Questions About Marriage on the Board

I agree with Scarlett, makes me appreciate how very lucky I am.
We have had some super low times where we honestly did not think we could ever stay together for even 5 more minutes., but worked through it and made us stronger.

So much history together, a beautiful wonderful child.

He gets on my last nerve sometimes, but I am no prize myself. We are perfect, just for each other.

I answer all questions posted on here that I respond to honestly. Sometimes I'm too blunt and come across as harsh but in general I don't candy coat anything. As far as "happily ever after"...our family moto is: We may not have it all together, but together we have it all. Marriage, work, homemaking, kids...are not easy. Anyone who says it is is lying. My hubby and I are committed to each other and our family 100%. Divorce is not an option for us (we've been there, done that). We try very hard to eliminate negative things and people from our lives and take the bad with the good. We have had a very difficult last 2 years as we've had 2 custody hearing that did not go our way. The tough times only make you appreciate the good times even more. Just my 2 cents. :o)

Validate - posts like those make me feel better about my marriage.

It makes me realize how lucky I am that my husband doesn't/wouldn't do some of the things that other women have to deal with.

It also gives me "comfort", for lack of a better word, that other people deal with similar problems. It means we are doing something right that we have overcome so many hurdles. I know we can deal with anything life throws at us. And, that no one's marriage is perfect. But, it can be close, depending on your standards and how you look at certain situations presented to the two of you.

It makes me realize the grass is RARELY greener on the other side.

I always reflect and answer honestly to each question, from my marriage and kids to what kind of lotion I use.

I always say it's 'happily sometimes ever after'... NO ONE'S marriage is perfect 100% of the time, and those who say theirs is is a liar in my book... it takes a lot of work, and everyone has their ups and downs. I'll vent about my guy in one response, but then give him all the love and praise in the next. We live happily sometimes ever after; we're perfectly imperfect :)

I think too many women get swept up in the Disney-sold romantic notion of "happily ever after". In the books and movies, we are never shown what happily ever after is. Cinderella and Snow White never have to deal with their prince's BS of complaining about picking up the kids or leaving their dirty socks on the floor.

I knew going into marriage that I was not always going to be in lust, in puppy love, and have that "oh we just met honeymoon stage everything is perfect" feeling all the time. Love changes, evolves, and grows over time and our definition of happily ever after must too.

I 100% love my husband and feel like I'm living happily ever after with him. Does it mean it is perfect? Nope. But it does feel like I've married my partner, my lover, and my best friend and I could not ask for more :)

Don't ever forget that although the grass is greener on the other side, you still have to mow it!

I think that I answered honestly. I don't think that question made me second quess really. We have had several friends go through some pretty rough patches in the last couple years and I think its really brought us closer together. We have always been good at communicating, even the negative. But seeing and going through stuff like this with friends has made us closer and made us both reflect and see that we are happy.

They remind me that not all men are jerks.

The vast majority of men that I do, in fact, know are pretty wonderful people. But when you live with someone who is borderline to out and out abusive, no matter how hard one tries to keep that from seeming "normal", it DOES creep into "normal".

I personally have a very unhappy marriage. It makes me happy / keeps me from getting too jaded to remember that some people actually DO have happy marriages.

I am old enough to know that Happily Ever After requires a LOT of freakin' WORK! So sure, it IS possible for those who are willing to try, and those with a PARTNER who is willin' to try.

So yes, I am always honest, but oftentimes on this site, honesty is very unpopular!

:)

You have to have the really bads to have the really goods. You have to be able to make it through the times when you want to walk away to make it worth it to stay when you are happy. You can't ever be 100% happy in anything, because life just isn't that way...everything has ups and downs. And everything is a challenge (work, family, love, etc)...but it's what makes the world spin :). Getting over the bad times to get to the good stretches. And I never second-guess my marriage. My husband and I have been through some really bad things and times, but we have been married for 6.5 years and I wouldn't change a minute of it becuase we wouldn't be where we are today without it.

Like others said on the question you mention, we have our own version of "Happily Ever after." We are married. That means we have frustrations, annoyances, struggles, and gripes. At the end of the day, we still laugh with each other every day, we can still say we made a good choice every day, we still love and respect each other every day, we still communicate every day, we still safe guard our marriage ever day, we still parent together and on the same page ever day...etc. That is our version of "Happily Ever After."

Most posts on marriage in this forum, make me feel better about my marriage! I am saddened by how many woman are unhappy, feel their husbands don't help with anything, feel trapped, or are being abused in some way.

I think we made a great choice in each other. We were stable, happy, fulfilled people before we met and added to that. We didn't have baggage from other relationships. So many people's problems stem from a bad choice in a spouse, in my opinion. We are very happy and I am very honest in saying that. We have few problems, and when we do we tackle them. We work VERY hard to make our marriage good, and we're very proud of that.

Happily Ever After doesn't mean no issues and no arguments. It just means that we hash things out, appreciate each other's quirks, and put up with the idiosyncrasies that make each other crazy.
Does it make my crazy when I get the kitchen all spotless, he comes in and cooks something leaving a mess behind? Yes. But, he cooks, he shares, and it's yummy... Does it make me crazy when I get all the laundry done, he comes up with "one more towel". Yes, but laundry is forever. Does it make me crazy when I'm weeding he decides that we need to clean the gutters? Yes, but it all needs to be done so it doesn't really matter what the order is, does it?
It's the little things that make happily ever after -- he brings me my tea in the morning (when he's home). He does the grocery shopping. He has never missed any of the children's performances at school or elsewhere. He drives over an hour to work each way so that we can live where we do. He appreciates all I do at home - even when the beds don't get made. He appreciates my itty bitty income from my church job and my sub jobs -- even though I could make far more in the corporate world. He appreciates that I'm there for the children when he is working.
We've been married almost 22 years. I married my best friend. I like him as much as I love him. I married the man who made me laugh. He still makes me laugh! We are a team. We enjoy being together and doing things together. As the kids get older and head off to college, we are left with an empty nest... It's a good thing we still like each other!!
LBC

I do not believe in "happily ever after" but it does depend on how one defines that phrase and handle situations in their life.

No one is perfect, so at some point something is going to happen that is not so happy. Now it may not make a wave for their happily ever after but no one is truely happy ALL the time. I think saying that you are happy all the time means you are not living in reality but your own little world (which might be making may other very unhappy).

Any question I answer I try to answer as honest as possible. I do not feel the need to paint a picture that is not real.

I didn't answer or read that question because it sounds like a fairy tale.