Regression in Potty Training - Lenexa,KS

Updated on August 08, 2006
L.H. asks from Lenexa, KS
23 answers

About 2 1/2 weeks ago we began potty training with super results. After 2 days she was wearing the pretty panties she picked out with no accidents for nearly 2 weeks. The last 3 days she has had many accidents. Although I don't think they were accidents. I think she is intentionally doing it. She has made more mistakes in the last 3 days than when we were actually potty training. She has peed on pillows, suede chairs, her carpet multiple times and doesn't try to get to the bathroom, which is why I think its intentional. I am tired of the clean up. Is this normal or is it something else? Any advice or thoughts...thanks!

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S.S.

answers from Wichita on

My opinion it would be that when you were starting potty training everyone was paying attention to her and it was so much fun. Now the excitement is over and she still wants the attention, Try doing somewhat of a small rewards system to start back up whether it be sticker, a small amount of money or candy whatever motivates her.

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L.

answers from Kansas City on

My girl was the same way...We put her in pull-ups, which were a hit for about a day, then she wanted her big girl panties back. She didnt get them until she was using the toilet for every pee (took about a week). Following that, she had some accidents overnight, but not for long. One thing we did was have her potty right before bath every night, and first thing in the morning before anything else. Definate times like that seemed to help and reinforce. We also have a boy 2 years younger, and that might be a factor of regression, for attention, ya know?
Good luck!

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S.M.

answers from Enid on

My son doesa the same thing, and he has been potty trained for several months. For us there are a few issues behind this: jealousy of the younger sibling getting attention, unwillingness to stop playing before its too late, and plain old toddler defiance. A general rule for toddlers seems to be if you want them to do it, they will do everything else and laugh about it.

I would say try to keep a small notebook with her accidents listed, along with her mood, her sibling's mood, and anything that was going on at the time. Maybe when she gets over tired this happens, or maybe she wants to do something but can't. There could be several easons behind this, even as simple as she wants to see what reaction she will get out of you. May times kids act out as a sort of test, to see if you will still love them no matter how they act.

Of course, you also have to take intoa ccount that she has only been trained a couple weeks now. Just like any other new thing (feeding herself, dressing herself, etc...0 there will be backslides as she works towards really mastering her knew skill.

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J.T.

answers from Oklahoma City on

I understand what your going through but the one thing I learned when I was potty training my daughter is not to push her. You might also see about putting her into preschool and seeing if being in school around other kids that go potty on their own might help her go potty all of the time. I did that with my daughter and she was completely potty trained within 2 months other than night wettings.

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T.W.

answers from St. Louis on

Hi L.! Don't worry what you're going through is completely normal. While it may seem like she is doing it intentionally chances are it's not that she's trying to get you mad but more she wants control over the situation. Alot of kids I've known have gone through a similar stage and it may be because they're feeling overwhelmed with the potty training or a major event have taken place. Have there been any big changes: new daycare or preschool, a vacation, little brother making doing something new that's been taking your attention, even something as silly as almost falling in the potty, etc. My advice would be put her back in Pullup's for a little while and try again. One thing to keep in mind is to not make the whole experience negative so don't tell her she's going back to "baby diapers." Tell her something more like mommy understands using the potty isn't easy so we'll try again later and go back to Pullup's for right now. One of two things will happen either a)she'll say OK in which case she's not completely ready to use the potty or b)she'll put up a fight and will probably try harder. Just keep in mind ultimately she wants to please you. Can you tell I've done quite a bit of study into this. :) Good luck! And hang in there!

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A.

answers from St. Louis on

Same thing happened to me with my daughter and tured out she had a bladder infection and could tell when she had to go. gave her med and all was well again

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C.D.

answers from Bloomington on

Your daughter seems kind of young for potty training, although I hear that girls train easier and younger than boys ( I have three boys, and they were not trained before 3- 1/2).
Your daughter could be trying to tell you she wants to hang onto her babyhood for a while longer.

If you are certain she is ready, I would recommend a book called How to toliet train in less than 24 hours. It gives some very useful tips. One that I recall is that when the child has an accident, to stop what you are doing, and gently take the child to the bathroom from every room in the house. So if she has the accident in the family room, you take her from the family room to the bathroom, then from the kitchen to the bathroom, then from her bedroom to the bathroom, etc. Each time while saying " now we are in the kitchen, how do we get to the bathroom" and leading her there. The exercise is tedious but effective.
Good luck. Toliet training is a process and does not happen overnight (dispite the title of this book!)

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E.T.

answers from St. Louis on

Hi L.,

I totally understand your frustration! I don't know if you used a book or anything in potty training your daughter but I know with my two sons we used a book called Toilet Training in Less Than A Day. It's kind of an older book but we went by the basic principles of it. The main thing that did work are the practice sessions when the child has an accident. What you do is as soon as they pee you say, you had an accident, now it's time to practice and you run them from the different places in the house to the bathroom/potty chair and have them practice getting to it in time. They sit down stand up and run to a different place in the house as you guide them. It sounds really mean but the whole time you use a really positive voice and say, come on we have to practice! You're supposed to do about 10 runs but we would maybe do a little less and then at the end you talk to them about how big boys/girls go potty in the potty not in their pants. Again, I know this sounds kind of cheesy and mean but it worked really well with both of my sons and it only took a handful of sessions to get them to stop having accidents. I hope this advice might help somewhat. I know Dr. Phil's website has similar principles to use for this. Good Luck!
E. T.

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B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

we have the same issue going on, It is like when he wants to no have an accident in Thomas the Train we dont, but then other times, he could care less. He is 2 1/2
Let me know if you find a source of help =)
Our daughter that is now 9 just decided one day no more diapers, the sitter said she is to young to potty train, well I just did not send any more diapers to the sitter, after all she had not had any accidents in 3 days. The sitter had to say she was wrong, Because looking back I think total maybe 10 accidents, well now I know that is not how it happens normally =)

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P.B.

answers from Kansas City on

Hello. I had almost the same thing happen to me. And there were no big changes in our situation or living that I could come up with that caused it. I talked to the doctor about it and she told me to back off with it for awhile.I put my daughter back in diapers and backed off for 3 months until she was just over 3 yrs old. The second time around she took to it right away. She still needs to be reminded to go to the potty on occasion because she gets busy and forgets. But I honestly just don't think she was ready for it the first time I tried it. Good luck.

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J.

answers from Topeka on

Who is getting more attention?
Did you take it for granted she is trained? Is she getting lots of hugs & kisses for good behaviour?
3 year old girl or baby boy?
Does she hear you call your boy "my baby?"
Maybe she wants to stay your baby?

http://www.fox.com/nanny911/

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L.A.

answers from Kansas City on

The best advice I ever got about potty training was from my pede, who said, "You can start at 24 months and be done at 36 months, or you can start at 36 months and be done by 37 months." I had "Naked Day" the day after both my girls turned 3, and the oldest was done in a day (including dry at night) and the younger was done in 3 days. You daughter just may not be ready.

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J.T.

answers from Kansas City on

I think it is very common for them to regress. My son did it a couple times, and yes, it did seem intentional. Make sure you don't give too much attention to the behavior. Just clean up and don't even acknowledge it. Sometimes the more you talk about it the more compelled they are to do it. Also, my son got special treats before bed on the days he went accident free.

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B.S.

answers from St. Louis on

L., my now almost 5 year old daughter went through several set backs. We would go through spurts of her having accidents and then I think she just grew out of it. (Although she didn't do it on purpose I don't think). I am not sure what your initial persuading tool was when you first started, but maybe your daughter doesn't feel she is getting all the attention anymore now that she learned so quickly? My daughter would just be so engrossed in her activity that she would wait till the last minute to go. When she did have accidents I would revert back to sitting her on the potty once an hour, regardless if she had to go or not.
Good Luck!

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K.S.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Welcome to the Honeymoon Period!! I've PT'd 3 children and every single one went through it. To put it in simple terms, she's testing you. Stand your ground. Be firm and don't let her think that she can just go back to diapers/pull ups. If you stand up to her tests, she'll go back to herself very soon. Usually it's just a few days!

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J.M.

answers from St. Louis on

My daughter did something similar, so we went back to the pull-ups. I just told her that she couldn't ruin all of her "Pretty panties", and that until she started using the bathroom again, she would have to wear diapers. It didn't take long before she was back to using the toilet.

The best advice that my Mom gave me was that when she is ready, she will do it. She was right!

Good luck!

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D.T.

answers from Wichita on

There are multiple reasons that a child can regress in potty training, anything from pushing them to hard or to earlier than they are ready (trust me having been a Child Care Teacher for 2 yr olds (older 2 yr olds potty training) and a Nanny for 5 yrs where I had to potty train 3 children, I am all for potty training the earlier the better....i.e. not waiting until their about to enter Kindergarten to do it), something could be bothering her. I suggest going back to asking her every 30 to 60 minutes if she has to go, even if she says no insist that she sit on the potty for a few minutes. Praise her when she does go and do not make a huge deal (or belittling her or punishing her) when she does have an accident, just remind her where peepee and poopy go (I will ask my son when he has an accident, that way we are gently reminding him and making him remember on his own). I also tell my son accidents happen, clean up his mess and say I am sure next time he will make it to the potty. She could also be testing you.

~Desiree

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M.H.

answers from Tulsa on

L.,

I had the EXACT same thing happen with my daughter. I might be able to help!!!

We potty trained her @ 2 and she instantly got it! No accidents, was perfect, I thought I had given birth to the golden child. She was in panties and about 3-4 months later she would look at me and say "I have to go "pee-pee", I would say "well go, why are you telling me", and she would respond "I am" and just pee down her leg. She had quite a few other weird accidents where she was just intentionally urinating on herself.

I took her to the pediatrician and he said "you don't care". I said "oh yes I do, she WAS perfectly potty trained", he said "you don't care, just put a pull up on her and don't make a big deal when she has an accident." I thought he was CRAZY!! Turns out he was a genious!!!!! (5 kids of his own)

I did what he said and she instantly was potty trained again with NO accidents. What I found out was that when she was first being potty trained we had a party everytime she went to the bathroom, I mean a big-ol yahoo for you. Then that eventually wore off as she got the hang of it. She found out she gained NEGATIVE ATTENTION again from the accidents. When I took away the NEGATIVE ATTENTION she decided being dirty wasn't that great of a deal and when back to her golden child ways!!!

Good Luck!!
M. H.

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J.E.

answers from Oklahoma City on

When my daughter started regressing after having been totally potty trained for over a month, I gave her incentive to recommit... she wants to got to "school" (head start) but she will have to be totally potty trained. I wasn't demeaning in telling her, just told her, "You'll have to start using the potty again if you want to go to school." I also started asking her if she needed to go to the potty once an hour, just like when she was being potty trained. And reinforce positive behaviour. When she goes when you've asked her, positive reinforcement. When she starts going again of her own accord, positive reinforcement. Do this for other positive behaviours you expect of her, also. Try to give her at least 5 minutes of one on one play time where you are reinforcing her with compliments about the way she is playing without any criticism or direction. She might be enjoying the attention she is getting from doing the wrong thing. Try not to engage in a power struggle with her, try more to lead her in the right direction.

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M.

answers from St. Louis on

L. H,
Hi, my son who is about the same age was doing great for about the same amount of time. Then he got really sick and he stopped going in the toilet for about 3 months. We are now still training him, he is doing better, but he still has accidents. I am just wandering, do you think she could be getting sick? Also, it isn't unusual that she is regressing, she is just going through a phase. It is frustrating, but it almost always takes longer than 3 weeks to train, as I have told you about my son. I also have nieces and nephews who go through going all the time to having some accidents and they are 4 1/2, and 3.
Good luck,
M., mother of two boys: 3 and a 1 1/2 year old.

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F.M.

answers from Kansas City on

Hi L.,

I have a funny story about my girls. My oldest daughter did the same thing except; she had just turned two. Now, she was very advanced at everything... walking at 9 1/2 mnths, putting puzzles together all of that... but she would go to the kitchen and squat under the kitchen table to go to the bathroom. This is after we would sit on the potty to go. It was all a test. I had a newborn at that time; which I feel she still wanted to be in the diapers like her sister. When I look back on it, I laugh... I still remember her little face under the table and me jumping up to stop her. It was a game to her. At any rate, finally, after a week or so of that; I finally looked at her and said, " Do you see these diapers? She said yes, I said once those are gone you can't potty in your pants, on the floor, and so on.. just the big girl potty" That was all she wrote. I think she just wanted some special attention or something. It was really funny.
Gosh, I really miss those days!

F.

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C.W.

answers from Kansas City on

I would check with the doctor about a possible urinary track infection.she could just be rebelling but my daughter had a UTI a while back and was having alot of accidents that I thought were intentional until she told me her potty hurt.When I took her in and found out she had a UTI,I asked how she could've got it.The doc said little girls can get it from leaving a bathing suit on to long or even bubble baths.He also let me know that some little girls are so sensitive to getting them that they may not be able to have a bath without getting it from sitting in the same water as thier shampoo and body wash.I wish you the best,C.

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T.O.

answers from Kansas City on

My oldest daughter did the same thing. I know how frustrating it is for you, for us it just took time. She was about 4yrs before she was completely potty trained and that was partly because she wanted to go to preschool and couldn't until potty trained. I wouldn't recommend going back to pull ups for us that just seemed to prolong the training.

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