Preschoolers and Keeping Them Busy

Bake with her, cook things. Make Sat morning a fun time in the kitchen. Make muffins for the week. Try a new food.

Get her to help you clean. She can dust, clean the mirrors, fold towels. It's not a punishment so don't feel guilty!
We have homes, we have to take care of them. Kids have been doing that for hundreds of yrs.

When she says, I don't want to, you say, ok. As long as you can entertain yourself while I do this chore. If you can't, then this is what we will be doing together. I like it when you help clean things. You are very good at it!

ETA: Oh my goodness, please do not pull your attention from her now, just to "get her used to it when the baby comes"! What a terrible concept in parenting! Alyssa can have whatever attention you can give her, and you can include her in SO many aspects of the baby's life too! Don't underestimate the amount of help she can be!

Congrats on the new baby coming!
I hear what you are saying, I really do. I hear you saying you need "me" time, and that you are spending a lot of time with Alyssa but can't entertain her all the time.
Here are my thoughts: First, she is getting up at 5 or 6 on the weekends, because, I'm assuming, that's about what time you get her up during the week to get her ready for daycare. If you want her to sleep in a bit (and there is no guarantee this will work), try moving her bedtime later and later over the course of a couple weeks until she is about an hour later than she is now. Maybe she will sleep in then.
Next, I know you feel that the best place for your daughter will be daycare for the summer when the baby comes. But, I feel strongly that your daughter would benefit GREATLY from being allowed to spend the majority of your maternity leave with you and her new sibling. I can see where maybe taking her to a babysitter (aka daycare) 2 days a week might afford you a nap or something, and I suppose that's fine. But her security with the changes and ability to bond with her sibling (and watch you bond) are important, and can't be captured from 6p-8p nightly. PLEASE consider keeping her with you during that time. It breaks my heart to know what you all will be missing as a family if you don't (I have 5 children, and work from home-no daycare used).
Don't feel like you need to entertain Alyssa all the time! I could probably do more than I do to play with my 3 year old, but you know what? Just my presence in the house, and my voice, and my smile are what he lights up with. He and I play several times a day. But being home with me is more than playing. We cook meals together, we shop together, he watches me care for his baby brother, he helps with laundry, chores, computer time. I do stop many times a day to have a 5-minute tea party, a tickle fest, or a book to read. We eat lunch together where we talk about his day, I answer questions, and I get to soak up his cuteness. Far to often, I forget how precious those moments are. But he will not forget. This is what is shaping him to be a young man. I am what is shaping him. He is learning my traditions, my thoughts, our family's way of doing things. How else are you supposed to pass things down to your children, but for spending the time doing with them, teaching them, coaching them? Don't miss that.

Little kids dont' sleep later on weekends, their body clocks are 'set' to whatever time and that's when they wake up.
It's a mistake to entertain your child all the time. She needs to learn to amuse herself. That was hard for my oldest - the more attention I gave her, the more she seemed to demand. But it didn't have to be my attention, she just liked to be busy! Since I worked, I thought that the weekends would be "our" time, but she was so used to being around other kids that I ended up having her in two Saturday classes/activities because she wanted something to do. Kids who are in daycare and used to being around other kids all day do get bored home with just mom/dad on the weekend.
My younger one, I trained from toddler age to play by himself in his room by baby gating him in for half an hour at a time.
If you're going to be busy with a baby, you've got to pull back on your attnetion now, so that she doesn't associate it with the baby and hate her sibling. Set her up with things at home and after you've done 10 minutes of a craft or playset with her, let her know that you have things to do and that she needs to play on her own now. She can be near you, but you need her not to think of you as her playmate.

Hello, it will all work out fine. There will be times when your daughter is unhappy bc you have to take care of the baby and not play with her, but that is just a part of life! She will be just fine. I would just do things with her and take the baby along. My son was 5 when my daughter was born and I got into the swing of doing this pretty quickly. I also set up weekly playdates with him with other kids...rotating back and forth between our house and the other kid's house. I also would set up meeting some of his buddies and their moms at the playground. I could sit with the baby and watch them play. I also kept him busy...such as walking the baby in a stroller on a paved trail while he rode his bike or scooter. We would do lots of fun kid things going on in the morning. Then I used the afternoon for down time at home. Then eventually he started Kindergarten and I had most of the day with my daughter! This ended up being great when she became a toddler...we'd go to all the toddler music, storytime, play classes in the mornings when her brother was in school. PS - Also, I don't think you can really teach a kid to play by themselves. I think it is a personality thing. My son had a hard time with that, while my daughter would just play by herself and entertain herself as soon as she could sit up practically! I remember trying to hard to teach my son to do this and it never came naturally for him. With her I did nothing...she just easily will pretend with her toys and entertain herself for long periods of time.

Here's what I heard you say.

I'm my daughter's constant playmate. She only wants to play with me and I drop everything and play with her every time she wants me to.

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You have to cut the ties and find ways to help her move to that next stage. She should be wanting to play with friends and go to classes and just be a kid with other kids. BUT she has an adult playmate that pays her constant attention.

Since she does attend child care I hope she acts differently there. Playing with other kids and experiencing normal stuff.

When you pick her up and bring her home you're going to have to not give in, when you're off work from the baby I certainly hope you'll continue to take her daily to child care because she is going to not do well when it's time to go back.

My other suggestion is that you review your bedtime for her. IF you're putting her to bed before 8pm then she's going to wake up that early every day.
At her age she doesn't need a lot of hours of sleep. She probably still takes a nap at child care and still needs to continue that. Unless your district doesn't do naps in kindergarten.

I wouldn't be able to do that early of a morning. It would ruin my day. I'd keep her up to midnight every night so she'd sleep in at least an hour later...I feel bad you are having to get up sooooo early.

Helping her to not have the perfect playmate on hand 24/7 is going to be harder on you. Of course you want to spend time with her, of course you want her to spend time with you.

I get my daughter up every weekday at 6:30. When she started being able to recognize numbers, we put an alarm clock in her room, with the numbers written above it, as 7:00. She was allowed to wake us up after the numbers matched but not before. (On the weekends.) We also put blackout curtains in her room, as waking up when the sun came up was part of her problem. She has a lamp in her room and is allowed to play quietly until she can wake me up. She knows mommy is not a morning person, and it works well for everyone. Her bedtime has been 7:30 for a long time, but on the weekends we let her stay up until 8 or 8:30 if she's not too cranky.

We bought a zoo membership last year and I think it was one of the best things we did. We can get out of the house and get fresh air and get exercise, and it wears out our daughter. (She's just turned 7) It's also educational and we all love going. We don't go every weekend, but if we're ever sitting around getting on each other's nerves, we have a place we can go to get out of the house and it's already paid for.

When my second son was an infant I had a museum membership, a zoo membership and a YMCA membership. At the Y I could sit on the bench and nurse the baby while my son played. At the museum and the zoo I could put the baby in the stroller and take nursing breaks when needed. I walked them to the playground every day that it wasn't too cold, again with the baby in a stroller. Having another kid over for my son to play with kept him occupied. I babysat a few different kids, so I actually got paid to supply my kid with a playmate:) We also did lots of free activities such as the library and playgroups.

Wow, sounds like you are doing so much with her. I would consider pursuing play dates again with other friends, and if you can get into an exchange eventually with a mom, such as one of you takes them Wed and the other Friday or is the issue mostly weekends? Does she like to read, puzzles, write, art projects from Dollar Store, drive to visit old friends or relatives? Winter is hard! What is her bedtime? What makes her a poor sleeper, does she wake during night? My kids sleep 7:30-6:30 which is great. They don't know to sleep later on weekend but I usually keep my door shut and say play in your room until my door opens (about 6:30-7a). I assume you only have to keep this up until Sept when kindergarten starts?

Your going to need to start a new routine before the baby gets here and refrain from using the words "after the baby gets here" or she is going to resent the baby. Start a routine where you have breakfast and then she gets dressed on her own, she has a quiet time on her own, she has reading time on her own etc. And you need to enforce it. This does not mean lock her in a room it means you say sit down and read or play on your own. And it will require redirection and probably time out if needed. At 5 she is plenty old enough to comprehend you stay in your room til 7 put a big clock on the wall and mark the 7. But the biggie here is follow thru and don't give in to tantrums.

Kids have no concept of "weekends" and I know how frustrating that can be. But it just is what it is, that's the life of a parent. My kids are all teenagers now but my eyes still fly open every morning by 6:30 or 7:00 because well, that's how it's been here for twenty years.
I'm not sure why she can't play on her own for a while. I know some kids are more needy than others, and some need more stimulation and company, but it's REALLY important for her to learn how to amuse herself, to use her imagination.
I never really played with my kids, but I pretty much always engaged them in what I was doing. If you have cleaning or laundry to do you just say, mommy needs to do laundry now, do you want to help? If she whines and says no I want to play a game just smile and say okay sweetie, go play with your blocks (or dolls or whatever she likes) because mommy is busy right now. Have her help you whenever possible, cooking, cleaning, etc. because mostly what children want is your attention and time. You can give them that without being their constant playmate. That is draining (and often boring) for you and not really fair to them.
Let her develop some imagination. Set out some play doh or watercolors or whatever at the table and then keep doing what you need to do. You can be "there" for her and still get stuff done!

I have one like that, my first. We decided early on that he would HAVE to handle some alone time. Like my kids know if they wake up early, they can get a piece of fruit and watch cartoons, on Saturday, I get up at 7:30-8ish unless someone has a fever or is puking. Weekdays I get up at 6:30, but I have one that is an early riser. He can get up but he watches PBS and chills while I get my coffee and have my little morning rituals. On Sundays the hubs and I nap as do my two younger children. My oldest stopped napping at 3, he simply couldn't do it anymore. But I nap on Sundays to recharge and get ready for the week. From about age 4.5 we told him we would be napping, we gave him the remote to use Netflix for the shows that we approve of, we told him what he could get to snack on, that he could play in his room, read stories, watch tv, nap, but he could not wake us unless there was blood or vomit! He has done so well with that over the years! He doesn't always love it but we just told him 'son, we love your energy so much, but everyone else has to rest, so we won't force you to nap but we will also not change everyone else's schedule to fit you. We are a family and we have to do what makes us all our best.' He got that and it has paid dividends, making him more apart of our family not just centering our family around him. It is easy to do with a very busy high energy child, but not doing it really helps them. You don't have to entertain her all day at all. Play some games, then tell her ok mommy has work to do, or mommy is going to rest, time to entertain yourself! Starting now would be great bc you are right when the baby comes you will not be able to always attend to her every desire to play, it just isn't possible. Also my six yr old is so loving, having siblings has been wonderful for him. He is soooooo good with our two year old, and he helps me a ton now, so I think she can use all that energy to be mommy's little helper :) good luck! You will find your balance, having a second will really force you to, wish you the best! Congrats on the new little one!

Hi A.,

You mentioned that a lack of a routine on the weekend gives you and Alyssa anxiety, and that the routine that you were trying (cleaning, etc.) didn't work. It also doesn't work for Alyssa to sleep in on the weekends, and I think it's great that you are respecting her body's natural inclination to get up at that hour. I bet with just a little experimenting, you and Alyssa can find a routine that works well for both of you.

I imagine you both need some downtime together on the weekend - her full-time care is equivalent to your full-time job. Saturday mornings could be a really special time to reconnect with one another after a very full week. Maybe part of your morning routine would be a post-breakfast book together, followed by another book/show/something quiet that Alyssa can do on her own while you clean. Or maybe she'd like to 'help' by cleaning her own play kitchen/putting the real utensils away/etc. Then a trip to the store/library/walk/some kind of outing, followed by lunch, followed by a rest, followed by a snack then some time outside or an outing, etc.

In short, try a 'schedule' of sorts that will give you regular time together and regular time apart. That way she'll know she can count on her time with you and develop patience in the times she's not with you. You can lean on the schedule, too (i.e. "Remember, this is my time to dust, and your time to put your toys away. We'll go to the store together when we're both done with our jobs." etc).

You could even post a visual schedule that shows the rhythm of the day, if you want. Just a thought.

Good luck.

Sounds like for five years you have been her only source,of entertainment. Not a good thing. Does she have frieńds you can invite over. You need to start working on her independence. If you do not, the transition for her will be very difficultl. You don't want her to be resentful towards baby.

When our son was that age if he didn't want to play on his own then he'd help me with what ever I was doing.
He LOVED to help me vacuum!
He also helped sort/fold laundry and do other things around the house.
Remember that everything is 'play' to her - anything she helps you with is still playing as far as she's concerned.