Preparing My 4Yo for Surgery

Really just let her know that you'll be there for her the whole time. And you need to put your brave face on. If she sees you nervous, then she'll think she has something to worry about. Be her rock and she'll be fine. I don't think kids worry about this stuff like we adults do. My daughter had surgery at age 5 - tonsils and adnoids out, tubes in ears and turbenites in her nose shrunk. She wasn't nervous about it at all. I just acted like it was no big deal and that everything would be better afterwards. She was just looking forward to the ice cream and popsicles that I had promised her!!! I would also say dont' 'overtalk' about it before the surgery. Explain it simply, ask her if she has any questions and then drop it. And get her a new stuffed animal to love her in the hospital!

My son (7) had surgery in October. He knew for awhile that he was going to have to have it but we didn't tell him exactly what day until 3 days before. He was a little nervous about it but nothing serious. They gave him something to drink that made him a little woozy before they took him away from us so he wasn't upset. They also waited until they had him asleep before they did the IV so he didn't feel any pain.

I agree with Just M. The least amount of information the better. Don't concentrate much on the actual surgery, but I would try to get a hold of one of those collars so she can try it on and will know what to expect. Let her know that she will be taking a very good, restful nap and when she wakes up it will all be over. Too much information too early gives her imagination a lot of time to work. If you only talk about the recovery, she will focus on that and no so much the actual surgery.

Due to the anesthesia she will not be able to eat or drink before the operation. Are there eating restrictions afterwards due to the procedure? I'd present it to her very matter of fact - you know that we've been doing "x" to help you with your neck? Well on Tuesday you have an appointment with the doctors at the hospital to help more . . . etc. At this point you can mention that the medicine they'll give her means she won't be able to eat or drink for a certain time beforehand and involve her in planning the meal before surgery and what snacks to have in the house afterwards.

Discussions based on the general routine and planning for things she does have control over (like what she wants to eat before and after) should make it easier fo her to manage. I wouldn't focus on the fact that it might hurt afterwards, if she asks if it will the answer is that doctors have special medicine to make it not hurt. Finding a picture of the collar she will have to wear is probably a good idea. You might also want to find out from the nurse if the color can be decorated and involve her in that process as well.

Not sure which method they will use for the anesthesia - IV or mask. If they give it in the IV, she will feel a warm liquid. If they are using a mask, do you have a scuba mask you can demonstrate with? Her arms will get tingly, like when her leg falls asleep. its okay if she laughs. okay if she doesn't. she'll take a short nap, and when she wakes up you and/or a nurse will be waiting for her.

I've had numerous surgeries. When I was 17 I was in pre-op. I was getting my ACH worked on, was going to be in a leg cast to my hip. The girl next to me, also 17y (and could've been my blond twin), both in braids, was having a brain operation and getting her head shaved. Hope they don't mix us up! I know she said, 'I hate crutches!'... My mom then asked what type of anethesia I thought they'd use -meaning IV or mask. I said I don't know. laughing gas? then I started CRACKING UP!!! I was laughing so hard I was shaking the bed and you could hear me throughout the whole pre-op. Other patients started smiling and giggling at me. One dr. said 'who in the world is laughing?'... the anesthesiologist came in and said 'I don't know if she needs anything!' I still smile when I think about it.

As for the pain, just tell her that her neck will be sore for a bit, you'll have medicine that will help her.

If it were me, I would probably have her wear a turtle neck shirt or sweater from now until then so that she can get used to the feel of something on her neck, restricted chin/head movement. Maybe have her wear one of those kids travel pillows around her neck? So that by Tues. she is used to the feeling.

I have no advice for your daughter, but I know with my daughter if I was facing this, the less info the better. If I mention a needle a week before her dr appointment she stresses and crys for the entire week, yet she had to get stiches in her face while awake when she was 3 and no tears because it wasnt thought about. I would J. concentrate in telling her about the recovery and the rewards she'll be getting after (tv time, cuddle time, arts and crafts..) and concentrate on the bennefits of the surgery without mentioning they'll be cutting into her. But again I have no experience with this. I hope the conversation goes well and shes recovered before you know it!

Hi,

While I don't have much perspective as a parent, I do have some from my childhood to share. My tonsils were removed when I was about 10 years old. The children's hospital I went to offered tours for kiddos who were facing surgery. Hospital staff showed us the different types of rooms we'd be in, the hospital gowns we'd wear, described the anesthesia, etc. I don't remember much about the level of detail, but it was definitely meant to reassure rather than intimidate.

Honestly, I'm not sure how much it helped me, as the program was geared toward kids younger than myself, and I wasn't terribly frightened about my procedure. If your daughter is one who needs to know exactly what to expect before she enters a new situation, you may check with your hospital to see if it offers something similar.

Best wishes!