Questions Regarding Inheritance

Ok, I am a lawyer who does this kind of work, so of course I am going to say, "get a lawyer." It should not cost you much/anything to consult with an estate attorney to see what your options are. The will should take care of this question one way or the other. It should either say that you get your mom's share or that her share goes back into the "pot" to go to her siblings. This should not be a question of someone else signing off on it -- it should reflect your grandmother's wishes, not those of your aunts/uncles. You should find a diplomatic way of asking for a copy of the will -- or if it is in probate, a copy of it should already be public record and you can have the attorney look it over to see what path the will takes. Good luck -- if you live in S.D. I can refer you to someone in your geographic area, contact me at ____@____.com.

You need to tell your father to NOT sign anything until you consult an Estate Administration/Probate Attorney. This attorney would advise you as to whether or not you would be entitled to any of the inheritance. I work for a law firm as a Paralegal, but I have only recently started working on Estate work. So, I am not sure if you, as an heir, would be entitled. My gut feeling is that you would be entitled since your mom was on the will originally, so it would pass to you and your sister.

I hope this is helpful to you.

What your mothers family is doing is morally wrong. You need to discuss this with your father and tell him not to consent to anything. Then you need to discuss this with an attorney before speaking to the family. This happens more often than not people forget to change their wills after the passing of an heir. If you are not able to hire an attorney I would speak to the probate attorney for your grandparents. The probate attorney's job is to see that your grandparents wishes are followed through not those of the heirs.

Yes, I have had basically the same thing happen to me, except it was my brother who took the inheritance and ran. There are three of us girls, but because he was made the executor of the estate, he took everything. I am so glad that I at least have a few items that my mother brought here to my house when we took care of her before her death, otherwise, none of us would have gotten anything. Yes, I could have used the $40,000 dollar inheritance that was to be mine and also each of the other children would have gotten the same, but for him to spend it all, was just unethical from the word go. To think he was thinking of being a minister at one time. Oh lordy! Oh well, what goes around comes around. He divorced his wife and none of his children want a thing to do with him anymore. In fact, he's not even allowed to see his grandchildren, so I guess the dear lord has the last word. Tell you Dad not to sign those papers. Like you, even if it just a vase, candle, candy dish, anything, it is still part of your grandmother and mother. You deserve something to show for your mother's mother and her childhood. Good luck and God bless you.

tell your dad not to sign anything...get a lawyer....these ppl are just screwin you over....i know what your going thru went thru it with my mom 10 yrs back....your dad has every right to your moms inheritance.good luck

I'm sure your grandparents didn't forget anything! You are their daughter's "issue" and the will is probably written to protect you. If you're in the east metro (we live in St. Paul and he works in Hastings) my husband is an attorney (and going through this personally as he is the exectutor of his Mother's estate). At least learn what your rights are and you can be advised on how to interact with the family. It sounds like they're going to alienate you anyway so it won't hurt to have an attorney get involved. http://www.mayobrien.com And call your Dad NOW and tell him to do nothing until you know your rights. This is an extremely stressful time, even when people are on good terms. And I do agree, pull your weight with Estate expenses. Good luck!!!!!!

I don't think your father should sign your rights to the inheritance away. If your grandparent was alive when your mother passed and did nothing to change the will the siblings should respect that and do what is right. No matter how large or small the inheritance is it should stand as written unless there is just cause that it shouldn't. If the grandparent wasn't in their right mind when death occured and they were that concerned about it they could have done a power of attorney and taken care of the will before his/her death. Family is important so it comes down to how much it is worth lossing them in your life.

Having worked in probate and estate planning for awhile now I can tell you that Wills bring out the worst in people. Beware. Based on what you have said things are not going to be easy or pleasant unless your dad does sign and just walks away. I can almost guarantee that it comes down to money with your mom's siblings. Obviously the Will will have to be probated which means an attorney will probably be involved. I would advise that if you want to keep your mother's inheritance that you father meet with an attorney prior to signing anything. If you just want a few personal items for yourself and your child then perhaps you can negotiate that with your aunts and uncles. If you want your mom's full "share" then chances are things are going to blow up and you'll just have to hang tough until the final checks are disbursed in the estate. And once that is done your aunts and uncles will probably resent you for not giving in and signing over your rights. Unfortunately, in my experience, people tend to get very greedy when a loved one dies. I've seen people do awful things during the probate of an estate. Best of luck.

I'm astonished that your mom's siblings would ask such of thing. It is absurd.

Definitely talk with them first and settle this without lawyers. Everyone will lose if lawyers are involved.

I don't think you are wrong in wanting the inheretance to go to your family. I think it's wrong of them to ask. I honestly do not think that your father should sign the paper, but ultimately the decision is his. I think you need to tell him how you feel abou tthe whole thing. Sorry for your loss. Good luck with all this will stuff.

I sincerely empathize with your situation and want to extend my sympathies to you over the loss of your grandparent and mom. In regards to your dad signing your mom's name off of the will, tell him not to do it. If your grandparents wanted to change their will after your mom's passing, they would have done so. It seems as if your grandparents were saying that they wanted you and your sibling to get your mother's share. If anything, it sounds like your relatives are being greedy by wanting your mom's name out of the will. I wish you and your family well and lots of luck with this situation.

About me: 33 yr old sahm of 3 and married to a wonderful husband.

do not sign off on your moms share in the estate. My ex died before his dad did and my children shared his share of the estate. Don't let the other sibllings greed take away your rightful shares. Do not sign anything. Good luck
N.

I'm sorry for your losses.
I would contact a lawyer. Your mom was in the will and if the timing would have been different, she would be a part in this. And when her time came, the inheritance/items received would have been passed on down. Due to unfortunate events, it didn't happen that why. Maybe your grandparent didn't change the will because they still wanted her family to have some of the inheritance no matter what it is. Why would the siblings not want something to go to their sisters family?

Hi Shelley,

I also empathize with your situation. We lost my mother and then my grandmother a year later. There was all kinds of inheritance nastiness that lasted almost 2 years.

I completely understand that it isn't about money, but the principle of it all. The problem is that it is up to your dad to decide whether or not he wants "his" inheritance assuming your mother's will left everything to him. If her will divided things up to your dad, you and your sibling, then you may have a leg to stand on with your own attorney.

I would discourage your dad to sign anything without legal counsel. If I were you, I would ask to go to the attorney with your dad.

Good luck! At least it isn't your siblings that you are fighting over this with and you can cut these people out of your life if you really want to.

Shelley,

The most important question is what would your grandparents have wanted. They included your mother in the will, and therefore, it would appear that they would not want her family completely cut out. Don't let your dad sign anything! Since it is a will, probate will have to deal with it - your aunts and uncles may want to consider how much it will cost them to cut you out as well. I would consult a lawyer!

Lisa

I'm so sorry you are having to go through this on top of your loss. I know that you have gotten several responses, but I thought I'd add mine. Last year my husband lost his father. Then in Decemder we lost his grandmother as well. Just because your mother is gone doesn't change the fact that you are family. What should happen is that you and (if you have any siblings) should recieve your mothers portion of the inheritence. I'm not sure how your dad even plays into this. He is not a blood relative, you are. Do not sign anything or let your dad sign anything that takes away anything that your grandparent left to you. You have already lost so much. Good luck.

My ex husband passed away last year and 2 months later his oldest son was killed in a car accident. One of his daughters wanted to do the same thing, split it among the living siblings, but since the son was still alive when his dad passed, the lawyers said that money rightfully belongs to the son's children. They were unable to get the money for themselves, which was good!

I suppose there are lots of factors here. Were your parent's married when your mom passed? That might make a difference. Is there anything in the will to address what happens if one of the children passes before the parent? I personally would not sign anything! Unfortunately, some people get greedy when family members pass. The best advice is probably to consult a lawyer.

I would think that if she is still in the will, her share should be given to your father if your parents were married or split between you and your sibling.

Are you relatives for real?

Your grandparents likely did not 'forget' to take your mom off the will. There was probably a line in the will that said 'your mom and/or her issue'. You are your moms issue. I doubt your dad even has a right to sign off on this unless he is named in the will.

If your grandparents had a decent lawyer, the will was written this way. People do not wish their children to predecease them but they need to take this eventuality into account.

Get a copy of the will. You are not being greedy, your relatives are!

Hi Shelley,

My deepest sympathies, but this does not surprise me at all. When it comes to money, relatives sometimes change. My siblings, and I, lost our Grandfather's entire inheritance to my deceased father's third wife. She brain-washed him into believing that her name needed be put on all his accounts, and although his will said that his estate would be divided equally among his four grandchildren and her, she got everything that was in his bank accounts. The only thing she didn't get was the money from selling his home because she couldn't get him to lower the price before he died, so that money wasn't in his accounts yet...if she would've gotten it sold she would also have had that money. He didn't realize that was the way it would work, but she sure did. My advice is broach the subject, which is what I should have done with my Grandpa, but it is too late now. Don't wait until it is too late...what makes the difference if you are going to make someone mad...you will be the one that is mad later, so you might as well get everything out on the table now.

Good Luck...I know exactly how you are feeling.

C.

shame on them! your mothers inheritance belongs to you and your family. sounds like they are cutting contact with their selfish behavior! dont let your dad sign!

I am sorry for you loses. I have yet to go through this, but at some point fairly soon I will. My mother passed away when I was 11. My grandmother is now not in good health and there is talk about what to do when she does go. My grandmother has it set up so that all her kids get an equal share. Since my mother has passed away, my sister and I will split my mothers share. I'm sure it's not going to be much, but that's not what it is about. It's about having something of my grandparents that I can enjoy and pass down to my children. Luckily, my family is gets a long fairly well, so there should be no fighting. I would tell your dad not to sign the paper and after everything is settled, walk away. You will always have some animosity towards them and maybe some regrets, but it's easier to not deal with people like that, especially if you're not close now. Again, this is just from my perspective and I wish you all the best and whatever decision you make, make it for yourself and your family!

I would contact an attorney because legally the portion of the estate left to yoru mother should go to the remaining members of her family. Sounds like the grandparents intended to keep her family in the will. The remaining members of the family are sounding greedy to me. I would see what the value of the estate is before having your father sign away any rights to the inheritence. Contact an attorney before making any decision.s

http://www.badgerlaw.net/Home/PublicWeb/LAW/localofficeRa...

I agree with what everyone else has said - I believe her portion passes to her husband and/or children. I did find the above website about a service in Racine that provides free legal advice/assistance - we have something similar in Iowa. But they can't take every case and I'm not sure they even look at something such as your situation. I believe they focus more on divorce/custody/child support family issues. However, they might be able to refer you to someone else.

You could say to your aunts/uncles "I know this is a difficult time for everyone emotionally with our family losses and feeling the need to hold on to their legacy with memories, personal items, and monetary inheritance - especially with the current economy. We just need to take the time to make sure we fulfill (grandparent's name) requests. Before my father signs anything we need to thoroughly review the will and other documents. We need to respect the wishes of our loved ones and follow what they outlined they would like to have done."

You want to try to keep things as calm as possible with no accusations. You could explain how it looks to you in a nice tone "So, when one of you passes, instead of this portion of your inheritance going to your spouse and children, it is going to be divided between your surviving siblings?"

Good luck!

Shelley,

Contact an attorney and tell your father NOT to sign anything. Your grandmother was clear in her wishes. Your mothers portion of her estate should either go to your father or to you/siblings. It would be a great way to start a college fund for your child.

Stand your ground.

C.

I can empathize with a lot of how you are feeling. In the end, if you and/or your dad sign off on anything you will definitely regret it. Surprisingly, people who seem otherwise normal and loving can turn into monsters when it comes to money. Stick up for yourself and accept what is rightfully yours. That is the way your mother would have wanted it. Or do her siblings think she was too selfish for that? All you need to do is get a lawyer who can help you navigate through this situation, and remember--you are your mother's daughter. Good luck! I'm sorry you have such insensitive relatives!

Wow Shelley! This is a tough one. First, I want to say I am very sorry for the loss of your mother and your grandparents. I believe legally your family is entitled to your mom's share of the inheritance. It is a shame that your relatives have asked your father to sign away his right to it. Whether you decide to talk to your family about this really depends on how much their relationship means to you. If your dad decides not to sign off on the will, that may mean you will not have a relationship with them later. However, it sounds like it may be heading that way anyway. I absolutely think you and your dad and siblings have every right to this inheritance. You just have to weigh the options and decide what is most important to you.

OMG!!! First, I want to extend my deepest sympathies for your losses. Second, I do believe that your father is the rightful owner of your mother's inheritance. If he chooses to then give this inheritance to you and your sibling(s) that is his choice. I do believe that it may be best for your or your father to talk to your mother's (greedy) siblings. You do have a right to have that inheritance, even if it consists of only material things, your daughter deserves to have something that belonged to "great grandma"

My mother's house burned down a few years ago. Luckily, no one was seriously injured, but it was an electrical fire, and the house burned very, very quickly, destroying almost everything that was contained inside, including hundreds of antiques and irreplacable items. This was a devastating loss to our family, as there are few remaining items from my grandmother that can now be passed on to her grandchildren and great grandchildren. Luckily, most of the family pictures I had previously scanned and saved onto computers, so they were still available, but my heart and prayers go out that you are able to inherit something. I do believe that this is an example of where money is not what is important to you - it is doing what is right and fair.

You may want to find a good family lawyer, or call around (most offer free consultations) and many will only profit if you win your case

Shelley - First of all, I am sorry to hear that you lost your mom... even if it was a few year ago, I am sure it was and is still hard. Secondly, my family is in a similar situation. My uncle passed away suddenly and his siblings (my mom and 3 others) went in to take my uncles name off of my Grandma's will (who is still alive). Last minute my Grandma decided that she would like to leave my uncles wife on there and they actually had no choice. Unless of course they would have went to her for the signature. Our situation is a little different where as my uncles wife has not talked to the family since the death of my uncle. After a lot of conversations between the family they decided together that it was a good decision to leave her on there, because that is what my uncle would have wanted. They also have three children.
So long story short... I think it would be wise to call/write your relatives and let them know how you feel. Obviously with out you getting mad, maybe just show how hurt you are. I hope that helps.

You are absolutely right. Anything owed to your mom should go to her children (or their children if deceased). You may need to check with a lawyer, however under no conditions should your father sign any paper giving away mom's heirs rightful share of her inheritance. My mother has been talking about changing her will since my father passed. Right now anything would be left evenly between the 7 kids, however my mom worries about leaving anything to one sister due to her drug addictions. She has talked about leaving Sis's share to her daughter. I've suggested to word it in such a way that if any of us siblings die before her that our childern get our share (I'm the oldest with the worse health problems and I'd want to make sure that my daughter or her off springs get my share) which mom is considering. That way it is in black and white and this type of problem wouldn't happen.

I do wish you the best and am sorry about your double lost then this issue making the lost even harder. I'd stand my ground if I were you and tell your father the same.

Hi Shelley -- DO NOT take your mother's name off that will. You are completely right that whatever she was to get, she would have wanted it passed down to her children. You and your siblings have every right to your grandparent's belongings ... like you said, whether it be that special piece of furniture, jewelry, or her favorite vale she wore at every Sunday mass. If she wanted your mother to have it - then it belongs to HER children.

Blessings!

I would not have your dad sign the paper if he is in agreement with you as well.

GET A LAWYER!!! You can call and ask advice for free over the phone and hire one if necessary.

It sounds like you should contact an attorney - if your mom inherited, you are entitled to what she would have gotten, at least split between you and your siblings if you have any. Do not let your dad sign anything until contacting an attorney.

After your aunts and uncles die where will their share of the inheritance go? Will it go back to their siblings to be split amongst them? No, of course not. It will pass on to their spouse/children/grandchildren. This is what should happen to your mothers portion of the inheritance. I would pose these questions to your aunts and uncles and hopefully, they will see it differently. Inheritances, even small ones, bring out the worst in people. As others said, you'll probably need a lawyer.

As a paralegal who has worked with a lot of estates. The general rule is that if one of the heirs passes away it goes to their children and if no children then it is split between the remaining heirs. My feelings on the matter is that your grandparents didn't take your mom out of their wills and probably had the wording stating that it would go to her children. So my feelings would be that was their wish and I would follow them. You're moms family sound like their the ones who are being greedy. I would recommed that you're dad wouldn't sign it.

J.

Tell him not to sign it. If your Grandparents wanted the money to go to your mom, then it should go to you. Your moms name was still in there, so the question is, would your mom want the money to go to you, or to her siblings? you already answered that in your question...."I feel like I should be standing up for my mom since she is not here to do it for herself and let the family know that my mom would want her family to have her inheritance".... Of course she would want you to have it. So stick up for your Grandparents, your mom, and Yourself! When it comes down to it, they obviously care more about money than about you and your family, so who cares what they think.

First of all, your dad should not sign anything. I am wondering how it is worded in the will. My grandmother's will is stated to my mother or her lineal descendents(sp?). My mother's brother died and so his half will go to his children. I would do some checking and since your mother's name is in the will, you should be contacted to hear the will. I would contact a lawyer and ask a few questions. Find someone who specializes in family inheritance. Good Luck!

My mother is still living, but she had a brother who passed when he was 33 - over 30 years ago - and when both her parents passed - his family was ABSOLUTELY INCLUDED!! I am so amazed at what your mother's family has done - and that they expect your father to just "sign your mother away" - it's very selfish on their part - DO NOT SIGN THAT PAPER!!! You and your father DO HAVE A RIGHT TO THE INHERITANCE!! Shame on your mother's family for even asking your father to sign. How little of them. They were your grandparents - and yes - just as your mother's family will most likely pass on what they leave behind when they die to their children - so too would your mother....and it is harder now since your mother passed sooner that you. You are a part of your mother - and asking to revoke the inheritance is like saying you are not part of your mother. I would definately bring this up to your mom's family and let them know how their "decision" has hurt your and your family. Maybe they don't realize how this hurts you. I am all about "letting it out" and would not let someone walk all over me. You have every right to your mother's inheritance - why would your grandparents have taken your mother out of their will? - it wasn't "missed" by your grandparents - they left your mother in their will with intention - and good intention at that. Be strong for your mother's sake. No matter how big or small the inherintece is - it is just that - an inheritace - "ownership by virtue of birthright; right to inherit." by definition. I will keep you and your family in my prayers.

in my opinion the inheritance should go to your dad and/or to you and your sibling. My aunt died unexpectedly, she left her entire estate to her husband and when my grandmother died (her mom), there was no question that her portion would go to her husband and therefore to her two kids. By taking away the inheritance, your aunts (or great-aunts) not sure, are really taking it away from your kids in the long run.

Good luck.

I think that this is absolutely ridiculous and you've been put in a no-win situation. The fact that your aunts and uncles want your father to sign away your mom's share is insulting. You're right - it's not about the money. It's about being a part of the family. Just because your mom is gone, it doesn't mean that you, your father or your sibling are any less a part of that family. When my aunt passed away prior to her mother's death, my aunt's share went to her kids (she didn't have a husband). I believe that was the right thing to do.

I'm sorry you're going thru this!!

Shelley,

What happens with an inheritence has to do with how the will is written, not about what is "fair." Ask for a copy of it from your aunts and uncles and read over it with a lawyer to find out what your options are.

Good luck,
S.

I agree with what everyone else is saying... do not have your Dad sign anything and consult a lawyer.

If you need a great, inexpensive, and fair lawyer, there is a woman from my multiples group (we both have twins) that can help you. She was an estate planning lawyer at a large law firm but recently quit to stay home to raise her twins. However, she is fully licensed to practice out of her home. She is super reasonable and just a great person. Here is her contact information, if you're interested: Sandra Stone, ###-###-####, ____@____.com luck!

Shelley,
It's terrible when families squabble over money, especially after a death. You and your sibling are completely entitled to accept the inheritance on your mother's behalf. That is what your grandparents clearly intended, or they would have taken your mother off the will when she died. The inheritance is just as you described - whether money or personal items, it is meant to be passed to the living relatives at whatever point in the generational chain it can be passed to. Your father should absolutely not sign any such papers, and you should not feel bad about discussing this with your aunts and/or uncles. It's too bad they feel that you guys are now outsiders, but you were still in your grandparents' hearts, and their wishes should be fulfilled.
Good luck,
Amy K

I am sorry for your loss. May God be with you and your family.

Your grandparents knew that they had lost your mother, they lost their child. If they didn't want the money to go to you and your sibling or to your father, they would have changed the will. Please let your father tell them that he won't sign it away but that if it makes them feel better it can go directly to you and your sibling. They aren't thinking straight in their grief but it might help your father to point out that if one of them would pass away that they would want their children to get their share instead of it all being split between the living siblings.

Shelley,

While I've never had to go through this, I agree that your mother's immediate family should receive her share of the inheritance. I know that my parents' will is set up to be split between my younger brother and myself. If one of us is no longer around, our share of the money would be split between our children. (He has 3, I have 2.) So, in essence, if I passed, his share would go to him and my share would be split in half and given to each of my boys. If he passed, I would receive my half and his half would be shared--1/3 to each of his three children. It would seem to me that this would be the fairest thing to do in your case as well, but it is a very delicate situation to handle. I can understand your mother's siblings situation, but think that they are actually the greedy ones by trying to exclude your mom after she's gone. Sorry I can't be of more help!! Good luck. :)

Firstly, I'm so sorry for your losses. I'm also sorry that your aunts and uncles are so selfish and greedy as to want to keep your mom's rightful piece of the inheritance. When my grandmother passed away after my dad, my brother and I split my dad's portion. That was how it was written in the will. Have you ever seen a copy of the actual will? I would think that most wills would call out who would get the portion if the son/daughter had passed. I think this might be the reason why they're asking your dad to sign away rights. I'd ask to see an original copy. If it's not on the will, I guess you can get a lawyer and fight it (and be prepared to never see them again), or sign and walk away and probably never see them again.

no, your dad should NOT sign the papers.... you and your dad (and any other of your sibligs) should get a lawyer and come to terms with any of the issues here, and its easiest to do that with a representative that knows how to deal with it. its only fair. its not about trying to hurt them, its about trying to be fair, and just because your mother died earlier than others, doesnt mean that your family should lose out on family memorabilia, especially since the legal documents are already in place to pass down to your family whatever.... you know??

get proper representation, and go forward from there. in times of death, there is always issues like this, and it is more selfish of them to assume that your family shouldnt get anything simply because of your mother's death! this is a HORRIBLE way for them to treat your family.

just try to proceed legally, and simply. get representation, go through things legally and fairly. if possible, make sure that the legal representative gets you the things to which you are entitled before the situation is completely resolved.

i repeat DO NOT sign ANY document they may give you until you have proper, intellegent legal representation.

good luck, and im SO SORRY that you have to go through this now. what a horrible way to deal with death in the family but by having this kind of disagreement. my moms whole family hated her after their father's death and the quick claim handing over of the home to my mom. they paid the bills on the home, paid to have it cleaned up (over ONE TON of garbage hauled away) and they did all the work sorting through and separating and giving items to those who wanted different things.
when the house finally sold (it was a beautiful location on a secluded lake but it still wasnt much - i think 80,000 to split between 6 kids, and many grandchildren).... a few of the siblings chose to have hurt feelings and anger because of the amount they received.
when the house sold, my parents took record their dad had kept every time he borrowed money to all the kids, subtracted that amount from the appropriate kids... and gave them what was left - each grandchild got a smaller sum as well, all of the grandchildren got equal amounts - whether or not the CHILD actually got the money is unknown - but of course , if you only had one kid, there was only one kids share... blah blah.

anyway, i spent mine on college :P
either way, it was HORRIBLE, i have cousins now that i hardly know at all, and very tense relationships with aunts and uncles that i previously loved. i had nothing to do with the arguements, but i certainly was involved.

i guess the point in sharing this story is to help you feel better knowing that unfair hurtful situations happen a lot when there is a death. its SO unfair that you are trying to deal with your emotions when at the same time you have to deal with seemingly unemotional even hurtful reactions from family. i sympathize with you, ive seen what it does to family.

anyway.
ive blabbed long enough. i hope thigns turn out better for you - i hope you can get what you feel you are entitled to and resolve things. get a lawyer (which is in NO WAY an aggressive act - it is defensive - you are protecting your legal rights!!! your grandparents may very well have not removed your mother from their will BECAUSE they WANTED your family involved!!)

anyway.
good luck good luck good luck!

Ditto Suzy, your grandparents did not forget to take your mom off the will, they have it written so her portion will go to you and your children, or a portion to your dad and the rest to you and your family. They are trying to screw you over by having him sign away that portion of the will.

Get a lawyer, get a copy of the will, and tell your father to NOT SIGN A THING! I'm willing to bet the will states that your mothers portion of the will to be passed to her children/grandchildren and/or husband and they are just trying to rake you guys over by telling you they 'forgot' to remove her from the will.

What a very sad situation indeed. But don't let it go... your mother deserves that, and your grandparents wishes need to be followed.

My mother walked away from her family and her children several years before my grandparents passed away. As far as we know, she is still alive, and does not wish to have any contact. Her siblings chose to split her share of the estate between her three children. There was no will, and all of his assets were jointly held by my aunt, so they were under no legal obligation to do this. They simply felt it was the right thing to do. I think your dad should tell them no. Presumably, your grandmother had plenty of opportunity to write your deceased mother out of her will. Also presumably, she didn't feel that you, your sibling and your father were no longer part of the family just because her daughter passed away. My mother's family also makes an effort to make sure we know that we are still part of their family.

I would contact a probate attorney and see if you have any rights here. I believe you do. I also believe that your father has rights as her spouse. Ask how much the attorney will charge, this can get real expensive.
Good luck, I am sorry this is happening, family members should be loving and supportive at a time like this, not greedy.

I'm going to offer a little different viewpoint. In a perfect world, I think many of these posters are correct.

But...

Consider the situation and relationships your father and immediate family have had with your relatives.

My husband's grandmother was talked into a rotten financial deal by one of her sons a number of years ago and almost lost her house as a result. My husband and I have been helping his parents (her daughter and son-in-law) pay for a place for her to live, house repairs, etc. The other family members, including the son who caused the problem, all walked away. They wouldn't even help out when my father-in-law lost his job. We don't want to hurt Grandma and tell her how selfish her other children have been. But, do those family members deserve anything, if there is anything left? I don't think so. But I'm sure they will ask for it.

Of course, I don't know enough about what your situation is, but I just wanted to offer that viewpoint from someone who will probably be coming from the other side of the situation when my husband's grandmother passes.

One more thing. If there is any money, is it going to be used for the funeral expenses? That is another issue for us. We know no one else will chip in for that. They could be afraid that you will keep your mother's share and you won't agree to help pay for things.

Good luck with everything. Family issues are difficult and stressful.

I see you have a lot of responses and haven't yet read them, so I may be duplicating other's sentiments.

Do not sign away what your mother and her heirs deserve. The grandparent could have changed the will and did not and that very may well have been because he/she wanted your family to share in what was intended for your mother.

Whether or not the relationship with your mother's family deteriorates is not within your conrol. All you can do is explain your position and hope they understand.

Don't give in because you don't want to make waves. I 100% believe that your family should have your mother's portion. I'm actually really sad that her siblings don't feel that way. Don't they believe that is what your mom would have wanted???

Hi Shelley,

I went through a rough time with my family about 8.5 years ago when my grandmother passed, so I know it is so very difficult to go through. Having said that, you need to understand that every state has different laws regarding estates and inheritances. I know a great lawyer in Walworth, WI...he handled my grandmother's estate (still is, in fact as there are a couple of items that have yet to be distributed, but I'm in Mpls, and my brother and sister are on the West Coast!).

His name is Richard Rasmussen, phone number is ###-###-####. (Make sure you talk to Richard, not his brother David...Richard is much more personable and understanding.)

You'll need to have a copy of the will for him to review so he can see what options there are and what the outcome is. My grandmother put a clause in hers that if her will was contested by my mother, that she wouldn't get anything. There were also provisions in it in case of others dying before she did...I don't know if your grandmother's will has any of those provisions or not.

Good luck, and try to remember your loved ones as they lived...not what happened after they died. Whatever happens, you know she loved your mother, and she loved you, and that's what matters most.

~T.

You deserve your mom's birthright, simple as that. They are the greedy people here. Your mom had a family, there was a portion of money spoken for her and you are her survivors. I would view it sort of like insurance the survivors receive her portion. She no doubt would have shared it with her family she loved dearly. Her children and especially grandchildren deserve some opportunities money can allow. The future generation will need all the help they can get, since several decades of politicians have created a bleak financial outlook that will rain down on them if nothing improves. My heart goes out to you my oldest brother stole from his two siblings( me and son#2) and my children certainly would benefit from the help. My heart goes out to you and your family. I hope dad does not sign; they will not appreciate, it if he does.