Any Advise on How to Prepare Twins on Upcoming Enrollment in Preschool?

M.- i would recommend that you get them into a class or two this summer where mom is not involved. They also have classes where mom is a transition and you are there for part of the class and then you leave.

The other recommendation that i can give is to hire a babysitter and go out for the time that they would be in preschool. This will also help them get used to you not being there.

Hope my suggestions help!

B.

I would suggest getting them in a program for the rest of the summer. A program that you do not have to stay there with them. Maybe a play ground program.
My next suggestion may sound off the wall but it work for me and my husband. We only have one child and we were very concerned about him being to attached to us when it came time to send him to school so we had him go to a baby sitter for a short time. It was in an older ladies home and she only had 2 other children but those 1/2 days away from me really helped. There was days he did not want to go to school but they were few and far between. It did cost a little but it worked.

S.

I don't think it was so bad that you told the kids you were going to miss them. I told my daughter and son that, but, we also walked through the school together and I would tell them "how lucky they were that they were going" and "please teach me what you learned". I would also tell them that I can't wait to help out in an activity (because you'll have opportunities to volunteer and be part of the fun.) You'll also go shopping, together, and pick out some nice clothes, a backpack or - my daughter and I had a canvas bag (that's what they asked for) and used fabric paint and decorated it with her different colored handprints-a great keepsake. She couldn't wait to use it. Maybe you can back-peddle and say "wow - on your first day, because I will miss you, why don't we go for ice cream/McDonald's or whatever is a novelty for you. And, I wish you well, too. Make sure you have a special friend to call on this momentous day - it's a huge step for you. It will get easier but you just never know what grade is going to hit you hard. Best of luck to you.

I think all of Jen's suggestions are right on target. You are right, it isn't a good idea to share your mixed emotions with the kids as then it confuses them. I know how hard it is.. as both a parent and a teacher. Although your children are looking to you as their guide about this very new and exciting experience.

If they sense that you may have mixed emotions about things and may not be confident about leaving them at school, that sends the signal that this may not be a good place for them to be and they may have trouble separating.

I tell my parents to try and be as positive as possible and do those things Jen suggested. Keep a big smile on your face when you drop them off.. tell them what fun things you will do with them when you get home.. a kiss and hug and goodbye. (then you can cry when you get around the corner in your car.. ha.!) I know.. I have been through leaving kids at college too.. so hard I know! My "baby" will be leaving for college next fall. THAT is going to be so hard!

Short and sweet is always best. Reassure them that mommy always comes back.. (or dad or whoever is going to pick them up) Expect some tears if they haven't left you before but it will get better. And also if you haven't left them at a class or something before or with a sitter or family member for short periods of time. do try and do that before school starts so they know you will always return and build some confidence with this.

There are also great articles in parenting magazines (you can check things out at the library and google the topic online..)

on this topic and separation anxiety for both parents and kids..It seems now a days, children need at least one year of preschool to help prepare for kindergarten so you are definitely doing the right thing.

hope this helps.. I'm sure they will be just fine! I think its wonderful that you love the kids and will miss them. But just reassure yourself also that you know this is a wonderful experience for them and it will give you some time for yourself too!

The start of preschool is such a sweet milestone! I'm sure they will love it and forget all of their worries on the first day. For ideas for getting them excited, you could drive or walk by the school when you have a chance and talk about what the teachers might be doing to get ready for school, show the playground, etc.

You can also check books out of the library about preschool. Spot goes to School is a favorite here. My younger son is still in preschool, but he loves the book "Miss Bindergarten Gets Ready for Kindergarten," which shows the teacher making the room all fun and decorated for the first day of school.

You can also take them shopping for new backpacks and school supplies (even if they don't need supplies, get some crayons and paper they can play with at home if not needed at school.) You could also pick a morning to "play school" where you do some finger painting and other fun activities.

When my sister sent my nephew to pre-school he was very upset at the separation. So, she went to a craft store and bought some of those little beads that were heart shaped. She gave one to him and kept one for herself. She told him that while they were apart, they could keep each other's "heart" until they were together again. So, every day before he went to school, they would each kiss their own "heart" and then exchange them and keep them in their pockets. When he would come home from school, they exchanged them back. They did this process until he was in first grade. It was awesome and it made my nephew feel like she was right there with him during the day. A brilliant idea that I plan on using when MY son goes to preschool next year. :-) Hope this helped!

Hi M.,
I just signed up my twins for pre-school for the fall, this will be their first experience with being away from me also. I tried to get them involved, I brought them with me, and we will be going shopping for little backpacks, etc. that they will get to pick out. We also went to the library and got library cards for them, we told them that they are getting bigger so they are allowed to do more things. Maybe you can re-direct their attention away from you missing them and focus it on the things they get to do now that they are getting bigger. Also, I wouldn't mention how sad you are going to be again and start telling them how excited you are for them that they are getting bigger and smarter and going to learn new things. I know how hard it is to get kids to forget something you say, but you have a few months to overcome it. Good luck!!!

Hi M.,

My now four year old daughter attended three-year old preschool just this last school year. I felt the same way and actually slipped and told her that I would miss her. She actually comforted me, so please don't feel bad about saying it to them as it is a completely normal feeling for the parents. Our preschool had a "preview" day to which both the parents and students were invited. Your twins may surprise you and be totally fine once they are at school since they have one another for company. My friend owns a preschool and gave me the best advice...whatever you do, make the send-off/goodbye at the door sweet and short telling them that you love them and you will be there to pick them up as soon as school is over. If they start to cry give them a quick hug, but then walk away. The preschool teachers advise against long goodbyes or crying (from the parents)as it is detrimental for the child. I read my daughter books the entire summer about going to preschool and let her talk about it with other kids who were already in school like my older nieces and nephews that she looks up to. My daughter also got a new sister a week before school started so I was extra nervous and hormonal as well. I am sure that everything will work out fine for you and the twins - hang in there, it is so hard to let them go! Also, if they seem to be having a hard time with it, talk to the teacher about it as they can give you some great advice. Best of luck!

My little guy (4)just had his first sleepover at his cousin's house. We were there for dinner and then my husband, daughter and I left. He was ABSOLUTELY fine until I said "I'll miss you". I quickly saw that he saw I was upset and said "I'll miss you, BUT I'll be happy that you are having fun". This seemed to make it okay again. He's never really had ANY seperation issues from us, so we are lucky. I have heard of a system that you put #'s 1-5 in a box and the kids pick out a # each morning (before school starts) and whatever # they pick out of the box is the # of hugs and kisses they get when you pick them up. I thought that was cute. They know you will ALWAYS come back for them that way. Most likely they will adjust better than you (haha) especially with twins (are they in the same class?). Good luck! Just be so glad you are doing it now and not when they go to kindergarten. Best luck to all of you!

I don't know what preschool they will be going to, but my daughter was only used to being with me all the time. The first day, the parent got to go with and stay with them so they got used to the teacher and classroom. Maybe you could check with the teacher to see if you can stay for at least a little bit on the first day. My daughter cried when I dropped her off and even sat under the table the entire class that 1st day (she did all the crafts under the table too). I told her that I would be there to pick her up when she was done with school and that it would go really fast, that seemed to help. The second time, she didn't cry and didn't sit under the table and after about a week, she loved it! It might be a rough first few times but in the end, they will love going.

Don't beat yourself up over something that seems so innocent - I think we've all done something with our kids we wish we could take back :)

On the first day of school it is absolutely essential that you know exactly what you are going to do when you drop them off.

Walk them in, give them a hug and a kiss, tell them you love them, promise that you will return later to hear all about the fun and exciting things they did, and then leave. Do not linger and make it a drawn-out good-bye. This will only create more anxiety for them. If you feel like crying or getting upset, do the best you can to hold it in, waiting to let the floodgates down while you're in the car. Them seeing you upset will only make them upset, and raise the anxiety level even further. The short, sweet, and simple goodbyes are the best (ask ANY preschool teacher and they'll tell you).

Can you visit the school a few times before the first day? Arrange an informal meet and greet with the teacher? Do some morning practice runs?

Hi there!!

I have boy/girl twins too - they are 12 months old!! Our daughter (who turns 3 in October) starts kindergarten soon - so I will be interested to see how you go with TWO!! Twins are so great; they do keep me busy, but I wouldn't have it any other way, with our precious three kids!!

C. (New Zealand)

There is a nice book called The Kissing Hand by Audrey Penn. It's about a baby raccoon going to school for the first time and the special little good-by ritual that the mommy sets up with him. It was the first book read to my son's preschool class by his teacher when he was three and he immediately wanted to do kissing hands too. I saw it on the shelf at my second son's preschool too (we moved and changed schools), so it must be a favorite among teachers.

Don't worry about your little slip up... I think we should all get a Ph.D in child psychology when they get their high school diplomas.

Maybe you can back-peddle on your comment a bit... have you heard of the Gossip Method? It's a great way to address an issue in a situation like this where bringing it up directly might cause undue anxiety...
Have a discussion with grandma (or anyone) on the phone in their presence. say something like "Well, the twins are starting preschool next week! I am so excited because I know they will have so much fun! It's just a short class - but I know they will love it! I met the teacher and she is WONDERFUL!"

I would wait until the start of school is close before you try this. Give the old comment you made a chance to fade a bit.

Good Luck!

Hi M.,

Try a pity party! Tell them we sometimes feel sad about something that will happen no matter what, so we sit down and talk about it and go wah wah wah, sad sad sad, for 20 minutes and then we get on with things. Give them "sad hats" and "wah wah wah" noisemakers, like a party, and they can keep those to wear and use whenever they are feeling sad about this or something else. It may seem they are a little young for this, but try it and see if those sad props don't come in handy over the years.

Good luck and remember, you can always volunteer at their school and they'll see that school is a happy place for the whole family.

S. F.
mom to 2 big boys!

Can you get them too the prescool before it stars to look around and see all the fun stuff and then do they have an open house day when the other kids will be there? Gets some names and numbers of kids in the class and start having playdates so they get used to some of the kids in there.
Read them the book the Kissing Hand and practice with stickers and a baby sitter even if you leave and dad watches them. Hope this helps. I am in the same boat and this is what I am doing. I cant wait tosee theo ther replies too for me!
Good Luck
J.

See if the school will welcome the kids for a visit...20-30 minutes is enough. My 3 year-old's new school does that as part of the application process and months later he is so excited to go. That 20 minute visit even got him potty trained. I'm telling you he loved, loved, loved it. They remember everything so they may not forget you will miss them, but maybe it will be too much fun to care! :-)

Hi M.,

I think you will find that once your twins are enrolled in part-time preschool, you still have a lot of time with them. You can also volunteer at their school, help out in the classroom and with parties, field trips and other special events. Maybe you can say to them now "You know it will be a change for all of us, and I'm sure I'll miss you sometimes, but we'll still see each other a lot and you will be having a lot of fun, making new friends, and learning cool stuff, and I know it's going to be good for all of us.'
Emphasize that it will be a change, but a good change.
You can also hang out at the school on their first day --most preschools are understanding of that. Check in advance if the school is OK with parents staying around on the first day /week-- to help you and the kids make the transition.
Preschool will be good! For them and you. My suggestion is just emphasize the positives of preschool with your kids, and let them know they're still going to see you a whole, whole lot, and you'll all be getting used to it together.
Best wishes! Enjoy these sweet years.
L. (mother of fraternal boy twins now 7)

M.,

The book The Kissing Hand might be of help. I can't think of the author right now. You basically kiss your child's hand and whenever they are missing you or feelinf sad they put that hand on their cheek and they can feel your love. Hope this helps.
T.

I'm going through the same thing with my three year old. She's not wanting to be away from mommy and daddy. I have just been taking her to the school to get her familiar with it. At her school too the teacher actually does a home visit before school. You can ask about that.

I agree with everyones great ideas. My children had not really been away from me before they started preschool either, so I had them go to story time at the library. It was one where you do not sit with them. It was only half hour, but it got them used to seeing me leave and having me return to them. I would sit outside the door and read and be there in case there were any problems, but it was a nice first step to start the seperation idea.