Regression and Separation

I am not there yet with potty training trouble, but one thing i can think of that you can try is positive reinforcement when he does not make an accident in his pants. so that way he begins to associate going to the potty in the toilet and not making a mess with good feelings that he wants to recreate each time. and as he does better and better use verbal rewards "good job", "i'm so proud of you" etc. so that the positive reinforcement continues but you are not crossing the "bribing" line. this may not help at all, but good luck!

I think that you are doing the right thing by staying for a period of time. I would suggest beginning to shorten the time gradually so that little by little you will be backing out of the situation. Discuss the cryiny with your son and see if he can tell you why he is crying. Many times children are left out of the discussion because we think that they do not know but I have been smazed at the answers that I have gotten ffrom children. Ask why and then talkwith him about staying for a little while if he needs you to and then you ahve to leave because you have "mommy work" that must get done.

For the urination problem (and they all regress some) I would explain that only babies potty in their pants. If he wants to be a baby then he will have to wear diapers and not be allowed to do "big boy" things. Buy some diapers and then put him back in them and every time there is an "accident" he loses a big boy toy and a big boy privelage. Every time he uses the toilet instead of his diaper he gets a "big boy" toy back. Keep a reward chart for him so he can see the frowning and smiling faces.

As for pre-school. Take him there, give him a hug and a kiss, tell him you will see him later, and walk out the door. If you don't make a big deal out of it he will stop crying and get into the program with the other children and care-providers.

With pottying: here's the new rule: POTTY FIRST. Anytime he wants to do something different, POTTY FIRST. He's been coloring, and wants to watch a video; or he's been watching a video and now wants to go outside; or he's been playing and suddenly wants a drink...POTTY FIRST. Kids that age (and even still with my 5 year old admitted this) just don't want to take the time to go potty - they're having too much fun doing other stuff and don't want to take the time to go potty. Pottying isn't fun. Also - be sure to keep an eye to the clock. If it's been 20-30 minutes and he hasn't gone potty, TIME TO GO POTTY.

With the separation....what's worked for us with our daughters is to draw (in pen) a heart on the hand, and kiss it. That way whenever he misses you or thinks about you, all he has to do is look at his hand and kiss it or remember that you kissed it before you left.

For what it's worth, and good luck!

A quick question about the school thing-----if he's good after you leave, why are you staying? All kids do this to an extent, just drop him off and go. He'll be good AFTER you leave. As for the regression in potty training, ignore the "accidents" as much as possible, don't fuss about it or express disapproval, just have him do all the clean-up with you guiding him as to what needs done---"you need to put on clean pants, you need to wipe up this puddle, you need to put your wet pants in this pail, etc." If you are calm and quiet but firm, he will get tired of all the extra work, and start going in the potty again. He is getting alot of attention for this problem, and that's his goal. The less fuss you make, the sooner he'll stop. And don't forget to praise, praise, praise for anytime he uses the potty! The magic formula for a happy, cooperative child is simple--- minimal response to the negative, maximum response to the positive! Good luck!

does he have to be in preschool? maybe he needs more time with mom...

after a lot of accidents and struggle, i finally just put my son back in diapers and said he could wear underwear when he could keep the diapers dry. pretty soon he decided he was too big for diapers and took charge on his own. he's been dry ever since!

This is for the potty training -(the other I think is just the age) take him to the store and let him pick out his own underwear. make it fun. Just let him know that whe he wears them theat it's important for him to take care of them until he takes them off, then you take care of them.

Hi,

I'm not sure that the pre-school and regression are un-related. He could have been hearing talk of the upcoming pre-school and started having more accidents then...

you could try getting him some underwear with characters on it (Spiderman, Ninja Turtles, whatever). Then tell him, "You know, Spiderman doesn't like to be wet--let's see how long you can keep him dry".

Let him use "Tinkle Targets" when peeing in the toilet. We bought some ( a long time ago--my boys are teens now), I think at Toys R Us but you could make some out of toilet paper by stamping a picture on it. Or I heard of a family that uses cheerios for this purpose--lol! Maybe the idea of peeing at the target would be a fun enough game to get him to pee in the toilet? I don't know for sure but you could try it.

Good luck!

K. Z.