I realize it is only my son's second day of preschool, but he really isn't doing well. I was wondering if anyone could give me any tips on how to help him adjust.
I don't know if this is the correct place to post this response but I wanted to thank everyone for there advice!!! I only signed up on this site yesterday and WOW! It is wonderful to have the support already. So thank you. As for my son, he is coming around a little. I would have to say that, after reading the responses people have sent, I would say he is suffering from seperation anxiety. He does not lash out at teachers or children and he DOES participate in activites. He had been going to daycare since he was 11 months old so he knows that we come back after work. I was very excited when I picked him up from prechool today and he said he wanted to go back tomorrow... of course he told me later on that he didn't. Have a good night everyone. Your advice overwhelms me!!! I am so thankful for all of it. Today when I picked him up he rushed over to show me he had gotten a happy face on is hand. "I was a good listener and sat down mommy, I got a happy face"he said... then he said "I wanna come to preschool tomorrow" I was soo happy to hear those words. I am not however forgetting to realize that tomorrow we might have a few issues in the morning, but at the end of the day he seems to have enjoyed himself. Thank you.
Give it time! Just think, if you wait it'll take time for him to adjust in kindergarten when he needs to start focusing on academics.
It takes an average of 2 weeks for a child to adjust to a new schedule. To make the transition more comfortable for him, plan to take some time when you drop him off and involve yourself for at least 5 minutes. This way, he sees mom has fun and he will eventuly learn that it is ok to be seperated from you. Good Luck.
Hi J., I just went through this with our 3yr daughter, I made the mistake of staying to long and kept telling her she will be okay. so i talked to her teacher and she said as soon as i leave she is fine. so she said maybe just bring her in take off her coat give her a couple of kisses and say i will be back later to get you have fun then leave.don't linger just go so for a couple of days she cried and cried but by the end of the week she wasn't crying any more so it worked.so i talked to her peditricion about it and he said it was because i was all she has been with and its call anxiety separation.but now she is asking me do i get to go to school today. so i would try dropping of quick as possible. and give it a little more time because they need structure in their life. and by you doing it everyday shows him this is a schedule.good luck mommy you need to do this it will be so good for him.~L.~
I agree with what everyone has said. It also helped my daughter to know what we were going to do when I picked her up again...gave her something to be excited about.
I would want to consider how long your son is upset about you leaving. Is it interfering with participation? If it is taking him an inordinate amount of time to join activites, then I would want to try something different. I read an article in a parenting magazine that actually recommended, in some instances, that mom/dad stay in the classroom for an extended amount of time...maybe even the whole time to start with. I was just about ready to ask the teacher if I could do this with my child when she started preschool, but sure enough, after a week and a half she was actually asking me to leave! I appreciated that the teachers called me if she had been crying for more than 15 minutes though...
Good luck!
J.
Hi J.. Looks like you've gotten some great advice so far.
Could you elaborate a little more on what's going on? Is he having seperation anxiety -- i.e. crying and clinging as you leave, and/or crying for long periods after you leave (if so how long roughly)? Or is he acting out toward the other children. Having trouble sitting quietly at circle time? Doesn't want to participate in activities? Or just screams "No! Don't make me go!"?
:-)
Also, what is his experience with being dropped off. Is this his first preschool? Did he have a day care or babysitter?
-- L.
About me:
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I've worked in a variety of preschool settings over the years, have a degree in Early Childhood Education, and have 3 kids -- all of whom went through co-op preschools with me.
time...just give him some time and talk to the teacher so they can be help to make it a better transiton for you and him! good luck!!
I teach preschool and what I always tell parents whose children go through sepration problems when dropped off is- Of course you child would rather be with mommy, most chilren would. Not because they are unhappy at school, but at that age what is better than mommy (or daddy in cases)? Crying during seperation is his way of telling you. The true test is how he does once he gets past that first 10 minutes. I think you would be notified if he cried the entire time you were gone because as a teacher I can tell you the last thing we want is to care for a child that screams ALL DAY. And this is so rare, I've only experinced it with some of my special ed kids. If you are truly concerned, drop in during the day and observe him from where you cannot be seen.
When my daughter first started pre-school she had some problems too. She would cry when I left her, having already been through it with my son, I knew I had to just leave her and she would be fine. To help her out, I put a picture of us,our family(mommy, daddy, brother and her) in her pocket, whenever she felt sad about being away, she would pull it out and look at it, kiss it, or just talk to it! She loved it! Good luck!
Do you just drop him off and go? if that is the issue and he not wanting you to go. I have tried to stay for a little bit in the back of the classroom for the first week.. So that he knows that it is ok and that he will become comforatable with the other kids and teachers.. I hope this might help..
Hi! My kids are older now but when the both started preschool my soon cried and had major fits about me leaving for the first 9 days. My daughter the first 7. It was very hard for me but the teachers told me they were fine about 10 minutes after I left. He'll get used to it, just hang in there!
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I also enrolled my son in preschool when he was three. The teacher would tell me that she felt he had some kind of consentration problem, told me she was going to get someone to evaluate him the next year. I kept him in preschool eventhough I knew and felt that he was not doing good and was not ready. But the following preschool year he matured. The teacher began to tell me that he is the best in class it was perhaps his age last year that made the difference. My advice to you is keep him in preschool for the two years because it really helps them out. You will notice the difference next year.
Hi J.,
I am not sure what you mean about not going right with preschool? I would like to share my experience with you. My son who just turned 5 was enrolled in preschool Sept 2 years ago, he wasn't quite 3. He is a winter birthday but I wanted him to go with his friends. It was a disaster. Evidently he wouldn't go outside and play and they left him alone inside!!! He would cry every time we got in the car for fear that I was bringing him to school. I pulled him out after 2 weeks, waited a year and put him in a different school. He absolutely loves it and runs to the door to get in now. My son is incredibly social and even was at 2 years old so it came a a big surprise to me but he just wasn't ready. Perhaps you are having the same issue?
A. L
J. W. I had # of my children in headstart and and only my little boy gave me the problem of crying, grabing and not letting go, running after me, whatever to make me feel real bad and not want to leave him. You must be strong tell the teacher to take him tell him you love himand you will see him later AND LEAVE. After you are gone this will soon stop the teachers are experienced in this. Its is hard at first but will get easier he will soon get the picture he will see you later on.The problem is really we have the problem of letting go . Good Luck you CAN DO THIS
When you say he isn't doing well, what do you mean? Is he crying when you leave him or are there other issues that you are told about when you pick him up?
I am a single mom, my son had only known myself and my family as care providers prior to going to preschool (2 days a week) when he turned 2. It was really difficult for me in the beginning, leaving him there and watching him cry. It took almost 5 months for him to adjust to the separation but I was assured, once I left, he calmed down and when I would pick him up, he was cheerful and ready to share about his day.
Preschool is an amazing experience in socialization and an incredible opportunity for our children to learn in a structured environment.
My advice is to give it time. Remind yourself about the benefits of him being there. Let go a bit. Eventually, he will adjust.
