Room Play

sounds normal to me. Both my kids (now 17 & 11) did not play alone in their rooms till they were older.

M.,
My son who is 4 is kind of the same way. However, what I've started doing with him is this. When his baby sister goes down for her nap, he get "play time in his room" or "independent play time." I set a timer, and he can come out when the timer beeps. The first few days that I did that, he felt like it was a punishment and he mostly just sat in the doorway or played with his money (not toys). However, now is beginning to have great playtime, and sometimes doesn't even want to be done when the timer goes off. I have the timer set for 60 minutes, but you may need to start small and work up. He seems to do better with that "break" and so does Mom! :) I hope this works for you or gives you an idea that will work.

I don't know what yours are into, but both my boys are crazy about trains. They each have a table and set that we squeezed into one of their rooms. The oldest can play in there for an hour! The 3 year old (youngest) doesn't play for quite that long, but loves hanging out w/his brother so...
I always wonder how much time I should really play with them and how much I should just let them be. I remember as a kid always needing to be entertained or constantly saying 'I'm bored' so I guess it's a good thing for them to learn. Anyway, all this to say, maybe they would play longer if they had something that really interested them. Good luck...OH, just had a thought. If he insists on following you around, make him help w/'your chores'!! That's one thing I did when my oldest had a hard time staying in his room during naptime. If he got up during my 'work time' then he had to help me get what I needed to do done.

M.,
I agree with Carolyn, it's normal, and I think more so with boys. I have 1 girl (13), 2 boys (11 & 2). They have always been my shadow. My little girl loved to play by herself, and now as a teenage, always wants to be by herself. My boys are usually right by me, especially the baby, and they both are jealous of each other, the 11 year old won't admit to it. I enjoy it most of the time, the baby still follows me into the bathroom. As for the cleaning part, I have them help me, the baby is the best help. For Christmas 2007, my mom got him his own broom, and he just loved it. I have him help me with everything, sometimes doing dishes is a little tricky. He helps with laundry, turns the dial, puts in the clothes, puts them in the dryer, well, pushes them in the dryer.
You are doing a great job and he just wants to be around his mommy.
You need to ENJOY it, Carolyn is right, it won't last...

It seems clear that your son would much rather be with you wherever you are rather than to "play". My most precious memories as a child are "helping" in the kitchen, garden or wherever my parents were. As you are doing laundry, cleaning, etc., provide your son ways that he can help you. It will be beneficial for him in many ways.

Close-knit familes have unfortunately become a thing of the past and now we have rebellious teenagers, teeens sneaking around doing drugs, and parents that don't communicate with their children. I would be perfectly HAPPY that my child wanted to remain close to me. I would even encourage it. Don't let our western world tell you 'he needs to learn to play on his own.' He's okay, he just loves his M.! Cherish that every chance you get!

Hello....I have two as well and deal with the same thing. It's not as bad as when he was younger...he's now 5. But when everyone is home he is fine and does his own thing. I think it might be a security thing for them. He still won't play upstairs if it's just him and I. He'll go up and grab something to play with and bring it down stairs...which is fine with me. My older one was the same way. Instead of viewing it as such a negative thing, try to embrace it! Although it may be annoying at times. You'll miss it when they aren't around. Not sure this helps any, but at least you know it's not just your child. ;)

My youngest, who is 4, is the same way which is new to me because my oldest always wanted to play by himself. I try to start a game with him and tell him I'll be right back. Then, I go do something and come back for a few more minutes and do it again. The time span grows each time and usually after a couple rounds of that, he's engrossed in what he's doing.

I used to have this same issue. However, I did not view it as a problem. You do miss it when they do not want to be around you. My 3-year-old goes back and forth. One day he plays in his room for hours and then other days he is right underneath me. What I try to do is first thing when I wake up (if he is still in bed) try to get as much done while he is sleeping. I start with the bedrooms & bathrooms. Then when he wakes up I have sniggle time (some say snuggle, I say sniggle) We turn on a cartoon and I sit and hold him until he is ready for breakfast (this is normally 30 minutes). While he eats breakfast I work on the rooms that are closest to where he is eating. I also work on laundry (Our utility room is right off of the kitchen (which is right off of the living room). That way he knows exactly where I am and can see me while I clean. After he is done eating I turn on the lights in his bedroom and ask him to play in his room while I finish (whatever room I am working on). I tell him that I will come and check on him in a few minutes. If he is having a clingy day I tell him what I have to get done and have him help. If he is having an emotional day (these are the days that he wants to be held a lot) I normally give up on my house work and hold him as much as possible. I didn't have the luxury of staying home with oldest child and wish I could have held her more! Enjoy your time with your children as much as possible. Do not get discouraged if you can't get things done because they want to be held a lot or want to be right there with you. There will come a day when they won't want you around.

Hi M..

I too have a 3 yr old son with the same issue. What has worked for us is using delaying gratification. For example, we start our day with Mommy time (he either chooses a game, artwork or simply watching a cartoon with Mom) then we have what we call "Down time" which is him choosing another activity which he plays by himself - in his room for 45 min to an hour. That's when I get my stuff done around the house. He also understands that if he has no "Down time", he can't play another game with Mom, so he usually sticks to it. Another tip is to pick several toys from his room that he rarely plays with and store them in the top of a closet - out of site. After a week or so, bring them out and they're like new again. You'd be amazed to see how long they stay in their room to play with these new found toys. Option 3, is to create your own sticker chart for "down time". If he collects seven stickers in a row without being Moms shadow, he gets a special treat. Hope this helps you.

I have a day care at home and my children under 2 do not like me to leave the room unless they start to play with other children next to them at 4 they are more independent. Sounds like he needs children his age to play with. G. W

invite a friend for your son over so he has someone to occupy some of his time. It's easier to have more than one!

Antique Mom here:

I never heard of "room play" !!!!!!!!!!! If I remember correctly, my son usually played near me unless he had a friend over. When he was younger than 3, I felt better about knowing where he was and what he was doing. When he was 3 his sister was born and they played together after that.

I'm with the moms that wonder if you could involve him in your home tasks. Have him help you clean! When you're doing kitchen work, sit him at the table or counter with some homemade play dough (so easy to make! very inexpensive) You could have him tear up the lettuce for salads, cut olive slices with a butter knife, grate carrots...

Hope you work it through!

A.

Totally normal!

My little guy will be 4 in March and he doesnt set foot in his room to play unless he has a friend over or can convince one of his sister (7 and 10) to come and play with him.

I have no idea where you live, I am in Grand Prairie, but on Monday I am hosting a Preschool Activity Bag Swap at my house. I homeschool, so I really need for my son to be able to be entertained at times while I am working on things with his sisters. The concept of having lots of activities ready and on hand for him to do "just" during those needed times is genius!

http://www.activitybags.com/ActivityBags/AB.html

You are more than welcome to email me if you would like to join us and if that is too uncomfortable for you, think about hosting your own swap or you can just buy the ebook and make the activities yourself. Its just funner with a group of moms!

GL!

C.
www.CandiSno.com

My boys are 4 and 11, and neither of them ever play in their rooms, and I love it. They both know how to entertain themselves well, but they play in the kitchen or living room - wherever I am. They store toys in their rooms, but don't play in there. I kept thinking that as they got older they would want more privacy, but so far that hasn't happened (I'm surprised it hasn't with the 11 year old). We are a close-knit family and do lots together. I won't let them have TVs or computers in their rooms because I want to know what they are watching/doing as they get older. I teach high school and hear too much about what my students are doing when parents don't watch. Anyway, I'm able to do my cleaning, cooking, etc. while they play around me. It's no problem because I don't have to entertain them, although they do like to help fairly often too. You asked what you are doing wrong, but I think you're doing everything right. :-)

put the timer on and tell your son he is to be in his room /play room till the timer goes off. when the timer goes off, he can be with you.

my two year old is the same way but we just keep encouraging her to play in her room, always leave her light on and toys and books within her reach

My little girl will be three this next week. She is pretty good about playing by herself, but there are times she wants to be where the action is. We have a bar in our kitchen that I set her at and give her markers or playdough and let her go at it. It gives me a chance to get some things done in that area, and it gives me a chance to interact with her as well. I Hope this is of some help.

Kids naturally want to be with other people, actually we all do. When we push others away they figure out that we don't want to be with them and eventually they will decide that they don't want to be with you. This is true for kids and adults. Obviously your child has the personality that likes being with other people. If you don't fill that need then when he is older he will find someone to fill that need.

Have him help you clean. Give him tasks. Let him play near you.

That is normal they always want your attention and to know where you are. It will get better though.

It is very normal, they just like to be where a parent is, and has nothing to do with you doing anything wrong. When I cooked supper my kids were there also, not that I had to be giving them attention or anything, they just wanted to be where I was. As they get older they play with their things in their room espically if it is toys that get all strung out and they can leave them like a train or farm yard set etc. but to have a little bit of toys or a truck etc. where you are is really normal.

That is actually very common. Most young kids do not like to play in their room while you are about the house. My little one has a whole play room of toys, but she won't play in it unless I am there. What I usually do if I have to clean is move toys out into the livingroom (the central part of my house). That way she can see me come and go while she plays.

My oldest plays well alone, but likes to know where I am most of the time. My 18 month old follows me constantly. I call him my baby duck. He goes wherever I go and sits at my feet if I stay in one place long enough. He and I are very close and he likes me around. I have no problem with being wanted so much because someday soon he'll not want mom around too much. So, I'm enjoying it all I can. I think it is perfectly normal and they won't do it forever.

You are not doing anything wrong. They just love and want to be with their mommy. Kids are a lot of work! But always remember that they will move out someday and you will miss them! good luck