Putting 3 Month Old on a Schedule

Well, I used this book as well. It really helped with my firstborn. It is a reference to "help" get ideas and solutions. But like anything "adapt" it for your baby. Yes, your baby is only 3 months old.. still "new" and needs to be fed on demand etc. They need nourishment when they need it.
He's still young... give it time.

But, at 3 months old, a baby also goes through growth spurts (ie: they get hungrier more often and need to feed more often) and they also go through growth changes and cognitive changes as well. THIS does interrupt their usual pattern of sleep. So bear that in mind. But it will return to more regularity. It's a phase. But you need to adjust to that too. For example, when my babies went through changes like that, I DID get up during the night and addressed what they needed and/or fed them too. I never with-held a feeding or withheld picking them up in the middle of the night if that is what they needed.

Infants go through lots of changes...but consistency helps. They are growing and changing so much each month, and every week...no sleep pattern will be absolutely static.

A "schedule" does not have to be "strict." It's mainly important to have a routine. But if you keep to a "routine" and consistency....it DOES help in the long run. I learned that with both of my children. Think long term. So anything or any routine you start now... will contribute to long term ease of putting them to sleep/nap, later.

A "schedule" to me, means... having regularity in pre-sleep/nap routines... and the time you put them down. And there will be times when it has to be adjusted.

For me for example: my baby wakes, I give him his milk, play or awake time, then give him his milk, go to nap. There is a window of about 2-3 hours in between, of "awake" time, before they get tired again. My boy, wakes up about 6:30 in the morning, and then naps at 9:30 (he naps for 2 hours), then he naps again in the afternoon at 2:30 (he naps for 2 hours). 2 naps total. Then at night he goes to bed at 8:00-8:30. He still does this even though he is now 20 months old. He is now so used to his "routine" that he does not protest when he goes to nap or sleep, and sometimes he will even "tell" me when it's nap/sleep time and will start going about his routine. He will take my hand and take me downstairs, get his stuffed cow he sleeps with, lies down on the living room pillows (this is where I then read to him for about 10 minutes or let him watch his favorite "Little Bear" DVD),give him his milk, and then I change his diaper, and then pick him up, go into the bedroom, make the room dark, put on a fan on low, sing him the same 2 songs while holding him, put him down in his crib while still awake, then put up the railing, walk out of the room, and close the door. Done. This is just my routine, and it works so well with my son. BUT IT HAS EVOLVED OVER TIME. It's not perfect from the start... it evolves. You have to see what works and what doesn't. But, with each "new" thing you try, give it time. A lot of it is also trial and error.

But again, his sleep patterns went through bumps in the road too... at developmental changes, and so we just adapt through it.

But yes, it takes time. Each baby is different. Just keep trying with a routine that works for you both. But a baby WILL get used to a routine... they will begin to "know" what to expect and what is going to happen next. My firstborn on the other hand, was much more spirited, so it took time in getting her into a routine. But as she got older, and I kept regular about it... she "settled" into it.

If he's starting to wake more at night...maybe he is hungry. And if he is hungry, feed him. He is growing and changing. 3 months old is a time when this happens. It will pass. A baby will go through lots of sleep pattern changes... it is not static..but you can get them to be more regular...while addressing their needs. For myself, I don't believe in with-holding feedings just to get them "used to it, in order to sleep longer" kind of thing.

See what works for you. I know it's not always easy. Perhaps your baby is just wanting to spend more time with you after you get home from work, and so he isn't settling down so quickly at bed time? Perhaps, he is having a growth spurt and is hungry and needs to feed more? Sometimes too, if they are "over-tired" it is actually harder for them to fall asleep. Does he nap during the day?

All the best,
~Susan

L.,
I'd start by throwing that book out the window. Just kidding! I tried the strict schedule thing with my first daugther due to advice from MIL for whom it worked. The result was the same as yours. The difference was her kids were bottle-fed and she didn't mind them crying. From my experience, I'd ease off the schedule. It's more important to have a ROUTINE and follow the routine everyday. If baby sleeps late one morning, it's ok that her routine is shifted a little. But follow the same activity you do every morning with her. Babies don't look at the clock, you don't need to either.

Hi L.! In my experience with my 2 children (3yrs old and 3 months old), it is best to let them figure out their own schedules. I found that all on their own they would eat at the same tmes and sleep at the same times of day. I think that infants are happiest when they sleep and eat on their terms. It is not until they are a bit older that they need to really follow schedules. If you already had a peaceful sleeper, I wouldn't interupt that. Your son was happy the way things were. You will know when it is best to use a strict schedule. If your son starts to get cranky at certain times of day bacause he needs a nap, that is when it is time to follow a schedule.

I thought this site was very insightful

http://www.drjaygordon.com/development/ap/sleep.asp

i think it's important to keep in mind that children thrive on routine, not necessarily strict schedules. when there is a change (like you going back to work) they will react. in many different ways and for different things.

also, things change so much in the 1st year. when you think you've got something down, something else happens and it's time to adjust again. teething or growth spurts will affect sleep patterns too. good luck, and trust your instincts.

my daughter did well with the strict schedual (which i choose do do on my own and everyone told me that they dont need to be schedualed). you have to do the same thing basically day in day out. what i would suggest (im not saying to totally change your schedual cause i dont know when your son wakes in the morning) is about 3 hours after he wakes (and is up for the day) put him down for a nap then about 3 hours after he wakes after that put him down for another nap. it helped with my daughter (who by 3 1/2mo was sleeping in her own room) to put her in her crib for naps. i also propped a bottle up for her (i know some moms wont do that so maybe offer a paci if you use them). also maybe put your baby in a different position (on their tummy or side). does your baby have any crib toys (mobile or somethings that hangs on the crib rail). people said i had my daughter over schedualed when i was really following her schedual. my baby was up at 7a she got a bath and ate. then played till 10a and got a bottle to goto bed with. then got lunch when she woke and played for about 3 hours and got another bottle to goto bed with. then i would wake her up at 5 if she wasnt up by then (i never let my baby sleep past 5p) and she would eat dinner then about 8p she would get a bottle and put in bed (i would go in her room about 1 1/2hours later abd get the bottle. that worked really well for her but it may not be the best for your son. just give it time. i started my schedualing my baby from the day i brought her home. good luck and dont give up!

Hi L., I don't think you can put a baby on a strict schdule,how ever you can have a schdule, with some flexability. Trying to hold yoursef and your baby to strict schdule, will frustrate the both of you. If you wnt you baby to sleep through the night then give him some rice cereal right before bedtime, a time you choose, then rock him into a peaceful, and he will have a peacful night, and so will you, I did this with all 3 of mine, and the only time it was rough was when they were teething or something like that, Babies eating and sleep patterns change to much as they grow to have a strict schdule, you will be changing that strict schdule every couple months, how strict is that? organize your day L. and add at least 30 minutes of me time for you, more if you can but start with about 30 minutes,and go from there, I know this works because I have been a mom for 24 years. J.

Hiya L.:
Hmmm Sounds like the (Baby whisperer) Caused more trouble than it was worth. Can you get your money back? lol Kidding aside,It sounds to me, that you were doing much better on your own.Thats why, I've always believed that us mothers, try and use our instincts,and common sense,before believing alot of that gibberish out there.Believe it or not, your baby senses the changes around him. He can even sense,when your up tight after A day at work.Attempting to change his schedule,now, when he is coping with time spent away from you, may be asking a bit much.Give him some time to ajust,to changes. The very best to you and your baby.

Routines are great, until they get disrupted...=) My daughter had a routine change at three months, six months, and 9 months. So far we are doing ok at 13months, but there were times I wanted to tear out my hair trying to keep up with her. Good luck
R.

It's my opinion that that book is dangerous. 3 mo. old is way too early to be put on a schedule. What a 3 mo. old needs is for Mommy to be responsive to his/her needs and make sure that those needs are met on demand. Early in a child's development is when that critical trust is being formed between mother and child.

I started trying to get my son to adapt more to a schedule (I did *not* force him to go on a strict schedule) when he was 8 mo. old. I did this by rocking him at certain times to encourage him to sleep. I didn't leave him alone in a crib to cry it out.

I want my son to feel that he can trust me in any situation. Maybe someday when he is considering doing drugs or having unprotected sex, that trust in me will enable him to come to me for advice and support.

Dr. Jim Sears has a great book on sleep.