Requesting to Switch Teachers

Most principles say no even if there were valid reasons. If they allowed this to happen they'd do nothing but switch kids around all year.

True. If students were allowed to change, there would be no end. If I were you, I'd home school and then re-enroll him next year.

.... Well, the Teacher was being bluntly, candid.
About the situation, not only per your son, but in her classroom.
As a Mom, well hearing that is awful and sad.
But realistically, there is no way a Teacher can spend, one-on-one time, with any particular student, during the course of a school day.
Unless, for some reason, the class/Teacher has completed a lesson/subject early, and then at these times, a Teacher MAY be able to actually have one on one time, with a student. But also, all the other students may want or need, one on one time with her too.
That is the daily conundrums, of any classroom and Teacher.

Who... would spend or be able to "spend a few minutes helping him get started so he can do the work in minutes..."?
Unless the Teacher has assistants, a Teacher cannot do that.

In 3rd grade as well, the whole ball game changes.
Kids are expected to be more mature and self-reliant and independent.
They are going to be 4th graders. And at 4th and 5th grade... let me tell you, it REALLY changes. And the expectations and the homework load and the work itself. And the complexity.
And, as a grade level, and per school curriculum requirements, the school work and Teacher, has to cover certain things, by a certain time. And the school day only has so many hours to it.

However, SOMETIMES, (at least per my kids' Teachers), they MAY... opt to "let" a student stay in for recesses and lunch... SO that, the Teacher can then spend time, one one one time, with the student, to work on things that the student is falling behind on, etc. But the student, may erroneously view this as "punishment" for not knowing how to do the work. BUT it is not. It is, the Teacher, making time, for the student... by carving out any possible time slot, even if that is 15 minutes during "recess" to help that one, student.
Or, if a Teacher uses lunch time to help another student... then that means, the Teacher also loses, her own lunch and lunch time... and prep time, for the succeeding class periods, and/or relinquishes meeting time, with another Teacher or staff. To help that one kid.
This is actual real life scenarios... per what a Teacher can or cannot do. (and what I have seen, SOME of the Teachers do, at my kids' school).

OR, some Teachers, (not all), will actually... stay LONGER at work, to help another student AFTER school, on their own time. BUT that means, that that Teacher then, cancels any other appointments/meetings/other students need for help... after school, too. To help that one, kid.
BUT that does not mean... that that kid that the Teacher is making extra time for... WILL INDEED... appreciate it or like it or, show improvement in, his/her school work. AND some kids, will NOT even show up... for their "appointment" with the Teacher, so that he/she gets extra help.
This... is actual real life scenarios and outcomes... that I have seen myself. I work at an Elementary school.

OR... you can ALSO, get your son a Tutor.
As needed per whatever subject he needs it for.
And help him at home... as a parent.
You, can "tutor" your child too, at home.
And/or supplement what he is learning with other things.
Kids performance in school, also entails parental help at home too.
Be it with studying or in terms of teaching your kid "organization" skills. Time management. etc.
These things are not taught, in school.
It is taught at home, by the parent.

Not all Teachers are our cup of tea, or our kids' cup of tea.
But that is school.
That is life.
And one day when they are adults and working in an office for a company, they will not get all warm and fuzzy Bosses to their liking.

BUT if the Teacher is hugely, inappropriate and wrong and mean... well that is another issue.
Of which, you speak to the Principal with evidence and documentation.

On another note:
last year one Teacher at the school I work at, had a classroom from HELL.
She is a seasoned Teacher. Good Teacher.
BUT her class... was SO full, of HELLISH kids, of all levels of smartness or not... and is was nearly impossible... to get the kids, all to be like minded and performing like a well oiled machine.
Plus because, so many of the parents, were telling her how they want her... to cater to their kids and their personalities and their "issues" and whatnot. And no human.. can do that nor do it all. In a classroom. Even if that Teacher is Mary Poppins.

At some point.... is ALSO TAKES THE STUDENT... to also, do their part. A Teacher, cannot be wholly responsible for a students imperfections and inability. And they are not Social Workers. Nor are they certified or educated to be, that role. They are Teachers. Not parents and not social workers.
So, during the course of your son's schooling... up to 12th grade... if/when he meets up with a Teacher that is not his cup of tea nor matches his personality type to a T, or if he is not a great student... then what?
Should you change Teachers, each, time?
Or should the Teacher have to change to suit each, of, her, students?
Or, what?
Unless the teacher, is grievously mean to a student.... and bullying to them... then, you need to decide if changing teachers is to your son's benefit.
And if you do change Teachers... WILL your son's academic and behavior performance... improve 100%?

I work at school and what I see is:
Kids... getting that glazed over look and overwhelmed with assignments and not knowing where to start or how to begin... is not always due to a Teacher's, personality or teaching style.
MANY kids, also get like that... because: they lack sleep. They do not eat lunch because they were to busy talking and horsing around at lunch, or they are just not into a lesson because it is "boring" or because their parent does not teach them other skills and perspectives to then, ADD and enhance their skill set for... school. And their abilities.
Well, school is not entertainment. It is learning. And it can be boring, at times. That is school. And that is college life too.
And that is, work life too.
And on and on.
But, depending on how the individual handles it, or copes... then even a boring class, can give the kid, a LOT to learn.

So, if a kid starts playing around and "talking with friends and gets into trouble...." because he can't get started on his school work... then:
Is that his "fault" or the Teachers or his friends... who ALSO are talking and playing around while a lesson is going on????
Because, a kid, at ANY time... CAN speak up and say "stop it" to the other trouble maker kids. Or say "Teacher, I need help. Can you explain that again..." or, "I don't understand, can you repeat the question?"
At 3rd grade and older grades, there is less... hand-holding by the Teacher.

My son is 7 and in 2nd grade (he turned 7 in 2nd grade).
And, if/when the teacher tells me anything about my son and it is a concern... I talk TO my son, and improve it/the situation/his attitude, when need be.
And he knows darn well, what his responsibility is and what his part of the pie, is. In school.
He is a boy. I don't expect a teacher to teach differently to a "boy" versus a "girl." There is no way, a single Teacher in a classroom of some 25 kids, can do that. And MOST all Teachers, are very well aware, of the gender differences in activity levels and behavior, in kids. But a Teacher, cannot teach differently or specifically to one gender over the other. Because, that would be "favoritism" and then the Teacher would get into trouble, over it.

I also know some kids, who got extra help from a Teacher, via lunch or recesses or after school. BUT the kid, would COMPLAIN about that Teacher saying how "mean" she is... making me do "more work."
And then the parent... would erroneously accuse the Teacher, of "targeting" their kid and being "mean" too, and saying that if the teacher was a good teacher, then she would not have to.... spend extra time helping the kids or rather, giving them extra work.
Duh.

So you see, it can be misconstrued, too.
And Teachers, get it from all, sides.

Well you could request a switch but who's to say another teacher will be any better of a fit?
3rd grade is a notoriously hard year, a big transition.
Not only more difficult material and more homework, but more expectations in terms of focus, sitting still, working independently, etc. This can be especially hard for boys.
In a perfect world your son would get a teacher who could "spend a few minutes with him" every day but with 28 students that's just not going to happen very often.
And yes, some teachers are gruff and not very patient. But like you said, your son needs to get used to this.
I think the focus should be working WITH your son on developing strategies now. Reminding him to make thoughtful choices (like not chatting with friends during class/work time.) Hopefully the teacher will have some good ideas you can discuss at the parent teacher conference to help him succeed.
Because honestly, unless there's an extreme reason, they probably won't switch him to another class.

I had a friend who changed in the middle of the year. I think she had to throw a big fit because I've never seen them let anybody move their child but her. It may be much harder than you think.

We've all had good teachers and bad, just like doctors. We've just sucked it up and moved on. When they get in middle school they will have several teachers at a time. There will be many kinds of teachers in a year.

You need to consider SH's answer. Your child has issues he needs to change, right now, for the sake of the rest of his schooling. Finding the key to change that behavior would benefit him greater than changing teachers.

in our school.. they do not allow kids to change teachers in the middle of the year.. it isn't done.. I know that if they allowed such things.. parents would be asking for switches all the time ...

I think you have to work with the teacher and if you cannot make any progress with the teacher then the principal.. but your son ahs to learn to deal with all sorts of people.. loving kind teachers.. and not so kind teachers..

sadly, until the public education system gets overhauled, there will be fewer and fewer wonderful teachers. i'm surprised we still have has many hanging in there as we do. not enough money, high-needs children and parents who have insanely unrealistic expectations (that's a general statement, not directed at you, J.!) have created a perfect storm of unsustainability.
you probably cannot get a situation where the teacher can consistently spend a few minutes one-on-one with your son, however compassionate and sensitive she might be.
you can try to move him. i'd be surprised if you're successful. my younger son had a 2nd grade teacher who was about 6 years past the point she should have retired. she was bitter, burnt-out and clearly over the whole kid thing. after unsuccessfully conferencing with her i made some progress by sitting down with her AND the principal- we got his desk moved to the front so he could hear better- but other than that we just dealt with her.
good luck!
khairete
S.

I actually did make a request like that and that didn't happen. After a lot of hard thinking I actually made a request to change schools in the district. It was hard because I would take him away from familiar friends.They did do that, (changed his school) and my son had a wonderful teacher, then got a horrible one the next year. And the wonderful one had been changed a grade also. To his grade! But they wouldn't put him in it that time. He had good teachers and bad, but sadly I think the attitude of the first one was the one that set a bad path.
Sadly, yes there are many wonderful teachers, but some do seem to pick on kids, I have seen it. Wondering why at times? Do they remind them of someone else? Does the child look like their brother they fought with? At any rate I am fully behind doing whatever is best for your child and I also believe however not to bad mouth the teachers in front of the child, I think that eggs them on. Good luck. Such a hard decision.

We cannot switch. The decision is always made for us. And that's it.
Depends on the school maybe??

It is extremely difficult in our school district to switch teachers mid-way through the school year. First off that usually means they have to switch another student to the classroom you child will be leaving because of the classroom size. You can't just switch one student a lot of times. Also, how do you know that it is truly the teacher problem and switching is going to work. He has many many more years of school ahead of him and not all of his teachers are going to mesh well with him. Are you going to switch teachers every time her teaching style doesn't completely mix well with his learning style. I appreciate that my daughter's teacher asks for ways to help guide my child and wants to know what her learning style is but let's face it - there are 23 other kids in her classroom. I can't expect my child's teacher to only focus her teaching techniques based on my (one) child. It isn't reasonable. In second grade my daughter is expected to have some initiative and be a self-starter. It is actually a skill set they are trying to teach because they need to understand how to be a problem solver and at least try to figure out how to do something on their own.

Have you discussed after/before school tutoring where he will get the individual attention he sometimes needs? Have you considered maybe an outside the school (no affiliated with) tutoring program? Have you contacted the school counselor. They can serve as an observer in the classroom and can maybe get more insight for you. My daughter get super frustrated with some of her work and when it comes home and we see lower grades we take the time to reinforce what she is learning and review it. How are his grades? If the work coming home reflecting a child having difficulty. If it is then I would focus on individual one on one study, I would probably enroll him in a program that help teach study techniques. If he can't at least try to start a project on his own he will need to eventually learn or he will continually have problems.

When you go in for your conference, ask the teacher if there is a particular student that she can sit your child next to who may be able and willing to help him get started when he's feeling overwhelmed.

My GD is very helpful and she loves to help her fellow classmates when they need it. The teacher encourages students to help each other. Not only does the student receiving the help get help, but it also reaffirms the lessons for my GD and helps to form friendship bonds. It's win-win.

Hi J.!
It may take awhile but I requested a new teacher when my youngest was in the 3rd grade and now she's in 8th grade and doing well!
I think it took about 2 months but well worth the effort and wait. Don't wait and don't take other's advice personally. You know deep down inside what is best for your child! Go with your gut feeling!
Good luck!

Well, I think that the first step is the conference with the teacher. Please approach this with the attitude that you are on the same team and how can you work with her to get your son to excel academically.

Please know that your expectations about one-on-one time with your son may not be reasonable. Please consider what the teacher said about having 27 other children in the class. If she had to spend "a couple of minutes" with each student for each assignment, she would never have enough time to cover all of the material. She is being honest with you about the limitations of the class structure. Third grade is hard...they are very much encouraging more independence in work assignments.

Schools are very much about ratios and they try to keep the class numbers at about the same for each class in each grade. How do you know if a class switch will be any better? He may still be in a class with 27 other students. Please go in the meeting with an open mind and she what the teacher says. She may give you more tips to motivate him. In the unlikely event that the teacher seems completely unwilling to work with him, then go to the Principal and ask for help.

If he is not doing his work or staying focused that is a problem with your child, not the teacher. Can you volunteer in the classroom a little each day so you can work with him and observe him more? I do think it is important to learn to work with different kinds of people, even in 3rd grade, but if you do decide to change teachers just realize that he will just be moved into another large class where the teacher still will not have time to hold his hand through his class work. This is a common adjustment, and 4th and 5th can get even worse because kids are simply not coddled in the same way they are in 1st and 2nd. Best of luck with whatever you decide.

It doesn't sound at all to me like a teacher problem or a personality conflict. I doubt that if you submitted a request to move your son out of that class, it would be accepted but instead it would be turned down as being unjustified. A child being disciplined for his behaviors is not "being yelled at" by his teacher. If that's how your son is taking it, well, that's the word of a 3rd grader who dislikes his teacher for disciplining him after a year of having a teacher that didn't bother with discipline.

Have you considered requesting an evaluation for your son? Especially considering his behaviors which are NOT typical? Changing the teacher isn't the answer but getting your son help is. He may very well need a 504 plan or an IEP. A little support an encouragement may not necessarily be the issues here, especially since he clearly gets plenty at home. The fix may not be what you think it is ie. a bandaid of shuffling him around in order to give him a teacher that you think "understands little boys" which is really code for "ignores what I think is boys will be boys behavior and she thinks is out of control behavior and I don't like it that my child is upset over being disciplined." The core problem will still be there. Behavioral issues could very well be out of his control and I think he would benefit from a neurological-psychological evaluation both by the school and from an independent specialist.

Have a talk with the teacher and your son. Help him to figure out what to do when he gets overwhelmed (my daughter had the same issue). You just have to tell them OVER and OVER how to handle it. We always told her to start with something she DID know. You might find out from the teacher what she suggests a child do when they don't understand something.

You also need to let the teacher know the best way to handle your son. Yes, she has a lot of kids in her class, but she should be able to handle each one slightly differently. I know that some kids you can put pressure on, others you can't. Depends on the child.

Good luck!

We moved our daughter in 3rd grade - her teacher was horrible and we worked until February before we moved her. He is still horrible and I've gone to the Superintendent about him several times.

I say you do what makes the most sense for you.

Our son is now in 3rd and he has the teacher our daughter finished the year with - so far, so good. It also helps that she is young and went to school with my younger siblings - so they know her really well.