Our 1.5 year old son goes to day care 2 days a week and is otherwsie home with me. When he comes home from day care, or when he wakes up from his nap at home (both about 4:30 - 5), he is STARVING. He is crabby and hungry and can quickly go through a stack of graham crackers or two cereal bars or really whatever I put in front of him. Then of course when its time to eat dinner at 6 when my husband is home, he is picky and often doesn't eat much. He doesn't seem to want to eat more before his nap (meaning lunch), and I don't think I should be expecting our child care provider to feed him endless snacks, but is there any way to give him something but not ruin his appetite? Or is it just time to give up on the family meal temporarily?
Thank you all for all your tips and ideas! It's nice to know that so many of you have dealt with the same thing. Luckily Casey LOVES fruits and veggies, and for some reason I just felt it was easier to hand him a cracker. But, I think I will start giving him fruits or veggies as a snack in his chair and then later, while we eat, put him back in his chair to be with us and just see what else we can get him to try. Thanks everyone!
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M.B.
answers from
Benton Harbor
on
When you say he wont eat more before his nap, does that mean lunchtime? Have you tried inceasing his lunch meal or his breakfast meal? Does he eat a snack in the morning? If he's doing all that, I would just give him a smaller snack at 4:30/5:00 or maybe some milk or juice.
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V.W.
answers from
Detroit
on
I go through the same thing. I try to make dinner early so he will eat or if I know that what I am making for dinner is something he won't eat I make his dinner. I know that some will say that the kids should eat with us and what not but I feel better this way knowing he has had an actual meal instead of snacks. Good luck
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V.L.
answers from
Detroit
on
I have a 3 1/2 y/o son who likes to help me in the kitchen and eat some of the veggies as we chop them. Have you thought about just giving him more nutritious snacks so that if he didn't eat much of the meal he would still be getting the nutrients he needs. Half the time, we all start out the meal together and then my son kind of plays around us as we finish as a long meal is too much for him to sit through at this age.
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A.T.
answers from
Detroit
on
I have a 2 year old daughter who was at one time the exact same way. It is all about balancing meals. I give her breakfast then 2 hours later she gets a snack ( yogurt or applesauce etc.) then around 11:30 - 12 she is ready for lunch. when she goes down for nap depending if it was around 3 when she woke up she would get a little handful or animal crackers or some fruit. then she would eat her dinner because she would still be hungry. around 7:30 i would give her one more small snack and get her ready for bed. It works and also not filling up on liquids helps a lot.
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E.R.
answers from
Kalamazoo
on
Fill him up on a banana or an apple, something that is healthy and filling. At that point, you know he's full, so if he continues to cry, be firm and make the fact that daddy coming home to eat with you both is very exciting. If he continues to cry, divert him with having him help you make dinner (he can hold a wooden spoon and bang it around a plastic bowl). It takes a few days for a new habit to form, and remember, family dinner is very very important... never give up on establishing that tradition! If he still doesn't seem hungry at dinner, give him only water which will satiate his hunger and keep him wanting dinner in an hour or so! Good luck!
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C.M.
answers from
Detroit
on
I would feed him his dinner when he gets home. Since he is so hungry, you could probably get alot of good things in and you could be sure he is getting the right nutrients, not just filling his belly. Then give him the crackers or cereal bars at dinner.
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A.K.
answers from
Detroit
on
When that happens here. I make a can of veggies or give them raw carrots or some type of veggie.and let the kids eat those while I start dinner. That way they are eating something healthy, and it's something I would make with dinner anyways...
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T.O.
answers from
Detroit
on
Don't give up on the family meal! Eating together is a very important part of a family and helping socialize your son.
Give him a slow acting carb like an apple or pear - that will fill him up for a while (and take a longer time to eat), but he should still be hungry for dinner.
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C.S.
answers from
Detroit
on
You should never give up on family meals. What I do with my kids is give one serving of a snack food and water and then get them started on something. Get out a game, playdoh or coloring stuff. My daughter was about your sons age when I started doing this. She wasn't big on putting stuff in her mouth so she was fine with all the above activities. Sometime I even put in a video. I tell them dinner is coming very soon and they usually except it. Now this hasn't always worked, I started it about a year ago. I use to do the same thing you are and give snack after snack and then nobody ate dinner, it was a hard habit to break but your son is young and should come around fast. You just have to lay down the law and after a while he'll stop being crabby and realize it's doing him no good to be that way. Kids are what you make them and if you give in when they get crabby, they know doing it will get them the result they want. Just stick to it and it should work. Good luck!
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T.W.
answers from
Lansing
on
No, never give up on the family meal. IMO this is the cause of so much problems with disconected families and out of control teens, so whatever you do eat together as a family!
If you give him a healthy snacks (fruit, veggies, protien--, so this is not crackers or ceral bars those are proceeced and not very healthy) he should be fine. Try a banana or apple with peanut butter. Then maybe eat a bit later than you normaly do. Or, could you have him nap early so it does not run into dinner?
You have many options--just feed him healthy and eat dinner as a family.
GL:)
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M.T.
answers from
Detroit
on
Hi B., have you check the labels of the snacks your giving him? HIGH FRUCTOSE CORN SYRUP IS IN EVERYTHING, this is causing weight gain, diabetes,tumors, its as bad as nutrasweet, and aspartame,what this also does is gives a feeling of not being full so it makes you crave more and more..it will take some effort and it has taken me a year to read labels and know what cereals to buy, all of kellogs has it, fruit is the best snack before dinner or anytime, cut up into bit size pieces of course apples are very filling using organic peanut butter, to dip them, I beg you to start reading labels even peanut butter has this in it, jiffy, ext.. you have to read, I know if you start giving fruit, and just let it sit there and let him have nothing else, he will eventually eat it you may have to work on this for a week or so, but eventually he will eat the fruit and be so happy that he did.
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E.W.
answers from
Detroit
on
My kids went through this for awhile. They weren't on a day care schedule, but they just wanted to eat their dinner earlier and before my husband got home from work. I decided to feed them earlier and found dinnertime with my husband to be much more relaxing :) We all won with this one! And then there were days I would feed them their veggies at 5pm, and then they'd get the main part of their meal when we all sat down together. I notice at 1.5, they don't necessary like to sit for a whole meal - they're too busy and on the go anyways.
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C.N.
answers from
Detroit
on
Just don't fill him up with carbs. He's hungry and I would definately feed him, give him cut up apples, carrots, raw veggies etc. Then if he's picky at dinner you worry that he's not getting enough nutrition.
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L.O.
answers from
Detroit
on
My son is 8 almost 9 and he has needed to eat like every 2 hours since he was a week old. Since he's gotten a little older now that seems to have subsided EXCEPT when he's in a growth spurt! What I have done in the past is decide how much I would want him to have and tell him he needs to eat it slow because that's all there is before dinner. It might be worth a try for you? Good luck & let me know how things workout.
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J.M.
answers from
Lansing
on
THis is almost like feeding on demand. I gave me kids fruit and veggies. They don't stick with them as long as the crackers or cereal and they get a healthier diet. Keep his diet balanced and work towards the family meals even if he only stays with you for 5 minutes right now. They are important as they grow up. If you give up on it now, it will be even harder to bring it back when he is 8.
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C.B.
answers from
Detroit
on
Partly it sounds like he's 'conditioned', like a Pavlov's dog. His body's become accustomed to intake. I sometimes go to bed with my stomach growling in hunger, but I ignore it, go to sleep, and surprise! I wake up hungry, ready to have some breakfast, but I slept it off during the night.
It could be legit. Like low blood sugar. So institute healthy snacks instead. Fruits, celery.
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C.V.
answers from
Grand Rapids
on
Hi B.,
I think that you should do what you are doing, give him a healthy snack and then at dinner have him sit with you and you husband and eat what he wants. Toddlers tummies are tiny so usually they will eat a lot of little meals (at least mine both did). Good luck.
Chris
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E.W.
answers from
Detroit
on
B.
This is not uncommon. I think he needs the snack obviously....why not push dinner back 30-45 minutes? Our family eats dinner normally closer to 7pm now and the kids could never wait until 6pm to eat they need their snack right after school, naps whatever. Eat later for a week and see if that works rather than bail on the precious time you share as a family together at dinner.
good luck
E.
nursery times day care
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B.S.
answers from
Grand Rapids
on
If this were my child I would give him some fresh veggies for two reasons. First they are healthier than carbohydrates and second they digest so much faster that he may be hungry still by dinner. I would also maybe give him a little snack like that before his nap so when he gets up he's not sooo hungry. Just an idea
B.
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H.S.
answers from
Detroit
on
I have almost the same situation going on at home with my daughter who is 3. Our house is miserable if she gets hungry or tired, so I try to prevent both. A small snack when he wakes up will take the edge off without ruining his appetite. I give my daughter 1 or 2 graham crackers and then tell her we are going to eat soon, so she can have more after dinner. For most kids, if you give them a little something to raise their blood sugar, they can function more rationally. Once you have fullfilled that need, make sure you follow through with your "no more" once you have said it. Otherwise he will think you don't mean what you say.
As far as eating as a family, it is very important. At 1 1/2 you are setting the foundation for rules later on. Studies show that families that eat together uninterupted by phones T.V.' ect. tend to communicate better and have a closer relationship. While I admit we don't always eat at the table, I try very hard to eat at the table most of the time so my daughter doesn't start bad habits early.
It is really common for kids to have low blood sugar at that time of the day ecspecially when they are still napping late in the afternoon and can't have a little snack earlier in the afternoon.
Good luck!
H.
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M.C.
answers from
Detroit
on
B.,
I think it would be a good idea to have your day care provider give him a snack maybe 1/2 hr before you pick him up. Maybe a snack with protein so he stays full a little longer. It's too long to go from lunch to dinner without a snack.
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K.W.
answers from
Detroit
on
B., I have a 3 year old boy and 1 year old girl. It's totally normal and I would probably say necessary for kids this age to snack. But I know the frustration you are feeling as I go through this a lot with my 3 year old and have since about 1 1/2. Remeber they have very small stomachs so eating small quantities often works the best for them. So as far as the snacking goes just try to make them as healthy as possible knowing they may not eat dinner as well and you can still limit the amount they have at snack time. I had to really put a stop to the cracker snacking because there is such limited nutritional value. Try yogurts, cottage cheese, fruit etc. He still may not eat as much dinner as you like but you can feel better that he had something nutritious earlier. You can probably expect this to go on for a while but I wouldn't give up on dinner time. Consistency is good and it sets a great example. Good luck!
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L.B.
answers from
Detroit
on
You don't have to give up on the family dinner, just realize it takes some babies a while to learn how it works. Our 14 month old is the same way. By dinner he isn't hungry, but I put him in his highchair with some fruit and milk. He is content to be with us and "listen" to conversation and our interaction. As his stomach gets bigger and snacks last longer, he'll start eating at dinner time.
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M.S.
answers from
Grand Rapids
on
I go through the same thing as you do. I have a 2 yr. old and a 7 yr. old. They both want to eat around 4 as well. I let them have a small snack(baggie of cheese crackers, yogurt, etc.) just to get rid of the strong hunger feeling they may be having. I am finding that with that they are still ready to eat a good dinner at about 6 with the family. I try to just remind myself that even though they whine that they are starving, they really aren't. And that a snack will at least tide them over until meal time. That makes me also feel like I'm not being so cruel...lol. Hope this helps out alittle.
M.
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R.W.
answers from
Detroit
on
I had the same proplem with my boys ages 17mths and 2 1/2 years old. When I moved dinner up to 4:30, they ate dinner great. I sometimes will just have a salad with them then eat dinner with my husband when he gets home. Another option is to give some veggie sticks to try and hold them off plus get the veggies in. I know it ruins family dinner having it so early but it was worth it to have them actually eat dinner rather than snacks. Hope this helps!
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H.H.
answers from
Detroit
on
Our rule is fruits and veggies are always allowed. That way, if they fill up before dinner at least it was something good for them.
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M.C.
answers from
Grand Rapids
on
My son (18 months) does the same thing when he gets up from his nap between 4:30 & 5:00. I usually give him a small snack when he wakes up - something that is good for him, but also will help him to make it until dinner. I have given him string cheese, fruit, a couple of crackers, and things like that. It's really hard to hold him off, so I know your frustration!
We usually eat dinner between 5:30 & 6:00, so if dinner is going to be closer to 6:00, I will sometimes give the kids part of dinner (usually the veggies so that they'll actually eat them!) a little early. My daughter is 3 1/2 and she loves it when I give them veggies with a little bit of dip. (I will often color it with a little food coloring - she loves it!) For my son, I will cut the veggies into bit size pieces and only give him a little dip or he'll end up wearing it!
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M.K.
answers from
Detroit
on
Since there is no set cardinal rule that children HAVE to eat dinner at the same time as the parents, it's okay to have your baby eat the meal before you and your husband. To give him a feeling that he's not eating alone, have a little bit of your dinner along with him; that way you're not full when it's time to eat dinner with your husband. Your son can then sit in his highchair/boosterseat with a toy.
Things don't have to be done in a certain way when the kids are so young. All they know is that they are hungry. You can all then have dessert together. As he gets older, you can begin shifting his dinnertime a little later.
You're a really great mom to consider his needs. You're doing great! Much better than me when my kids were little.
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A.L.
answers from
Grand Rapids
on
Give a healthy snack and don't worry. My daughter is four and I let her eat when she's hungry. Kids won't starve.
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J.S.
answers from
Grand Rapids
on
try something like a fruit snack or celery with peanut butter, it is satisfying at the time and will not fill him up after it settles on his syatem, also yogurt is good too.
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S.F.
answers from
Detroit
on
We have been going through the same type of thing. When the kids get home from school at 3:30 they are starving but by dinnertime at 6 they don't want to eat, but by bedtime they are "starving" again. So, my DH and I decided to feed the kids dinner after school (a little bit more planning and work for me) and then when DH gets home around 6, they have dessert or some kind of snack while we eat. It's only been a week, but it seems to be working. I'm a SAHM so I can usually put something together, but I'm not sure if this would work on the daycare days for you. I hope you get this worked out. I have 6 kids and I was always so frustrated after spending time cooking a healthy dinner and no one wanted to eat it. Good luck!!!
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S.A.
answers from
Detroit
on
B.-
Let him eat when he is hungry. I understand that family meals are important, however, he is only 1.5 years old and there are many family meals in the future. When he gets up you are better off giving him dinner and have him eat dessert with the rest of the family at meal time.
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L.J.
answers from
Detroit
on
My 18-month old son is on the same schedule and not in daycare. I'd feed him dinner when he wakes up so that he is getting good nutrition not sugar loaded snacks. At our dinner we just let him eat what he will eat but keep him in his highchair through dinner for the family time. He is usually back to bed by 7:30 and still nursing. I'd consider the NEW WAP forum on Yahoo! Groups for superior info on feeding children, you'll get great ideas on healthy snacks and quality meals.
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L.C.
answers from
Grand Rapids
on
B. N.,
First of all, I would pray and ask God to give you ideas on what snacks to give your son and how much. He knows your son even better than you do and knows what textures and tastes he likes best. Ask God for ideas on how much and you should experiment with amounts until you get the right one that will help him to wait for supper until your husband is ready to eat.
My suggestion is to cut your son's snack amount intake down and experiment with the amount until you find the right amount that will satisfy his ravenous hunger but still allow him to eat supper with the family. You may just be allowing him to eat too much quantity and it takes the stomach 20 minutes from the time we eat (I learned this in Weight Watchers and certified dieticians confirm it) until it gives the message to the brain that we are full. This is why it is so important to eat slowly even as adults because by the time our brain knows we had enough, if we eat fast, we ate too much. Portion control is so important and you may not already know that each person's (animal's stomach the size of a paw) stomach is only the size of the fist of that person's hand. This means that we don't ever want to put more in there than it holds without stretching because that is what causes people/animals to gain weight. Being overweight is one of the top causes of health problems and portion control is what I hear mentioned in everything pertaining to obesity.
You should be able to distract your son with a toy he likes after he eats just a very small snack. His body is growing a lot at that age and that may be why he is so hungry. Most little ones only eat what they need, but he won't eat supper with the family because his body does not require any more.
I would also go to a website about nutrition and kids and do a little research about eating habits and bodily needs for his age (if you have time when caring for one so young).
Your son will learn in time that meal time is when Dad gets home from work. Being together as a family is so important because that is when we connect to each other again and the kids learn they have value to you parents when you sit down at the dinner table and eat a meal as a family unit.
Eating together as a family unit is seldom done by many families because we live in such a fast-paced lifestyle nowadays. When I was a child (and I am 53) the majority of families sat down to eat together as a family unit, but now it seems to be a rarity.
L. C.
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L.C.
answers from
Saginaw
on
If what he's eating is healthy food, who cares what time it happens at?
As Jerry Seinfeld mused: there's always another appetite coming along soon, so ruining this one won't matter.
I found that handing the kids part of what I was preparing for dinner (carrots I'd just chopped up, or some of the cheese I was grating), they'd be eating 'dinner' anyhow, even if it was early.
Many mothers find that the intervals between adult meals is too far for children, and having a prepared snack both mid-morning and mid-afternoon takes care of the problem. Little children's tummies are too small to eat 5 or 6 hours of energy in one sitting.
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J.R.
answers from
Grand Rapids
on
Just before dinner, when my 3 yr old is really hungry, is the perfect time to get in some veggies that he may otherwise not eat! Then, if he picks around at dinner, at least I have peace of mind that he has had a healthy snack.
J. R.
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M.B.
answers from
Kalamazoo
on
Your time frame of when it is time to eat is not the same as your childs. Make him a mini meal or left overs from the night before. Have him sit at the table for "family" time when the family eats. Gradually bring the time of his snack later in the evening. When he is a bit older he may be able to wait and eat diner after having a small snack in the afternoon. Each child is different and their hunger is different. If you child is not overweight, then he needs to eat when he is hungry. He can learn to wait for dinner as he gets a little older.
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N.D.
answers from
Detroit
on
What time do you put him down for his nap and how long does he sleep? Perhaps try putting him down earlier or waking him up earlier. If he is sleeping until 4:30/5, what time does he go to bed at night?
Also, while his mind thinks he is starving, his body does not always agree. At 1-1/2 yrs., he does not need to eat a whole stack of graham crackers or two cereal bars.
Try giving him 1 cereal bar, or just a few graham crackers, or a piece of fruit. Maybe a slice of bread with peanut butter, which will make him feel full sooner. Give him milk/formula.
If your hubby is home at 6, perhaps you might want to have dinner at 7? Unless he is one of those men who insist on dinner being ready when he walks in the door, maybe he would like to relax for an hour before sitting down to eat.
As for a family meal, at that age it is really not a big deal. Growing up, we rarely ate with my dad as he was either traveling or going to school. I do not recall him eating dinner with us until I was in jr. high and high school.
Also, while we did eat as a family at that point, We ate on TV trays in front of the TV. We still managed to have family time, even though we did not all sit down at the table together to eat. This is one rule I don't feel is necessary to have a good family life! I am still close to my parents and brother, and always expect to be!
Hope some of these suggestions help!
N.
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V.G.
answers from
Grand Rapids
on
My duaghters were in a day care situation for an hour a day, just a couple days a week, from 4:00 to 5:00 when I picked them. Because I would have to cook dinner when I got home on those nights, I gave them a small snack on the road home. I would recommend just giving your son smaller snacks to hold him over. Instead of a stack of graham crackers just give him 1 or 2, or 1 cereal bar instead of 2. Yes, he'll still be hungry but he's going to be eating a full meal within 90 minutes anyway - which is probably healthier than those snacks. You'll curb some of the hunger but not ruin the meal. Not only that, but you'll be less likely to have an obese child later on. It's important to have that family sit down meal, and if you give it up now, you may never get it back later.
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R.A.
answers from
Detroit
on
Hello B.,
Here's some of my thoughts! You obvious know your child well. You have probably offered him food before nap and he obviously doesn't want it and even if he did he would still wake up starving. So you have found the obvious response feed him on his demand. I truly feel they know when they are hunger and they know their limits. Perhaps you could try having your meal made and when he wakes up feed him his and then when your husband gets home the two of you can sit down and enjoy a meal together. Heck your little one might even rejoin and nibble a bit more!! Or maybe you can try eating just a little later 6:30 or 7 -- if your child is anything like mine he "snacks" all day and would probably be hungry again 11/2 - 2 hours later. I try to have a breakfast, lunch and maybe even a dinner but sometime my boys and I just eat on demand. I will usually try to have a least one "real" meal per day though... but again if we don't we still have eaten. I think sometimes we get stuck in what we think were suppose to do as parents opposed to what really works for your individual family. I think the main thing is that we learn to trust our kids inner mechanisms (like when to eat) and maybe tweek our schedules to them or better yet just allow the family to beat to their own timing. anyway, I don't think you have to abolish your want for a family meal , maybe just accept that your little boy may opt out. The important thing is he see daddy and you sitting and enjoying each other company and everyone is happy. Because on the flip side if you decided to 'force' this issue you may have a fight on your hands and this isn't very peaceful and is it really worth fighting over???? My thoughts for the day I hope they made sense.