RSVP: How Far in Advance Is Too Far?

that seems really early to be making the rsvp date already. I usually send out invites about 3 weeks ahead and have the rsvp date about 4-5 days before the party. I would still call and ask them if you can still go.

I would call and see if it was too late. Certenly if somone RSVPd that early, somone could be sick and it would end up being an even excahnge.

I would just call the other parent. How old are the kids?
Call up the RSVP number and just say what you did here: "Dad is the one who got it and stuck in on the corkboard and I JUST noticed it. Have you already finalized your head count? "

I am dumbfounded that the RSVP by date was 3 days after the invite was issued. I'm guessing that is either a typo or just an error (if it was handwritten). It would make much more sense to have the cutoff date be A. something... maybe A. 3rd? Who sends out invites a month in advance with a reply by date of 3 days later?? Weird.

But still, I would just call and apologize for not responding sooner, and ask if the plans are finalized. If they are not, then you can ask if it is ok to go ahead and bring your daughter, and apologize again for the late reply.
Maybe they had some other date mixed up in their head for some reason... who knows? Maybe the 23rd was when THEY had to reserve the pavilion at the park by...

I think three weeks is a little much for an RSVP, since it sounds like it's only a birthday party or something. If it were a wedding then I'd say three weeks isn't too much. At least someone is planning ahead!! Shoot, my in-laws call two days before an event and expect us to drop everything for them.

If I were you, I would just call and see if it's still ok for your daughter to attend.

Like my Mom always said: it never hurts to ask!!

Good luck!!

You can always call and ask. She can always say no.

I'd, also, call to ask if it's too late.

Wait... the invitations were given out on 3/20 and they only gave people 3 days to RSVP? Am I reading that right? Sounds weird to me. However, I guarantee they will still welcome your DD to the party if you just call and explain what happened.

I do think that the invitation was sent out too far in advance. A month-ish in advance, with 3 days notice to RSVP - a lot of people don't even have their schedules locked down that far in advance.

I do not think RSVP on the 23rd of March is too early, yet only having 3 days is not enough time. So many people are super bad about RSVPing. I would call today. I would explain you were waiting on your work schedule then dropped the ball.

If the party is this weekend, I am sure the mom is buying all the food this week. I am not sure if she ordered special party favors for the kids and needed 3 weeks to get the names put on the item. I do know some place (gymnastics) want a head count soon so they can have enough help onsite, but even these place know how difficult it is to get head counts right until a week before the party.

If it's that important to you, I would call and ask, explaining the situation and apologizing for the inconvenience. Do NOT just show up.

The early RSVP was likely to give the planner an idea of what to expect and not for a final count. Or maybe he/she wanted to lock you in to feel better about whatever the final accommodations end up being, so they don't feel bad about too much or too little.

I think that the amount of advance notice depends on the type of event. If they are doing something big that involves more planning, then they would need more time.

Just call the Host.
Explain what happened.
As a Wife, she would probably really understand. ie: Husbands do do things like that.
It is an honest mistake.
But, the party is, soon.
And this would be last minute.
The host family, probably already got everything planned/ordered/made/etc. So, your late response MAY be not possible to include your child.
But, maybe just explain to the Host.
As to why... you did not... respond back earlier.
So that there is no confusion about it.

Definitely call and ask if it's too late. The parent probably put a close RSVP date so people wouldn't put it on the fridge and forget. I can't tel you how many times I called the day or two before the party to RSVP for my kid. Every time the mom was more than gracious and sweet.

of course I would call and tell her what you told us!!

A 3 day lead? Sorry - that's just weird.

When I have RSVPs - I have it the week prior to the event- maybe even 3 days....that far out? No one will remember. I call or e-mail people (like I have to for my oldest son's party) next week to make sure they are coming.

CALL!! the worst that can happen is she's already ordered the food and says - sorry! But really?! I doubt it!!

That seems really early to RSVP. I usually give 1-2 weeks before the party for people to RSVP. Sometimes I will get people calling me 1-2 days before hand and ask if it's too late to RSVP. I always count on a couple of extra kids that I haven't heard from to show up. Not everyone will RSVP. I say just call and say "I'm sorry I didn't RSVP earlier but I did not realize the date had passed. Is it too late to RSVP" I'm sure the parent will understand.

Seems like her date was very early and now your reply would be quite late even under normal rsvp parameters. If I were you, I'd email that you are so sorry, explain what happened and say your daughter would have loved to attend but you know it's likely too late. Then she can say "no problem!" or let it be too late. That way you're not putting her on the spot. Given it's at a park, it should be ok but the early date would indicate either it's more complicated a party than it might seem or she's kind of anal.

I think 1 week is pretty standard for the RSVP deadline for most parties.

I think the invitations went out with plenty of lead time - the problem was in the 3 day window to reply. I think one week's notice is fine for an in-home party, maybe 10 days for a venue or a situation in which tables and chairs need to be rented. Anything more than that is unreasonable except for something like a formal wedding in which the hosts are dealing with caterers and more involved planning.

Invited guests should have at least 1 month to set schedules, arrange carpools or sitters, etc. It's annoying to get an invitation for next week and have to hurry up and figure things out - and often people find they had plans already and just couldn't go. So other than a casual BBQ or pot luck, I think it's rude to invite people last-minute. If invitations went out on 3/20 for a 4/14 party, RSVPs should be due 4/7 or 4/10. (And truthfully, no one should HAVE to put "RSVP" on an invitation - guests should be decent enough to reply without being told. But that's not the way it works anymore, unfortunately.

I typically send my invites 4-6 weeks before the party (whenever possible) and have an RSVP date for 7-10 days before the party. I like 7 but people are always late so 10 gives us a cushion.

The only thing is, depending on what they are doing (ording favors etc.) 7-10 days doesn't give much time....that's why I always end up with way too much favors, crafts, etc.

If your daughter would really like to go, call the mom and explain that you are sorry you didn't rsvp on time (going on not you should always reply) but you are just seeing the invite for the first time. Ask if it is too late for your daughter to attend? Thank her either way.

Go ahead and ask! The worst that can happen is that you're told No because the venue needed a firm number.

The 3 day window is really odd and makes me think it could be a typo.

I'd just call and ask; say what happened and that you never saw the invitation.

The issue isn't how far in advance the invitation went out - the issue is a three-day deadline for responding. That's way too short a window; a week at least would be best. Maybe the mom needed to give the park a head count by Mar. 24 but didn't send the invitations out as early as she should have, resulting in the tiny time frame for a response. Whatever happened, it's over now, and all you can do is ask and do a big "my bad" for not seeing it-- that does happen to us all.

Yes, I would call and see if your daughter can still attend. In most cases, one more child doesn't mean major adjustments. If they say no, then it's a "no".

I usually ask for an RSVP 3 or 4 days before having to order the food. That way, I have 3 or 4 days to send emails or make calls to get the final head count.

The party is at a park, but they may have some activities or treats planned that require a 2 or 3 week "lead time".