I have a 5 month old baby boy... I am not a new mom I have a 5 year old... and I know the cry out method... but my son is I guess what you say "spoiled to me"... this was no fault of myself... but since we brought him home from the hospital he has to be with me at all times... if I leave the house he goes with me... my husband works from home and it I am a stay at home mom... it is nice to have the help with my 5 year old but when it comes to my son nothing will do... I can't even go to a drs appt without him... he could be asleep and literally 2 mins after I close the door he wakes up and screams and cries... and when I walk threw the door he starts to calm down but wont start crying until I hold him... he will only lay on the floor and play with his toys by himself for like 10 mins and then cries and cries unless I pick him up... his dad can't even do anything to make him happy... I can't even just leave the room to go into another room without him flipping out and crying... I have been trying to break him and let him cry but it isn't working... I have been doing it for almost 2 weeks now... I don't know what to do... I want a mommy break... I need some me time... has anyone had issues like this... does anyone have any ideas on what I can do???
My first was like this. Gamma g has it right. Time for daddy to step up. It's time for the two of them to bond.
Leave him with your husband and go out. Or have your husband take him out for a while. Yes he might cry, but he will be safe and cared for by his father, and nothing will happen to him. Just do it.
You need to sit down with hubby and have a talk. Tell him you need help doing this. This baby needs to bond with daddy too. So ask him if he's up to taking some time and totally give his attention to the baby. That you need to leave the house for an hour or two. Then he's going to have to deal with baby completely. He needs to be comfortable with all that a screaming crying puking baby will do.
Sometimes you just have to leave.
My first was like that, very attached to me, breastfed and never took a paci. There were times I just had to go. I would go to the grocery store, or on a walk, after my husband got home from work. Did my husband love being home with a crying baby for an hour? No, of course not, but he knew if I didn't take a break sometimes I would snap.
It won't last forever, and your baby won't be scarred for life. TAKE A BREAK and don't feel bad about it!!!
My niece was like that at first. So, I would watch her so my sister could take a sanity break. I would put a shirt that my sister had worn over my shirt and hold my niece. That seemed to help. But, when she did cry, we just had to let her cry it out.
2 weeks isn't a long time for a baby to "adjust." I know it seems long to you because you haven't really had a break. Good luck!
Have you tried putting a piece of clothing that you have worn in the crib with him? Babies are very sensory, try adding 'bits of you' to his environment when you are not with him, like the way you smell or sound.
I wonder.... if you record yourself/or the house "noises" while you are home.... for say 1/2 hour or so... and then, play that when you leave or leave the house, your baby will 'think' its you, still home? And just keep replaying it etc. when you are not home.
Worth a try.
And yes, leave something with your smell on it... ie: a t-shirt or something.
Of course, w/a baby that young, it can pose a suffocating issue.
Hope, your Husband, knows those things too????
Or, use "white noise" in the room... if/when he is napping or sleeping.
I did that with both my kids when they were babies, and it helped a ton.
I just put on a fan on low... in the room. And it helped.
And, your Husband just HAS TO HELP out for crying out loud.
A Wife... NEEDS A BREAK.
My firstborn was similar to your baby.
But I still did stuff.
My Husband, would pitch in.
But my firstborn also had lots of gas issues/pains.
And it was ME... that she cried out to. Because I am Mommy. And they are just a baby and bonded w/you.
So we gave her infant Mylicon drops, and that helped a ton.
Also, just try practicing... NOT having baby on, you all the time and not carrying him all the time if it can be helped.
ie: When you are sitting down or something, just place baby next to you on the floor on a mat. And let him be there. Adjacent to you. Not ON you etc.
And use your voice to 'soothe' him.
Gradually, hopefully... baby will then get used to that and still feel not 'abandoned.'
Or, try practicing 'peek a boo' with him.
"Object Permanence" starts at about this time too.
And he is also approaching a growth-spurt period. 6 months.
And teething also starts about that time too.
And 'separation anxiety' starts at about that time too.
So many things, going on at the SAME time.
It sounds like you both have some seriously severe separation anxiety. I don't think two weeks or a month of ignoring him when he's distressed is going to fix things. My suggestion is to consult with a child psychiatrist.
Sounds like you have a high needs baby. Here's a good site describing this:
http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/health-concerns/fussy-ba...
Unfortunately, there isn't much you can do right now. Having one myself, I can tell you it does get better with time and as baby can entertain himself more, or better express his demands. I will say that my high need/colicky baby is now 7 years old, and is very social, intelligent, and sensitive. Apparently, all that holding you have to do now is very nurturing to the developing brain. :)
I know that doesn't help you right this minute, but know it will soon pass. The best thing you can do is take a break for yourself. He will cry, sure, but like my pediatrician said when I was going through this same thing- No baby has ever died from crying. Sometimes you have to take a break or risk your sanity. :)
