Potty Training Stubborn Boy!

Updated on January 07, 2008
R.C. asks from Evansville, IN
11 answers

My son will be 3 Jan. 21, and I have had alot of trouble potty training. We started when he turned 2 because he showed a lot of interest in it. Yet, here we are almost a year later and he still has a lot of trouble. We have tried everything, from a small tootsy roll for going, to sticker chart, to trying to let him go at his own pace. We've sang songs while he is going, we've read books. The only thing I don't think I've done is sing and dance for him, but I'm tepted just to see if it works. He will typically go okay at home, but he has a really hard time at school. If I keep him in a pull up at home, he tends to stay dry as long as I ask him every hour if he has to go. If I put him in big boy underwear, he will pee in them every thime. I even let him pick out his own underwear that he could be proud of. He picked Thomas the Train and Spiderman. I'm not sure what else to do, and am starting to feel like he'll be in his twenty's before I get him potty trained. Any advice is greatly appreciated.

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D.W.

answers from Jacksonville on

A treat basket and potty chart at the same time worked GREAT for my son.
What REALLY got him was putting underwear on him one day. He had underwear on and no pants all day and he told us everytime he had to go. It was scary, but a lot easier than I thought!

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C.D.

answers from Chicago on

It was the same way with my son! There was nothing I could do to get him potty trained. So I finally gave up, then one day out of the blue when he was 3 1/2 he just said no more diapers and that was it. Just hang in there, he will do it when he wants to.

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T.S.

answers from Chicago on

Hey! It isn't ever easy! My son is two and has gone to the bathroom several times, but now he doesn't want to go/isn't interested (I find the more interested I am the less he is). I am taking a break from it all until the summer so it doesn't become a power struggle. It seems like it may have become that way so I would take a break. My sister potty trained her son at 4, she did it in a day. He is very smart, is reading and math so it isn't about any of that. She just waited until he was ready. I am following the lead with my son so I don't stress over it! Good luck!
T.

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S.

answers from Chicago on

Don't feel so bad. My son is 3.5 and I too have tried everything that you have with no luck. I ask my son why he went in his pants when the "oval office" --the bathroom is 3 steps away. His reply--" mom, it is to far to walk". I have asked the doctor and am told when he is ready it will happen. I asked him the other day when he thinks he might get potty trained. His response-probaly at 16 mom. I think it will take one of his neighborhood friends making fun of him during the summer to get him to go in the oval office. My problem is that even the size 6 diapers on snug on him and I can't find any larger sizes. I will have to get him depends soon--ha ha..

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C.A.

answers from Chicago on

My first son was not potty trained fully until he was 3.5 years. That was because I just backed off. It was stressing the both of us out. I was very frustrated and also thought to myself that he would soon turn twenty and not be potty trained. My pediatrician suggested just taking a chill pill. I literally just gave up, and lo and behold he just got it one day, and just started doing it all of his own! But then you have to deal with wiping the walls continuously and the ever present puddle around the base of the toilet. Really though, boys never really learn to aim that thing- just ask my husband. Good luck ;)

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A.Q.

answers from Chicago on

Sounds like my Son. We ended up telling him on a Sunday that Friday will be his last day in Diapers, kept reminding him all week long and made it a big deal come friday (maybe it was Saturday can't remember). Once that day came, we put him in big boy pants and dedicated the entire weekend to potty training. We didn't leave the house (very stressful). He purposely pottied himself, but we let him sit in it. I know this sounds horrible, but it was the only way. He was not one to sit on the potty willingly either, but we brought it from room to room where ever he went. Come Monday, he never looked back. We kept him in a diaper at night for a few days just in case of accidents. He is now almost 5 and has only had 2 accidents at night. One suggestion is to tell him he is now to go to the bathroom in the big boy potty (we also bought fun books about pottying) because my son was smart enough to tell us we only said he was going to wear big boy pants and not that he was going to potty in the big boy potty. He then said monday he would go potty on the potty and he did. Just make sure you are clear in what you are asking from him and GOOD LUCK!

1 mom found this helpful
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K.K.

answers from Chicago on

Hang in there. One of my favorite potty training books is, Potty Training in Less Than a Day. It takes more than a day, but one of the tricks I have always used is: asking if they are keeping there pants dry. Focus on the dry, not the wet. Every time they I asked if they kept there pants dry they would get a cracker, which would lead to drinking water, which would lead to going potty. I have also put books next to the potty and just let them look at it or have read to them to if it helps them. Don't worry about how long it takes. When your son is ready he will use the potty. Don't let it stress you out, or it will become an even bigger issue with him. After being a nanny for several different families and potty training several different children, each with their own pace, I've learned that they will eventually use the potty. Just make it fun and let him go at his own pace.

1 mom found this helpful
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L.R.

answers from Chicago on

Oh, R., I feel your pain! I seriously thought my daughter was pee pee potty-trained last March because she was going on the potty consistently for almost a month. But here we are almost a year later and she only goes when she wants to, which is when we are out at a store, restaurant or someone's house. Yes, I know ~ it's strange! So, I know she can go, but she goes at home only about 4-5 times a week. I just got done reading the book "The Girlfriend's Guide to Toddlers" and the section on potty-training really helped me relax. Not only did it make me LMAO, but it helped me to see that I am not alone and that it seriously is not something to stress about. So, when he is ready to go, he will go, but until then try not to stress. I know ~ easier said than done, but I have a whole new perspective on it after reading that book. Good luck!!

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J.C.

answers from Chicago on

I have 2 boys, ages 8 y.o. and 5 y.o. The 5 y.o. still wears pull-ups at night but occasionally he does do underwear at night. Although he seems smarter at his age than my oldest was, my little guy is taking longer with the potty-training at night. The answer? There is no answer or predictability in parenting. They are ready when they are ready. The real answer is unconditional love above all else. Also had a very revealing conversation with my sister-in-law's father at Thanksgiving dinner. He confessed he wet the bed at night until age 13!!! He said he was so embarrassed by it. How sad but how wonderful he felt comfortable enough to reveal this fact about himself to us. He is about 52 y.o. now and a successful accountant so that experience did not harm him in anyway in his life. Just some info to keep in mind, no situation is exactly like the next.

1 mom found this helpful
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J.V.

answers from Kokomo on

I don't know that I have the answer to your problem. But I can at least offer up sympathy and understanding. My 2 1/2 year old is REALLY stubborn too. He knows exactly what to do, and has actually gone in the potty on a few occasions. He just.... well he is gonna do it when he's good and ready. I too have thought I would have to buy stock in pampers to feed the diaper bill through college.

I have a thought. You have the benefit of working in his daycare center. Any chance he could watch another "big boy" going to the bathroom. I have thought about having Sam try this. He is really interested when Daddy goes, but I think maybe seeing someone his age or close to being a "big boy" just might shove him over the bump. Good luck and know that your are not alone in your potty training endeavor.

Jaime

About me:

SAHM of 2 1/2 year old and 3 month old sons (my youngest is Jackson too :)

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H.

answers from Chicago on

My daughter seemed to be doing great with no accidents for a month (she wears diapers at night), and then seemed to become completely untrained. I was about to give up. We checked out the DVD "Go Potty, Go!" from the library, and she loved it. My son (4) also thought it was hilarious. They are still singing the songs and talking about Page and Parker. My daughter still has accidents (she's 2), but is doing much better. I think she's decided she likes being able to use the potty again.

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