Potty Training Problems - Saint Charles,MO

Updated on March 09, 2010
L.S. asks from O Fallon, MO
19 answers

I am having major problems potty training my son, he is 3 (4 in March). I have tried everything I know how to; he has a big brother and I thought maybe if he saw him doing it he would be more interested. He wears big boy underwear sometimes and he just pees or poops in them and doesn't mind the wet, gross feeling. I have tried rewarding him, putting the potty chair in the living room, the potty chair even plays music...nothing is working. Please help!!!!

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So What Happened?

Wow thanks to everyone for all of the great advice. This was my first time posting a request on this site and I was shocked by all the responses. We did have a break-thru day today. My son actually went the whole day without a diaper..we went to the store, lunch, the store, the store, and the store...lol and not one accident. Thanks all!

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A.S.

answers from St. Louis on

I have 5 boys and they all potty trained really easy is all i did was start them off in training pants. then i bought a couple packs of their favorite chacter underwear and i told them when they stop going in their pants they can have them and it worked really good.

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D.B.

answers from Wichita on

I had the same problem you do...i tried everything. Finally I let him run around butt naked..set a timer and every 30 min he had to sit on the potty and try..no believe me I had a whole bottle of carpet cleaner on hand but it was the only way he would go..OOOO be careful though my son liked to go and hide under the table and do his duty!! GOOD LUCK!

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C.F.

answers from St. Louis on

L., He will do it when he is ready. In my case my oldest child wouldn't have anything to do with it even though his younger brother was potty trained at 3. He was almost 5 before he got it. So just have patience. And just encouraging him. That's all you can do. I would just keep him in pull up til then.

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J.

answers from St. Louis on

Boy can I identify! I am currently trying to potty train boy/girl twins about the same age as yours. My boy is actually doing pretty good, with a few BM accidents, but my girl!!!! For a long time I stopped with the diapers or pull ups except at night time thinking that the discomfort would "encourage" them. No go. She just couldn't give a fig if she has dirty/wet pants. I've ended up putting her back in pull ups, even though she considers them to be just like a diaper, and uses them accordingly. The kicker is that she knows when she needs to go, she WILL go on the potty, both kinds, but unless she's actually there when she needs to go forget it! I just cut my hair off so I wouldn't rip it from the roots! Rewards and timers have only been marginally successful. While she's happy to have the treat, it's still not worth it to care. Good luck.....and let me know what finally works.

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S.L.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Hello L.,
I have a 3 1/2 year old son who is just beginning to potty train. His dad and I have been working on this since he turned 2. I have heard that boys are harder to potty train than girls and I have to agree. I've also been told that when they are ready they'll just go. My son woke up on Sunday (Oct. 29) and just decided he was done wearing diapers and I haven't had any problems since (except at night). So my advice is to just keep doing what you're doing, when he's ready you'll know. If you need additional advice see your pediatrition. You're doing everything right, he's just not ready yet.
Keep it up.
S.

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M.H.

answers from Oklahoma City on

We made a ninja turtle out of poster board and got stickers for him to put on the turtle everytime he pees or poops. 1 sticker for pee 2 for poop. The poster is now covered and he has been peeing and pooping for about 3 months with accidents only during naptime. He is also 3.

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J.W.

answers from Columbia on

I'm in the same club as many of you. My son is in the midst of potty training at almost three and a half. He doesn't tell us if he needs to go. He still hasn't pooped in the potty, but if you take his pull up off he will run for the toilet now to pee. The only thing that I can suggest that everyone else hasn't is that we show him potty videos along with the sticker bribe. We got the Elmo potty dvd and one called Potty Power which seems to motivate him. He likes to watch the video's over and over and now sings the songs on potty power. I've heard it so much that I've started hearing the songs in my head while I'm at work now lol. If he is resisting, just quit mentioning it for a week or two and try again. Everyone else had the same suggestions that I had. I hope it helps.
Jen W.

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S.K.

answers from Kansas City on

My son will be 3 in March and I have started working on getting him to go like a "big boy". There are no males around so I was kind of worried how he was going to do. He has been afraid of the toilet so now we have a little potty just his size. Not everyone can do this but sometimes I just let him run around without pants or a diaper on. I tell him if he goes in the big boy potty he will get a piece of candy. Of course I don't give it to him everytime, I just get super excited and praise him alot at other times. He would never go poo in the potty and has had a couple of accidents. But just this week he ran to the potty so he could poo. Or u could try pouring warm water on him while he sits on the potty. Just keep with it and good luck.

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S.S.

answers from Columbia on

with my son I found getting him big boy underwear with something he really likes on them {in my sons case it was tools} and telling him he couldn't get the tools wet or the would rust and not be any good. With my niece {dora panties} and tell her dora doesn't like a wet dress so you can't pee in them or her dress will get wet.These things worked for us so if he really likes something see if you can find underwear that have whatever it is on them and link something to it about getting wet or dirty

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A.N.

answers from Kansas City on

You might try floating cherrios in the water and having him aim at them like a game. One of my friends did that and it worked for her. After he got the peeing down the pooping came pretty quickly.

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M.L.

answers from Rockford on

Have u tried setting him on the potty for a few minutes? My lil boy is 2 and I bought one of those soft squishy potty seats u can put on the actual toilet and he goes pee right in the toilet. He doesn't seem to like the lil potty seats.

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B.E.

answers from Tulsa on

HI L., My grandson 4, & my granddaughter 3, both are still having having problems with the potty training. The Dr. said,some kids take longer than others. Have you tried pull-ups? They keep the laundry down, anyway, maybe if you just wait awhile he will pick it up on his own. I know when we try to get the kids to do something, if they are interested, great. But, if not then we usually just wait till later to approach them. It seems the more you try to get them to do something, the more they resist.Try to relax about it for awhile anyway.

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S.A.

answers from Tulsa on

I had the same exact problem. I tried buying my son all of the cool underwear let him pick it out, he didn't care, he still wouldn't potty train. So then I tried taking him to the bathroom every 15 min. Still didn't work. I swear I tried every bit of advice I was given, I even went so far as to try to let him pee outside so he would think it was fun. And guess what? It didn't work. So you know what I did? I put him in big boy underwear and everytime he peed or pooped, I'd just change him and put him right back in real underwear. It took about a week and a half, and finally he took the hint! Some kids are stubborn and they don't care about getting fancy superhero pants. I know mine was. Good luck and let us all know how things are progressing.

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S.M.

answers from Springfield on

I am having the same problem with my 3 year old little girl. She will be 4 next August. There for a while she would sit on the potty, but would never go. Now I can't even get her sit on the potty. I am interested to see what everyone has to say.

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B.B.

answers from St. Louis on

Just get a regular routine with him. Just make it a matter of fact this is the rules of our family. Potty 1st thing in the morning, immediately following lunch, after nap if he is still napping or otherwise 2-3 hours after lunch time potty, again after dinner and before bed. Congratulate him each time he does it and don't get on to him for accidents or compare to his brother. We follow this routine as well as anytime we leave the house the kids are required to potty. Both my boys (ages 5 and 3) are fully trained and naturally stick to the routine I have given them. They go on their own entirely. My daughter who will be 2 in December just follows my routine but sometimes at lunch will tell me she needs to potty. She had an interest and started using the potty periodically a year ago. I finally decided to put her on my mopre strict routine last week and so far she makes all her bowel movements in the toilet. That is always how my kids have trained first...bm's to start and urine shortly thereafter. Good luck and don't get too frustrated. It can take a while but in hindsight it won't be as long as it seemed at the time you were going thru it.

B. :)

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A.B.

answers from Milwaukee on

i have been haveing the same issues with my 3 year old also. My 3 year old loves to play in his pooh the only time he does this is when i put him down for a nap. I have tried also the underwear and that doesnt seem to help at all i even put him on the potty in the liveing room and i turned cartoons on and gave him privicy and he seemed to go then so i would try putting him on the potty and letting him sit there for a bit alone i would leave the room for a lil bit and see what happens

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A.P.

answers from Kansas City on

Lindsay,
You just described what used to be my son about 3 weeks ago. He is about to turn 4 Nov. 16th. A few differences are that mine is an only child, (about to be a big brother though, Due date is Nov. 16th) Everyone is warning me about him regressing when the baby gets here, but I have a plan for that, lol. We had tried everything like you discribed. The only thing that had a little effect on him was the reward, but we were not being consistant enough & were pushing too hard. So we stopped for quite awhile. Then after lotts of brain storming we decited to put a few ideas together. I don't know about yours but mine always want's to help, so whenever he went in the potty he got to have a gummy worm & daddy (Or me if daddy wasn't home) got to get one too. (Gummy worms were his absolute favorite) And we ONLY got them when he went. When daddy got home from work He would rush over to him and say, "Daddy really want's a gummy worm, Do you want a gummy worm?" Answer always being yes, daddy said " Will you try and go pee in the potty so we can both have a gummy worm, PLEASE?" then he would go. It even got to where he would ask us if we wanted gummy worms & then go. Yes, there were times that he would pinch it off & then go again 2-5 min later so he could get more, but thats ok. When he does that it teaches bladder control, so we rewarded him for the dribbles within reason, lol. (He knew what he was doing so wasn't too crushed about not getting 5 gummies in ten min. (after all, he did just get 5, lol) We kept the worms in plain sight but out of reach. So he would be reminded even more. This worked for pee. Now after he mastered that, we were still having trouble with number 2. But He started to request bubble gum & I kept telling him no. So one day when he asked I told him that only big boys who POOP in the potty can have buble gum & that bubble gum was a big responsibillity & that when he went poop in the potty that that's when he could have it. It didn't work right away but as he kept seeing other people with it he really started to want it. My husband and I went ahead and picked up a roll of bubble tape & put it with the gummie worms so he could see it, then sure enough the first time he went poop in the potty he got his first piece..... He then went again the next day...another piece. He had some accidents, but we never scolded him. It did break my heart when he asked for one after an accident & I told him " Accidents happen & it's ok but it didn't make it to the potty so no bubble gum yet. Let's try again next time ok?" He goes in that sad little voice the do" ok, snifle, snifle" But after maybey 4 accidents we are alittle over 4 weeks accident free" We did let him pick out his own underware & one time when we were at walmart in the beginning of the successful training we looked at toys. And since he is sooo in to playdough we showed him the activity center & told him that when he goes in the potty all the time we will come back here & get this for him since he will be such a big boy them... big boy toy for a big boy,lol. Sure enough he is loving that toy. So I hope my story has given you some Ideas & helps. Just remember that If you choose the reward system that it must be consistant or it won't work, also it has to be something they really really want & can only have when they go. Then it being in plain sight. & keeping the reward fresh in their minds (also should be something that big brother doesn't get or he gets two every time he goes & gets to pick who he gives the other one to) OH, & don't over push, they love to rebel as I'm sure you are aware of by now, lol!!!! It will happen sweetie, I promise.
A.

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S.M.

answers from St. Louis on

I think he'll do it in his own time. Something I know that has worked with my son is that...I bought big boy underwear with action heros on them. Of course he loves those and wants to wear only those kind. However, I also bought the plain white ones that he doesn't want to wear. So, I made him a deal.....he could wear the super heros as long as he didn't have an accident, but...if he did...he had to wear the white ones. He had like 2 or 3 accidents and has been accident free since then. Hopefully that will help, I resorted to that option unintentionally when I realized how much he liked the "cool ones". Find something that your child loves or likes to do that is attainable for you to reward them with and try to incorporate that. Otherwise, I would use pull ups and just keep tryin.

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D.T.

answers from Tulsa on

The only thing I can say is stick with it. set a timer and take him, wait with him until he goes in the potty then reward him. My older boys were trained right around 3. Eventually he will see it as a power struggle and he likes to have this power over you. Having a diaper wearing baby in the house just reinforces how much time he misses with mommy. Changing his pants at least gets your attention for a little while. Can you just do that without speaking to him. Don't make him help and don't look him in the eye.

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