Potty Training Unwilling Toddler

Try letting her see you use the toilet. Set her on her potty while you go potty in the big toilet. Maybe she needs to see you do it first.

Sounds like she is not ready. If she does not feel ready, she will fight you. Let her lead the way.

Lots of things can happen between now and next fall.

I never had any success with toilet training unless the child was ready to do it. Sometimes the "spur" came from having a friend who used the potty; sometimes it was just the child's own decision. But I rather think toilet training is like eating; it's something the child is in control of, basically.

If your daughter is being resistant because Mama is pressing her to do this - and she *is* at that age - then obviously if Mama decides to act as if it's not such a big deal, daughter is more likely to think, "Hey, this may be a good thing."

First of all you are sending her to nursery school in the fall. Eight months
from now. She obviousy is not ready. Let it go for now. I would do it
during the summertime. By then, I assume) she will be 3 and ready.
Do not sweat it right now. If you keep pushing her now, it will backfire on you.

i agree with Mary L. she's not ready and you're making it a battle (and it's one you can't win). give it a rest for a month or so and then try again. and don't push, but continue to make it a fun, positive thing. we tried a couple times before it worked (my son was 3). i think the third or fourth time was when he finally got it, and at that point it was fairly effortless. better than a 6 month long battle...!

OK, I was skeptical but I tried the advice on this site:
http://www.rogerknapp.com/medical/pottytrainingrefusals.htm
and it worked : )

I started training my guy at 22 months and his main thing was he wasn't going to poop in the potty, he would do it if and when he chose, once on the carpet, ewwww, and he was becoming a master at holding it, not good! I tried stickers, a reward chart, Matchbox cars, Thomas the Train underwear, even Jelly Bellys, (and I am against using food as a reward, lol) and none of it worked more than a time or two. We stopped training twice and then I read the suggestions on this site and put them to use...the key was the "power incentive."

Basically, all rewards work for some children, none of them work for all children, and for some meeting the goal of being potty trained is the reward in itself. So what may work for other parents won't necessarily work for you and your daughter. You, as her parent, have to find THE one "power incentive" that will motivate YOUR daughter, not another child. For my guy it was a "Toy Story" DVD. I owned it (otherwise, per the advice, he would have lost interest in complying with training as he would have attained the material prize) and when he pooped in the potty he was allowed to use it 30-60 minutes, and only then. I kid you not, within a day and a half he was running to the potty to poop so as to not go on himself! This was shortly before he turned 2.5.

It typically takes 3-6 months to potty train a child, you still have time. Read the advice and figure out what her "power incentive" is, buy it and have it ready for her to use, and relax, it will happen : )

After a disasterous false start w/ my kiddo that ended in us abandoning the whole thing for two months, I started again by asking him each day, "Would you like to wear underpants today?" He'd answer, "NO!" and I'd say casually, "OK, maybe tomorrow." This went on for about 3 weeks, and one morning he said "Yes!" Just as casually, I said, "OK, let's put them on."

If you get this far, I suggest setting a timer for 30 or 45 minutes, and then "when Mr. Timer says 'ding', it's time to sit on the potty." This takes some of the arguement out of the equation. We also used M&M's as a "reward" (ok, bribe) - if he sat w/o shrieking while I counted to 30, he got one M&M - just for the effort. If he actually made a peepee, then two M&M's.

Does she like Sesame Street? The Elmo Potty Time dvd is actually really good. And it's brought to you by the letter P and the number 2, wouldn't you know? :)

Good luck - it's been (and still is) a long process for us. Our friends' bright and stubborn 3-yr-old daughter suddenly decided one day that she was done with diapers. And that was it!

http://www.3daypottytraining.com/

That's all I have to say, lol! This program really works! Did it with both my girls, oldest (very strong willed and had failed a previous training) was textbook, 3 days and done. Youngest took 11 days, but she did it. Trained both at about 26 months. And this is for nights too!

Program is $24, and you can chat with the lady who wrote it if you get stuck (did that a lot with my youngest - always very helpful!). All my friends who have used it have had success too.

Best wishes!

We're doing a potty training boot camp right now with my daughter who will be 3 in March. Not a specific program, just what I think will work for her. She's much like your daughter - she wouldn't even do it for M&M's! What's working so far is the "pantless" approach. For the first two days, she did everything all over the floor. But without fussing at her, I'd just grab her and run to the potty. She doesn't want to sit still - her cheeks hit the seat and she's already saying, "I'm done." But we've had some successes today. She's gotten to where when the tee-tee dribbles down her leg, she can cut it off till we get to the potty. So I'm figuring it will come. I guess the point of this ramble is, trial and error will be best. (A chart worked for my first daughter - she put a sticker for each day she stayed dry and after a week, she got a care bear. Half of the reward for her was the stickers!) Hang in there! She'll get it! (Let us know how it goes!)

I SWEAR by the 3 day potty training method. I have been the daycare support person for 8 kids ages 22 mos to 29 mos who have done this and, after a discussion just today with some of my daycare friends who I have shared this info with...we counted at least 34 more kids..the providers own, their daycare kids and other relatives branching out and out..just from MY start with spreading the info!!! I should be a spokesperson for her!! ALL SUCCESSFUL.

Some took a few more than the "3 days", but all made it work. They never forced their child or bribed them to sit on the potty when the parent wanted them to (altho I give ONE M&M for success, not for trying but for actual elimination). It gives the child the power and like DVMOM said, you learn to see the "look" or whatever teency weency indication they offer that pee is imminent! It does work. Most of my peeps report day one and 2 are HARD..lotsa pee and accidents. By day 3 success is really there and gets fantastic and amazing from that point. But you have to be commited and toss the diapers and pull ups totally and follow the program.

I am of the school of thought that kids are allowed to use diapers, bottles, pull ups (OMG the worst invention ever in my book), pacifiers and sippy cups FAR too long and not encouraged enough to be independant and successful in these things for the ease of adults. I have worked with kids and families my entire adult life...25 years now and its all I have ever done.

Just My opinion...best of luck!!!

I know what you're talking about. Mine is the same age and we're going through the exact same stuff. Candy didn't work. Positive reinforcement didn't work. Loading up on liquids didn't work. Underwear didn't work. (though she really wants to wear it, just not use the potty). And girls were supposed to be easier to train than boys - my boys didn't give me this grief! Good news is that preschool is still a ways away and she's old enough that when she's either ready or you decide that it's happening one way or the other - it will only take a few days.