Mother of 9 Month Old and Also 2 Months Pregnant

Updated on November 03, 2006
K.W. asks from Anchorage, AK
18 answers

I just want a little advice on handling my 9-month-old daughter's potty training. I would really like to get her potty trained before baby #2 is born in June. She doesn't walk yet so I guess it's too early to start? Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated!

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So What Happened?

Thank you everyone for all your advice and thoughts. I have read all of the responses, and I agree with all of you. I will wait until she starts showing some signs. Hopefully it's sooner rather than later. :) I will buy her a potty chair just so she can get used to it and I will also buy that book that was recommended. Thanks again!

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Y.G.

answers from Las Vegas on

I have 16 month old twins. Having two in diapers is a breeze. I'm definitely waiting until THEY decide they want to potty train, because although diapers are expensive, to me, they are so much easier than potty training and accidents.

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C.B.

answers from Provo on

That sounds like a fairytale! I have heard stories of babies being potty trained at 14 to 18 mos, but gosh I dont know, that sounds great but eeekkks... I had one that wasnt ready till he was 3! Some babies are ready for stuff like that early but not always. You will have to see if she is ready, if so she will train well and if she isnt ready she wont.
All children train different; rewards, grown up, mommydaddy does it, what ever method you decide to use, the thing that has worked best for me and all my friends that had kids when I did was consistancy, remember accidents happen and they are not a dicipline issue.
Receintly I was in the mall bathroom and the mom was asking a girl why she pottied her pants withiout asking mom to take her to the bathroom and the little girl very sweetly and consideratly of her mom said you were busy and I didnt want to bother you!

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H.J.

answers from Pocatello on

K.-Most children potty train at age three. Fortunatly girls do train easier and sooner. BUT..consider this. It really is easier to have two children in diapers at first...think about taking a stroller into those little stalls with your potty trainer, think about having to rush everything to get to a toilet for a potty trainer, think about all the extra laundry you are already going to be faced with...relax and let her take her time. Two in diapers isn't really so bad.
H.

1 mom found this helpful
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K.O.

answers from Portland on

I have to agree with others on this... It's too soon. I know diapers are expensive, but if you try to push your daughter into doing something she's not ready for you're just going to prolong the process.

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K.

answers from Anchorage on

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but your expectations are far too much.

There are two things in life you can't force a child to do, and that is eat and go to the bathroom.

You have to wait for their cues of readiness before you can start potty training. If you don't, you will ensue a power struggle, and you will find youself with a 4 year old that still has accidents.

Just relax, realize you WILL have 2 in diapers and let her take the lead when she's ready.

FWIW, my daughter did potty train until 2 months before her 3rd birthday, and she's still ahead of many her age.

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K.Y.

answers from Cheyenne on

2 in diapers is not a big deal, if that is what you are worried about. I have 14 1/2 month old twins. They are both in diapers, both nursing- you can do both with a 1 yr old and a newborn as well. It will be easier than you think it will be.
Good luck.

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S.F.

answers from Salt Lake City on

I think you are right when you say that she is too young to start. With most kids, they have to be walking before they are ready to start potty training. She will let you know when she is ready; for most kids, it comes between 18 months old to 2 years old.

Having more than one child in diapers is rough, I had three in diapers at the same time. But you find a way through it.

Good luck!

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J.N.

answers from Portland on

Okay sweetie, you can't potty train a nine month old! She doesn't have the capacity to do this. They cannot control their bowels/bladder until they are at least 18 months old. Sorry, it just isn't going to happen before your second baby is born.

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J.B.

answers from Portland on

The experts say to put the portable potty trainer seat in a place where they will have some privacy BUT where you are most of the time and where they feel comfortable. I put ours in the living room away from the front door on the other side of the sofa.For privacy of course! My child loved this. He could see me most of the time from here. Also I bought some little soft carob balls covered with foil with pics of a world map on it. Also another big hit. If they pottied, they got this for rewards. VERY easy to train and VERY fast learner. Sit her there with some awesome big color picture books to read. Works

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G.M.

answers from Portland on

Hi K.,
I agree with the other moms. i would not even introduce potty training until your daughter is at least a year old. With my son, we bought a potty chair when he was about 15months old. But he was afraid of it. So we had to leave it there and let him get used to it for quite awhile. However, my son was over 2 when he was fully potty trained. Granted boys are harder than girls, I would still not even attempt it until she is at a minimum of 1+. Good luck!

G.

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J.H.

answers from Salt Lake City on

Ok, first off, I just have to say, if you can get your 9 month old potty trained before you baby arrives, then kudos to you. Otherwise, potty training should never be a forced issue and should never be on a timeline (like before your baby arrives). Girls are usually easier to potty train, but probably not until they are a little older (traditionally). My advice would be to talk to you pediatrician - and, possibly your daughter might not even be mentally ready. This is something that shouldn't be rushed.

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K.C.

answers from Las Vegas on

Babies that young aren't physically ready to go when they want to, let alone when you want them too. Even a smart kid who might want to be out of diapers simply will not have the bladder and bowel control necessary.

If it helps at all, you can use cloth diapers to increase the chances of early potty training. Disposables are too dry and comfy so kids in disposables tend to be less eager to learn to potty train (hence the average age being much later than it was two generations ago). But even using cloth is no guarantee of an early potty trainer, and you're still looking at something closer to two years old.

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A.N.

answers from Portland on

I think I agree with most of the women below. My daughter turned two in July, and we've just started wearing "big girl panties" all day long... I have another baby on the way, and actually wish they were going to both be in diapers! Potty training her was a breeze, because we didn't push it, we waited until she was ready, and now she is and there is never a fight about it. She hardly ever has accidents and the experience has just been gradually pleasant for all of us. However, if we had tried to get her potty trained at 9 months, even one and a half (for my daughters case), it would have been a total nightmare. I would suggest just following your daughters lead. Take her to the bathroom with you, "show" her that you're going "pee-pee" (or whatever you want to call it, and have her show you when she's ready. You'll know she's getting close when she wants to flush the toilet for you, or try's to climb up on the potty herself. My daughter even started telling us she was going "poo-poo", we knew then she was getting really close, as she was associating her bowel movements.

Hope some of this kind of helps, don't worry about two in diapers, worry about one small one and rushing off to find a bathroom at a grocery store, and then one having an accident in the cart all over your groceries....it happens ;)

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H.J.

answers from Los Angeles on

while I admire your enthusiasm. Honestly a nine month old, can't get herself on the potty in fact she can't even tell you she has to go... there is hope, both my kids took an interest in potty training around 16 months an were almost totally done by 2 so there is hope. I had 2 in diapers for a while too, but it's not so bad, you'll survive.... And most likely it'll only bee for a few months anyway. By the way congratulations on both your littel girl, and your new baby to come...

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J.S.

answers from Salt Lake City on

Well, I've heard rumors of the "New Age Diaper less Living" but only rumors, I dont know, I felt strongly for my son to wait until he was ready, I didnt know what the signs of being ready looked like, but I bought a trainer toilet, set it in the hall just to store for a while until I saw "the signs" and one day around his second birthday, there was a poop in the toilet, I bought the book "Potty train your child in Just One Day" almost as a joke to see what they had to say, I followed the directions and No Joke, He was potty trained in Just One Day, He never ever had an accident, but that was just our case. I had a friend who bragged about his son being potty trained when he was 9 months old, he said his child goes potty and poop in the toilet but just kept having accidents, hummmmm, doesnt sound trained to me, mom & dad just didnt hold him over the toilet in time, I think it was the parents who were trained really, now the child is 12 yrs old and still has accidents, maybe they have expected too much out of him in all areas of life. So when ever you feel is time for your child to start, good luck, but when you do, that book did work for me. I would suggest if you do get the book, read it cover to cover and follow the directions fully, there are prep days before the "Big Day"
Congratulations on the new arrival.
Happy Training.

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C.S.

answers from Las Vegas on

Hi K.,
My feeling is 9 months is way to early to expect her to potty train. Most babies potty train at about 2 years old when they have a better understanding of what they are doing and can appreciate your positive response. I tried to potty train my daughter at exactly two and she just screemed everytime I put her on the toddler pot, so I waited 6 months and she trained with little problem. Good luck.

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L.I.

answers from Boise on

Thats funny cause i am in the same situation. My son just turned one today and i am due in june too. I wanted to get him potty trained by then but figured it would be more work on my part trying to get him do to it before he is ready.

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N.J.

answers from Seattle on

Potty training at 9 months old?? I think it is way too early to start.

Some of the signs that your child is ready to be potty trained is that they can pull down their own pants, they stay dry for 2-3 hours at a time, they stay dry during naps, they show signs before they go to the bathroom that you would be able to recognise, etc, etc. Many, MANY kids aren't ready until between 2 and 3 years old.

My boys are 17.5 months apart. I've had 2 in diapers for almost a year. It isn't as bad as you think it will be. It does get a bit expensive, but that's the worst of it. After the first few months you won't even notice the extra diaper changes.

If you try and train before your child is ready you can actually end up prolonging the process. I'd hold off, for quite a while.

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