Potty Trianing - Atlanta,TX

Oh how frustrating potty training can be. My suggestion is just put her back in diapers and wait till she's ready. I made the mistake of trying too hard and all it did was frustrate my daughter and I. We tried for a year too. For my daughter it was something that she wanted control over. She wasn't ready till 3 yrs 3 months. I started to think that there was something wrong. But one day I was able to get her to go on the potty for the first real time on her own and after that she's only had 1 accident in 4 months. It really does help to wait till she is ready. take a step back and make it easier on you and her and put her back into diapers till she's ready. When she's ready it'll be so easy. Good luck. I understand your frustration.

This is becoming a real power struggle between you and your daughter. My advice is to back off. Tell her that it is up to her to decide when she is ready to use the toilet. Then follow her lead. If she wants to wear a diaper, put her in a diaper. If she wants to wear underwear, put her in underwear. If she wears underwear and has an accident, clean it up and have her help you--but don't comment negatively, punish her, or take something away. Don't tell her she "has to pee in the potty all the time"...that is just an invitation to failure and frustration. Potty training should not take a year if the child is truly ready!!
Stop making using the toilet such a hot button issue. It is just prolonging the process AND making it more irritating for you and for her.
I'm sorry to sound so blunt. I'm just trying to help.

How old is she?

ALL kids will have accidents and mistakes and regressions. It is all a part of the continuum of learning and 'mastering' pottying.

Put it this way: ALL of my daughter's Teachers, from Preschool to Kindergarten to 1st Grade, ALL said accidents happens in kids this age. It is fine. Except, the parents don't admit it, because they think kids don't have accidents. But even on field trips or in class sometimes, kids these ages DO have accidents, and at home.
It it their physiological development. And them not being totally 100% in control of their impulses. And they 'think' they can do it, or hold it, but cannot. They cannot yet, ascertain, accurately, their body's needs.

And, night-time dryness, is not something that is BIOLOGICALLY attained, until even 7 years old, and this is normal. It has to do with a child's biological/brain/and myelin nerve development.

Sometimes a change in routine or an illness can do things like this. The thing about potty training is that the child usually trains the parent. LOL Try and get her to sit on the potty at certain intervals and she will get her mind and body to work together again.

You don't say how old she is, but "training" for over a year is a rather extraordinary length of time, and indicates she really wasn't ready when you started the process. So she may by now be annoyed by or resistant to constantly being urged to to what she may not be emotionally ready to accept yet. In fact, long training actually makes many children more resistant. On top of that, the information that she'll have to succeed "all the time" into the indefinite future can be pretty overwhelming and discouraging, particularly if she doesn't yet know where that commitment will come from.

However, since she has shown she is physically able to meet your goals, at least sometimes, she is probably getting very close. Having a prize at the end of that ordeal is a problem, though. The prize is her new big girl skill, and new ability to manage another detail of her life. She won't and can't do that if, in her mind, it's all about Mommy wanting her to succeed. If you can remove all parental urging, manipulating, pleading, demanding, and even rewarding from this equation, that may give her the leeway to 'find' her own motivation.

Try simply telling her you are proud of her and KNOW that she'll want to use the potty when she's ready, ask her if she'd be more comfortable with diapers for now, and give her some choice. Keep up with positive messages about the advantages of using the toilet, but keep those low-key. This is ultimately a process the child must own, so the sooner you can give her that option, the better.

She may come around quickly. In a few days, perhaps a few weeks, she may simply realize she'd rather not be in diapers or need to take the time to get changed. But be aware that readiness is not only physical and developmental, it's also strongly emotional. You might find the "readiness" checklists and other tips here to be helpful: http://www.parentingscience.com/toilet-training-readiness...

And incidentally, taking away her reward by changing the rules afterward? Not good psychology, and not fair. Your agreement, as you describe it, was that she try to use the potty "while on vacation." She worked hard to meet that goal, and "she did great." She earned her prize, and THEN you told her the goal was extended to "all the time," and took back her prize. I'll bet she was upset. Will she still trust you next time you want to make a deal?