Potty training.....when Do You Just Have to Push It? or Is That Even Possible?

You cannot force a kid to train from my own experience. I talked to my pediatrician about this and have read up on this a lot, and the average girl is 3 and the average boy is 3.5 years old before they are day potty trained (night is later)- stats per my pediatrician. So, your child, being 3.5 year old boy is not behind at all. I would give it some more time and try not to force it at all or bring it up too much. You don't want him to associate negativity with going potty or it will be that much harder when you do try to encourage him. I would just ask him every once in a while if he wants to go potty on the big boy potty. If he says yes, then great. If he says no, then wait a few days. Most preschools now of days don't require that your son be potty trained, so you don't have that pressure that you have to be trained by a certain time. When he turns 4, if he hasn't shown any interest, then talk to your pediatrician about ways to encourage him. If he was 4.5 years old, then I would try to get him to try to go by enticing him with rewards if he does go. Still don't force him, let him go on his own, but just nudge him a little to make it worth his while to go. He will go eventually when he is ready. And, you probably won't deal with many accidents either since you waited.

I am NOT an expert but my guess is that you cannot force this issue. Even when you seem calm he may sense that you are disappointed in him. I would suggest, if you haven't done it, to research some Potty training books and see if they have some creative solutions. You may want to start a sticker reward system so he can visually see his accomplishment. He can work towards earning something. You can start super small such as, "If you pee in the potty 2 times today you earn ______." Then when he can do that up the number of times etc. Chart it on a sticker chart with his favorite stickers etc. Also bowl function is one thing that we can always control. Make sure he has times during the day in which is has control and choice making. He MAY be using the potty as a control issue if he feels he has no power, choice, or control over other parts of his day (which may not be true but something to think about). I know the pressure is on with the new baby but my gut is that you have to make this a positive experience for him or it will back fire. Good luck!!!! I hope others have helpful insight for you!

He really should be potty trained by 4 but since your have another on the way shortly it might be too much to expect it. He will revert some after the baby is born. Since I expect you are also telling him he will be a big brother, you might want to stress more how going pee and poop in the potty is a BIG BOY thing.

I ended up taking my son to the potty frequently just to try and if he at least tried he was rewarded. Coming in from the cold makes boys have to pee. Hourly is the best bet, before and after meals, and stop all liquids except maybe a very small bit of water two hours before bedtime. I roused myself and my son out of bed twice in the night once before midnight and another time around 3-4am. It was exhausting but a week before he turned 4 he was fully potty trained with only occasional accidents.

Mine was always on the move so while he got when he should go to the potty he simply didn't want to stop what he was doing to go. Good luck!

Honestly, when kids are ready, they potty train really easily.

I think by "pushing" him you will make him go the opposite way. Have you tried taking him to pick out his favorite "big boy" underwear? The catch to that would be that in order for him to wear them, he has to use the toilet for 1 full day. You may also want to get the cotton trainers. I found that these helped my daughter better than anything else. She actually felt the result of peeing in her pants. It did give me more laundry to do for a little while, but I felt that it was more worth it. I also only used the cotton trainers at home.

Other than that...maybe do a reward chart. For every day that he gets x amount of stickers, he gets to wear his big boy underwear the next day...and so on.

Potty training can be a very hard thing to do, and I can completely relate to you with what you are going through! My oldest is 5, and he was just completely potty trained about a year ago! He had been peeing in the potty since about a week after his 3rd b-day, but was not bowel trained until last year, and is still wears goodnites to bed. My 3 year old wants nothing to do with potty training. As frustrating as it can be, I would say just to wait it out, especially with a new baby coming! There is a possibility of him regressing when the baby comes. Having 2 in diapers isn't terrible, I had 3 in diapers for a while! lol
I would just hang in there, and encourage him, but don't push it, that would probably do more harm than good. Good Luck!

We tried the rewards and panty thing with my daughter. What worked for her was books. She loved them. She would sit on the potty for twenty minutes at a time as long as she had a book to look at. We were able to catch her peeing several times so she was able to understand what she was supposed to be doing. Once she did, she day trained in just a couple weeks. Night time took several more months. When my son was born, she regressed a little and had a few night time and quite a few day time accidents for a couple of months, then went back to none. I guess she just needed time to adjust to a new brother. I noticed that another person posted that a lot of preschools don't require children to be potty trained. Where I am from, it is a requirement at almost everyone I called. Good luck.