Ready to Potty Train but Not Walking Yet!

Hi H., you have already received some good advice. My experience is that you can start with getting them familiar with the potty concept well before they walk. I bought a Baby Bjorn little potty when my daughter was 6m old because she was VERY obvious when she needed to poop and always peed about 5 sedonds after I took her diaper off to change it. I began when she was able to sit on her own. I would sit her on the potty (on the floor on a towel next to the changing table) after every diaper change and she would actually pee about half the time. I knew it was just because she would be peeing if still on the table, but it at least got her familiar with the concept of sitting on a potty. Now at 9m old she regularly poops in the potty before her nap (I went almost 2 weeks once without having to change a poopy diaper) and gets excited when she pees in it. I clap and sing the "yay! peed/pooped in the potty!" song if she goes, and if she doesn't I just pick her up and put on her diaper. I'm also using the sign for potty so she can learn to let me know before she can talk. We also use cloth diapers at home (but Im lazy and use disposables when out and about). I'm hoping this all will help her potty train easier when she is able to recognize her need to go and more easily communicate it to me. Good luck with whatever you decide to do...but I say give it a shot now!

Right now I only do this at home. I don't worry about it when she's at grandmas or at the sitters (1 day a week). My best friend who watches my daughter also does it too when watching her here at home. As she gets older I will start being more consistant with taking her between diaper changes and when not at home. Right now it's not for "training" per se, just to get her used to the potty so training later will be easier. Oh yeah, and not changing poopy diapers is a big benefit!

I pottied both of my girls starting at birth - well before they could walk. I highly recommend that you read the book "The Diaper Free Baby" by Christine Gross-Loh since it highlights how to start the "Elimination Communication" method with young toddlers (whether walking or not!) and highlights how to use the method part-time or occasionally. You don't have to do it full-time or ditch diapers completely until/unless you're ready to.

My older daughter was completely out of diapers by 13/14 months old and I never coerced her at all :) My younger has just started signing "toilet" in ASL and is well on her way to being diaper-free as well!

Best wishes!
~B.

You say that her walker toy goes to fast. We had the same problem. My sons P.T. suggested tying a 5 pound bag of rice to the bottom of it to help it go slower.

Are her doctors concerned with her not walking yet? Perhaps you can get them to recommend some kind of Physical Therapy of sorts to help her along. Then you should be able to potty train to your heart's content. It sounds like she is raring to go! Can she crawl to the potty? Perhaps you can get her a potty chair rather than a seat insert and she can crawl to the bathroom to use it? That might be one way to get her going into the bathroom by herself. Then at least you could help her get onto it and she wouldn't be so high up. Perhaps getting one would be an enticement for getting her to walk...if she gets to walk to her very own toilet! Good luck!

In China they have a child potty trained by 6 months. If you can get her to tell you before she has to go so you can get her to the potty at least you can get her there and put her on it. Before my son was ready, I got a potty chair his size, he could crawl up to it pull off his diaper and sit on it as it was his size.He also like that when he went it played the potty song.
He had constapation problems, he had a really hard stool that hurt him when he was about a year old so he started to hold it, then he could, or wouldn't go. I never though we would get rid of the pail in the bath tub with soaking underware. So when he did go , we did the potty dance. He is 5 and we still are doing the potty dance. He held it for so long, that the muscules in his little behind didn't know how to release it. He just has been pooping in the tolet for about 6 months.
Good Luck, It's a blessing when they want to go on their own.

I have been looking at a book from the library called diaper free before three and some other potty learning books. In one of the books it was saying its something to prepare for all along the way, so even if your not ready to take her diapers away completely you can be getting her farmiliar with the process and letting her sit on the potty regularly. I think the only reason a kid would be traumatized by potty training to early/not ready is if the parent was demanding or otherwise not very nice about it. The potty training in a day book helped me realize the only way to effectivly have her using the potty is over the top enthusiasm and positive reinforcement but not discipline. So in conclusion if I were in your situation I would probably start the process but have no expectations and know that it might be a long but stress free process. Good luck!

Hello.
I'm not so sure she is showing signs she wants to potty train. I think all kids go through what you have described. My son did that same kind of stuff when he was younger but he wasn't potty trained till he was 3 yrs old. I wouldn't too much worry about it. I think she's more just playing with the stuff than trying to potty train.
I would call her pediatrician and she if she needs to be evaluated for the not walking. Some times kids don't have the muscle tone needed. Also, they could give you advice on things to do to help her.
Good luck.

Just wanted to say that my son didn't start walking until he was 16mos. So I wouldn't worry to much about the walking part of it. However, I was just at babies r us and saw this type of harness called walking wings. Basically the harness fits around the child and you hang on to the straps(wings) which would help support the child. I was thinking that this might work good for you because you can hold on type in the beginning and then loosen up the as she starts to get control better and she would even know. I think of it as when your learning to ride a bike. You always think that your parent is still hanging onto the seat and then after a little while you realize that you they have let go and you are doing it all on yourself. As for potty training... I have twin boys that are 27mos and there not potty trained yet so I can't help you there. Good Luck.

Walking is not necessary. I have been pottying my baby since she was born. She is 7 months and will be in training pants with only 2 partial pee misses in 48 hours. Look up elimination communication if she is not able to talk to you. Mine communicates to me when she needs to go. She has also crawled to the potty.

Best

I'm not sure what your reasoning is about not potty training before walking. But, it's not all that bad. I'd do the potty training when she wants to, to prevent problems later on.

My mom told me that she was potty training my sister when I was 13 months old, and that I actually potty trained myself. She said I did it all crawling, (with a small potty-pot, of course.) I also didn't walk until I was almost 2.

Just 2 cents worth.

H.,

Here are some other considerations as to know when a child is ready to potty train. I took these excerpts from this great book on the subject called "Toilet Training in Less Than a Day." And I would say that I think it will be more of a hassle for you to train her when she can't walk, but that is your decision of course.

Bladder Control: Do you notice that she urinates a good deal at one time rather than dribbling throughout the day? Does she stay dry for several hours? Does she appear to know when she is about to urinate as indicated by facial expressions or by specific postures she adopts? If yes to all three than she is aware of her bladder sensations and is ready to begin training. If she does the first two, she may still be ready for training, since not all children give this visible indication of their desire to urinate.

Physical Readiness: Does she have enough finger and hand coordination to pick up objects easily? Does she walk from room to room easily and without the need for assistance? If she does, she is sufficiently developed physically.

Instructional Readiness: To determine if your child has sufficient social responsiveness and understanding, ask her to carry out the following ten actions: Ask her to show you (point to) 1) her nose, 2) her eyes, 3) her mouth, 4) her hair. Ask her 5) to sit down on a chair, 6) to stand up, 7) to walk with you to a particular place, such as another room, 8) to imitate you in a simple task, such as playing patty-cake, 9) to bring you a familiar object, such as one of her toys, 10) to place one familiar object with another-for example, "Put the dolly in the wagon." If she carries out eight of these ten instructions, she should be considered intellectually ready for training.

If She Does Not Pass the Readiness Tests:
Most children over 20 months of age seem to be able to pass all of three of these tests. If your child does not pass the test for Bladder Control or Physical Development, you should wait until she has developed more coordination and more bladder control. Initial bladder control and physical coordination are very much a matter of simple maturation.

(There is some more about if she doesn't pass the instructional readiness test too if you want me to give you that information, let me know.)

Anyway, these guys did a lot of research on the subject and I think the key here is that if you want her to learn quickly and not have relapses that it is wise to wait until she is completely ready. My son is almost 3 and we still haven't started yet. He is pretty much ready now, but we are waiting until after his birthday for logistical reasons here at home.

Good luck to you! I highly recommend buying the book. My mom used it when she trained my brother and I and said we were both trained in one day without any regression or problems afterward.

Blessings,

H. C.

Hi H., I have two girls and they are older now but they didn't want to crawl or walk but as soon we start having friend their age and having play groups of kids their own age one they they surprise me doing all those things by themself. I think they need to see other kids and the desired of playing with others. Then when I saw that I used to placed their favorite toy a little far away so they can make the effor of walking on their own. At first I pretended that I was not paying attention and try to observe what they did to try to get the specific toy. Ofcourse I was always there to make sure that they were not going to fall or something. Yes my kids walk late too. I think they know that there is people around to give then what they want and do not make the effort. After they walk and they were ready por potty train. I did the potty train in three days. My daughter wanted this beautiful panties to wear and she was still in diapers and I've told her, only big girls that go patty on their own wear those. Well that was it. On a Monday I had her with out bottons and walking and playing and sitting in the potty and missing it at times. The next day, I did the same in the morning and it got better in the missing the potty at a time so on the afternon I put her on the panties she wanted. We had a few accidents even the next day, but everytime was less and less. By the afternoon of the third day she pull her panties on her own and went on her own number one and number two. Since you are a stay home mom like I did you can do this. Be ready to clean a lot and do not get upset is the clue. Sincerely, Rossana

Don't worry about the walking thing. Both my sons didn't walk until 15 and 18 months. The older one because he was bigger for his age and so it took a little longer to figure out how to coordinate everything and the second because his personality is such that he will only be happy if something is done the "right" way, so he wasn't going to walk until he could do it the way he wanted.
As far as potty training goes, I am unfamiliar with potty training children this early (it sounds like you got some good ideas/help), but my piece of advice is this: make sure that she really is ready before starting. If they aren't ready it takes much longer and the more back and forth you go (in my experience at least) the more confusing it is. Example "How come sometimes I can go potty in my pants and its okay and sometimes its not?" (if you go back and forth or use training pants a lot) or they have a lot of accidents and it takes so long to get past the really frequent accidents phase that it isn't as unpleasant as it used to be to have an accident and then their motivation is way down. If they don't care if they wet their pants than why stop playing to go potty? I know moms that started potty training at 18 months and their children are still having several accidents a day and they are 3 and 4 years old. This is not meant to discourage you from potty training yet, you're her mom and you know her better than anyone; I just know the frustration my friend (and others) went through and her telling me how she wished she would have waited a little later to 1. make sure they really were ready and 2. Not have to deal with years of frequent accidents. Anyway, I'll get off my soap box now, I just know how hard it is (in the short and long run) if they aren't ready and how quick and easy it can be if they are. Good luck!

You have received great advice about potty training. Don't worry about the walking issue yet. My nephew didn't walk unitl 17 months. My sister-in-law is a pediatrician and she just encouraged him to walk with assistance where ever they went and a lot at home. His issue was walking on uneven terrain and until he had that down with assistance, he wasn't going to try is alone! But he also just knew he could move faster by crawling.

My son walked really early, about 9 months. But he would walk a little and drop down to crawl for speed. Just keep encouraging her and providing goals.

Good luck!

You might want to look into the "diaper free" community in portland- i know they meet every once in a while at Milagros, and there are some books on the concept. They start from birth up, so they probably have some really good ideas about how to overcome the lack of mobility.
probably a quick google search with "diaper free" would get you some links with ideas. I know one mom who went diaper free with her daughter at 3 months. they used to sit on the toilet during routine intervals for 20 minutes or so and do story time- the method seemed to work for her. her daughter is now over a year and i've never seen her in a diaper, or have an accident.

Hi H.-
I wouldn't be too concerned about her not walking yet. I would also try to not view it as she "refuses" or "won't" walk....she obviously isn't quite ready. Sounds like the same progression my daughter went through...holding hands even though I'm pretty sure she could have done it on her own and the cruising on the furniture. Be patient. AS far as potty training goes, you'll probably get tons more great advice but....I would let her run without diapers a bit, teach sign language about potty, put a potty on the floor that she can crawl to and do a lot of observing. Good luck

My son didn't walk until 19 months - and i was not the least bit concerned about it...a year later, he runs and gallops like the rest of them. He stopped wearing diapers pretty early (at least from what people say, particularly for a boy) at just over 2 years. I think that your daughter may not want to go in a diaper, but that doesn't necessarily mean she is ready to use the toilet...maybe you need to use duct tape!

I am not sure why it matters, however, if you want her to use the toilet (and if you feel that she really us ready) whether or not she can walk - because I don't know many kids under 2 that can get up onto a toilet by themselves anyway - so you will have to pick her up to get her on, why not pick her up to carry her there.

Hey there! There's a book called "Diaper Free!" and it's about potty training babies (who aren't walking...). It has great suggestions and signs for teaching your child to recognize when they need to go and communicating it, and also for the parents' recognition of their child's body signals for when a visit to the potty is in order.

Oh, and about the walking, a friend of mine has a 14 month old who also refuses to walk unless he's supported by something or a hand. They got him a Radio Flyer push wagon that has a setting which prevents the wagon from running away on him. It makes a click sound as he moves (the slow setting engaged) and he loves it...not to mention he gets to push around his stuff by himself.

Good luck!

I liked Lisa's suggestions about crawling and a small potty chair.

I am concerned about why she isn't walking. Have you talked with her pediatrician about her delayed walking? Does she crawl? Has she met other milestone abilities near the appropriate date?

My grandson had delayed speech and we didn't have him evaluated until he was nearly 3. I wish we'd asked more about his speech much earlier. He has been in speech therapy and a therapeutic preschool since he was evaluated at almost 3. He's now 5 and still cannot talk so that we can understand him. He has other physical signs of developmental difficuties. He wants lots of strong physical touch causing him to run into people so hard that he nearly knocks them down. He does knock children down. He still only plays in parallel with another child. I always wonder if he'd be more advanced by now if we'd started treatment earlier.

She is telling you she is ready, go for it. Ask yourself why you are being defiant? The order that something happens is less important than the fabulous milestone they are making.

I don't have any advice about helping your baby walk since my only baby is 13 months and not walking yet, but he has been diaper free since he is 7 months (except for bed time). I encourage you to get an early start, it takes some time for them to figure things out, so by the time she starts walking she will be more likely to do it on her own. You can probably start by putting her in the potty as soon as she wakes up in the morning make a hissing sound like pssss.. and say the word pee or any other you may choose. You can also try having her wear a cloth fitted diaper during the day, check her every half an hour or so and change the diaper as soon as is wet or soil. After you learn how frequently she wets her diaper you may choose to seat her on the potty so often. It might sound a little overwhelming but it's not at all. It sounds like she is really ready and you might be very surprised how fast you get use to it.

My youngest really enjoyed rolling my exercise ball around the house. He could move at his own pace and it was big enough that it didn't seem to get away from him very often. Just a thought. Good luck!
V.

By all means if she is ready, go for it. The book "Toilet Training in Less Than a Day" worked for us. You can find it on amazon.com. Maybe it would motivate her to walk independently.

I say to go for it, why not respond to her readiness signals. Maybe it will actually motivate her to walk!

And I dont' think the late walking is a big deal either, my son didn't walk til almost 17 months, he also "refused" like you describe your daughter doing. THen one day he just walked across the room and never looked back - barely ever struggled or wobbled. We see that now he is a perfectionist who likes to wait until he can do something completely and perfectly before attempting and possibly failing. Another issue to deal with, obviously :-) but the late walking makes sense in light of his personality!

Good luck with the potty training! My 22 month old daughter also seems really ready, now I just need to make the time to do the training with her! I used the One Day method with my son (right at age 3) and it worked great - I'm not sure how to apply it to a younger child, but I've heard of others using it. Good luck!

Hi H.,

Don't worry about the walking. I own a cloth diaper business and I see thousands of babies every year at every stage and your daughter is acting perfectly normal. SHe just needs to one day let go of the furniture and realize she can walk without holding onto something. It willhappen like magic one day.

As for potty traing before walking, if she will crawl to the potty, then she will take to it just fine.

A.

Everything I have read on potty training says that it shouldn't be started earlier than 20 months... thats when they start to urinate less frequently and are more capable of recognizing that they have to go. Pooping is different and the urge to do so is recognized sooner, but it totally sounds like your daughter is well on her way. I would put her in onesies ALL the time so she stops taking the diaper off! :)

As far as walking goes, my fifteen month old just recently started walking and we had a similar situation in that she was completely able to do it, she just chose not to. We live near a great park and took her there often to walk in the sand without her shoes on. For about a month, it was the only place she would walk! She loved being around other walking kids and I think the sand felt a little better, like it held her up. Also, I kept her barefoot at home at all times (not even socks) and bought her a pair of pedipeds to wear out so that she had the constant feel of the ground below her. The harder soled shoes seemed to prevent her from trusting herself. Now, she cant be stopped and runs everywhere! The plus side to late walkers is that they fall a lot less because they wait until they are really ready and are typically pretty cautious kids.

I would say don't help her to walk. The philosophy behind this is that she probably can walk on her on. She is just hanging on to you for extra time with you and your husband. Instead of giving her the extra time when she is holding onto your hands, I would suggest that you give her the extra time after she has walked on her own. Give her big praise for that.

My daughter toilet trained her self at 18 months--it was a nightmare as we were on vacation and we had to visit every toilet in town. I think she is that she it telling you she is ready. I would try those pull-ups, although I never had them, they sound interesting. I would have a small stack of them where she could put a clean one, as well as a place to put as a place to put the dirty ones. Also have a small toilet that is on the floor so she doesn't have to reach the big toilet.

I hope this helps. W.

Get her a toddler potty and put it in whatever room she is in so she can crawl to it! My youngest has been using the potty since she was 13 months at her insistance.(She bangs on the toilet repeatedly until I put her on it) She is not ready to have the diapers gone but she gets the whole toilet concept and will get there in her own time.
She likes the big potty cuz it's what everyone else uses, but I have to sit in the bathroom the whole time because she is to small to get up or down on her own.... the only positive to all the time I spend on the bathroom floor is how clean the toilet and the surrounding area is. LOL!! I feel your pain about the little one showing signs but having an obstical in your way...........frustrating!!!
Hope this was somewhat useful to you!

Hi H.,

I had opposite issues with walking, my youngest daughter was ready @ 7mth, skipped crawling completly. How it started, she pulled herself up to an upsidedown plastic laundry bin and it started to glide slowly on our carpet (big and wide enough to feel comfortable, I guess) It worked for her and she was walking on own by 9 months, boy, was I busy. Just what worked for us.
Good Luck,

J. T.
Mother of two wonderful girls 16 & 8.