Roles - Which One Do You Play?

When I was 10, 11, 12, I was that peacemaker. I wanted everyone to be happy.

When I was 13, 14, 15, I was a follower. I wanted to be happy.

When I was 16, 17, 18, I flew the freak flag. I was unhappy. I quit caring what people thought. Those years were the beginning of my addiction.

When I was 19, 20, 21, 22, 23...I thought my fights could change the world, and was also a hard-core junkie. Two sides, equally awful. Still unhappy.

When I was 24...I got pregnant. Since then, I have been a wife, a mother, an educator, a cook, a sober person, a caring person, an independent person, who still carries pieces of each role I have ever played.

Now, I am 32...I play many different roles, but at least now I care...about others, about myself, and I quit caring so much about things I absolutely can't change and that will only sadden me. It's vital.

Most people see themselves in a more positive light then they actually merit. Unless they have a mental disorder like depression. For example I truly think I am the sane one, however, I have a neighbor friend who gets annoyed by me. Not because I am loud and boastful (that's her) but because I am the opposite. Not phased by drama, will not get involved in crazy, and am very introverted. So, to me I am the rare sane one, to her I am the annoying one. :)

So, everyone can post their perception of themselves but it's most likely not the same perception as others in the group.

i missed the age question, but would have been one of the rare ones who answered 'i look my age.' i think i'm a good-lookin' 53 for the most part, but i love the sun, and i smoked for decades, and i have grey hair. it shows.
and of course, it just follows that i am the sane, wise, honest one in all other aspects too.
;) khairete
S.

I think I am on the side of truth.
I'm the kind if person who can usually sit by until the "wrong" doers have enough rope to hang themselves.
I like to stick up for the underdogs and the bullied.
I have to see evil attack good, or meek.
I can take a lot and turn my cheek to a point, but I so reach a ooh t where I WILL NOT take any more. That's true of me at home, with kids, at work and here.
I'm under no illusion that this board is "real life" but when THIS make believe world crosses over to MY reality, MY life or MY friends in a way that involves intimidation and deceit? Yeah, then I'm that person.
Hope this answers you question.

I fall into the quotes often credited to Dr Suess -

"Be who you are & say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind."

And..

"We're all a little weird & life is a little weird. And when we find someone who's weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall into mutually satisfying weirdness."

I'm the person who tries to listen to both sides, form my own opinion..then sometimes share it..and sometimes don't...and sometimes say will this really matter in a day...a week..a year...if it doesn't matter, I get a "who cares" attitude.

Maybe that's the right way, or wrong way, to handle things.. depending on what it is

I am the observer. I watch from the sidelines.

Well, first of all I said that I look my 35 years. I know I don't look younger!
Who do I think I am?
I think I am pretty set in my ways. I think things are pretty black and white. Wrong is wrong and right is right. When I give my opinion I am pretty straight forward, no beating around the bush for me.
I don't forgive very easily and I rarely forget.
On this board I don't think I have a "role" per say. I just say what I say. Like it or not, it's how I feel.
Sometimes, if I am really upset about something I curse. I don't feel bad about that at all. I curse a lot in real life.
I don't know any of these women in real life, but I try not to be offensive. That doesn't mean I always succeed. There are times when I am too hot tempered to be sensitive to others. I don't feel bad about that. It is what it is.
I DO think it's funny that there are some people on this board who really don't get along, in fact seem to despise each other, and I pretty consistently get flowers from both of them. I wonder if they know that they seem to agree on a lot?

I am the women who does not care what you think of her. I am the one who sometimes dislikes you before I know you. I have my own beliefs and traditions. I do help others that cannot help themselves, I am not perfect, I do not know of anyone who is. But I know of one's who think they are. I am not everyone's cup of tea and that's ok with me.

I am who I am. I don't care what some people think of me. There are others that I do care.

Will I change the world? Nope. But I might change someone's life for the better.

Do I look my age? I don't know. Really. People are having plastic surgery all the time (I have not) so WHO KNOWS what people are supposed to look like anymore...at ANY age...

In some ways, I am the person that modern people want to hate. I am religious and conservative. I am the first to defend the tried and true, whether it's marriage or church or gasp, living within your means. I am the one wipes off the tables when everyone at church is finished eating. I am responsible.

But I am also creative and artsy. Among my friends, I am the one who thinks outside the box and colors outside the lines, my style is edgy and likely to offend someone. I wasn't raised with lots of rules, other than don't offend God. I like to use what I have. Find a way to make things work.
I am the one that does things and people say, now why didn't I think of that?

There are many ways of living on the road of life. Occasionally, we all get sideways in the road, I like to pull people out of the ditch. On the other hand, I like to consider things in a big picture, trend, way..why is everyone going off in the ditch at this point (3 yr olds!).
I like cleaver humor, it divides, lol. I am sarcastic. I know the written word does not allow for sarcasm so I try to edit that here. I am the wordy friend.

I think there are a lot of diverse women on this board. I don't know anyone personally, but I have a picture of some people in my mind, based on their responses. Hard to say if people are playing a "role" in particular, vs. letting their personalities & personal experiences come through in their answers.
I've noticed in the past few weeks, some of those personal experiences have to do with bogus posts, & the more that happens, the more 'on guard' people are about answering someone at face value.
As for what I look like, I'm 38, & when I mentioned to a few coworkers that I'd be in my 40's when I graduated with my new degree, their jaws hit the ground. They all thought I was around 32. That made me feel good... and I joked that it was because my fat filled out my wrinkles!! =-)

I tend to be an empathic peacemaker, but also an idealist who will stand up for my views in the most diplomatic way I can.

I hope that is how I come across because that's how I feel.

I have always been the one who acted older than I was. It could be because my parents and siblings were older. When I was a kid I generally hung out with kids who were a year or two older than I was, despite the fact I looked younger than I was. I was the responsible, level-headed one amongst my peers. In Jr. High a group of kids from school used to call me "mom". I was the plan maker, the decision maker, the leader. I was the Lieutenant of the school patrol, the sixer of the Girl Guise unit, the Warrant Officier of the Air Cadets, the Shift Supervisor at Burger King. I'm sure my leadership qualities would have served me well if I had been ambitious, but I'm not. I'm pretty happy being a mom:)

I am quiet and a peacemaker...always have been!

~Although... I have been known to throw a full on fit, total 'V. S. Style'!!

I'm the one that thinks "OH MY GOD, SERIOUSLY"???? You think THAT is a good idea? Why, where did you ever see anyone in the world do THAT? WHY did you even have children?".

Then I have to try and post my answer without that attitude. Sometimes I totally miss that effort and still come off as a "B".

I play all those roles as the situation demands.

I am someone who, for the most part, just doesn't care. I am who I am, I believe what I believe and others can either like it or move on. I don't try to please other people, but I want the people in my life to be happy. I try not to go out of my way and piss people off, but it does happen. I'm able to recognize when I might have stepped over the line. I have bad days just like anyone else and have no problem saying I'm sorry.

For the most part I like people. I may not like their opinions all of the time, or their political beliefs but that doesn't mean I don't like them as a whole person. I don't have to agree with someone to have respect for them. We are all different, we all come from different backgrounds. Some people are people-people, and other people need some..um...better social skills, but at the end of the day I am just kinda have a whatever attitude (much to the hubby's annoyance sometimes).

I play lots of different roles depending on the context, but mostly I'm serious and focused. I've always played the responsible one, ever since I can remember. Ironically, though, as a teen, the responsible one meant making sure no one got in a car while trashed, the responsible one meant kicking assholes out of the party, the responsible one meant holding all the pot at concerts. Now I organize. I keep starting organizations when I see the need. Hubby says I'm a natural project manager given my controlling nature. He keeps telling me I need to go work for a large consulting firm, as they like trained academics like me.

Mostly, I like to think and brainstorm. I hate girlie drama, can't stand groups of women, and try hard to avoid gossip if I can. I love being in the kitchen, baking, making pasta, etc. and I love sitting outside and reading.

I also said I look younger than my age cause I still get carded from time to time, even though I I'll be 41 soon.

I play the loving passive aggressor - sometimes the troublemaker but always the friend!

I don't know. I am just who I am. I don't really think about what that means. (As far as am I the meek one, the sane one, the mean one, etc.) When asked, I answer. I really don't care how that is categorized. I change so much day to day. How could I even answer this?

I am a little befuddled right now, because I never thought of putting myself in a category like this. (I suppose I did many years ago, but not since I became an adult...that I can figure.) I truly don't know how to answer this. I don't anyone fits into one mold, ever.

**For the record, I DO look younger then my age, and I HATE it. (At least, according to society, and what is perceived as "young.") When I answered that question, it was not to boast, or skew my reality. It drives me crazy to be 30 years old and not be taken seriously by anyone publicly, because they think I'm a 20 year old kid with a 3 year old kid. It seemed to me, many people answered that question pretty honestly. Because, no one REALLY knows what age looks like. We all probably DO look younger, until we age so much that it's no secret we are getting real old. I have NO idea what a 40 year old "looks like," so I'd probably consistently tell a 40 year old they look 30. So, I'm sure that happens with most other people as well.

i am the peacemaker most of the time, but sometimes, i love causing trouble. i am the peacemaker because i think there are better and more fun things to do then participate in drama. i will walk and never look back more often then try to see who is the loudest by having an argument.

I am that girl who does not care what you think.

I have always walked to a different beat. That beat sometimes made me go crazy other times makes me feel lazy.

I stand up for what I believe in loudly. Shouting from my highest voice. Not because I think my point of view is right. But because I feel it can lead one to think.

I am not the rare sane one. I know this.

I can have my feelings hurt. I normally can thicken my skin and move forward. Especially on this board.

I dont have time for drama at my door step. If you are coming into my home, you respect that fact I am a hippie. I keep my home as if I have a houseful of children(which I do).

I smell of Patchouli and grass....and wear flowers in my dreadlocks.

I have learned over time, I only play well with other's, if they can see the world without any filter's. People who are material, still worry about material things and live to have their lives filled with stuff and more stuff drive me insane. Be happy with what is in front of you. And all the rest will figure itself out.

I dont know if I look younger or older honestly. I know I want to live as long as God will let me. Cherish all the moment good or bad, he gives those moments to us to learn from.

I think this board is constantly changing. Maturing to some degree, as we figure out how to co-exist without driving each other way. I think with every cat fight and personal battle with certain people. We learn that much more about each other and ourselves.

The fact of the matter is, it would boring as hell if we all could be friends. I think the fake friendly business is worst then having a riff here and there. Because it is like keeping stages in life. Queen Bees Lead, The Geeks teach and normally have a interesting prospective of life from where they sit, The beautiful people defy nature, the ones who entertain are the jester's, because laughter in life is a must. The soft spoken ones, make sure that all the stuff still gets done.

I dont not like people for the personality they carry. I will however make personal choices not to hang around with ones that tend to keep me down or make me question humanity.

This site is great for many many things. The first and greatest gift, is giving me a place to get to know and get along with the personalities I may not typically crowd with in person. It gives me the chance to do some of that learning to love other people. Without the commitment of the person to person contact.

Good question. There seem to be a couple up right now I will enjoy answering!

I think it takes the time that one can put in on this site, to really start getting a feel for that connection. To take the good with the bad, because there maybe times where the bad is actually the good.

I love how I have grown and changed here and how that has also translated into my growth and change in reality.

I think a lot of people have a true concept about themselves and many people live in the dark. As for the age thing I have no idea. I know I look young but I have proof over years and years starting when i was a child. And it runs in my family. I was an actor and often we had to put our true age and then the age we could play. I always put down 10 years younger as the highest age I could play and most people looking at my form probably thought I was exaggerating, and they would send someone out to tell you which part you were reading for, and they always gave me the roles closer to my real age, and when I walked in the room, they always looked shocked and said i couldn't play that role, and then they would sometimes have me read for that part anyway saying i could read the others later, but most of the time they would send me out without even reading and have me come back in for a much younger role, and I always got the younger roles. My Mom and my grandmother and my great-grandmother always got that. as well. Growing up as a kid most people thought my Mom was my older sister and my Grammy was my Mom. So in our family we really look decades younger than we really are. I suspect many people may look a year or two younger or perceive themselves to be a few years younger, but the vast majority are not like our family. My mom just turned 60 and she looks to be in her 40's. I am 41, and often people think I am early 30's, even late 20's. When I was 29 I went to an age guessing booth, and he told me I was 15. He wouldn't believe I was 29 and I had watched many other people in front of me and he guessed all of them within a few years. It was funny he made me show my drivers license and accused me of having a fake license. And to tell the truth, looking so young wasn't all it was cracked up to be, because many things were a hassle. I did have people card me and do the same thing, think i had a fake licence. I did get hassled about many things, even had a store clerk refuse to sell me cigarettes back when I was a smoker, because he was sure I had a fake ID. I threw a fit, and called the manager and he agreed with the clerk and I had to go elsewhere to buy them. I was 28 at the time and told me I was teenage brat trying to break the law and he was going to call the police if I didn't leave. The clerk called him saying he had a young kid causing a scene trying to buy cigarettes, it was maddening. So that turned into quite the rant! Anyway as for the type of person, I think I have been many of those types at some point in my life. Now I am a mix depending on the situation. I changed a lot after becoming a parent. The one role I have never really viewed myself as was the sane one, until after I had kids. And now I can even fit into that role on occasion. But honestly I am a total mix, I can be the quiet mouse following others or I can be the freak or the peacemaker, and occasionally even the drama queen and I can even sometimes be the one fighting for my beliefs, which only really started happening after I had kids and yes I can be the sane one on occasion. Which one am I the most? Probably the one fighting for my cause, which now tends to revolve around my kids, but I spend a good amount of time as the peacemaker too. I can still be the freak but for the most part I am only rarely the meek mouse, which was probably my primary role when I was younger along with peacemaker. Now I think I tend to be viewed as the strong outspoken type. So depending where we are in our lives and what situation we are in, I suspect many of us play different roles, with one or two primary roles being dominant depending where we are at, but it changes. I also tend to be the long winded one, if you hadn't noticed!