Preschooler Curious About Body

Hi M.,
Hang in there.. i'm sure this just a phase.. (hoping nothing has happened with the 8 year old..) I have 3 girls; 4, 5, and 7. All of them, since birth have seen my husband and I with no clothes on.. showering togehter.. (not so much anymore now..) but suddenly their fascinated with bums.. and they giggle when they happen to see or find our underwear! I even caught my 7 year-old taking pics of her friends bum! We were horrified of course and had two serious discussions already about the inappropriateness of it.. Hopefully she's got it now.. but they love to shake their 'booties' so to speak, when they dance.. Not sure where they get this, as they really only watched PBS and very few kid movies.. There must be something innate about it all.. I think once they learn what 'private' means.. they become slightly fascinated by it.. I've even been more hesitant to leave them in the tub together as i've found them checking out eachother's bums while playing.. etc.. I'm not exactly sure where that fine line is between natural curiosity and inappropriateness.. i'll look forward to reading other responses.. and maybe gain some insight along with you..

Good Luck.. and it sounds like you're doing all you can.. keep it up, and i'm sure this phase will pass..

My 4 year old does this at home but not a at school. He wants to see and touch but we tell him that he can't do that. I ask him if he would like me to just pull down his pants and look at his butt and he says no. Its hard as you do look at them so they think it may be ok so I try to stay out of the bathroom when he takes a bath until he calls me to get him out. Or if he wants me to make sure he wiped himself well.

He touches himself as well. I also tell him that it is normal to want to touch it or see it but he needs to do that when he is alone in his room.

Kids see each other as they go to the bathroom together but they just can't touch. He will soon stop but I think like most kids if you freak out about it they respond to that so keep calm and just talk to him about it like you would talk to anyone else about something.

Hi - I wouldn't worry too much about your son's behavior. It is probably all natural, he's just curious. BUT, if it continues for a long time, then you might get nervous (let's say 6-8 mos from now?!) As far as the neighbor kid goes, I agree with you. Keep your son away if you have ANY of a funny feeling there. One never knows and it is better to be safe than sorry. Get someone from the preschool to come over for a play date. Or sign up for pre-school karate or kinderplay or some such thing so he will be with other kids. Don't worry though. Everything will turn out ok!

Hi M.,
I am going through the same thing with my 5 year old pre-schooler whom is also a boy right now as well. I was getting a little panicked by this as well. I wasn't sure how to approach the subject with him since he is still so young. I just asked him why he was curious and explained to him that I know it seems funny sometimes to do silly things like touching bums...but, that we boys and girls have very special parts to our bodies. And that no one else is allowed to touch those parts. With the exception of mommy or daddy's help in certain situations. I also explained that it is okay to be curious and wonder what its all about. But, that he needs to ask Mommy or Daddy about these special things because we will always tell him the truth and help him to understand it. I want him to know that he can come to us with these things. Especially if something bad ever happened. I think it's a normal part of the growing up process and we have just entered another scary phase of being a mom. Good luck!

My daughter went through a similar curiousity in Preschool. There were a couple occasions with playmates where they were going into the bathroom together and "looking", there was one incident of playing "doctor". I was reassured by my Pedi that this was perfectly normal for this age. We talked about private parts and that she could not do this and it eventually stopped (in fairly short time). I too was worried that someone had been inappropriate with her but again Pedi said this was a perfectly normal stage of development for some kids. It was hard, playmates moms definitely judged the situation, there is so much paranoia out their. I felt like people thought she was a "perv" too which was so off base because she is the sweetest kid, kind hearted and friendly. We lost one friend over it because in my opinion the mom was super over protective and definitely thought it had something to do with my parenting. She is kind of a "superior" parent anyway so I guess I was bound to prove "unworthy" at some point LOL. Anyway, I talked with other moms and found out that their kids had gone through similare things so hopefully it is just a phase that he will outgrow. I think the best you can do is have close supervision when he is playing with friends so you can observe the behavior and remind him that it is not okay and keep talking to him about what is appropriate to touch and by who. Hopefully it will be short lived. Good luck!

Hi! I am a 28 year old mother of three. My advise to you is don't worry i think all boy goes to the same experince. My son use to do the same thing when he was in preschooler and the teacher use to call me alot. But now my son is five year old and he learnd that he should keep his hand to his selve. I talk to him just the same way you doing with your son. so don,t worry to much he is just a child this is the age were he is going to be curious about everything.So just keep talking to him that soon or later he would get it. I wich you the best. GOOD LUCK
C..