Potty Training with New Baby Coming

I was like you, didn't want 2 in diapers. SO when #2 came along I pushed #1...and it was not good. She was the hardest to potty train. When #3 came along #2 wasn't really talking well. So didn't think he could tell me when he needed to go potty. At 2-1/2 he ripped off his own diapers & went & was trained completely in 3 days. With children 3-5 I just waited and at about 2-1/2 and it was much better.

WIth a new baby & a move, you don't need to be trying to train her. She may revert back to diapers because moves are stressful on little ones. Everyone is tired, things are unfamiliar and routines are off. Don't push the training. Having 2 in diapers isn't as hard as it sounds & you'll be thankful you waited until you get settled.

Congrats on the baby & best of luck on the move.

Wayyyy to early most kids are not trained until almost three. Don't even try on this you will just get upset.sorry!

Hi, Amanda~

If you're home with her (and you are), you can realistically have her trained by 2. I reared 4 (now 20-31 yrs old) and had all of them fully trained by 2 (although one was just barely).

First, start noticing if she's dry upon awakening (one of mine started awakening dry before 1 yr, so I had a real head-start with THAT one! LOL). You have to be there right when they start moving around, tho, to catch it (and I wasn't all that diligent about getting up early. That baby must've slept LATE!) Anyway, just take her to the potty about every hour or two, and give it a try. If there's success, praise her to high heaven. If not, just go about your business and say, "I guess you didn't have any." or something like that. The first few times, tho, you need to stay there UNTIL there's success so she'll know what the goal looks like (and feels like)! You can look at books or family pictures, practice naming body parts, use shape sorters, etc. I LOVE potty training -- even with my grandkids (I'm a 'people person/talker', and it gives me an excuse for NOT having to do housework! If you're a 'doer' -- and/or a perfect housekeeper, it'll probably be harder on you).

Oh, and by now you can probably realize by her actions/sounds when she needs to have a BM. Just whisk her away to the potty at the first sign of a 'notion'! After the baby comes and has 'yukky' diapers, reinforce to DD #1 how, 'Aren't you glad you put this in the potty instead of wearing it?' etc. It's all good!

You didn't say when you're moving (I don't think you did, anyway), but as long as you're pretty consistent, it should go well. She'll start telling YOU when she needs to go (and praise her for THAT, too!)

Good luck!!

I also moved when I was thinking about training my 2yr daughter. I also had a 4 yr boy. Yes, I thought it was easier with my daughter. If she is already aware that she is going potty in her diaper, then it should be pretty easy, well it was in my case. I put the potty chair in the bathroom, and everytime I went I would let her sit on the potty and tell her to try and go.I would also recommend a small reward for her going; like a sticker. Don't forget to tell her what a big girl she is every time she goes.There will be accidents, I know you like the cloth diapers, but since your in the middle of moving I would try pull-ups. they are close to panties. Just be patient if she doesn't catch on. I wish you the best of luck.

You know your daughter and as long as you are positive and let her explore this concept and don't force her to do anything she is not ready for I don't think that there is anything wrong with introducing the idea of using a potty. She may do great and she may regress. Try not to let it stress you out. When you go out you can pack some extra clothes or put some plastic pants over the cloth potty training underpants - I think that they may even make some cloth pull-up like underwear that is waterproof. I'm not always very good at this, but consistency is key here.

It sounds to me like she's ready. I listened to all the "advice" that says not to even try to p-t if there is a major life change coming, and I wish I hadn't. My older son showed evidence of being ready to p-t when I was about 7 months pregnant (he was about 18 months), but I didn't follow up on it, knowing it would just be a few months until the baby came; then he seemed to grow out of the "early potty-train" stage and exhibited little or no interest in using the potty. I wish that I had at least tried, though, so I would know. Then we moved when our baby was 6 months old, so I used the upcoming/recent move as an excuse not to p-t. I think we would have saved a lot of time and money on diapers if I had ignored the "prevailing wisdom"... but I'll never know.

Don't let anyone insult her capabilities and intelligence. 60+ years ago, ALL children were potty trained BY age two. The nouveau parenting ideas have children crapping their pants at 4 years old. The book Toilet Training in Less Than a Day worked like a charm on my 27 month old boy, in less than a day. The reviews on www.amazon.com for the book are mixed, but the people who didn't like it didn't follow the instructions, or thought there was something wrong with telling a child that it's gross to wet one's pants, and that that should be done in the toilet... They are the ones with 4 year olds still in diapers. I would absolutely have it done before your new baby comes, and she is none too young. It is empowering to the child and gives them self confidence and independence (she'll start being able to do more for herself). The method is extremely positive and rewarding. Plan to spend a day at it, but it's well worth it. The method in the book was tested in a research setting and had 100% success IFFFF both parents were on board. You can skip the first three chapters of the book and get straight to the method in chapter 4. Good luck!

Amanda,
I know you've gotten a lot of advice but here's one more. When I was pregnant with my second and first was 2 1/2 I talked to my mom about this very subject. I am the youngest of three girls with slightly less than three years between me and the oldest. I asked my mom how she dealt with two in diapers at the same time and she said she never did. This means my two sisters were both trained before 18 months. It sounds as if your daughter may be ready and it in fact could be easier to train her now. I would recommend getting a potty chair and see what happens. You don't say how long it is until the move but if you have a couple of months that may be long enough for the training to stick. It's important to recognize she may regress after the baby is born but if you take special time with her, make her feel special and reward her being the big girl it shouldn't last long.

Good luck,
L. D.

Actually, it will be much easier with 2 in diapers. Change baby, now it's my precious girl's turn. Wait till you are all settlrd, then, spend a week with her. She will be ready by then, and used to the new baby and new place. Good luck, you sure have a lot ahead of you.

I think that you should hold off the potty training until after the baby is born. The 1 1/2 year old will be stressed out enough with the moving and the birth of the sibling. She may regress if already potty trained. I had that problem with my oldest son after his little brother was born, and they were 2 1/2 years apart. He picked the potty training right back up after a couple of months. I'm sure your daughter will let you know when she is ready. You will know the signs, believe me. Most of all, be patient, do not let yourself get stressed out over the potty training. I also did the same but when my oldest child was ready and we worked as a team between mother and child, it became a joyous experience I will never forget, and it should be the same for you. Have fun, and good luck with the move and the new arrival!

Amanda,
First things First - you know your daughter and her abilities better than anyone who can give you advice on Mamasource...
Having said that - my first child turned 2 two weeks after our second child was born. In the months prior to that he was showing all the signs of being ready to be done with diapers, so we figured it would be a quick and easy transition. We were a little surprised that once the baby came along, #1 child regressed and preferred diapers again...refused to go even pee pee in the potty. Then our lives went in to even more upheaval as my reserve unit mobilized, then a few months later the family began traveling between MO, TX and GA visiting extended family for about 6 months finally coming to rest in GA when I returned home. During all of the moving and changes, my oldest child worked on Potty Training - but until we were finally settled into a routine in GA - (when he was a little over three and the baby was 14 months old) he did not completely potty train.
I have know of other families whose moves and new children have not had any impact on Potty Training.
Bottom line is this - you know you family and your child the best. Keep trying and don't get discouraged if she relapses. She will eventually be Potty Trained and the less stress (upset about her having accidents. forcing the issue, etc.) involved in the process the better.
Best of luck to you and your family as you welcome a new baby into the family, move to a new location and continue on your Journey of Life and Parenthood!

Blessings
T.

Amanda,
I have 3 sons. We are from MO and moved to TN. My oldest wanted to wear big boy pants like Daddy when he was around 17 mos. We had it really easy and he only had a few mistakes and usually that was when we just could not get to the bathroom fast enough. My second one was 2.5 when he finally even would try to use the bathroom but I was pregnant it seems the larger my belly became the less interested he was in using the bathroom. We decided to just hold off until after the baby and let him adjust to that first before trying to potty train. We ended up doing double diapers for 7-8 mos. It really was not that bad and when we made a trip to Montana from MO it was actually easier because I could lay one down change then the other. I know it seems overwhelming but changing diapers really is not that bad and it really is easier when traveling. If you do get your daughter trained before your move just remember that they will need to stop more often than adults to use the facilites which are not always the cleanest. I know how stressful moving can be, I can only imagine how it is with an 18 mos. and being pregnant. Good Luck and God Bless!

I have potty trained about 28 kids and all of them are different. I can give you advice that worked for me. For my grandaughter who was two, I bought a cake balloons, and a doll with a potty. I sat the doll on the potty and gave her a drink and she peed in the potty. Then we clapped and made such a big deal out of the doll using the potty. We did it several times and Jade got so excited. Then we put her panties on her and gave her a new potty chair. She sat on the chair and used it over and over and would get up and grin and laugh. We made such a big deal out of our "potty party" and she was trained from that day on.

Second grandbaby....it didn't work. She was trained around 2 1/2 by just trying over and over.

My son, we used a coke bottle. He would "fill her up" and we would mark on the bottle how high it was. He couldn't wait to "fill her up" again. We would mark the line again. He was potty trained completely at 18 months.

My daughter was 2 and she use to take off her panties and sit on her potty and pee. One day I found her "sitting" with the lid up, in the toilet with her shirt on. She was so cute and I got a picture, but this isn't what you want to have happen!

Hope this helps, and remember, praise works wonders, and be patient.

My experience w/ both kids was to let them go at their own pace & it really paid off.

Tho, my daughter was starting herself at 17 months (gawd!) and we were getting ready to move. I chose not to support her until after the move. That was a good decision for us.

Consider the hassle of moving & the convenience of diapers in a chaotic time of your life. Public potties can be pretty gross & having to rush to accommodate a very young bladder/bowl while juggling an infant is not all that much fun.

My son was done the day after his 3rd bday & my daughter was done just before her 2nd. We had NO accidents. My daughter is still in "night-time pants", but why sweat the small stuff, right?

Good luck with your move & I know you will make the right decision for your family!

P : )

Potty training a child can be stressful, so I would consider that. Do you really want to add more stress during an already stressful time? Moving isn't going to be stressful just for you, it will be stressful for your daughter, as well. Children are resilient, but your daughter will also go through a time of instability and readjustment to her new environment. Even children who are already potty trained often relapse when they move.

My advice would be to wait. It is true that it is better to potty train children when they are ready. A two-year old is generally not ready, but of course, there are exceptions.

If you haven't done so already, you might try purchasing a toddler "potty" chair. This way your daughter can get used to it before you move. If she "takes" to it, you might try seeing how she does before you move, but don't force her. Children typically will urinate in a toilet before they will defacate in one.

Ordinarily, I would suggest using something like huggies pull-ups, but I'm not sure that your daughter is old enough to use them. I can say that when toilet training, though, it helps if the child is not still wearing diapers, cloth or otherwise. Either huggies pull-ups or training pants would be better. Diapers confuse the child and they're not able to take them off to use the potty.

Again, my advice would be to wait. You daughter is going to go through two stressful events - moving and the addition of a baby, which means she will get less attention from you and will have to adjust to both a new location and a new sibling and therefore, a new place in the family order. The less stress she has, the better her adjustment to both events. Since potty training can be stressful for parent and child, I do think it's better to wait until things have calmed down somewhat and she is developmentally ready to potty train.

My best friend Dee trained her oldest son by his second birthday (she had one the way born two manths later.) It was a terrible four weeks, but she got it done. Of course the added stress of her hormones did more harm than good, but she is glad she did it. Her youngest turn two in October and she began training him three weeks ago. He goes every time, no problem (and much less stress than the first.)

My two were only 17 months apart, so I waited. I had two children in "store bought" diapers for about a year. Although it was more expensive than I would have liked, it wasn't all that stressful. I think this is something that you really have to know your child and what you can help her handle. If you think that with everything else going on she may be feeling a little stress, then wait a bit. You maybe able to help her become a "big sister" a month after the baby is born and train her then.

Good luck, and I will pray for you to have a stress free decision!

With some major changes going on I would wait till after the move for sure. I know you do not want two in diapers but children are effected by the slightest things and may not even be aware. My sister was completely potty trained, no accidents or anything, then we moved and she started having accidents and had to relearn potty training. She was not evn aware how the move affected her.

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Amanda, congratulations! My children were about the same age as your's when my second came along. I know you've gotten alot of great advice but I'll just share my bit with you. My oldest was a month from turning 2 when I found out I was pregnant, that next weekend, we flew to Germany for a new duty station. Rather than try to potty train en route, I chose to wait until we were in our home and "settled." She had been working a bit in daycare before the move, but mommy didn't get serious about it until then. I worked great. By the time the baby came, she was trained even for nights, and did not have any "rebounds" after the baby. I made sure she was involved with the care of the baby, as safe as possible, and dad was great about taking the baby so we could still have our time together. I feel because of this, my girls have always been close and have a great relationship. The only real trouble I've had has been recently, but then they are 12 and 10 right now! Best of luck to you and I hope you have a smooth move!

I guess you could say that I technically started potty training my son when he was walking very well, around 14-15 months. I would just take him to the bathroom when I would go so he could see it and tell him. When he had a poopy diaper, I would say "you did a poopy" and when he had a pee diaper I would say, "you did a pee-pee" so he would know what he was doing. That way when he went with me to the bathroom I could say - mommy "pee-pee" and he would know what that meant. Then at about 18-19 months I bought a potty chair because I noticed that he would go behind a chair and hide, so he could stoop down and poo or pee. That there signaled to me that he had knowledge of what he was doing so I started potty training then. Within about 3 months I had him pee-peeing in the potty throughout the day - at night I put a pull up on him because his little body was quite ready to wake before he had to pee. I was persistent and consistent. I also, took note of when he would have his "normal" bowel movements in the morning and I would get him on the potty about 10 minutes before and give him a book or puzzle to play with. After doing this for about 4 months and after we got peeing in the potty down pat, he was pooping in the potty too. If you can manage to get her potty trained during the daytime, night time isn't as bad. Get you a mattress cover and limit what they drink late in the evening. Make them go to potty before bed and they will eventually be trained completely. It takes patients, persistence, and they like lots of praise and celebration when they finally get trained. Reward her for every milestone - pee in potty, poo in potty, and then not peeing at night in the bed. It took a lot of work but my son was completely potty trained by the time he was 2 1/2 years old, which as you stated is something of a miracle for boys. I think if she is stooping to poop and pee, she is probably ready for you to introduce it to her. Only you can evaluate how well and how fast you get her trained. I hope she is at least peeing in the potty before your move and new arrival gets here.

Amanda,

"Way too early" on the potty training is very much dependent on the child. It sounds as if you can start transitioning to the "big" girl potty. (I found my son loved the special potty training potty.) The best piece of advice that I can give would be to be prepared for a relapse, but don't let her know that you are prepared for one. (You know your child best, so use your best judgement on this. If my son knew that I did have a pull up, he would have gravitated to it like nothing else. Never used my back up once when it came to that. I did keep at least one clean set of clothes for each two hour period we wouldn't be home in case of accidents.)

Good luck, and I hope that you have success. Be relaxed and do not give up or give in. Even try letting her pick out her new big girl panties. A lot of children love that.

M. F.

P.S. Make sure to make the potty sound like the coolest thing in the world. My two youngest brothers helped in that respect when my son started, and he helped me with the children I babysat as far as throwing away the dirty diaper. It made him feel so grown up. But, someone said in here is that you know your child best. None of us can tell you what to do. We can only give suggestions. (Although, I will tell you that I have never ever had a child around me that wasn't potty trained well before third birthday. All children are different in many different aspects though.)