SAHM Guilt - Milwaukee,WI

Most men couldn't handle a lot of child family time... being with their children when their Wife/Mother of their children is not there too is a big deal and usually one they want small doses of.

Don't feel guilty!!

Guilt is the "default setting" of motherhood! There's not a decent mother alive who isn't wallowing in guilt over something!

It definitely is nice to stay home with the kids. If you plan on 4 then you have some time to think on what you would do while they are in school. Once in school you definitely have more scheduled time without kids, but you still may be running them around. personally I would want to work some once they are in school just to have something for me. But others find that in PTA or other volunteer.
One added benefit of SAHM with someone who doesn't work predictable shifts is knowing you don't have to do daycare. Daycare with unpredictable or long shifts could be extremely difficult.

Oh yeah my hubby has said the same bc he has said 'what would you do all day with the kids in school?' I told him I would actually 'clean' the house. What passes for clean around here is definitely not the level I would like, it is just what passes for now. I would paint, have a little time for myself, shop without kids in tow, take better care of myself, exercise more, just all the stuff I shove to the side to look after the babies would actually get done. I think it would be so amazing!! So after I went through this really long list off the top of my head he was like 'oh, ok'. Plus 'all day' is not all day. You take them to school, wait in line, drop them off and get home by like 8 or so. Before all that you get up, get them ready and feed them, so it's not like you are going to focus on yourself a lot at that time. Then you leave like an hour b4 school lets out to get there and get a decent spot to pick them up. so you would only have like from 9-1:30 to actually work somewhere anyway and if you did that you would imediately get your kids, go home and nothing would be done at home bc you would not have been there. You would be in the throws of snacks, homework and playing time and what about the stinkin' laundry??? So this is what I told my hubby and it made sense to him, sometimes they just don't get literally how much there is to do at home, they just see us handle it and I guess we make it look easy ;) Of course now that we decided to homeschool, me working dropped off the table completely. Plus men are so practical, they see a few free hours in your life and start thinking of how a little more money could make everything easier, it's not about them thinking we aren't busy, it is just that they always want to find ways to put the family in a better position financially, at least that is how my man is. So don't worry, don't feel guilty and just talk it out. There is nothing wrong with picking up something if you want or you guys agree on it, but he needs to see that it would definitely be a sacrifice for you and a really heavy load. Good luck!

ALL FF have two jobs otherwise they would be KILLED by their families! My dad was a FF for 31 years. He delivered appliances with other FF's.

I've been home for 4.5 years and REALLY want to work but my husband points out we don't have anyone to watch our child that's reliable enough. Grrrr.

He says when he goes to work he doesn't have to think or worry about if he's going to get a call and hear "come pick him up-he's sick."

I once saw a story years ago about working mom's on 20/20. They figured out the family was LOOOOOSING a ton of money by her working when the kids were still little and needed daycare. I CRIED for that family because they were BARELY surviving as it was. She stopped working and they actually HAD more money. These things have to be thought out very carefully.

I've ALWAYS worked but was downsized two months before I delivered and I live in a VERY high unemployment area so I have a feeling I'm going to have a hard time finding a job when I do get the chance to get a job.

I know being a SAHM to be my true calling. We are going to home school, that way there is no question about if I am doing enough at home or not. ;-) But I get the guilt.

Prior to this decision, my husband alluded to me working PT too when the kids were older. I would think a PT job would be a fun distraction when the kids are in school. House work doesn't take 40 hours a week (unless of course you are making elaborate dinners every night). If you don't want to go back to work, that's a different story.

My hubby is supper supportive of me being a SAHM, at the same time, he has days when I can tell the stress of being the single bread winner is tiring. I do tons around the house. Most of the yard work, all the painting, and all of the traditional 'women's work," etc.. I also do all of our financial planning, etc. It makes a big difference, I think, in that it does free him up to just worry about work.

Is there any of his around the house jobs you could take on to help out more?

I have thought of your question all day and want to respond before I hit the hay and move on tomorrow.

I have never, ever felt guilty for being the primary nurturer of my children and home. There is something a full time mom offers to home and family that can not be replicated by anyone else. I don't feel guilty that I get to enjoy childbirth or nursing and my husband can't. I don't feel guilty that he goes and works hard outside of our home and I work my arse off inside and outside of our home with family related activities. Are there moments I wish he were here to share things...yes...and I tell him all about it when he gets home. But, he never makes me feel like I have an easier life. He truly values what I do and lets me know he could not provide as well as he does if it weren't for me keeping our home and kids on schedule. He has co workers who wish their wives would stay home with the kids...but the wives have chosen careers.

My husband has never alluded to me working outside of the home when time opens up because of kids going to school. That time has just now opened up because our youngest started kindergarten. I am busier now more than ever before. I love the time the kids are in school because I am so much more efficient getting the "to do" list done. Then when they are home I am fully engaged and available to them for help with homework, shuffling to extra curricular activities or simply an ear to listen to their joys or woes of the day. A healthy and warm dinner is ready for us all to sit down together when hubby gets home and we pray, eat and laugh together. Then dad is all hands on deck and fully available to kids,home and me.

I would suggest reading Dr. Laura Schlessinger's book titled, "In Praise of Stay At Home Moms" SHe outlines the importance of SAHMs, and the value they are in the home and society. It is a great read.

I applaud your efforts...and your devotion to your family. You have caught the vision of the important role a mother and wife plays in the home. I too look at this time in my life as the best time...I have embraced being full time wife,mother and homemaker. It brings such peace, joy, pride and purpose to my life. It stretches me in ways I have never been tested before. I do not look at my unused Bachelor's degree as a waste. An education is never a waste. You educate a man...you merely educate a man. You educate a woman and you educate a family.

Good luck and best wishes at releasing the guilt and embracing your important role as mother and wife.

You should not feel guilty for being an at home mom - especially since you love it!

I have 3 school-agers (8th, 5th & 3rd) grade and I'm busier now during the day than I was when they were at home. The reason? I volunteer in their schools! For the 3rd & 5th graders, I'm in their art classes and LRC (4 times a month). I'm on the Jr. High Home & School Assn. board and on the Home & School Assn council. I attend meetings each month for both of those in addition to going to the Elementary HSO meetings and volunteering with their activities. I also am a room party chair for my 3rd & 5th graders. In fact, I have to send out emails to the other mom volunteers about the Halloween parties. Some days, I'm at their schools every day. I also like to pop in at lunch time every once in awhile. It's a nice surprise for them.

Add in cleaning, cooking and errand person - the days can fly by!

Granted, I do work part-time from home for a local manufacturer. I do quality control for them as well as assemble keychains and magnets. I put UPC labels on things too. That can be up to 5 hrs per day. But, I can do this after the kids are in bed, I'm in my pjs and drinking a glass of wine.

I always thought I'd go back to work full time when the kids were in school, but when I was offered a full-time job out of the blue a few years ago, it was my husband that objected! He said a lot of things, but this really stood out,, "But if you take that job, who will make my dinner?" I was so surprised, you could have knocked me over with a feather. It's not that my husband is a macho jerk or anything - he just hates change. He loves things the way they are now, but he wasn't always like that. For years he wanted me to get a job.

Instead, I took the part time job because I wanted to do "something." But it was my choice and not a money choice. Now, sometimes I'm so busy, I don't know where to start, but I like that too.

Sorry this is so long. My point is don't worry about the future, it's not here yet! Your husband might change his mind as you become more involved in your kids' schools and that can only happen when they are older.

Well, it seems like it will be quite awhile before your kids are in school....so who knows how you will feel at that point? I would take it one step at a time and once your children are in school, you and hubby can re-assess how busy you are feeling, if you feel you have extra time and would like to work part-time out of the house, if you feel bored, etc. This seems so far away, I don't think I would put much thought into it yet if there is no current pressing need to work even part time.

I am a newly stay at home mom to my 17 month old son. I was recently laid off and decided to be a SAHM initially just until I can get re-hired. Now, I'm hooked (love this job!) and hubby and I are discussing if this can be a longer plan for us. It's really hard for us to make do on one salary but I can no longer imagine sending my son off to daycare every day (I can cry just thinking about it!) I have not felt any guilt over being a SAHM - Yes, I get to spend a lot of time (okay, all of my time) with our kids - but I know he would chose to work even if the choice was his, so this helps. Also, when he does get home I feel better knowing that I will take care of dinner, dishes, other household stuff so that he can spend quality time with our son. When we both worked, he had to spend evenings helping me with dinner and other chores. So, he's actually getting more quality time with our son because I am now a SAHM.

Don't feel guilty about the time he is missing. Men don't get the same joy out of picking up toys and breaking up sibling rivalries as we do. If he is clamoring to spend every off minute with them and saying that he is missing out on so much, then feel bad. But if he is spending his off time taking kids in small doses and watching sports center, than you know he's ok with it!
So far as working, it doesn't sound like your heart is in that. That's ok. Just volunteer at school. Show him some projects you are working on and how much it benefits the school.

I love being a SAHM, although it does get a little lonely at times- mostly the winter when we are stuck indoors more. It's really all I ever wanted to do. I was a teacher for 2 years before becoming a mom, and I've never looked back.

I understand the guilt, especially when things get stressful for my husband at work, or when $ is a little tight, but it helps that he sees value in what I do every day. I do try to do everything possible to save $ every way possible though, and see that as part of my contribution. I almost never buy anything that isn't on sale, and use coupons whenever possible. I typically get my groceries for between 40 and 60 % off that way.

Also I know that if I were working too, yes, we would be a little better off financially, but $ isn't everything. We might have more "stuff", but we would both be stressed and tired, and I'd need his help around the house. He appreciates coming home after a long, crazy day to a nice hot, homemade meal and being able to relax with the children.

When my 4th goes off to school in 2 years, I plan to stay home, at least for a year or 2. There are tons of projects that need to be done around the house that we never seem to have time for because we've almost constantly had at least 1 little one for the last 12+ years. After that, we'll re-evaluate, and make a decision then, but it's pretty much impossible to know what things will be like 4 years from now.

So, for now, try not to think ahead too far- enjoy what you are doing now and know that you are most certainly a valuable asset to your family! :)

Take it as time goes. My youngest are far from going to school, but I think that when they both are in school I may want to get a part time job. Only for the sake of getting out of the house, and having a little of my own spending money. Not that my husband "monitors" my spending, but sometimes I feel like I shouldn't buy something because it's not a neccessity.
Sounds like you truly enjoy being a SAHM. Thats great! Why feel guilty about that? I think being a SAHM while VERY hard, is a blessing to your kids. We were recently at a party and my friends grandmother who Id never met said that she could tell by how my children behaved that I stayed home with them. That made me feel great! Embrace your role!

I used to have the same guilt of "look at how much he is missing while he is at work." And I really just love being home with my kids and assumed he would too. I was a SAHM for four years, then my husband got laid off and I was the one who could find work. So we decided that I would work while he stayed home with our four year old and one year old.
He figured that he would be able to use all his "spare time" to job hunt. I literally laughed at him and asked him what kind of spare time he thought a stay at home parent had. He listed a few things like, when the four year old was at preschool, when the baby napped, and when they played nicely together in the playroom in the afternoon. HAHA
After seven months he had not even finished updating his resume because he had NO spare time! He did a wonderful job of being a stay at home dad, he even learned to do our daughter's hair :) He spent countless hours shuffling the kids back and forth to the preschool, drawing with crayons with the baby, and learning to keep both kids happy in the car all by himself... BUT, after only seven months he was DONE. He wanted his old life back where he got to escape the noise, eat lunch without a kid hanging on his leg, and have adult conversations with other people, mainly men.
So the lesson learned for him was that my job at home was much more demanding than he thought (he has never complained since then about laundry not being kept up or his favorite mug still not being washed!). And the lesson learned for me was that he really DID want to get out of the house and be at work and that he was ok with missing some of the stuff he did.
As for what are you going to do when all your kids are in school? How about volunteering in their classes? Keeping an eye on what is going on in their daily lives and continuing to be a presence they know is there whenever they need you? Think about forgotten lunches, science projects that need to be brought and set up half way through the day, the school nurse calling you to pick up your sick kid, school holidays, half days, parent/teacher conferences... Just because they are in school doesn't mean you are off duty, you can remind your husband of that. Maybe you can use his job as an example - a firefighter doesn't spend all his time fighting fires or at emergencies, they live at the station. They cook, they do training, they clean... but they NEED to be there for when the call comes in, and it WILL come in! Same idea for a SAHM :)

My husband and I were both teachers when DD1 was born. I taught another school year, so she was in daycare from 6 months -16 months. Not only was daycare expensive, but all the meds/dr visits we had really added up too.

When I got pregnant with DD2 a good friend of ours was looking for childcare and I was trying to find anyway to stay home. So I now babysit for her and stay home with my two girls. I also babysit 4 other kids part time (so I don't have them ever all at once).

If I went back to teaching and put both kids in daycare it would take my entire paycheck (minus about $100 a month) to have them in daycare. So with me working we would be loosing about $1,000 a month (babysitting money).

My husband sometimes tries to make me feel guilty about not working. I try to calmly explain to him how we would actually have less money, but sometimes men are not the best listeners :)

I love that I get to stay home with the kids, sometimes I just wish he would understand what a JOB it is. I don't ever get a lunch, or a break, or any kind of downtime at all. And lately the kids haven't been sleeping well so that just adds onto my day. Just a little vent. I LOVE MY LIFE! I want to spend every second of my life with my kids, sometimes though it would be nice to take a shower by myself. ;)

It is a job, it is work. You are contributing to your family!!

Every family is different, you decided what works the best for you and your family. As moms we always feel guilty, it's our nature. You have addressed this question because you are a great mom! Just let it go and enjoy being a mom.

I have been a SAHM since the birth of our third child - we now have 5. At first I stayed at home because we did the math and I could save more staying at home than I would have made continuing to work outside the home, once you added in childcare, gas, extra lunches, medical co-pays and so forth. My husband was agreeable, mostly because he just wanted me to be happy.

Almost 11 years later and this whole venture has taken on a completely different meaning. The plan is the same but the mission changed.

We are military. In the first 10 years of our marriage, my husband had 4 deployments overseas to Saudi, Oman, Iraq and Iraq again. He has had numerous TDY's (small trips of 2 to 6 weeks), too many to count, and has missed countless weekends and evenings. His job is very demanding and it's a "no fail mission." Given all of that, we both feel that one of us needs to be the stability in our home. The more demanding his job has become the more important it has been for us that our kids have one parent who is always available. Even if our kids were all in school (and next year they will be) it is imperitive to us that I am there to be in classrooms volunteering, take care of them if they are sick, go to appointments and conferences, parties and performances. Of all of the things I can do for them, being there for them is the biggest contribution I can make and isn't worth any ammount of money.

Don't get me wrong, I have plans when they go to school. I want to take some classes, go back to school part time maybe, focus on me just a little bit. This family has been my entire focus for 20 years, since I've had my first child, and I look forward to stretching myself in new ways. But it won't be anything that keeps me from them and if I have to choose, they win hands down.

Every mom makes their own decision and I believe in my heart that they make the decision they think is best for them and their families. You just make the decision that YOU think is best for YOU and yours and sit down with your husband and talk to him about the non-tangiable things you give that you can't replace with a paycheck from a part time job. It's all about communication and making sure he sees where you HEART is.

Hope this helps,

L.

I am a SAHM and I am thankful that I can be. My hubby teases me about sitting around the house like Peg Bundy eating bon bon’s, but he knows how much I do. I talked to him about getting a part time job and he was like then who will take care of the house. I realize that I would get less done if I were working. There are days that I feel board, but that only lasts for a minute or so, lol. You and your hubby should talk about this subject, it is something you both need to agree on.

I think you need to talk to DH about his expectations and yours. Just because he doesn't know what his mom did doesn't mean she was bored, lonely or didn't want to put her feet up for an hour and watch a soap opera. Mothers in general work hard. I would not take on anybody else's ideas as your own guilt. You enjoy your job. Your husband's employment brings in enough that you can be home.

I work from home, but we were spending $299/week (and that was mid-range here - one place wanted $440 for the timeframe I needed) on daycare when I left the 9-5. So add that, plus lunches, plus my 45 minute commute, plus work clothes...we did better when I worked, but we did factor the savings quite a bit.

When DH works from home, I'm still here, so he's not bothered unless he wants to be. He has little idea how many interruptions you get with a small child. If I had a different job, I'd need a sitter to manage. Dishes, laundry, the cat puked, "what do you mean you peed on the carpet?", "Sure, I'll read you a story"...a mother's job never seems done. Lunch? I eat and work.

Anyway, this is you, not me. Talk to your DH. Don't feel guilty.

I work mainly because I enjoy getting out of the house, and I enjoy my job as a nurse. If you are not interested in work outside of raising a family and taking care of household needs then perhaps you have already found your calling, and you are living the dream. Personally I think that if I stopped working all together I would get so crabby that the whole family would suffer. You do not seem to have this problem. Sit hubby down and let him know that you are right where you are meant to be. If the family needs more income that's different; you do what you have to do, even if that means working part-time outside the home, to make ends meet. If you are comfortable financially then I think it's great that you focus on your family, and additionally you truly embrace it and do not yearn for other types of work. When the kids go off to school you might find that you do want to get out and work a few hours here and there for the social interaction and sense of satisfaction. Who knows. Keep an open mind and keep the lines of communication open so your expectations are the same as your husband's.

Don't feel guilty -- your kids will thrive on your being a SAHM. If both people don't need to work, then it is usually better that one person stays home, unless she absolutely hates being at home. Being at home when kids are little is a full-time job, and working does cost money.

Just discuss this with your husband. Does he want you to work because you need the money? Or is he just worried about you being bored? Tell him you'll let him know when you're bored.

Don't feel guilty that your husband doesn't get to spend as much time with the kids: first of all, that's not possible, unless you are independently wealthy, and secondly, if he's like most men, he would be bored out of his skull being a SAHD.

Stop being guilty. Your kids need you.

I have been a sahm for the last 5 years(since I became pregnant with my 2nd child). With my oldest I started college when he was 3 months old, plus worked a full time job. Luckily I working in a daycare so when I wasnt in school I was allowed to bring him to work with me free of charge. I then left that job and worked full time for 3 years. My oldest was in pre-k when I became pregnant with my daughter. There are 5 years between the 2. With figuring in the cost of daycare and gas. I was spending more going to work than what I was making.

In all honesty I have had only 1 full year in the last 5 that I have not done some type of work. I am an Independent Partylite consultant, I worked from home as a Drafter for a company doing drawings that he needed done, plus was going back to my old job from November till Christmas to help with the holidays. Now I am watching a family friends 3 boys. When times got real tough I worked but mainly try and work from home. Since April I have solely worked as a consultant, really pushing my business and have done great. I am only out of the house at the most 6 hours a week. This allows me to have my adult conversations. lol Plus now I get paid to watch the other 3 kids.

My husband loves me being home. He comes home to a hot dinner after working all day. The house is somewhat clean. lol Usually depends on if the other kids have left for home yet or not. With 5 kids and 3 of those being under the age of 5, makes it endless to try and clean up right behind them. He is greatful that he can come home and relax. When I worked full time there where many times that he would have to get dinner started as I was working past 6pm. When I dont have the extra for the day and my 2 are in school. Thats when I do my grocery shopping, a deep clean of the house or other things that might be a little harder to do while the kids are home.
Most men only last a day or two and then look at you and ask how you get everything done that you do. So there is no need to feel guilty!

Maybe a different way to look at things...

We all wish our husbands could truly understand and appreciate our lives as SAHMs. How many times have we each said "men couldn't do this job" or "he just doesn't get it" or "he doesn't understand how much goes in to raising the kids and running the house". We try & tell them to try walking in our shoes - but they don't get it. I wonder if our husbands have similar thoughts? Perhaps you do this already, but I know I could do a better job expressing to my husband my understanding and appreciation of him.

Could your husband, by talking about you going back to work, be hinting that he'd like you to demonstrate an understanding of his contribution to the family? I mean, you may already be doing this like crazy (& I could be very off base). I wonder if acknowledging the importance and value of his role AND how both your role AND his contribute to making your family function so well might help you both understand and appreciate each other.

Than again, maybe it's that money's tight and he's hoping for a little sharing of the burden. Could just be me looking for a bigger psychological meaning than there really is. ;)

Im a full SAHM too my husband works in the oil field and is only home 5 days out of the month. I too feel guilty about getting to enjoy the house and our kids. I also get the speech about working when all the kids are in school.

I figure marriage is about compromise and if he would want me to get a separate paycheck eventually.......we will budget a once a month maid and yard service..:)

No matter what the situation, I think Moms are prone to feeling guilty. I work 75% time and both my kids are in school now. I would love to be a SAHM and you should not feel guilty! You don't want the guilt of sending your kids to school with a cold because you have to be at a meeting that day. Can they make it through the day, yes, but it would be so much nicer to keep them home and cuddle all day. Or missing a school activity that's during the day because you can't take off. There are so many volunteer activities at our school and I have to be very selective what I can sign up for because of my work schedule. I feel guilty I can't be a room mom at all of the parties and be a guest reader, etc.

We need the money, so I don't have an option, but if you can make ends meet, staying home isn't something to feel guilty about.

Maybe he's just feeling the strain of being the sole bread winner in the family and would like a little more financial freedom when the kids go to school. He obviously thinks highly of what you do for the family and loves that you take care of everyone with such love. You're worrying about something that doesn't need to be worried about yet. It'll be several years until both kids are in school. Just focus on doing what you're doing and give it some time. He might change his mind, you might change yours.

Maybe he is jealous of the time you get to spend with the kids. My husband is. What I do is suggest several activities they could do together or I make plans and get out of the house so it's just them and he gets to spend one on one time with our daughter. He loves it! I have to push it though because he's just not the guy who will say, I want more time with our kid.

I'm a SAHM who does not do it nearly as well as you do! Maybe you can come teach me! Being domestic isn't my thing and I don't enjoy it. I do enjoy spending this time with my child (and one on the way) and wouldn't trade it for the world. I'm terrible at cleaning (I hate it and feel no satisfaction in getting it done) and cooking (same thing). I'm terrible with no deadlines. Yes, I can set them for myself but I know if I don't meet them there are no consequences. I'm much better working. When my kids go to school I'll go back to work and I'm looking forward to it. I may try to do some adjunct teaching prior to that. I miss the financial stability we had when we both worked, I miss the challenge of work, and the independence and freedom of it. I love what I did and it really fills me up and makes me feel good about myself. Being a SAHM doesn't do that for me but being a mom does.

So, I've digressed but I would talk to your husband, just like you said. Find out why he wants you to work when the kids go to school. I'm sure you guys can come to some sort of compromise. He doesn't know what his mom did when he was in school? She cleaned, cooked, laundry, errands etc... and could actually complete those projects because she had no kids in tow! lol :) Staying at home is 2 full time jobs!!!

Don't stress. You're doing the right thing and this will work itself out. *hugs*

Hi,
You got some good responses but just wanted to say you are a valuable asset that a price tag can not be put on. I am also a SAHM and totally get the guilt and my husband works in the construction field. He works long hours (which is very tiring work) so he does get jealous of me being a SAHM. But I remind him that if I were working he would not have the nice dinners I make 5-6 night a week. If I were rushing around to pick up kids and then get home 5pm, I wouldn't have the time or energy to make a nice meal that the whole family can sit at the table an enjoy. (well when the kids aren't being picky :) ) Number one we are eating healthier and we can use dinner time to bond and teach manners. So another valuable asset is teaching your family values that they would not learn in daycare. Your kids may learn some manners in daycare until some parent complains and then the daycare has to "please the masses" You get to instill the values you want your children to have specifically, I think this is huge! So even when your kids go to school, you will still be making dinners and doing housework. Your evenings should be more free to help kids with homework and spend time together which will make them better students and better people! Somehow we got trapped into thinking this isn't important and that we need to be doing something "productive" every second. Enjoy your kids!
M.

I have been a SAHM since my first daughter was born 8.5 years ago. We now have 3 kids, my youngest in preschool. It's the best decision we've ever made. I am always here for my kids when they need me, I can get some cleaning and laundry done, cook dinner so it's ready for DH when he gets home, etc. When DH is home we then are free to do things as a family which is so valuable. I see my neighbors and friends who work outside the home and I don't envy them at all...they are shuttling kids to daycare, stuck doing their laundry/cleaning on weekends, resorting to take-out for dinner cause they're home late and too tired to cook. I realize that some moms have to work to make ends meet and there are some that choose to work cause they just don't want to be home all day with the kids, we all have to make a choice that suits are families and this choice suits ours. I don't feel guilty about it and you shouldn't either.
As for going back to work when my youngest is in school, yes my DH has eluded to that and I think he'd like for me to at least find something part-time, jut to help with the extras in life (sports and activity fees, vacation money, etc.) However, I know that if I chose to stay home he'd support me all the way, he appreciates what I do for our family and home.
I read this once a long time ago before kids and it always sticks with me. One day we'll be old and we'll be thinking about what we wish we would have done differently with our lives. I don't think many people would say "I wish I'd worked more when the kids were little." Enjoy your babies while you can, they're only little once. Good luck.:)

i know some women who plan to take time off work once the kids are in school, so that they can be more involved in their school lives, help with homework after school, volunteer at school, attend performances, etc. so, you may find that when your kids hit school, you'll have even LESS time to work a second job... on the other hand, if finances require it, you may find that having some income is a good way to balance the stresses in your family.

i'm a SAHM mom this past year to my 15 mo and 4yo after being laid off from my full-time career... and i am torn between wanting to be a great SAHM vs. a career mom again. i personally look forward to being able to work again once the kids are both in school. in the meantime, i'm hoping to be able to be mostly at home for the kids' sakes, maybe working part time for the next 3 years.