On the 23rd of this month, we took our son to The University of Iowa Hospital in Iowa City, Iowa for a day's worth of tests to be done to determine whether or not he has a congenital heart defect which is genetic through his father- was born with tetrology of the fallot, was repaired through emergency open heart surgery when he was 10 months old. ANYWAYS! The nurse 1st directs us to this cubby hole-type room to be weighed and measured for his height. The nurse of course wanted me to get my son naked and put a clean diaper on him so it wouldnt effect the accuracy of his weight (I had JUST changed him!!). I turned around to draw the curtain.... BUT THERE WAS NO CURTAIN!!! I asked her to direct me to a private room to change him, she relies that it's not necessary. I looked her square in the face and asked her since when do HIPPA laws, privacy and DIGNITY NOT apply to babies??? She then tried to argue with me, but I simply stated that- this will either happen MY way, or it won't happen at all.... Take your pick. So she led me to a private room.
WAS I WRONG FOR INSISTING PRIVACY AND DIGNITY FOR MY BABY??? IS IT WRONG THAT I WORRY ABOUT THIS???
Hayden has a benign heart murmur, but there's no reason to believe with time he won't grow out of this. The cardiologist did suggest that if he still has his murmur in a year they'd like to see him again, but i think i'll go to blank childnren's hospital in des moines instead.
I believe there is a difference between him underssing himself in the privacy of his home, when he makes it out the door naked is another issue. My concern is the random people walking by ( and I say random because, despite the fact that they are not there out of coinsidence, they are complete strangers to me and my family) one must worry about predators slipping by and snapping quick pictures of an unsuspecting baby then posting it on the internet where other predators can download pics for personal use. He may not have a concept of modesty, but after working in a nursing home with unsuspecting elderly folks, I know how important it is to keep their dignity intact.
the nurse did not lead us to a room, it was like an open area, that is where my problem lies. there was no door, and no curtain. had a curtain been there i would not have mentioned anything.
I'm with you H.. Just because it's a child does not mean it doesn't qualify for privacy. I too would have insisted on a private area to change my child.
Frankly, I think you're making a HUGE deal out of nothing. Your son has real health issues, which is what I would focus on instead of worrying about someone seeing your son naked. Hospitals aren't filled with camera-wielding predators just waiting for someone to take a baby's diaper off, they are filled with professionals who are there to do their jobs.
BTW, HIPPA laws have nothing to do with naked privacy, they have to do with the privacy of your personal health records and information.
I think you over-reacted, both at the hospital and in using all caps(shouting) in your question. Children don't develop privacy issues until they're 4-6. Do you think your baby really cares who sees his willy? Why do YOU care about this? I honestly don't know how to violate an infant's "privacy". They strip when the learn how, run naked through the house and out the door if you're not careful, and look at each other's parts when they get a little older. Relax, please.You have many years of mommyhood ahead of you. This is a non-issue.
I don't think it's that big of a deal. I change my girls wherever we happen to be. You can't look at the world through negative eyes all the time. It will make you (and your child) a neurotic mess. If you were in a cubby hole type room, couldn't you have just blocked him with your body?
I do think the nurse was a bit unprofessional though. If you requested a more private area, she should have directed you to one with out arguing.
You're not "wrong" for insisting, or wrong for worrying if it's that important to you.
Honestly, if it was me, I would have changed him quickly and quietly. How long would he have been exposed? 10 seconds? 20 seconds?
I guess--if we're reaching for it here--that a child predator could have snapped a picture in 20 seconds, but that's kind of like looking up the whole time you're walking on a sidewalk "in case" a piano is hovering above & ready to fall, don't you think?
Also, HIPPA is a law regarding medical information privacy, not hey-nani-nani privacy. I'll bet the nurse & her friends got a chuckle out of that conversation over lunch!
BUT--at the end of the day--it was your decision and you were accommodated so what's the real issue here?
I am sorry, coming from both sides of the spectrum, Most nurse's are concern about your baby's condition and the procedures that surround it. You are there for your baby and not for your convenience. They need accurate measurements to give accurate medications. Most peds meds are weight based. They do not do things to purposely to inconvenience you. What if your baby need to go to surgery ASAP. Because he might start having decreased tissue perfusion due to the decrease cardiac output..... I am a mom, and an icu nurse, too. Your priority is your baby's condition.
To me, reading your message, it sounds like the stress of the situation had really gotten to you.
I was working in physician offices when HIPPA was enacted - it is a privacy law related to your records and your name, but it doesn't cover issues related to modesty. Really, it means that no one can access your personal health records that you haven't given express written consent to your physician.
I, personally, would not have had the same reaction. Though I am personally modest, I have had more than my fair share of visits with physicians in recent years and have learned that they're not interested in anything other than getting the vitals and making him well.
You're certainly entitled to your own feelings related to modesty, and it's not my place to impose my opinion on you. But, at that age, his ability to understand modesty is non-existent.
If you have to do it again, I'd just take into consideration how your stress might affect him and ask ahead if you can have things in a manner that's more preferable to you.
Good luck - I hope he continues to do well.
You're not wrong.
But I think you're seriously overreacting.
I think you seriously overreacted! HIPPA is to keep your medical records private it has nothing to do w/ you having to change your baby's diaper in private.There is a big difference between working in a nursing home and respecting elderly people's right (like closing a curtain when dressing them) and changing a baby's diaper to weigh them. I changed my children's diapers in public all the time because 1. I find bathroom changing tables disgusting and 2. they are babies. I think you have a problem if you are constantly worried about people snapping nude pictures of your baby and leaking them all over the internet. Most acts like this are not done by complete strangers you have better chance of a family member or close friend doing this. Take a deep breath and relax a little or your child will grow up anxious and fearful of everything.
Having been to the very same hospital for several ultrasounds when they thought my in utero baby had a heart problem, I am pretty sure I know to which "cubby hole-type room" you are referring. Someone would need to be seriously skulking around and searching for a photo op to catch your son naked for the very brief time it would take to get his measurements. No, you are not wrong to insist on privacy but I think you went overboard. Ditto on what everyone else said about HIPPA.
This is really up to you and your beliefs. He is not old enough to have his own so standing up for your own and what you would want is not wrong. I can see both points; however, being in health care if someone wants more privacy it is our job to provide it. And if you are htat upset call the hospital and talk to a patient advicate so this can be corrected in that institute.
Your doctor sent you there for a reason and to disreguard that reason for this when it is fixable is a shame. Please do not let the extent of care he can get be hurt by a person like that.
I don't necessarily think that you were wrong, but you may have over reacted a little. It is not wrong to ask for a private place to change your child, if that is what you believe is necessary. You didn't mention how old your son is, but a friend and I did a 5k this weekend, and right before the start, she smelled her daughter's diaper. Down to the ground she went to do a quick change.
Like I said, it isn't wrong, but the HIPPA argument was incorrect. All you needed to say is that you would prefer a private place to change your child. I'm sure that her reaction would have been different.
it seems a little odd to me. He is a baby, at a hospital, getting naked to get weighed. If it was your older child (aware of privacy issues) then maybe I would have spoke up.
Just strip your child to the diaper, then when they come to weigh him, whisk the diaper off, when they are done, put the diaper back on.
When my son was in PICU he was naked with a catheter and a whole slew of tubes coming out of him. So were the other 5 kids in his room. I thought nothing of it. And he sat there for 4 weeks, naked as the day he was born.
I guess it is all a personal issue, but I think you over reacted personally. A baby has no shame, until we teach them too. I think your son will learn to feel shame of his body very well and very young. My boys are 5 and 6, and I let them play in the mud just the other day in their underwear. They are kids, they have no reason to be embarrassed. If you feel you need privacy, than whatever, but this has nothing to do with dignity, he is a baby and being changed in front of medical personnel in no way would be a violation of his dignity.
Only read a few other post, and I have to agree. I personally think you went way overboard. We all get what it's like to have to change our little ones in public and you make the best out of it, you stand in the way of their private area or use a burp cloth or blanket you probably had with you, or you could have just asked for something to cover them with and the nurse probably would have gladly done that as well.
As others have said HIPPA had nothing to do with this, that is all about your personal info and the hospital not giving it out. It's very stressful to be in a situation like this with your child, but it doesn't give, not just you but anyone reading this, the right to be nasty to another person, take a deep breath and try to be nice.
Also you can't exactly get upset with the things people are telling you because you did ask for opinions.
It's not 'wrong' that you worry about it! Having your baby about to have a invasive surgical procedure on his HEART, is just about THE most stressful moment a mother can go through. If I were that nurse, I would've understood your stress at that moment and found a way to accomodate you.
However, a naked baby backside is a common sight (and a pleasant one)!
Deep breaths, mom.
I'm glad he's ok, it won't be the last time you're a screaming banshee to get what you feel is right for your child!! Good for you!
I have to say I would have requested a private area as well if the area we were in could be viewed by other visitors to the hospital. If it was just medical personnel I wouldn't have been too concerned but there are far too many weirdos out there. If I have to change my daughter in the car when we are in a parking lot I make sure that she stays covered at all times during the change.
Dear H.,
I don't think either you or the nurse is really wrong. If you are concerned about privacy and dignity for your son, then you have a right to request a private room. But I do think you need to recognize that for the majority of parents, changing a child who's that young in public really *isn't* an issue. If it was, this nurse wouldn't have been taken by surprise by your reaction.
What I really want to say, though, is that it's natural and understandable to be concerned about child predators, but honestly, the statistical likelihood of a child pornographer hanging out in a hospital, photographing infants/toddlers, and posting those pictures on the Internet is really, really minimal. It's probably less likely than being struck by lightning. You're at far, far less risk of this ever happening than you are of a fatal accident every time you get in a car -- but chances are, you still drive.
I do NOT want mock your concerns at all, or make you feel bad for having them. As parents, when we hear about these things happening, it's completely natural and understandable to react with alarm. But I do think it's important to step back from what scares us the most and take a more detached, scientific look at how likely things really are to occur. Child predators (and there are fewer child predators out there than many people believe) very seldom prey on total strangers. I mean, these people often can't contain their urges long enough to FIND a total stranger. Instead, they prey on people they know. So, to the extent that children are at risk, they're at risk from acquaintances: relatives; teachers, coaches, etc.; friends of family.
I know this is long and it gets away from the issue of this nurse, but it's important to me to say that when we protect our children from unlikely occurrences, we put them at risk from *likely* occurrences. I mean, very few parents today let their grade-school-age kids run around on their own because of fear of predators, even though the likelihood of anything happening is very low. But what happens to these kids as a result of this misplaced fear? They stay home. They don't get enough exercise, and they suffer lifelong obesity as a result. They watch too much TV, and they never develop a healthy attention span. Or maybe, best-case-scenario, they're in one structured activity after another, and they never develop the imagination, social skills, or sense of confidence/competence that kids get from outdoor, unstructured play.
I understand where you're coming from, I really do, but one of these days, your son is going to go to school without you there. Sometime after that, he's going to spend a night away from home. And hard as it is, these vital steps toward independence and adulthood mean that you have to step back, take a deep breath, and have a little more trust in the world.
Best wishes,
Mira
I don't think there was anything wrong with you insisting on privacy for your child.
Unless you're an attorney or someone familiar with medical privacy laws I wouldn't worry too much about incorrectly citing HIPAA (which other posts seem to have seized upon as evidence of your unreasonableness). The general point was that you wanted privacy for your baby and there is NOTHING wrong with that (and congrats to you for having the "nerve" to demand it).
People in the health care profession need to understand that we patients are weary of being treated like cattle herded to slaughter. At least I know I am.
It's bad enough to have to worry about your child's health issues - to have to battle with (what sounds like) an indignant nurse over something that could be easily accommodated seems silly to me.
Patients (and their parents) have rights, thoughts and feelings too. A little empathy goes a LONG way sometimes.
I think you totally overreacted and that you don't have a clear understanding of HIPPA. And as far as a child predator lurking around the hospital to take pictures of your baby, it makes me wonder why you even bother to leave your house? Sure, any thing's possible but do you really want to live your life that way?
Good for you. Shame on her! If more people would stand up, this would not happen.
Is Hayden named after the former University of Iowa football coach? Maybe it's just a weird coincidence that you were at UofI and that's his name. People loved that coach. Anyhow, despite your issues with the area, you are at an excellent hospital and I wish you all the best for your baby.
I think I probably would have just held him in his diaper, stripped him and blocked him with my body and then put the diaper back on after they were done. But I'm not so modest I guess. Hospitals seem to be immodest places at times!
i dont feel your are wrong to ask! a baby is still a patient and deserves the same respect as an older patient.
I think perhaps the way you worded your request may have been a little strong (or maybe it's just how your reaction comes across in writing), but I do not think you were wrong to request privacy for your baby. It needn't have been a private room, the nurse probably could've just as easily pulled out a privacy screen or shown you to a corner where you'd not have been out in the open, but she probably just didn't see where you were coming from, because like it or not it IS common practice for many people to change babies pretty much wherever they are.
