Having Problems with Potty Training My Almost 3 1/2 Yo Little Man

I would toss the pull-ups. I couple times wetting his pants will do the trick. Yes, it is a pain to clean up, but it works. Also, this worked well with my oldest... Give him a huge cup of juice, set a potty seat in front of the tv, then have a huge hooray when he does it. Only focus on the positive.

Potty training is difficult especially with boys for some reason. I have two boys 6 1/2 and 5 and both were not easy. The way that we did it was motivation, but the motivation was different for each. My oldest son was motivated by toys so we kept a chart and once he had 10 marks on the chart for using the potty he got to get a small toy that he'd had his eye on (nothing over $10). My other son liked gumballs so we got a small gum ball machine and filled it with gumballs and everytime he went potty (actually going not just sitting) he got a penny to put in the gumball machine. Difficulty potty training can also be a control issue and because Dad is gone he may feel things are out of control with the change and that this is something he can have control of. I'm not saying that it will be impossible to do as long as dad is gone but using the motivation technique may give him some sense of control and a visual on his accomplishment.

Get rid of the pull ups! It might be a little messy-but it works! Have him outside now that it's nice out even. The pull up isn't much different than a diaper, however when he has an accident with his underwear on he won't like it and will probably start running to the bathroom once pee is running down his legs. It worked with my little guy. He is 3 1/2 and only wears pull ups at night, and even then if I put the pull up on too early before going to bed, he will sometimes pee in it, although when he has underwear on there are no accidents anymore.

M.,
First of all I want to say thank you to you as a wife of a Nation Guard and Thank you to your husband as well. I too have a 3 yo little man and we are trying to do the potty training thing. One thing that we have been doing since daddy is not here all the time is when anyone goes in to use the potty including me he has to go in and sit on his potty. It does not work every time but we have noticed that he is starting to want to go by himself more often. We have done the pull ups but found that he was just amused that he could make the designs disappear and would not tell us until after he went in his pants just so that he could see the designes go bye bye. Here is just another thing that we tried that has also helped him out. He has a 3 in 1 potty so that he can take the seat portion of it off and put it on the big potty. When he goes by himself he has the choice to sit on the little potty or be a big boy and use his seat on the big potty. We have found that giving him a choice between the two potties and praising him everytime he is on the potty (weather he goes or not) has given him the confidence and encouragement to want to use the potty.

Keep in mind that boys potty train a lot different than girls and in many cases they learn these things slower than girls do.
We discovered this when we helped my sister potty train her little girl. I hope that all of this information helps you out a little bit.

My son is now 15, but when I was potty training him at 18 months, I started out with pull-ups. After 2 months, I realized that pull ups gave the same security as diapers, so I bought big boy undies. It worked in 3 days. He didn't like the feeling of being soaked, so he began to tell me that he had to go.

First of all, get rid of the pull-ups and have him start wearing "big boy" underwear. Just like diapers, he won't be able to tell when he's wet with the pull-ups. Take him shopping and let him pick out his own new undies. Let him roam around the house with just a shirt and his new undies. Quit asking him if he has to go potty every 10 minutes and take him in with you when you go. Yes, ideally it should be your husband but sometimes you just need to improvise. He can have his own little potty next to the big one. With my own son, I'd put a square of tissue in the toilet and that was the "target" my son had to aim for--it worked!!! Of course, use lots of praise with each success and slow down a bit--he can probably sense your urgency to get thing job done before Dad gets home. Let your son come to you when he's ready. Good Luck :)

I would suggest instead of asking him to just take him into the bathroom every 10 minutes and set him on the potty.
Then let him know he will get a reward for going on the potty like a big boy! OR try the whole cheerios game if you would rather him stand...(putting cheerios in the toilet and tell him to aim at those) it works for some, I never used that technique.
I know what your going through I have a 4 1/2 yr old that unfortunately still wears a diaper to bed (only to bed) he wears big boy underwear during the day and goes with out fail. But the whole holding it all night or getting out of bed to go he just won't do, he will continue sleeping and just go in bed. So to save a mattress I do what I have to do.
I also have a 5 1/2 yr old but he has taken to it all, the no bed wetting he has been a big boy doing that since he was 3 1/2. So each child is different.
GOOD LUCK!!

My girls wouldn't potty train in pull ups, they were to much like a diaper and were viewed as such. Even though we called them pull ups, they called them diapers. We bought some of those padded cotton training underwear and some vinyl underwear things to go over them and use those. They saw those as "big girl panties" and after the first couple accidents got a lot better at telling us they had to go potty. Our youngest has recently potty trained this way, although still uses diapers at night. I got a free sample of Good Nights Bedtime Shorts - she sees those as shorts, with a diaper inside, but for some reason she also feels that she can NOT pee in them. Not sure why, but needless to say, I did pay the $11 to buy a pack. Basically, you need to play around to see if you can find something that works. If not, it may be that he's not ready - they all get ready at different ages. If he's starting pre-school in the Fall you may need to check and see if he can go in pull ups or diapers, or if he needs to be potty trained. I have friends with sons around my oldest daughters age (the 3 are withing 6 weeks of each other) and my daughter was potty trained long before the boys were.

It takes boys longer most of the time. Try sitting him on the pot every half hour to hour and make a big deal about him going. My boys never took to the dunking cheerios idea. They wanted to eat them and was not happy they were wasted!! He will eventually get out of the pull ups. Good Luck!

My 4 1/2 year old son just got potty trained this past March. What I did was...told him no more diapers, just underwear. He peed all over himself for 4 days and I did lots of laundry and cleaning up. BUT, in 4 days he got sick of being dirty and started going on the toilet and hasn't stopped! We found that pull ups were too much like diapers and they feel safe going in them. Just make sure you don't get mad at accidents...just remind them gently that they are to go in the toilet. And praise the "trys" a lot! They are so proud of themselves even when just trying. This will probably be harder for your mother to do than you. My mother could not understand why he wouldn't just do it like her son did. Good luck! I didn't think my son would be going to Kindergarten this year because of potty training but he is!!

I had a bit of a hard time with my son too he was not fully potty trained until right after he turned 3 and we started around 2. He was doing really good then I had a baby and he regressed, when he started preschool I had to send him in pull ups to make sure he wouldn't have any accidents because they wanted him fully potty trained before he started. I tried everything from rewards to taking things away & nothing worked. My dr told me not to worry he'd do it when he was ready, so I kind of backed off, still prompted him and encouraged him but didn't make a big deal when he went in the pull up. One day we went to my girlfriends house and her son is 6 mos younger, she too was potty training and we spent the day there, well my girlfriend's son was going all day with prompting and my son was not but that night on the way home he said to me i have to go potty mamma and i was like ok took him went and has never wore a pull up since. So I guess waht I am getting at is he will do it when he is ready just keep encouraging him and one day he'll do it and be so proud of himself he will just keep doing it. Good Luck

Had pretty much the same issues with my youngest child. So I started putting her on the toilet every half hour. When she realized that this would continue unless she started telling me when she had to go (which interrupted her play time) things changed quite quickly. It is so easy for them to get involved with their activity and by the time they realize that they have to go, its too late.

Hello M., Your son is not ready yet. There are a few things that you cannot force a child to do. Pee, poo, eat and sleep. If you make a power struggle out of it, you will lose. Would you force him to take a step if he was not ready? Gently preparing your child is the answer. Go to the library and find books for potty training. They even have them for your son. Relax, it will happen soon enough. They grow up before you know it. Good luck.

Have you tried little tricks like "sinking the cheerios" or other things for him to aim at? It might work.

We didn't use pull ups with our son so I don't know what they're like. Do they let him feel that he's wet? If not, put real underwear on him. Let him feel what it's like to be wet. He won't like it. It means more work for you for a while, but... it will save you a lot of money.

First and for most get rid of the pull ups. High priced diaper in my opinion. I am a mom of three all were potty trained fairly young. I let mine run around with nothing on. Then if I saw the signs rush them to the chair. Yes you will have things get peed on unfortunately but my methods worked for me and other friends kids and family members. Also.....Bribary, bribary bribary. lol I know that sounds bad but it helps. If he goes once in the potty reward him. then if he makes it a whole day reward gets bigger. then no accidents a week. even bigger. Most people stop at a week i think I did one month prize then stopped. know what I mean. Good luck.

Your little guy needs to 'relearn' his body awareness. Seems like he is willing to do this since he looks for the little flags... but he has lost his body awareness of when he has the urge to pee.

The easiest way to regain this is put him in a long t-shirt (one that is too big and goes down to his knees or longer) and put NOTHING on him. This is going to take a little patience on your part...and probably cleaning up a few messes. Keep a close eye on him and when you notice he is peeing say 'YOU'RE GOING PEE!' excitedly of course. Eventually (some kids quicker then others) will connect what you are saying to the feeling he is experiencing. Then you can work on having him recognize that feeling BEFORE he goes pee and get him to the potty in time.

The other thing is you need to really watch him and notice WHEN he pees. We all (even kids) have patterns. How long after he wakes up does he pee, how long after eating or drinking, how often during the day...what time intervals. It should be pretty regular day to day. With this information you can ask at the 'right' times and then he will experience greater success with toilet learning.

We practive EC (elmination communcation) at our house with our 8 month old. There is a good book 'The Diaper Free Baby'. The techniques can be applied to children of any age and can be particularly useful for older children going through toilet learning. We have been doing this with our daughter since she was about 5 months old... even though we do have misses she does have several days a week where we have a 'dry diaper' day.

It's more about learing your child and creating a deep communication with your child and about their elimination needs. It's no different then learning when they are hungry or sleepy.

Good luck!

M.,
The 1st thing I would do is get rid of the pull-ups they are just glorified diapers. I only use them for bed and when we are going away when we are first training. I personally like to use the naked method if it is at all possible. It works great in my house because I have wood floors. If that is not possible I would put pants on with no underwear. So when they do have an accident they will feel it. I also put the patty in the living in front of the Tv. We do not watch a lot of tv in our house so it is a special thing. We put a movie a video that can only be played while sitting on the potty. We also do rewards and treats for sitting on the potty. At first I give them out just for sitting. after he has the hang of it I give only for results. We also read lots of books on potty training from peeing to pooping. We have a book called everyone poops and wheres the poop. Hope this helps I have a boy who was three in april and he is trained during the day hardly ever has accident except when he has a pull up on is outside playing. He knows he will not wet his pants with on he has told me so. Good luck I hope this helps.

pull ups are a waste of money.. they feel just like a diaper..

Buy the boy some cotton underwear.. Yes he will pee in them.. the pee will run down his leg.. it is yucky..

But he will get it...

I trained my daughter in one day with cotton panties.. She peed in them and she got it...

Hi M., My name is M.. I am a mother of 3, 2 boys and 1 daughter. I would recommend not asking your little man if he needs to go potty, just every 1/2 hour take him. Tell him he needs to try to go potty. By giving him the choice he will probably tell you no, kids don't want to stop what they are doing, too busy playing. If you and grandma are consistant we will get the hang of using the potty in no time. One more thing, put him on the potty 1st thing in the am, before and after naps and before nighttime. This will help him to stay dry, then really praise him. Good luck. M.

I tried eveything I could to get my son potty trained. I spent a lot of time at home trying and trying for almost a year. My son was 1 month from turning 4 when he finally got trained. My theory on it is when they are ready they will do it. If you keep on trying and trying and not getting anywhere he is not ready. It is alot of your time wasted. He will show the signs when he is ready. One good thing about my son being a little older once he was trained was- I think we had maybe 2 accidents - and I feel that is because they are more mature to realizing really when it is time to go potty. Plus, I feel that boys are usually a little older when they get trained compared to girls. Good Luck!

M., I just finished potty training a girl, but I ran into the same problem with the whole pull up thing. So what we did is switch from pull up to actual underwear and she was immediately responsive to what was going on. She had two accidents and didn't like peeing in her big girl undies, so that's what we did. And everytime she went potty on the big girl potty we award her with a new sticker for her sticker page, after 10 stickers she gets to go do something fun. My cousin trained a boy though, and what she did was put fruit loops in the toilet, or cheerios, whatever, and tried to get him to aim at the cereal. The most important part is they aren't going to do it until they're ready, I started at age 1 1/2 and she took one year and one day the light switched on and she was ready. Hopefully this helps a little.
T. M

Dear M.,
You may have heard this soooo many times, but when he is ready he will do it. I am totally serious it works. I was pissed at all the people who would tell me the same thing about my now 4 yo, but I couldn't believe it when I stopped asking and I think that within the month he was going on his own.

Good luck, he will do it and stick with it when its his idea, its the only thing he has control over you about.

God Bless,
Cindy in St. Clair

I'm on my 3rd boy and each one was very different. Didn't appreciate how easy I had it with my first one until the 2nd and now the 3rd. I think it's time you went "commando". Unless you are using the pull ups with the liners, the kids can't really feel it. This approach worked with my 2nd one.

Have him go naked for few days and he'll figure it out. If you are not comfortable with that, put him in underwear or cloth training pants. Of course, this means grandma or you will have to be chasing him around. They always go about once an hour and right after drinking. If he's willing to sit on the potty, then he'll get the hang of it quicker.

I'm still waiting for my 3rd one to be ready. He still refuses to sit on the potty.

Good Luck!!!

I am against Pull Ups. Put him in "Big Boy" pants and let him see his pants get wet. When he is wet say " oh, you had an accident, let's put on another pair."

My son also responds to rewards, like m&m's or a special TV show or video.

Thank you, M. for sacrificing your family for our freedom by letting your husband serve.
As far as the potty training goes . . . I learned about 7 kids ago that pull-ups don't work. I have 8 kids under 10, and some are more difficult than others to train, but here's my advice. 1. stop the pull-ups, to the kids, they are the same as diapers. If they mess up, they just get changed. 2. Don't ask him if he has to go. Just put him on the toilet on a regular basis, and stay in there with him, playing, reading, tossing a ball, whatever it takes. Then reward him when he goes. Good luck.

Try setting a kitchen timer for every 20 to 30 minutes, and make it a game. My sister just did that with her daughter she thought is was the greatest thing. I know pullups are great but they can be a crutch. I would try as much as possible to wear underwear (when at home, I know it can get messy if accidents) then they get to know the feeling if they get wet that ooh I don't like that. Hope this was of some help. One other thing don't ask tell him he needs to go, and 9 times out of 10 he will go.

Putting underwear on under a pullup gives the child more of a messy/uncomfortable feeling when they do go pee, but it's not as messy as underwear alone. I also suggest having the child sit on the potty every so often [2 hours for my girl] because they won't always admit to needing to use the bathroom even when they know/feel it. And boys need to be taught to "push all the pee out" when they're learning - their systems are a little different than ours =)

I would get rid of the pull-ups. He is aware that going makes his flags go away, but is he aware of what makes them go away?...getting wet. Pull-ups were not around when I was training my girls. We just went straight to the panties or no panties at all. Pull-ups give the secure feeling of a diaper and pull the wetness away immediately. If he could feel the sensation of this going down his legs or see it on the floor he might realize what he needs to do to keep that from happening. We would just say "don't let the pee get on the floor or oh my! don't pee on Cinderella!" I had two that were trained at 2 1/2, but one lingered til she was 3 1/2. We figured out later that the last one at 3 1/2 was truely afraid of the toilet. (She is 25 now and still flushes and runs!) If you are planning to send him to pre-school, most don't take kids that are not trained. You could use that as a goal for him. Bribery usually works with toddlers! M & M's or stickers for each successful trip to the bathroom with a bigger prize for so many in a row?? You could also talk to him about being a big boy and wouldn't it be cool to be able to pee like Daddy when he gets home from his work. You will find what works for him. Be patient, he'll get it.

With my little boy, we got rid of the diapers completely and only used pull-ups at night and at naps OVER the underwear to protect the sheets, the rest of the time it was just underwear. You just have to go cold turkey and be prepared for accidents. Within 3 days, he was completely trained. After only a few accidents, he would start to go, but then the wet feeling would remind him and he would finish in the toilet. I think that the comfort of the pull-up is what is stopping him. If he has a little pee run down his leg, he's not going to like it so much and will probably choose the potty. It worked for us! Good luck!

My best suggestion is to put him in underwear. My daughter treated pull-ups just like a diaper, so she would go in them without telling me she needed to. Once I put her in underwear, she did much better. He will have accidents at first, but I bet he'll get it much more quickly. Just make sure that you don't get angry with him if he does have an accident (this is the really hard part!) because you don't want him to associate the anger with peeing. Does that make sense? I would just say something like, "Uh oh! We're supposed to go pee in the potty." and then I'd set her on the potty while I cleaned up the mess.

Good luck! I swear there's nothing more frustrating than potty training! :)

I went through the same kind of thing with my second child. My first son practically potty-trained himself and the second just wouldn't do it for nothing! One thing that I found that worked pretty good was I took him to the store and let him pick some special toys that were just for him. The deal was that he could have the toys as long as he stayed dry. If he pottied in his pants the toys got taken away and he had to earn them back by going potty like a big boy. It was hard to take them away because he was just devastated but it started working. He wanted to keep his special toys and started going to the potty, sometimes even when he didn't have to go, just to make sure! People used to tell me that putting him in big boy underwear would help because he wouldn't like to feel the mess in them but he didn't care at all about that and it just made a bigger mess for me. He is a very strong-willed child and doesn't want to do things he doesn't want to do! This is the only thing that got my son going potty on the potty. Don't know if it will work for you but it's worth a shot! My husband drives truck so I am left alone a lot to figure it all out. I think it does help a little boy to actually see daddy do it and see how it's done, maybe it would help your son to wait and let daddy help. Just keep trying, it's all you can do! My son is now a little over three and has finally conquered it except for some overnight accidents. It will happen eventually, just be patient and consistent! Good Luck, I sympathize with you!

M.,
First I want to say WOW you are undertaking alot and I give my thanks to you and your family!
Second, potty training is difficult, and in my experience it is WAY more difficult for little boys. I have worked with children nearly all my life (now I am a stay at home mom) and the boys just dont care LOL. But he WILL get it.
A few questions/comments that I HOPE may help a bit:
*How are your potty training your little man? Are you have him sit or stand? From my experience, sitting is best until he gets it down really good. Maybe even until Dad is home and can really show him how to stand. IF he is standing, you can make it a game, like target practice on cheerios or something in the potty. Also, if he sits, some children are really afraid of the toilet. I have had some boys who have to face the wall and actually look into the potty to KNOW they arnt going to fall in LOL
*Do you have rewards for him going potty? Hand stamps are easy, but he will get all tattooed up LOL. My daughter LOVED hand stamps. We got her stamps she really liked, JUST for potty. If she wanted one, she HAD to go potty. My son, who is 2-1/2, is potty training, and he is more into stickers. He is really not wanting to go potty either LOL. But the stickers intice him sometimes. We even draw our own sticker charts to hang up in the bathroom, he is excited to fill it up when he has made it all by himself!
*I like to make it a game. I will RACE Noah to the potty. I will tell him I am going to go potty first. And sometimes I do. But he REALLY likes the challenge of racing and winning too.
*Put him in big boy undies. It will be MESSY for sure. But you know what, there will be a few times he realizes he DOESNT like that. If he goes poopy in his undies, take it RIGHT to the toilet and put it in there (with him) and tell him, poopy goes in the potty NOT in our pants. I am not mean about this, but lovingly firm. And I even sometimes make Noah smile when I say something like does mama go poppy in her pants? LOL He says No and laughs. LOL Like it would be crazy if I did it. BUT, I want him to realize it is no more better for him to do it. LOL I have been trying to keep him in undies all the time we are at home. Easier if he has no pants on so he can run straight to the bathroom.

I think that is all the tips that I have for ya! Well, except I wouldnt really ASK if he has to go potty. Be happy and upbeat and just TELL him it is time to go potty. I am more forceful with making Noah go potty, because when he is with ANYONE else he goes potty all the time for them. So I KNOW he can, he just doesnt want to LOL. But if you are asking your little man if he wants to go, you are leaving him ALL the control. Dont ask if you dont want to hear no.

Best of luck to you! God Bless!

hey M.,
we had the same problem with my son too. I personally think the pull ups during the day made things worse because they still kept him feeling dry. And the ones that make the "cool" feeling if he pee's in it didn't work. So I let him walk around with big boy underwear on. If he pee'd in them he felt it and felt wet and gross. yes yes there was a clean up here and there, but he learned fast that if he needs to go he better go and fast or else he'll get wet.
another thing that worked is we got him a potty chair. Not the one that goes on the big potty but a separate kids one. He's attached to this teddy bear, so I made the bear go pee pee and poo poo on the potty, and when he wasn't looking i slipped some raisins in the potty to make it look like the bear went poop. He totally got a kick out of that. We gave the bear a sucker (so to speak) and we celebrated and flushed the "poop" down the potty. this seemed to work well.

good luck, it's not easy on your own.

nancy

hi M.,
the best advice is to stop the pull -ups. The are just loke diapers but more pricey. sit him down explain to him that he is now a big boy NO MORE PULL UPS. Take him on a shopping trip and get him "big boy" underwear in whatever characters he may like. He will have a boo or two but be patient he will hate the feeling of peepee on him and stop. ask him to go every 15 to 20 minutes like you are. As soon as you see him waking up with dry diaper take it off . dont give and more than 2 oz. of fliud before bed. This worked for me. i hope it works for you. let me know!

Yeh I am having problems too, but something that seems to be working for pee-pee is to get a cheap egg timer that rings and set it for every 20 minutes and when it dings it's potty time. After a couple of days of this my little one was telling me on his own 90% of the time that he had to go pee. Poop is another story. We got one poop in the toilet but none since. As for pull-ups a waste of money really unless using them at pre-school or something. Get the underware with the thick cotton lining or just the big boy briefs with characters on them Let him help pick them out. We told our little one that if he dirtied them that he'd hurt whichever's character's feelings. As weird as that sounds it has worked here. We told him accidents happen and that's okay but going in his room and going in his underware when he knows the potty is right next door really isn't an accident. So hope that helps and good luck. Oh we do use a diaper at night as well as a pull-up/diaper for a longer trip during the day. So good luck.

Sounds like he *might* not be getting the connection between the wetting and the shapes on his pullup disappearing. Have you explained it to him? I also wondered if your husband being gone could have something to do with his resistance to potty-training? You never know...

Have you tried (GASP) rewarding him every time he is dry? We tried this with my son, I would give him 1 m&m every time he had a 'dry check'. I should probably add that it didn't work...lol...he was too young and I didn't know he didn't like m&ms! Good luck to you (and him)!!

~L.

Don't use pull ups!
Let him use real underwear or go naked now the warmer weather is here. The feeling of getting wet will spur him on to stay dry - pull ups don't help with that and are more like diapers to the kids than proper underwear - there are no consequences to going in them. Let him choose his new big boy pants so he will be proud of them and not want to spoil them.
It's amazing how quick they get it when they can actually feel it although you may have a couple of days of lots of clearing up so warn Grandma and pick a week where you don't have much on that needs doing outside the house.....good luck!

Hey, I married my childhood sweetheart, too! He's currently away with the military, too... I've noticed that there are hardships and benefits to the away time. People looking in never expect to hear about the benefits...

I think your instincts are good... it is likely that he is just not ready. Trying to find a reason for that is probably not going to be effective, and might use up a lot of energy you could use more happily somewhere else.

It seems he's got the idea that he's trying to do this 'for you' (the 'sorry, mom' part)... which is something you may want to address. He needs to be potty trained for him, not for you (or his dad, or grandma or anyone else). He does have an natural internal drive to mature, master his bodily functions and become civilized so he can be an adult... if he were ready, it would go swiftly and smoothly. Or, rather, when he is ready, it will go swiftly and smoothly.

Some children have a great deal of body awareness at a very young age, while others don't know what you're talking about until they're much older than 'average'. Once he's 7, it will be impossible to tell if he learned to use a toilet before 2 or before 5. He may simply not yet have any awareness of the sensation that indicates he's about to go... so he can't tell you, because he has no idea. The new cool-sensation pants make may a difference to that... or they may not. They may be worth trying, who knows?

I spent an entire week working with my son just before his third birthday. I made it fun for him by telling him he could make bubbles in the toilet. I make him go in and count to 10 or 20, or say the alphabet. Most of the time he will go before he finishes. Sometimes my husband will 'race' him to the bathroom to get him to go. Be patient all kids are different. I have heard of some parents who put cheerio's in the toilet for 'target' practice. Best of luck.

I agree with the comment on the pull-ups, they can't feel it(it's just like a diaper). I found that putting on two pair of the thick training underwear worked well. My sons could feel the wetness, but they didn't get everything wet. Try having him sit on the toilet,while drinking, until he goes. Until he gets the hang of it, you should decide when he goes. Good Luck!

Don't worry, every kid has his or her own timing... my son trained at 2 1/2 years old, then regressed! He finally trained again at about your son's age ( what a long road that was, but we stuck to it )... I found the key was not only asking him if he needed to go, but putting him on the potty once every hour and having him sit for awhile. You can vary this to every half hour too. Eventually he will see that he might as well go on the potty since he's there.... and what praise he will get for being a grown boy when he does! Try stickers, reward certificates, or maybe SMALL toys you know he will like ( like maybe extra McDonalds toys or something from Wat-Marts 88 cent section??)or a special trip to the park with mom for rewards. NO candy!
Good luck, you will both be fine!

M.,

I totally agree with all the moms who say he is just not ready yet. My son was 3 1/2 when he became potty trained. I tried everything. I would even set him on his own potty cahir for 20-30 minutes and he would do nothing. Then quite often less than 5 minutes after he got up, he would pee. He knew what to do he just didn't want to do it.

I know it can be very frustrating especially doing it yourself but really he will do it when he is ready. Somebody told me that by what I was doing, all I was doing was training myself.

Good Luck

Hi M.,
My son will be 4 yrs old in August and just recently became potty trained (not at night). That cliche that when they are ready they will do it, is so true. One day he decided and within a week he was trained. The videos/DVDs and books were fine, but I didn't think they were what made him successful. A few things that worked for us was using M & M's and stickers as an incentive (we are not big sugar eaters so it was literally 2 M & M's for a poop and a sticker for going pee). When he filled the entire sticker chart he got a small prize. The other thing that I think was the most effective was putting the potty in the room that he watched Sesame Street in the morning. I was a bit nervous after he started producing that he would only be able to go to the bathroom in front of the t.v. but not so. Once he started going regularly, I simply took the potty back to the bathroom where he goes regularly now. I even eventually took the little potty away and he goes on the big toilet. Just really be patient and it will happen. Good luck!

i know you're going to get a million different responses to your question.
personally, what finally worked for my daughter was getting rid of the pullups and just using regular underwear. yeah, it's going to be a pain and messy and frustrating, but in the long run you'll be pullup free and the whole process will be less lengthy than going the pull-up route.
by the way, we did still use them in the car on long trips, but usually those were dry everytime we would stop for a bathroom break.
best of luck!!

M.;

I thank you for posting this and all the mom's that have answered so far!

I was to the breaking point myself until I read all of these responses. I am going through almost the same deal. My son will be four in August; he is pre-registered for Pre-School for September (Yikes!) and he still will not go on the Potty unless I put him there (and still it's only pee.).

So; I have my faith renewed. Thanks so much for posting; and I am very happy to know that I am not the only one out here in "Mommy Land" with a son that refuses to go on the Potty!

:P

Good Luck with yours! :)

Greetings M.,

Potty training takes patience and time. It sounds as if you all are doing the rights things. Just keep on doing what you are doing. Praise your son for his successes and give him hugs. See if you can find Elmo's Potty Time DVD.
Much success to you!

Joy, Love, and Peace,
S.

PLEASE PLEASE take my advice. I have a now 4 1/2 year old. HE was 3 years and 8 months when he finally was potty trained. I know how you are feeling right now... you are frustrated, fed up with changing diapers on such a large child, especially the #2 ones, and you are probably embaressed. I was feeling all those things and I am sure my frustration rubbed off on him. ANd then the "Come on enough is enough, this is getting ridiculous" When I look back it was the biggest mistake I made as a parent...sometimes shaming him. So I finally just left him alone (advice from my DR) I stopped bugging him, I stopped asking if he had to go and when he came and asked for his diaper to be changed I didnt get mad that he didnt try to go on the potty. Then one day he came down stairs and said "MOM, I went poop on the the potty," I said, "NO you didn't" he said, "yes come and look." Sure enough he did, and after a week has been accident free!!!!! None at all. So my advice is leave him alone....he will do it when he his ready! Boys, especially the first born ones, take a lot longer.

Summer is coming, I love to be outside. The way i potty train 3 of my kids is put underwear on them. If they have a accident. they are not going to like the feeling of being dirt and wet. Then i wash then outside. I had to do a lot of washing those years And keep ask if they have to go to the potty. When in the house. i used the thick cloth potty training pants with a plactic over it. .My dr and people always told me that boy just take longer to potty train. I think he will when he is ready.

M.,

My daughter was 3 1/2 years old and we were getting desperate because everything we tried didn't work toward getting her potty trained.

We spoke to our pediatrician who recommended putting her in a long t-shirt and nothing else. Give her plenty to drink (as much as she would take) and then take her outside to play in the yard. She wasn't able to hold it back and didn't like the feel of pee running down her legs (I know this won't happen in your case) but it really helped her understand what was happening.

My son was much easier to train thank goodness. But, my sister, had trouble with her son. She encouraged him to pee on rocks. For a boy this was alot of fun and really helped to get him trained successfully.

I know this sounds a little drastic but when you've tried everything you're willing to try any suggestions.

Good luck! It will happen.

Pull-Ups never worked for my daughter. I am sorry, but in my opinion they work just like a diaper. I suggest going to Meijer or Target (this is where I bought mine from) and buying training underwears. The exact name of them are waterproof vinyl trainers. They are made by Gerber. They are plastic on the outside and cotton on the inside. Meijer has them in the isle where potty trainer stuff are, Target keeps them with the onsies and infant pjs. They cost about 5.99 for two and they are not disposable like pull-ups. I use to make them fun for my daughter by putting stickers on them everytime I would check to see if they are dry. If they were still dry she got another sticker but when it got wet, i would pull it off, take off the stickers and start all over. These makes the child feel the pee rather than feel it for a second and then it is dry in the pull-up (just like a diaper). I used pull-ups on my daughter for a good month with no results, my sister-in-law told me about these and within two days, my daughter finally got the concept. The other thing you want to keep in mind is at 4, they go to pre-school, they will not accept children with diapers. I have a set of 23 month old twins and am dreading potty training!! Good luck and please let me know how it goes.

Hi M.! Don't panic---he won't go to college with a pull-up! haha

Hey, I can just share what worked for me and my little guy. He is now almost 3 (May 24) and has been potty-trained for about 6 months.

He just LOVED LOVED LOVED to sit on his potty and watch a couple of favorite potty DVDs/videos:

1. Bear In The Big Blue House Potty Tim
2. Elmo's Potty Time
3. It's Potty Time (for Him)

These are all great DVDs/videos and you can find them anywhere--even on ebay where you'll get them cheaper. They helped him to truly 'figure it out'..and I didn't have to push at all. I did find that it helped to not only ask if he had to go but to suggest that he sit down and try. Good luck and try the videos!!

Hey M.. I am in the same boat as you. My husband (highschool sweetheart) travels for work during the week and I am home with my soon to be 4 year old son who detests potty training. I had to try something so I put him in underpants only around the house and filled him with fluids and stressed to him that he needs to stay dry. Yes, we had several accidents but it finally clicked. He still wears a pullup when we leave the house, but believe me, this is a huge step for him. He is very stubborn and I thought it would never happen, but finally he is learning. Good luck to you.....