Preschooler Taking Long on Jobs

I have a 9 year old girl that does the same thing!! Her mind wonders while she is supposed to be doing homework, chores, anything. I will be watching out for other peoples advice to you!! :)

My oldest (7) had pokey issues, too. It used to frustrate me SO much. I'd follow her around reminding her over and over to hurry. Problem is that a preschooler idea of "hurry" is really not the same as yours. So, what I did was make "Tickety" (the timer) the bad guy.

I figured a reasonable time for her to get dressed was 15 minutes. So, I would choose her clothes and set Tickety for 15 minutes. When Tickety rang, if she wasn't done, she lost a toy (temporarily) to the Earn Back Box.

They can't argue with Tickety, so you are just Mom then. You're not the person pushing them. Then later, if she made it under the 15 minute time limit, she could pick one toy from the Earn Back Box.

That worked for us - took a little adjusting on all our parts. Had to explain over and over again that I can't stop Tickety - I don't have control over time. But it did work and now, I have to remind her that time is passing or that half her time is gone and she does really well. Usually she just makes it getting ready in time, but I'm not running behing her chanting "Hurry, hurry"!

Is he very particular? Easily frustrated? Sounds like my four year old daughter. I've been reading a book called The Highly Sensitive Child by Dr. Aron and it's made a huge improvement in terms of me understanding her. You might want to go online and read more about the book to see if it sounds like your son. If so, it deals with all aspects including public vs. private life, school, playing with others, discipline, etc.

your child need needs to find his own pace in an overly face paced world. three children will be even harder to rush than two are. do less enjoy more.

Hi K., It can be stressful sometimes when you have small kids and you have to be places. My middle son has always been taking his time for whatever reason. But by pushing and make it stressful, helps nobody! My son is now 12 and he's still the slowest in the family. I have given up on stressing every time we need to be somewhere. Instead, I make sure we plan way ahead and tell him in time so he can get ready. He's become much better and we have never been late, 98% :)My son is laid back and he is doing things slower than the rest of us, but he has no problem in school, he's always on time, and his social life is good. My suggestion to you would be: don't stress, put time aside for him. Plan in whatever time he needs to get ready, and explain to him you all need to be somewhere at a certain time. Be there with him when he gets ready so he knows you're serious about it, and he can't fool around. My guess is your son can tell when you get stressed out and want to speed up everything so he reacts doing the opposite when he feel pressured. Good luck and a Happy New Year!

Hi K.,
I am just here to tell you it happens. My daughter was soooo pokey it drove me nuts! You are not alone. What else can I say...Heather has the best idea I have ever heard!

Best of luck.
C.

First of all, K., remember he's only 4 1/2. Little hands take a while to work with the thrill of getting dressed. You're not clear on why you want to speed up life. If you plan to leave somewhere, start earlier with his dressing up. The thrill of being able to dress themselves is worth the wait. This is a huge accomplishment for him! He's very proud of himself!

If you just want him to move quicker because he's not meeting your timetable at home, please dig deep for patience. Your little one will soon enough pull on his clothes & be out the door on his way to his friend's house before you know it.

Starting up a reward chart can also be a motivator. List the things you want him to accomplish (his chores), and as he completes them, reward him with a sticker or star. When he has a certain number of stars, have him cash them in for some treat you and he decide ahead of time. Ex: playing at the park, painting with watercolors, anything that is not the norm for him on a daily basis. Make sure to reward quickly the younger the child. Ex: 4 yr. old every day or every 2 days, 8 to 10 yrs. every week, etc.

Remember, Mom, you have the greatest AND hardest job in the world. Kudos to you!

Hi K.. I know the feeling. I hate being late, yet, it seems to always happen. One thing that helps both of us get things done a little faster and with a lot more laughs is racing. My 4 year old son is competetive and so we race him. Sometimes against the clock, (we just time him). We always use, "on your mark, get set...go"... He loves it. Other than that, we're are about as fast as a pack of turtles. Good luck. You're not alone in the race.

my husband is 40 and he still takes a long time dressing. i tired telling him we had to be someplace anhor earlier than it realy was but he figured it out so maybe he is just going to take his time forever. and that may not be all bad. my hubby is a thinker and he really takes his time with everything and everything he does, he does well. its jsut something you have to get used to. it was hard a first because im a type A personality and a go go go person. but ive learned to do things without him, for example if hes not dressed by the time i hae toleave ( and i always have to be on time) i leave and he follows whenever hes ready. that way nobody gets their feelings hurt when he eats he really enjoys his food and he has taught me a bit about slowing down and enjoying the sights.

K. D.,

Don't take your son's reaction timing for granted. All children do not have the rapid idea of doing things. Although, I have been with my fiancee for 7 years, he has an older son that is 12 now. When I first met him he was only 6 and he could not dress himself at all let alone run his own bath water!!! It is all in their stride and they get faster as they get older. Our daughter on the other hand, is a different way. she can get dressed fast if she feels like it or she can mess around and for about 30 minutes. She is 5 years old. She began dressing herself at the age of 1.5 yrs old. So I would say it is all in the kids mind, how important it is to him. The only way we could get her to get dressed, clean her room or hurry to do anything is if we make up something like we are going to be late because of her..or something to that effect (she hates to be a burden). But she is much like her father in that area!!! Their timing is always off compared to mine. I don't like being late and I want to be on time for whatever the occassion is. When it is the other way around (it being her father) she starts complaining that he makes us late. Lol!

So take your time with him and kinda guide him to do things faster. For instance, get a timing bell or a stop watch (make sure he knows you have one) and kinda play a game with him. If he can get dressed in about 15 minutes (b4 the bell goes off) you will do something fun for him or give him something that he would like (something that makes him understand that the goal that he accomplished for you was good and he did well! Then boost up the time to like 10 minutes and so on. It will all work out.

P.s. I found out that with my best friend's son she said she has to still guide him (he is 6 years old) through tasks because with "boys they seem to have a shorter mind span and everything is still all boggled in their heads than in girls"...it sounds so familiar with our husbands everynowandthen! Good luck!!

K.:

My 4 year old son is the same way. Since we get ready at the same time, what I do is tell him we're going to "race" to see who can get done first. By turning getting dressed into a game, it really helped to get him to go a bit faster. Even when we don't play the game, he seems to get ready faster than before. I will also do the same with eating, because there are times when he will take FOREVER to eat (and I'm talking more than an hour). Some times I will just say "let's see how fast you can ________. Mommy will time you." Like I said, if he thinks it's a game, he stays more concentrated on the task at hand. Hope this helps. Good luck.