'm a homeschooling, college student, SAHM. And I get called (or insinuated to be) lazy.

<grin> You betta believe I set them straight REAL quick.

__________

The hand that rocks the cradle, is the hand that rules the world.

Only from jealous women.

Hi A.,
I've never gotten that feeling from anyone I personally know. Maybe it's the people I surround myself with (all SAHM's) as well.
I worked full time supporting my husband while he went to finish his degree so that when he was done we could start having children and I could stay home with them. My husband wants nothing more than to support his family (working really hard to do so) so that I can stay home and raise our children, keep the house, and prepare meals, along with transporting children from here to there each and every day!
I do however give extra credit to working momma's. I don't know how they do it! It never ceases to amaze me how together they seem to have it when they've had to go to work 8 hours a day 5 days a week and still have to do all the same stuff that I do, and do it well! Gosh, I'm tired just thinking about it :)
Both jobs are very different and very draining but both in different ways. I think no one is any better off then the other because they are both very hard!

When my older kids were born, my husband quit a morning job to stay home because I had insurance. He went to work as soon as i got home. He would get comments about why he was not working and I stay home. Once he was asked if I didn't love my kids.
Years later, I was laid off and he was just starting a position. I was lazy for quitting my job. Now, he is once again unemployed and staying home with our youngest and will with the baby when he arrives until he can find a job. The comments we sometimes hear is that it is great he can stay home-switching up the roles- all the way up to why am I working when I should be taking care of the kids. I know what is working for us and that is what counts.

Just wanted to say kudos...I work 40-45hrs a week but my BFF is a SAHM. She is amazing and I bet you are too...lazy would never cross my mind in thinking of SAHM's.

I've never had people say that. I have had lots of people insinuate that I'm too stupid to homeschool my kids, though. But I've been a stay at home mom since before I even had kids and no one has ever said anything negative to me about it. But I save our family a lot of money by being at home. I'm sorry people are saying that to you. I think they are jealous.

Actually, I think you'd need to go back more like 40 years. In the 80's, lots of women worked. While I was a working mom, I didn't think the SAHM's I knew were lazy. They didn't get a break all day. At least I got a lunch break and could run out for a haircut or make phone calls or read a magazine, except during the first year with an infant when I spent that time pumping. I could take a "sick" day and send my little ones to daycare while I had an occasional relaxation day or lunch with my sister; not many of my SAHM friends had that opportunity. Lazy? Really? What on earth do people think you do all day? Mooching? Your financial arrangements with your husband are no one's business but yours and his.

My husband's friends have continually asked me "when are you going back to work" and it's with a tone and a series of comments that implies I am just lazy to go back to work!! I have a special needs child and for those who has one, you know having one is like having ten kids to care for along with being the maid, cook, husband caretaker...I just think we live in a very unkind and ignorant world sorry to say !

.

Ever since my son turned 3 friends and family have been asking if I am back at work yet, and why not?
I have also noticed that if go to the Dr., get a haircut, oil change, etc during the day I always get the "So, No work today?" If I just say no, and brush it off they keep saying it repeatedly until I "justify" the fact that I am able to be there in the middle of the day. It really ticks me off. Why can't they just be grateful for the business during slow time and not insult me?!
In addition to being a SAHM, I am also a student which seems to just barely justify my existence.

You know that terrible attitude is (sadly) unique to this country. My husband's childhood friend got a professor job in Germany. His wife, who is an ER Doctor, and he, relocated there for several years. They had 3 small children. They were able to afford for her not to work so she stayed home. Over there, it was a pleasure for her. She found a large circle of other well educated women, who also chose to stay home and care for their children and people didn't make awful comments like "You're wasting your education" etc.
So many people think it's all about how much money they can make, and live on two incomes because they think they have to. For those who really have to, I understand. For those who are single parents I understand. For those who are just real materialistic, well I hope you're happy. Kids would rather have their parents around.
I work part time from home while the kids are in school and my infant is napping. Thank god he's a good sleeper! LOL!
I do not think anything less of any mom for staying home! It's AWESOME!

Well, I would never think that about any SAHM, but some people seem to think this about my husband because he is the stay-at-home parent instead of me. So while it's okay for a woman to stay home with her kids while her husband is the bread-winner, men are still thought of as lazy moochers if they are not working while the mom is. And really, who is anyone to judge? Shouldn't each family be able to decide what works best for them and not have it be anyone elses business?

I think the people that take advantage of welfare ruined it for the rest of us.

I dont know about yall, Im a SAHM and i miss working. But i can manage because financially we can work through it.....and i believe this is better for my children and my household.

I have never been called lazy or a moocher. People closest to me see how much I bust my arse around our home, the kids' school, our community and church.

I love being a SAHM. I am very secure knowing I am doing the most important job in the world...raising my own children and making our home run efficiently and supporting my husband so he can bust his arse at work.

The other night we were laying in bed talking about our day. He was holding my hand and gently stroking my arm.(I love it when he does that) He told me, "Thank you sooo much for taking such good care of our kids, home and me. I could not provide as well as I do if it weren't for you. We are a great team." Dang, I love that man!!!

I am not a moocher. We have equal roles in our marriage but different jobs. Our roles compliment and support each other but never compete with each other. My husband does not look to me to bring in money...we know it is his responsibility to do everything he can to financially provide. And in turn, we know it is my responsibility to nurture and take care of home and family. We embrace these roles. I have a B.S. degree and loved working before kids. But our family is our priority....not an extra $60,000.

The other day as I was volunteering in my son's classroom a sweet little girl asked me what my "job" is. I questioned her to understand what she meant. She meant what job I have that I go to everyday. I said I don't have a "job", I take care of my kids and our home and get to work in the classrooms. She sweetly said, "You need a job!!" I thought how sad it is that these kids are growing up thinking that value is placed upon a job that pays. I don't need a job or want a job...I am busy enough as it is. Heck...I don't have time for a job!

As long as you feel comfortable in your SAHM status then whatever other people think won't matter to you. As long as you have a supportive husband then that is all the cheerleading you need behind you.

Good luck and best wishes at having the best SAHM life ever!!

I've battled this with perceived attitudes from others and internally. I've worked nearly full time since I was 16 and through college. The idea of not working and staying home to raise our children was hard for me at first. It was a choice we BOTH chose and support, but it was hard for me to not be more "productive" during the day. I felt guilty when I napped when baby napped, when I didn't get the whole house clean, when I didn't get the house picked up. MY expectations were too high.

I've learned that if the kids have had regular butt changes, fed on a regular schedule, put down for naps when they've needed them, held when they've needed it, loved on, played with, and entertained when they need it, I HAVE DONE MY JOB! Getting the groceries, making the meals, washing the laundry, doing the house chores, mowing the yard, and paying the bills is a bonus when I can fit it in.

I am at the computer a few times a day. Those are my union breaks. And let me tell you, I have a spring in my butt. I don't just sit here. I'm up constantly. :)

I think the expectation is for us to have this idolized version of the 1950's housewife. Well guess what? It's 61 years later. A LOT has changed. WE HAVE MORE TO DO! For those who think that SAHM's are lazy, they need to walk in our shoes. My husband has and he admits he would rather go to work, and he is an AWESOME dad.

Don't beat yourself up. You know you are doing your job well and that it is a WORTHWHILE job, maybe the most worthwhile job there is. :)

Talk about stereotypes, check out my first post on this site. This job is very under appreciated. Can't help but laugh.......

Since you are in college you technically are not a full-time stay at home mom, so you don't fit their criticism.

However, I think over time my EH resented my being home and I knew something was up because whenever I had encounters with his family members they would ALWAYS ask when are you going back to work, or say something like the baby is x months, that means you should be returning to work soon. LOL, I would simply say, nope, we have a plan for returning to work and enrolling our child in school. It wasn't enough to shut them down because they never stopped asking until one day I asked my EH if he was complaining about my being home. He brushed it off, but I knew better.

Guess what?! We are separated, pending divorce and according to our plans for work and child care, I managed ON MY OWN to enroll our child in school around the time we had planned, and have just found myself a job. I start in a few weeks! So, I've been an unemployed, SAHM exhausting my financial resources to keep things afloat while receiving inconsistent child support that I couldn't depend on. Not bad for a SAHM!!!!

I was a SAHM and WAHM. Before I chose to do this I worked in a career where I was in charge of a staff and had several secretaries. I have higher level degrees and I never had anyone call me a moocher. When I left my job, I did have a few women who were literally upset as if I did something to them. One woman literally screamed at a friend of mine and said, "when I had a baby, I had to go back to work!" She was refering to me of course. Everyone knew that I would eventually move up and made lots of comments. I knew what I was doing and I'm glad that I did. I was a SAHM for 2 years and then I began working part-time outside of the home. Then later I begin teaching online part-time from home. While taking care of all of the duties at home. I didn't care about what those people were saying. Most of them were jealous women and it just didn't matter what they were saying about me. You have to know why your doing it and for me, it was best for my family. Now I work full-time and my child is going on six. Sometimes I would like to be around because jobs aren't so understanding when you need to take off for appts, etc. I don't regret what I chose, as a matter of fact I met more meaningful women who had situations just as mine. Life works out for the best if you live according to what you and your husband believe in.

I really never heard any criticism when my kids were little - but then we were in a wonderful school and there were lots of SAHM's. I "feel" some now that my kids are older and people think there's no reason for me to be home. At another school, I got more comments (behind my back, of course) of women putting me down for not have a big college degree and a career. At first that hurt a lot but then I realized these were coming from women that put their careers first; stuck their kids in day-care and even when they could spend time with their kids, they chose not to. Then I looked at their kids and they were always the ones that were out of control and running wild! My kids were always well-behaved are now honor students and I am very proud of them. I feel staying at home with them and being a "traditional" SAHM has really helped and I wouldn't have had it any other way. I think women that say stupid things like that are just jealous!! Good luck with your schooling and being a SAHM!!!

I would only think less of a SAHP (because dads do it, too), if the parent didn't do anything. If the kids weren't fed, or the house somewhat clean or whatever. Sadly, I do know some parents who can't get their kids to school on time and they don't work (in or out of the home). Whose kids wear ill-fitting clothes while Mom gets a manicure. Whose kids go to daycare so Mom can do something frivolous or families who have a nanny so Mom can do whatever (and it's not like she's running a business or organization). Etc. That's the only kind of parent I'd consider a mooch and lazy. If you have kids and you are home for those kids, you should try to be HOME for the kids!

SAHP have a job, too. Some people are just bad at it.

People who know me well know how unwise it is to make comments like this. People who don't know me well soon learn how unwise it is to make comments like this.

I only had one person ever even joke to me about it. I (in a loud and not happy voice) reminded them that I worked two jobs to put my husband through a Sports Medicine degree program, then worked another four years in a job that I despised to put him through Chiropractic college....oh yes and then there was the three years that I worked full time, and was just about to take on another job, even with my daughter being less than a year old to support my husbands business that was failing, when he got this job...Now what were you saying?

Not that I'm aware of. But the majority of my friends are all SAHMs too. I do know that some family members feel that a college-educated woman who stays home is "wasting her degree," not that any of them dare say it to my face. I remember them saying it about my aunt. Anyone who thinks a SAHM is lazy has obviously never been a SAHM. Anyone who thinks it's a waste of education is ignorant. And even when all the children are in school, being a full-time SAHM is just as important. First, you are available to volunteer at the school. I can't tell you how many problems can be avoided or at least promptly dealt with simply by being present and knowing the teachers and other staff. Second, you can attend all of the school events that occur during normal working hours without having to worry if you can get the time off work. Third, you will be home when the kids get home from school, instead of 2+ hours later, which I believe becomes more vital as kids get older (more supervision, more time learning directly from you, more time to instill your values, more time to talk with you and tell you what's going on in their life). Hard work and success are not defined by how much money you make, and as people grow older and mature (two distinctly separate phenomenon that do not always occur together) they tend to realize this. "No other success can compensate for failure in the home." - David O. McKay I think some people take feminism to the extreme. It's very important that women be able to work outside the home, in any job they choose, and receive equal pay. There are many situations which require women to work outside the home, and it could befall any one of us at any time. There are also women who choose to work outside the home, and they should be able to. However, just because we have the right to do something doesn't mean it's the correct choice for everyone. Sadly, a lot of people have lost sight of this. I hope you take the opportunity to enlighten and educate these people you encounter, one at a time. (I delight in the irony that they believe they are the ones who are enlightened and educated, yet they are so close-minded!)

I hear it all the time and I sometimes have my "Peggy Bundy" days.

OMGosh. I am so sorry that you feel you are perceived this way! I really don't understand the "mooching off your husband" bit. I mean you're married. That eliminates mooching!

I am in the other boat and felt I had to explain myself because I have to work. I got so sick of my DH's male cousin's saying "Are you going back to work!?" It was not an option.

So chin up. You may be at home but you are working! And to all those who impose those rude thoughts of "mooching" tell them your husband is mooching off you :-)

There are misconceptions on both sides of this issue, I think.

SAHM: lazy, unstructured, not contributing financially

Working moms: absentee parents, career driven vs family oriented

I think both of these ideas are extreme and although they may be true of some moms, they are not true for most.

I will admit, though, that I don't understand the point of staying home once the kids are in school. I'm pretty sure I'd go nuts.

Where I take issue is w/moms I know who stay home and -

1. Don't think they should have to manage things - pass off all home duties on dad when he walks in the door

2. Have champagne taste when the family is clearly on a beer budget - insists on spending $ they don't have, or have hubby work multiple jobs to keep up with their entitlement spending

We have someone in our family like this. She IS a lazy moocher with a princess attitude and I think it's awful. I do not, however, think that she is a typical SAHM and I don't think that about them generally.

Well, there are lazy women who happen to be SAHMs. There are lazy women who work. Unfortunately, they give everyone a bad name.

I used to have a SAHM friend that didn't want to parent her kids or have them around & thought her husband (who worked very hard) should've shouldered a good amount of the housework, and she had no problem running up their credit cards until she maxed them out. She has always had her bills paid & never had to be responsible. She is very superficial. So, yes, I considered her lazy & a moocher.

I feebly attempted being a SAHM after working my whole life & I never could accept being fully dependent on another adult for everything financial. It never felt quite rite. I felt guilty every time I spent money on something that wasn't a necessity. I am working part time now & am happy. I'm actually seeking full time work because I enjoy working & contributing to the family finances. I am not really good at the traditional SAHM role.

Lazy moocher? No. I've never felt that people perceive me that way. I know there are some women who believe that by working you are setting a good example for your kids, as an independent, strong person. I see their point, but I know my limits and if I had to work and take care of young children, I wouldn't be the best mother or employee. Thankfully, my husband's job allows me to have a choice. I also worked until I had my first child at 36. I had more than proven myself in the career world and I also had a lot of $ saved, which helped my husband and I buy a home. I know some SAHMs that feel like they don't contribute enough b/c they aren't bringing home a paycheck. I don't feel that way. I am a very involved parent and work hard to make a happy, healthy home for our family. I don't think there is anything more important.

No, but sometimes I think that about myself! I am not a great housekeeper. On the other hand, when I was younger I worked so hard. So I guess it is ok to slack off a little.

I hear this all the time, that we must all be overly dependent, uneducated, lazy moochers who just don't want to work and pull our fair share. Forget the fact that we spend all our time raising our children and really enjoying them, which I would not trade for all the $$$ in the world. People are often surprised to learn that I have my education and that I choose to leave my career for my children because that is what I felt was best for my family. I don't judge working moms, and will never understand why many feel the need to judge us stay at homes, but sometimes I suspect it is jealousy.

As for the thought that it is somehow wrong to be a stay at home when your kids are school aged, I say that is not true. My kids are both in school this year for the first time. I spend much of my time volunteering at their school and in their class rooms. I also use some of those hours to do my house duties since older kids means sports and activities almost every day after school, times 2 or more if you have more than one child.

I have never gotten this from anybody--maybe because my kids are still little and at home? I could see people insinuating this more if you're a housewife with kids who are at school all day (which I plan on doing still...I like to say that I "retired" when my son was born. I have no intention of ever going back to work). We don't have a lot of money at all, and we don't have nice things. But we're happy, the laundry gets done, the bills get paid, my kids and husband eat 3 home-cooked meals a day and we have very little unnecessary stress. It's a simple way of life, and I love it and have never gotten negative feedback about staying home. In fact, my working mom friends seem to get a lot more flack for going back to work and not staying home.

I was a stay at home mom for 18 years and no one felt that way. Perhaps it was the type of moms I hung around with both working or stay at home but we never felt either was lazy or neglectful of the kids.

I think a lot of this comes from this psudo feminism we are seeing more an more of. Although no one ever called me lazy I got a good dose of I am selling out women by staying at home.

I am not speaking of a long time ago. Just four years ago I was a stay at home mom.

Yes, when I quit my P/T job a girl at work told me she could never be a SAHM, b/c she feels she would be mooching off her husband.

As a SAHM, I was never criticized, possibly due to fact my daughter had special needs.

However, when we moved from TX to MO, before we our daughter, I was in college (back in '89, it was still correspondence, but it was a legit univ: OCU) and no one @ my husband's job knew that. This one lady kept saying stuff like "...you know, you could take in ironing..." and just ridiculous stuff. She did straighten up when she heard I'd finished my degree. Duh. [it was really funny to see her jaw drop]

I would do anything to be a SAHM mom again! I'm pretty traditional too....

edited to add: when I was finally pregnant, my uncle called & almost threatened me to be a SAHM! LOL! preaching to the choir...

Anyone who thinks a sahm is lazy is an Idiot! Just because you arent working outside of the home doesnt mean your not working!
My mom was a sahm and I used to think she was so lucky that she didnt have a "job" ....Now that I am a mom I realize the error of my thinking. Just because she wasnt getting paid doesnt mean she wasnt working

I never get that thank God. There is something wrong with this world, thats why you get that sometimes.

While I don't have a problem with someone having a difference of opinion, I think I would probably deck anyone that said that to me. I have never worked harder at any job than I have as a SAHM and a 9-to-5 job just does not compare to the work I do.

I am SO sorry that people are discrediting what you do, just try to focus on the idea that you are doing what is right for you and yours, and that is all that matters.

Hmmm, I wonder if anyone has ever thought that of me, but I have never had anyone make such a comment to my face. Most people who know me know that I work my butt off taking care of my kids, house, and hubby who is WELL taken care of in all areas.

If anyone dared to say such a thing to me, I'd put them in their place, explaining that I have put my career plans on hold while I raise my kids, and once they are all in full day school I will rejoin the work force (as long as doing so doesn't bump us into the next tax bracket, which would end up making it counterproductive for me to earn an income.) I'd invite them to come spend a week at my house and see how well they do running my home and caring for and loving on my kids, with the bare minimum of help from my husband who is never home.

A. W. I'm sorry you're hearing this. it's just stereoptyping and prejudice. I've met many SAHM's who volunteer their buts off and keep very busy, SAHM's who homeschool multiple children or who cheerfully run households with four small children, but I've also met a few SAHM's with two children and no extra committments who complain about how hard their life is, which sadly gives SAHM's a bad name. And if it makes you feel any better, working moms get just as much criticism so know you'll be criticized any way you go!

No one ever says that to me because I run a daycare in my home. BUT, I truly hate it when people insinuate that what I do is easy or doesn't count as a real job. I can't stand it when people say that I don't understand what the "real world" is like.

In MY world, I deal with people, set up my appointments to interview clients, decide what capital improvements to make, wear many different hats, have carved out a niche for myself in being open 24 hours per day, decide when to advertise or where to advertise and keep magnet signs on my van, buy pens to hand out and business cards, file our business and personal taxes, meet and or exceed local regulations, juggle preschool and homeschooling, AND do it all on top of every single personal family responsibility like, licensing cars, getting people to the doctor, helping my aging mother and mange how much to give her to do in order to keep her busy, needed and healthy all the while respecting that she's my mom and semi-not really retired, AND all the while providing free daycare for my grandson.

And yet, 25 years means nothing and if I looked for a job today, I would be seen as largely unemployable.

My husband would never say that! :) He loves me being home to take care of the kids...and him! Since I spent so many years working, he knows the difference and for now, this works for us. Of course, not everyone can make the choice to stay home...and some just don't have the desire to do so (not all of the women who stayed home 30 yrs ago actually wanted to). A lot of the comments I've heard come from those who either don't have kids or are jealous of your situation. I can remember looking at women who got to stay home and wishing I was able to. Comparing ourselves to the women 30 yrs ago is definitely not a good idea - we live completely different lives.

I've never had anyone say I was lazy, but I hear I'm "lucky" all the time. I think it's an odd word choice. There wasn't so much "luck" involved as determination and sacrifice and a willingness to live a lifestyle most of my friends and family wouldn't tolerate. I've had many different types of jobs, and I can tell you being a SAHM is without question the toughest. There is definitely a perception that it is not as important as working. I've been asked many times to help out friends and family with childcare because somebody "had to work" and I'd think, "What do they think I'm doing?" They have 11 paid holidays and three weeks vacation! Do they really "have to work" or are they just poor planners? Sometimes it's the former but sometimes it's the latter, believe me. I've also heard many people refer to it as a luxury to be able to stay home. Trust me, there is nothing luxurious about my life. We've made huge sacrifices financially. IMO, there are two reasons SAHMs are perceived as "less than". The first is there are so few of us doing it these days that it's sort of not relatable anymore and the second is that we are so busy we don't have enough time to defend these ridiculous misconceptions!

Actually not, I have never perceived that from others. I am a very busy SAHM. I home school my 2 kids, we go to several activities during the week, sports and field trips. We exercise as a family 3 times a week and I run on the track every single day. I cook, clean, take care of my garden (even doing the lawn), do laundry, get groceries, do errands, educate the kids, help my husband in different things, I take care of 2 houses we have rented in different states, and many of my friends are SAHMs. I also have friends who work out of the house, and I really admire because they do a lot as well. If you are working hard as any of us H.,stay home moms, so ignore any look or comment from others who actually don't know anything about your life.
Have a wonderful day!