RSVP Question...

I can definately relate!! My Daughter's b-day was last weekend, and out of 24 invitations, I got TWO calls from school friends. Neither of which showed up on the day of the party, nor called to let us know that they weren't going to make it. There were, however, five other kids that DID show up - and their parents said that they didn't call because they just assumed that I knew that they would be there!

I would write a cute poem or something - and send it to school...

Good Luck!!

C., I HATE PEOPLE WHO DON'T R.S.V.P. MY DAUGHTERS PARTY WAS SUCH A HASSLE. I DID LET HER INVITE OTHER PEOPLE TO FILL IN THE HOLES,AND GUESS WHAT WHEN THE DAY CAME EVERYONE SHE HAD ASKED SHOWED UP. I WAS SHOCKED AND A BIT MAD I DIDN'T EXPECT SO MANY, SO I TOOK THE PARENTS ASIDE AND EXPLAINED THAT I DIDN'T EXPECT THEM BECAUSE THEY DID NOT RSVP BUT THEY WERE WELCOME TO STAY IF THEY WOULD PAY THE DIFFERENCE. MOST WERE FINE WITH THAT AND FEW GOT MAD AND LEFT,BUT AFTER A COUPLE OF DAYS THEY ALL CALLED TO APOLOGIZE. WHEN SOME GOT HOME THEIR HUSBAND ASKED THEM IF WHAT THEY WOULD HAVE DONE. WE ARE NOT POOR NOR ARE WE RICH,I HAVE OTHER THINGS TO SPEND MY MONEY ON. THAN INCONSIDERATE PEOPLE., BUT SINCE YOU PUT A DATE ON IT, I WOULD WAIT UNTIL THAT DAY TO DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT. I WOULD HAVE MY DAUGHTER ASK FOR PHONE NUMBERS FROM THOSE FRIENDS THEY SAY THEY ARE COMING

Yes I understand your frustration. I had RSVP on my sons birthday invitations too. I put my email and phone to make it
easy for everyone.

Some people just get busy and forget, but show up.
Some kids might of just asked and not actually showed the invite to there parents. Some won't show and some will.
If you don't have the phone numbers, the only other thing
you can do is have your child ask there friends who is coming and who isn't.

The only time the RSVP worked good was with our wedding invitations. Maybe times have changed, but its hard to plan.

Good luck ! Birthdays get so costly !

C.,
I don't think people are doing this to be malicious -- they are just forgetful and there are sooo many things competing for people's attentions these days. Our lives are way too busy, overbooked -- without any down time. I know that's no excuse, but that's the way I've seen it when I've confronted some families about not RSVPing to me earlier. I usually always follow-up with the people I've invited to make sure I know if they are coming or not - don't want any surprises the day of.

I like the idea of sending a note to school to put in the kids' backpacks but please give the parents a warning to RSVP [[and state that this is a yes, I'm coming response - or no, I'm not coming response.]] by - give them a few extra days - or else you'll have to assume they are not coming. and give your phone and email address. Give them a 2nd chance to RSVP - more than likely they forgot, but the children haven't and they would be sooo crushed if they couldn't come to the party --and they got a note in their backpack saying they couldn't come anymore!!! [[that would be too cruel. it's not the kids' fault that the parent is scattered-brain.]] So let the note be a warning note to RSVP by such and such date and explain that you need to know a firm headcount because there is a limited # of people you can have at the party and there are other children who would like to come.

OK and if after this attempt that you still don't get a good response.... then assume they really aren't coming.
I think some people really do think that RSVP means a "yes only" response. And that no response implies they are not coming. But we all know that is incorrect....RSVP means reply either way. I get this all the time...I plan many events for our church group and there are a select few that just never RSVP but they still show up whenever they feel like it or don't show up....weird.

C.,

As a mom of a 7yr. old I have never had the entire invite list RSVP. Unfortunately this is something I think people don't feel the need to do anymore. I like the other mom's advice and have your daughter ask her friends to see if they can give you some insight. One year, my daughter had everyone show up and then last year only three did so I too understand your frustration. Good Luck!

Funny how so many people say they get frustrated with others not RSVPing, yet none of us seem to get the RSVPS when we send out the invites. Apparently, people just don't RSVP anymore. I am in the same situation, only its not for a child's birthday party. We are having a Holiday party and need to plan for food and wine, and the difference between 30 people and 100 people showing up is a lot. And if we only plan for 30 and 100 show up, we won't have enough food or wine or anything else! We, too put a date on the rsvp, of November 1st and I am still having people RSVP today, and some won't at all! I have sent out emails to those that haven't responded and told plainly that I needed to know who was coming and who was not so that I could tell the cateror how many to plan for. Only a few replied!

It is very frustrating....maybe if we all put our heads together, we can come up with a way to solve this issue!!

Good luck with everything!

C.,
I know it's a bit late now but you may want to give your email address along with your phone number the next time. Or, if you do plan to send a note to school, include your email address.
Most people are on there computers several times a day if not all day.
You may be likely to get a better responce.
Good luck to you!

Alot of parents are busy and just do not think about the RSVP being that important when it comes to invites for kids parties. I would send out another note stating what you have said and that is you would like to know if Susie will be attending the party on November 19, 2006 @ TIME and PLACE. Tell them that you need to know for SAID REASON THAT YOU SAID and then give them phone number and email and hopefully you will get replies back. As well as let them know that you are sorry if they are unable to attend and hope all is well. But that you need to know on your end how many kids will be attending and so forth.

I do not think that it would be rude of you to send another note out. My daughter is 6 years old and I am sure by this time next year she will be wanting to have ALL her classmates and some other friends attending her birthday. So if I sent out RSVP's and heard only a few replies then I would send out another one to see if anyone else is coming or not so that I could allow my daughter to invite 20 more to cover the ones that did not RSVP.

I am sure that you are going to have some that did not RSVP that will show up. Happens all the time. Another thing is say that you have 20 people that did not RSVP back. I would tell your daughter to go ahead and invite 15 more kids and leave 5 spots open for the kids that did not RSVP in case you have some come in that got invites but their parents did not RSVP. This way anything over the kids your daughter invited that were NEW and then any over the 5 extra spots for the ones that got the FIRST invites that come in but just didnt RSVP.

Hope this helped some.

T.
____@____.com

I just had to respond to your post!

RSVP...
Call/email on whether or not you will be able to attend.

RSVP Regrets Only...
Call/email if you will NOT be able to attend.

This RSVP thing strikes a nerve with me. 12 years ago in the city I grew up in I was "Formally" invited to become a member of the Cotillion CLub. For those that are not aware of this, it is a "coming out" bash for 16 year old girls ranked high in society by what we called "frilly and fufu" cake baker mom's that did not have anything better to do than watch what the girls in their daughters grade were doing in and with their life. After joining, it was the best thing I ever did. We were "formally" invited to something every month whether it be brunches, mom's and me's, teas, or dances. But first, we had to take an etiquette class. From posture standing, sitting and walking; greeting people; invitation and letter writing; and RSVP's!!! From then on, I have always followed what I learned.

So, why don't people do it anymore? I ponder the answer to this question all the time and every time I send something out that requires and RSVP. I just want to tell people that the door swings both ways. You may NEVER RSVP to anything, but when the time comes when you need a count by RSVP's, you gripe about people not doing it when you are culprit yourself. That is how I feel when I am sitting in your situation. I do a lot of party/shower planning for people and help them get everything ready for it and sending out invitations is what I HATE the most.

Well, I simply tell myself that other's are as busy as I am and they just forget and lose track of time. "Nicely Put"

If you are will and have the time, then here is my suggestion. You would need to put this together this weekend to give out on Monday...give them till Wednesday to RSVP.

On a cute little note card, card stock type paper do the following:

Are we going to see sweet little ??? at my daughter ???'s Birthday Party on Saturday, November 19, 2006? Please RSVP by Wednesday, November 15.

You could give the option to call or email. Attach a lollipop to it with some curly ribbon. It is something that will catch their attention and not be wadded up and thrown away. And it is not very expensive.

On inviting more kids at this short of notice...
It depends on you. My thoughts are that it is not polite as people may see it as their kids were left out the first time or something like that. Now, if you know their parents and can make a phone call in the next couple of days to invite them, then I would go ahead. Set a limit of additional invites like to 5 or something you think is reasonable for your budget.

And finally, your have the right to be FRUSTRATED about this!! Good Luck and let us know how it turns out.

K.

I don't think there is anything wrong with your idea about sending "regret notes", but still would not expect the outcome to be 100% accurate. There is no reason your sweet little girl needs to be penalized because others are inconsiderate by not bothering to RSVP one way or the other. I feel like I'm sounding harsh, but this type of thing frusterates me too. I hope it all works out okay!

This is one of my biggest pet pieves! If you really need to have a good number, I would send notes home to those that have not RSVP'd (on Monday) and ask them to either call or email you and include your email. Email might work better. I always put my email address on my daughter's bday invites.

Good luck!

C.,
You're in a tough spot. I'd say unless you're willing to fork out the $ for the extra invites, don't just to be safe, because if your luck's like mine, they'd all show up and then some when you thought you were "filling in holes".

You're not alone. No one seems to RSVP anymore.

R.

Hate to say this but hardly anyone RSVP's these days, which is sad!! I would start calling people!! That will emberras them, which they should be, and get some anwsers for you!!!

I have found out that what I think RSVP means to me is not the same thing to other parents!! Unfortunately, I have had very few people call or email me to give me an idea of headcount at my children's parties. I also have had most of those people show up with their child at the party, so just to give you an FYI. I wouldn't send follow up letters, though it can be very tempting to extend the same courtesy they extend you(try to refrain:))the next time your child receives an invitation.
Best Wishes!