Potty Training My Boy - Bakersfield,CA

It is going to be ok. Yes, it is a little messy because you have to clean it up, but don't forget your child taught himself to walk and talk, and he'll get this potty training thing down. The one suggestion I have is take him to the toilet about 1/2 hour after he eats a meal or if he has a large amount of juice. Boys have a tendency to have more accidents because they would rather play than not, and don't forget when we exercise it kind of sets everything in motion. I guess you can call him in after 10 or 15 minutes and have him try to go.

Either way, it will get better because nobody grows up to 10 still pooping in their pants.

Good luck!

You're not doing anything wrong! My son went to a preschool that started at age two and did not require kids to be potty trained, and I can tell you that most of the boys and the girls (though especially the boys!) took longer with #2 (even as 3 year-olds). Sometimes kids feel like they are losing a limb into the toilet when they pooped. What worked for us was having our son help us roll the poop out of his night time diaper, into the toilet, and then flush himself. We didn't do this in a punishing way, just as his doing his part. He could see that nothing bad happened when the poop went into the toilet, and we were reinforcing that that is where it belonged. We also had him come into the bathroom with us when we went #2, and had him see our poop in the toilet. We also had special stickers (balloon-shaped and much bigger than the others) for #2. Finally, if your son is on the toilet and not a potty, be sure he has a foot stool to put his feet on because trying to poop with your legs dangling isn's easy or comfortable. My almost six year-old still puts his feet on a foot stool whenever he goes #2. I also have to admit that we used a toy he really wanted as a bribe for when he made it for a significant amount of time with no accidents. Some kids may not have the attention span for that, so it depends on your kid what timeframe you use. We wanted it to be long enough that he would develop the habit of going in the toilet; we chose a month, but a week would likely suffice. As another mom said to me at the time, you'll make it through this and then the next major hassle isn't until he is ready for his driver's license!

It took us 6+ months to potty train our daughter. You are doing a lot of great things. Hang in there...it is going to take a while for this to happen.

Hi C., Feel your frustration 100%. I have a 3yr old son who was almost done potty training at 2.5 till his little brother arrived (5 weeks early) I was hoping to have him out of of pulls ups by the time baby arrived. Then he stopped all together. New baby new adjustment all of it and a new school to top it off. So i gave up. I had a potty for him in all our bathrooms at 18 months. I was so busy with the new baby and adjusting from 1-2 kids alone most of the time as my husband is on a plane ever week. (almost missed the birth of #2) So what I did was I stopped. I let him decide. There were times he would pee on the floor, take his pull up off and poop on the floor. OUT OF MY MIND. He was so done with sticker rewards too so that was a lost cause. We finally got him interested in choc chips. He likes the white ones. So for pee he gets 1 for poop he gets 2 and he if goes on his own he gets 3. That got him super interested. I also bring them to the store. He is in big boy undewear that we went out and got together. Plus he thinks its cool because he got some just like daddy's. We make a BIG deal about it. He is still in pull ups at night. We have his underware on his dresser to let him decide when he wanted to put it on. Plus I tell him that the baby went potty in his diaper so no chocolates for him. He thinks that is funny and makes him feel important. Or when he goes in his pants and doens't care, I say, are you the baby too? the baby doesn't get chocolates. he gets upset when he hears that. He doesn't like that too much. Just don't force them. They will make it a game and you will lose the battle if you push too much. Limit the liquids too at night. Just talk to him a lot about going potty. How daddy goes potty. There are times I go on the potty with him and i say, ok well looks like mommy gets chocolates none for Ryan. then he think on he is being left out. Make it exciting. Tonight I let him pee standing up in teh public restroom as he doesn't do that at home. I felt tha the needs to get the potty things masted before you move to standing up and peeing. Now he thinks that is VERY COOL. Hang in there.

SAHM/zombie, 40yrs old 2 amazing sons that are busy as ever. 3yr old who is very bright and too smart for his own good and a 8 month old has been working on tryingto walk since 6 months. Any day now. YIKES!!!!The joys of boys.

As a child care provider, I too noticed that boys had a major problem with bms. I always say, "It is time to try and go potty" because if I ask if they need to the answer is always no as they don't want to stop what they are doing.
I attened at San Francisco University a workshop on Toilet Training. They said when boys stand up and go pee they do not learn how to go poop. They need to sit down to go pee and give their body a chance to feel the muscles if they need to go poop. This was at a Infant Toddler Child Care Conference and many in the group were having the same problem with boys. We want to be positive and set them up for success. After they are doing well with bms, they can stand up to go pee. The Dads get such a kick out of their big boys but they must learn to go bms. When they hold their bms they get hard and then you have another problem.
They are afraid to push because of the pain. It can also be a problem if someting else is going on in the family like a new baby, moving, etc. I cared for a four year old boy whose Mom was fighting breast cancer and he lost his toilet skillsl. I give lots of praise and cheers but no stickers or treats. Going to the bathroom is their job and I will encourage, help, and support the family in any way.
F.

Hi C.,

It is so normal for the #2's to be the last to go, boy or girl. You are doing everything perfectly. I remember my daughter was pretty much potty trained with #1, and she'd go to the bathroom before we left the house. We'd stop at a store and sure enough I'd start smelling something. Had to throw away a couple of pairs of underwear. I wouldn't ask her if she had to go to the bathroom because 9 times out of 10 the answer was "no". I would just tell her come on let's go try to potty. Don't give up, it will just take time, a little frustration, and maybe some undies being tossed, but it will happen on his time. I guess all I can add is maybe don't ask him, make him "try" every 15 minutes or 1/2hr or so, and only use pull-ups for sleep, not during the day. The pull-ups don't fool these kids, they know they are still diapers. They need to feel the wet (and more)during the day. Good luck,keep at it, and you are doing great!!

C.,

Sounds like you're doing everything right: encourging him and rewarding him with a sticker chart (we gave 1 sticker for #1 and 2 stickers for #2, then he could later buy a toy of his choice, say $1 per sticker). I would say if he hasn't gotten it soon to back off and wait 6 more months. I started my son's potty training at age 3 1/2 and it went super fast. In five days he got it. Of course, especiall for #2, he made some mistakes. Once playing outside, and we walked him upstairs to the bath tub and made him responsible for removing his pants and underwear. Needless to say he didn't like it. It also happened once while playing at the care center at IKEA. He had to waddle himself to the bathroom and it was quite unconfortable. After that he realized he had better start thinking about this, as it has negative consequences, and he never had an accident again. If you're not in a hurry can you wait until summer vacation, and you'll see, it will be smooth as good clockwork. Yes, boys are typically slower than girls, so we just have to live with it.

Hi C.,
Just keep up with it!!!! It will get better. Start giving him candy or something like that so he will want to go #2 in the potty. I just finished potty training my daughter who is 2 and for the first 2 weeks she wouldn't #2 in the potty either. She id once then no again, I started to tell her the #2 needed to go home so tell it bye bye and flush it down the toilet. we also told her we would give her a lollypop if she #2 in the potty. She is now going in the potty and only had one #2 accident at the park. jToday I took her out to resturant and shopping and she had a gym class. She went twice while we were out and we made it to the potty. She was so happy and she got her lollypop.

So C. hope this helps,
Keep up with the training he will get it. I don't follow the hourly reminder I reminder all the time during the day. And when I leave with her we try to go potty before we get in the car and I ask when we get to were ever we are going.

Good luck, Stay positive. Have his grandparents or friends call him to say how happy they are and proud he is a big boy. That helped with my son, he was 2 when he was trainig. Now he is 4.

Pooping in the potty is always hard. I potty train a little different but all children need different training so this is what I did: I took off their pants and underware and planned to stay at home for a couple of days. Children really learn what it feels like when they have to go potty when a few drops hit their legs instead of letting it sit in their underware. They are already used to feeling damp down their from their diapers. We have a talk about how peepeeing on mommies floor is yucky and we need to go potty in the big boy potty. I put a potty chair in the kitchen to help remind them to go pee in the potty and not on the floor. I give LOTS of fluids and remind them frequently to go potty in their big boy potties. When sucessful we would do the potty dance. I don't give sweets as treats cause my boys would go just a little or just 'try' to get a sweet. I wanted long term sucess not cavities. We would call daddy and grandmas (whomever was home) to get praise from them and yes, this sound gross, but I even took a picture. My boys LOVED to show daddy that they went potty!! We dump it in the toilet and wash our hands and try again later. I keep them naked for quite awhile while at home and put them in a diaper when going out. I start off putting them in diapers during nap time and then I just ask them to go potty before nap and my 2 year old can somehow hold it.

Now for pooping, I would tell my boys that pooping on the floor is REALLY YUCKY and it makes lots more work for mommy to clean up so if you don't want to go in the potty, thats fine just ask mommy for a diaper. It worked great with my boys. We first mastered going pee in the potty in about 2 days and then a couple weeks of one poopie diaper a day wasn't bad at all!! After they became comfortable with peeing I started asking them if they wanted to try to go poop in it. One day they said yes and we never had another poopie diaper again. If you push pooping too much they can become constipated so it is best not to make a big deal about it. Believe me it will happen, he is just not quite ready for it today. Sleeping at night is the hardest. My two year old still wears a diaper but my oldest stopped wearing diapers at night just before he turned 4.
Good luck but it sounds like you are doing GREAT!!

If he's doing a quick standing pee and back to playing he won't dedicate sitting time to push out a poop. If he pees sitting down eventually he'll surprise himself and poop in the toilet. He shouldn't be standing to pee until he is reliable with #2 in the toilet. He's using the floor for leverage if he's doing it standing up or sitting on a tiny potty. Try one of those rings that sits on the BigBoyToilet so he's comfortable sitting and he'll learn to use his muscles in that position. Books will help him relax while he's attending to his body's needs. Stickers are fine for reinforcing performance of developed skills but it doesn't sound like he's developed the sitting poop skill quite yet. Keeping BigBoyUnderpants dry certainly merits a high-five after peeing in the toilet... maybe reserve rewards for pooping or full-day dry underpants.

Hi C.- if he doesn't mind pooping in his diaper, he may not be ready to go on the potty. This can be really frustrating and turn into a huge power struggle, so just let it go.

I waited until almost 3.5 with my youngest boy and until all the signs were there. Peeing was pretty quick (after a bunch of only would go outside, then outside in the potty seat..) but pooping another story entirely. I had him in underpants and he would NOT poop on the potty but really wanted to but something was upsetting him about it. After an accident where he was really sad I decided to just forget about it and try again in a month or so. (Turns out he was afraid to sit on the pot- he actually thought he could get flushed down with the H2O.)

Well, when I went to put him in a diaper next day after the poopy pants incident he wasn't having it. Did NOT want to go back in a diaper. So I decided, well, you are on my program now. :)

We then did a 5 poop sticker page with Thomas train where if he did 5 in the pot he could pick out a train. I figured by 5 times it would be a habit and sure enough... worked great. But I waited for him to want to and worked with him on this... didn't rush anything.

So hang in there. Give him space. Ask if he looks like he needs to poop and if he doesn't want to go on the pot, well, maybe he will next time. Offer a diaper for him to poop in or have him back in diapers until he's ready to do both on the potty. And if he wants to stay in underpants, motivate with a fave toy or book or something for 'X' times on the pot. He'll get it- they all eventually do.

I had EXACTLY the same issue with my son. Although incredibly frustrating, in our situation my son decided when he was ready to do number 2 in the potty. We tried rewards, discipline, catching him mid-poop and running to the potty, EVERYTHING. I was so fed-up, because I also had a 15mo old baby to care for. It took a solid month of potty training and doing ABolutely everything under the sun before it finally clicked. It was his first day of preschool which I was so apprehensive because I knew he was going to do #2 in his pants. Right before we were leaving, we asked if he needed to go poop. He said yes, and he did! It had been smooth sailing since then. For my son, I think he was really scared of dropping "it" into the potty, but once he did it, he was cured. I say give it time, your doing a great job already. If he's like my son, he will turn the corner anytime!

I waited until my son was 3.5 to potty train, because I didn't think he or I were really ready (as much as I hated spending the $ on diapers). Peeing was not a huge issue. We had accidents, but poop, as with many others, was an issue. It took about 8 weeks, but I just got tired of cleaning his underware. He started to have some signs of when he was about to go (wanted his blanket or getting in bed under the covers). I took him to the potty, kicking and screaming, but he hadn't gone in a few days, and he cried and wanted out. It was like I was slowly torturing him. That lasted two or three days. We would say, see, it wasn't that bad. Your OK. At the end of the third day, he got out of bed (we'd put him down for the night) and said he had to go poop (I thought, yeah, right), but indeed he went (OMG!!!). And that was that. I did wait a couple of months before doing that and he was now over 3.5. I purposely didn't start potty traning him younger b/c many many moms had said, yeah, we've been traning him since he was 2.5, but he still is having accidents.