Premarital Counseling

I think it is a great idea, but let me give you another idea that maybe doesn't seem so threatening to him. I had decided I wanted to do this particular workbook with my potential spouse and it was the best thing we ever did. http://www.amazon.com/Getting-Ready-Marriage-Workbook-Rea...

I highly recommend it. We did it through our church. It may reveal some of the hidden things that you might not discover until marriage- expectations of marriage roles is a biggie and sometimes those are enough to make or break a marriage. It's good to discuss the fundamental things like morals and values too. At least if you disagree you can handle it before marriage and not after. My husband and I went through counseling and we had to take a 2 month break from each other. Even though I didn't like it then, I'm glad we did it then and didn't have to separate after marriage. The book we used was Before You Say "I Do" by Norman Wright & Wes Roberts. Maybe you two can go thru the book and workbook together, at least.

My sister and her husband did a full year of pre-marital counseling and feels that it laid a strong foundation for them to begin their marriage on. Building a strong relationship like building anything else, requires the right tools and a good plan. Good Counselors can persent an opportunity to work through things and make decisions before a pattern of living is established that cannot be sustained. Tell your fiance to think of it as insurance.

I think it is incredible and will save you so many arguements and misunderstandings. We did counseling and our counselor based our discussions on a book called Getting the Love you want by Hendrix. I learned things that suprised the heck out of me about myself and what I needed - and how I needed to learn to get them for myself and express what I needed properly as did my fiance. I know it saved our relationship and upcoming marriage, now with so many things that have confronted us, I know we would have failed had we not learned what we did.

Many blessing to you on your nuptuals. If you husband expresses reservations like many men do, maybe do the workshop that accompanies that book and spend the time up front until you hit something tough - that may help him bring in a third party if needed.

J

I think counseling is only as good as the person who is leading the session. The pastor that married my husband and I required us to do premarital counseling with him. I was so offended throughout the entire counseling sessions. Instead of getting to know me, he went with his preconceived idea of me and would make the most annoying comments about me (I'm from California and he would go on and on about how liberal I am and basically have no moral character). All the things that he made my husband and I discuss - like money, children, sex - my husband and I had already discussed on our own so the sessions weren't that enlightening. On the positive side, since I was so annoyed with the preacher and complained all the time, it became an inside joke between my husband and I and brought us even closer together.

If counseling is important to you, try to find someone that your fiance is comfortable with. Good luck!

Love the idea of premarital counseling! I don't know why more people don't do it -- and wonder if more people DID do it, would they not get themselves into a marriage that would otherwise end in divorce...

I'm Catholic and so I had to go through it to get married in the Catholic church. I think it's a wise choice.