L.R.
Is it normal to have two such incidents? Not when they involve something that is so easily fixed. Do the obvious.
The two incidents you mention were both centered on the car. From what you wrote it seems to be not some stationary piece of car-shaped equipment but a rolling toy kids can ride.
Get rid of it.
Make that the first thing suggested. The children have demonstrated that they are not mature enough yet to have this type of toy, or to share it, so it needs to leave. Permanently, not with a "You'll get this back later if everyone behaves." They have no business with a rolling toy like this if each teacher has nine kids under her watch. Some parent may whine that "It's not fair to penalize all the kids because one got rough over the car and another just had an accident!" But those parents need to toughen up because this is exactly how things will go in school, real school, from here on out: One or a few kids have an issue, the whole class loses something it likes. But in this case there is a pressing safety issue here too, not just a disciplinary one. I would not even announce this to the kids or say it's because Jimmy fell and Johnny hit, etc. I would just have it disappear before school starts one day.
As for the meeting: It's going to be tough to say, "I see undisciplined aggression at drop-off" without some parents instantly becoming defensive because they'll secretly feel sure you mean them. And in some cases, you WILL mean them, without saying so. It would be best if the school director takes the lead here and says something like, "I have heard reports of chldren being aggressive (and then be specific--hitting; kicking; etc.)...." The director should be the one doing this, not you and not another parent, or you may end up with either bitter silence among the parents or a shouting match.
I would hope, but not necessarily expect, to accomplish a "code of conduct for drop-off and pick-up behavior." Also, does every teacher have a very clear set of classroom rules that the kids know from day one? Simple, direct, and in a small child's language? Repeated a lot, maybe even every day at circle time? What disciplines do the teachers use? What gets taken away when a child breaks a rule, and what privileges are lost? What information goes home to parents, and how? (For instance--do you get a written note every day or every week that says "Jimmy had a problem sharing today" or things like that? Or "Jimmy got a 'red light' today for kicking"? Many preschools use a red/yellow/green light system-- with rewards for good behavior.) If your preschool has NO consistent system of discipline, removal of privileges and rewards -- I would really consider moving.
Ask the teachers what exactly they do when children are aggressive and what strategies they use. Ask if they need an additional classroom aide.
