There has been a major reorginzation at my place of work, and, now, through a strange series of events, my ex boyfriend is now my "interim boss." We had been at the same level in the orgnization before, but in different divisions. Somehow, even though I have more years of experience and more education, he made $14,000 more than me (before he was the interim).
Now - he is my interim boss and we work closely together. I come up with all of the ideas and all of the plans, and he goes to meetings and proposes the plans, and everyone is thrilled. He then comes back and says how happy everyone was, says "good job" and then gives me the work to complete the plan.
While I am not crazy about him getting all the credit for my ideas and plans, I was ok with it until now. We've just found out that the "boss" position will be posted, and so people can apply and it will become permanent (with a larger salary). Although I dont think I would be the best person for the job, I definitely think I am equally, if not more, qualified than my ex and will probably apply.
If I continue to prep him for all of his meetings, sometimes even providing talking points and notes for him (sometimes he says "Write that down so that I can say it at the meeting), he will continue to look like the golden boy in front of the people on the interview committee. In addition, when I go into the interview with my plans and ideas, they will just look at me, like "why are you coming in here reciting someone else's plans?" because they attribute them to my boss.
I'm also irked that he makes more money than me even though our organization is supposed to have a standard, tiered, pay scale, and will make EVEN MORE money than me if he is hired be my boss.
If I DONT continue to prep him, the work of our department will suffer and the people who depend on us will be let down. Not doing the best job I can to, in effect, sabotage someone else goes completely against my nature. I've even tried to keep my ideas and opinions to myself but I just cant help it.
What would you do?
I would learn to "help it" and keep my ideas to myself and present them at the interview. That's the only way you're going to be recognized for your contributions.
By the way, if your company has a tiered salary scale, I would be looking in to why the male with less seniority and experience is making more than the female with more seniority and experience. Could be some sort of discrimination going on.
How about last minute some time off just before a big meeting so he can prep himself? lol
If something is said about you presenting his ideas, tie in your expereince, background and education to the idea. Present another idea to another problem... past or present and how it can or was implemented.
How can they attribute all the ideas to him when you work on his team? You still have ideas. Be confident of your abilities and use them!
Either you are going help yourself or your ex. It is your choice.
Start by making a paper trail of this. Don't do phone or in-person conversations, or if you do, follow them up with an e-mail restating, "I just wanted to put into writing the ideas we discussed in your office, that you'll be presenting at the meeting: X, Y, Z. And here are the talking points for each of these: A, B, C."
Print out these and take them to HR and share your deep concerns.
Put everything in email and make sure the ideas you are presenting come from your desktop.
An "e-trail" is very powerful. I'm experiencing some work issues as well and have started to document EVERYTHING...it kinda sucks but in the end it will prove (if needed) that all the ideas originated with you.
As for doing "less quality work" - well - that's a tough one. I"m also in the same boat and while I"ve been asked to put forth and do things I cannot completely agree with - I make my own notes, store them away and proceed.
Good luck!
L.
My dear you have come full circle with the emotions on this work situation.
I think this anger and hostility were long coming. It has been very difficult for you to work with this man and now he is taking all your credit and makes more money. Ouch!
I agree with the others on the paper/email trail. That way anyone interested can see that the ideas did originate from you.
I applaud you for keeping your cool and staying professional through all of this. I bet you are selling yourself short on the "I don't think I would be the best person for the job" If you are already the one with all the ideas and all the plans, why are you not the person for the job?
Keep your head up kiddo and apply for the bosses position. I will keep my fingers crossed and say some additional prayers for you. YOU CAN DO IT!!
Blessings!
D.
I think I would start prepping for a job search. Throw your name in the hat for the position, but there's a good chance that your ex is going to get it since they've seen "his" onsite peformance in the position. If he wins, then I don't see how you can be happy working under him long term.
Sounds like you work for a company like mine, where if one "stands to pee" they make a bigger salary, although they might not deserve it or be qualified for it. If you are truly concerned about your department suffering rather than his getting ahead, then pull him aside and let him know how you feel. Otherwise, look for a transfer somewhere else in the company
Keep an ongoing journal of your basic until fruition ideas, add notes as you go along, keep it on some type of electronic device as well as in your own handwriting, these things WILL stand up even in a court of law. My DH's work journal saved him & about 20 other men that he was the foreman of in a suit filed by the employer.
Start NOW...
Good luck!
What would be the right thing to do if it was anyone else as your boss?
Hey there, I totally remember your first post about this. Interesting turn of events.
I would start accompanying the pitches/meetings. If asked to prep talking points, simply say, "As any good boss knows, interim or not, developing the skills of the employee is key. I want to continue to improve on my presentation skills and would like to be the one to present ideas at meetings this month." If he says, no. Talk to the boss above him that he is not supporting your growth and ability to improve in the company and that it is concerning to you what the future holds for your department, etc.
Of course a tactful way. Maybe even talk to boss above him first. "Hey joe, I wasn't sure if this was an interim boss or real boss conversation. I want to start presenting my own ideas at the meetings during this interim time. It would help to strengthen my skills and since I prep bob (interm guy) on all the meeting points, I thought it might be best just to be the point person on these three upcoming meetings." See how it flies Interms are just that - they deserve a level of respect, help during transition and keep things moving forward. Don't allow him to steal all the thunder:)
BEST of luck!!
Is there someone else in the company you can have this discussion with? HR, another supervisor you trust, etc? And just be candid and straightforward like you were in your question to us? At least about the part about the ideas being yours, you prepping him for meetings etc (would probably leave the salary part out at that stage) Seems like that would lay the groundwork for the interview process when he tries to take your ideas. And I would also do what a previous poster suggested and keep a detailed journal. Good luck!!
As I read your situation and the comments, what I don't understand is why you haven't gone in to present in these meetings with him? Also, if there is an idea that you haven't discussed, prepare it and present that at your interview.
Do the people who are congratulating him not remember he has a whole team behind him?
Tough situation. I wish you lots of luck.
