Potty Training Issues...

Updated on June 05, 2007
S.B. asks from Boise, ID
11 answers

My youngest son is 3 years old, and started potty training at about 18 months, he would tell me had to use to potty. Then we regressed which I expected, about 2 he started to show more interest, and went pretty good for a couple of months. Now he is three, in pull ups, he can tell me when he has to poop, and normally tries to do it in the potty or will tell me right after he did it that he is dirty. But he refuses to tell me when he has to potty, right before shower he will go. Sometimes at the store he will tell me also. But if I put him in big boy underwear he will pee and not care.
I know that with my families lifestyle that plays a part in it, my husband is gone for work alot and when he comes home for 30 days or so, once he leaves we usually regress. Though right now we are at a stand still.
I have 2 other boys who I have potty trained and thought I had a idea on what I was doing but I have met my match with this one and need help. Any ideas?

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So What Happened?

I have taken a little bit from everyone minus using a potty chair, I don't believe in them. And after a week or so he looked at me and said NO MORE MOMMY....LOL and refuses to go. I talked with my husband and since we both know he has to sooner or later, will let the issue rest a little longer.
I honestly thought since I had potty trained 2 other boys this would be a breeze and it probablly would have been if I didn't have a child as stubborn as me...LOL

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S.P.

answers from Great Falls on

I think it's becoming a power struggle between you two. You may want to back off a little while. My oldest did the same thing and it became this huge fight. I sit him down and he'd sit okay but not go. As soon as I said he could get up, he'd go on the floor.

He may just need more coaching and reminders from you to go. He's still young, try not to worry. Good luck!!!

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M.G.

answers from Denver on

My 3rd was my hardest so far. I actually resorted to Thomas trains. She was very expensive to train! I would say no more treats no more goodies unless he earns them with his good potty habits. The old reward chart perhaps, 1 day no accidents ice cream, then two days you get x, then 3 days ... you get the idea. I also made her potty before we went outside to play, before she watched tv, I just said it in a matter of fact sort of way potty time before we x. The other trick I used one time was I looked at the calendar and I said oh Daddy, today is the day, he followed with me and we talked like it happened in every house, today we can't use pull ups anymore, its the day, and we acted sort of like it was some holiday on the calendar, not sure if you get where I am going with this but basically we tricked her (along with rewards). Good luck and remember he wont go to college in pull-ups :)

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N.M.

answers from Boise on

I am a stay at home mom of a 2 year old boy. We started working with him on the potty when he was 18 months. He was not very interested at first but after a few months he was all about it. We would give him a little piece of candy (skittle, m&m, jelly bean etc.) everytime he went and called them "potty treats". Well around 21 months he wanted nothing to do with it again so I didn't push the issue. Now at 24 months I am trying again. I read an article in Parenting magazine that said to let them run around naked for a week and by the end of the week they should be on their way. Well he has only had one accident on the floor in a week. He tells me EVERY SINGLE TIME he has to go. Only our problem seems like yours. We put "undies" on him and he pees in a matter of minutes. So I am at a loss on what to do as well. He can't run around naked forever! Although I have noticed that when we go to the store or take a nap with a diaper on 9 out of 10 times we wake up or come home dry! So for now, since I am able to be home with him and let him run around naked I will keep doing it. I have read though that they may regress because of stress (your husband having to leave maybe) Best of luck to you! Hope some of my ideas can help.

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K.G.

answers from Orlando on

I wouldn't be too concerned. Boys are so much harder to potty train then girls. My son was 4 1/2 before he was fully trained. I resorted to potty parties and buying him a rescue hero for every week he didn't have any accidents. He still continued to wet the bed until he was 6. The best thing that worked for him was wearing pull ups but telling him they were big boy underwear. That way he would really try hard to go on the potty but it wasn't a big deal if he had an accident. Good luck!!! My daughter is 20 months and I haven't started with her yet.

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S.E.

answers from Des Moines on

I have never tried to train a boy, but I have an 11 year old and twin 4 year old daughters.

The 11 year old, potty trained right around age 2, barely any issues. The twins were another story. I started trying before they were two. I finally quit pushing when they were around 2 1/2 or so, and then right around the time they turned three I started at it again.

The thing that worked for me, was that I took time off work and stayed home with the girls for 5 days straight. We didn't leave the house. In that time, I put them in panties and did not use diapers or pull-ups. I made them sit on the potty every hour. They wet and messed themselves over and over the first day or two. There was a lot of laundry and a lot of carpet cleaner being used, but by the third day they were doing GREAT. By the 5th day they pretty much were trained. They did still sleep in pull-ups for another 6 months, but I just made sure they didn't drink anything significant after about 6:00 p.m. (a little bit of water before bed) and they really didn't have a lot of trouble with bed wetting either.

I also heard of putting a bowl of cheerios on the back of the toilet and having the boys throw a few in the toilet and having the boys play "sink the cheerios." A friend said she couldn't get her son OUT of the bathroom after that.

Involving Dad would be good too. I would imagine boys would relate more if Dad was showing him how and encouraging him. Also, if your older boys would get involved, I'm sure that they would be a huge help too. My older daughter was great at getting the twins excited about going on the potty.

Stay strong. I think the previous poster was right, you should probably take a break at this point and try again later. Maybe you could build up to the day, somehow, and say "5 more days and you're going to stop wearing diapers. 4 more days...", etc. Try to get him excited.

I feel lke it's harder to concentrate on training your kids once you have more than one! There's so much more going on! Try to stay patient. If he's healthy and doesn't have any medical issues, then I'm sure he will get there in his own sweet time!

Good luck!

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L.B.

answers from Sioux Falls on

I know its a tough thing to have a husband away alot and trying to stablize the others. My husband is gone from sun up to sun down, so my kids are sleeping when he leaves and sleeping when he gets home. Of course my hubby is a workaholic, but its about the same. It took some time and A LOT of patiences on my side to keep things going smoothly, though somedays I wonder IF I am doing a good enough job. My 2 yr old, who will be 3 in August, doesnt have a real desire in potty training, but has a spark of interest. When my hubby started working these weird hours, my son took a real dip in behavior and attitudes too. I stayed consistant with him. He would act up in school, he was wetting himself all of a sudden (he was 4 and was accident free for over a year), and other things too. It didnt help that we were expecting child #2 at the time. It took sometime, but life has smoothed out for me. Get your hubby in on this too. Is it possible to call him at anytime, or only at certain times? Sometimes letting your son call him for no real reason could help, or better yet, if its possible to call him anytime, have your son call him when he went on the potty to tell daddy about it, kind of like a special reward. Good Luck!!

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T.T.

answers from Denver on

What worked for my son was just putting him in underwear. He peed and pooped his pants for a week, and then one day just stared using the toilet all the time. Pull-ups are just too easy I think. You'll be doing laundry everyday and it will be frustrating, but I think the only way to go is to put him in underwear and stick to your guns. Don't get mad at him when he wets his pants, but show him your disappointed that he did because you know he can use the toilet. Also offer a reward system. Every time my son used the toilet and kept his pants dry he got a penny in a jar, and when the jar was full he got to go pick out a new basketball (his favorite toy). Then after two weeks of staying dry all the time, we went to Chuck E. Cheese. He still has accidents from time to time, but it worked like a charm for me.

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J.O.

answers from Boise on

I have 7 kids, 15, two 14 year olds, 13,5,3,and 8 months. All have been pottey trained before the age of 2(this is an area I'm good at just don't ask me to take their bottles away :) ) at about a year and a half I put the potty chair in the bathroom and when we are in there they sit on it and play so it is comfortable to them, within the next month when either my husband or myself are using the potty we would remove there diaper to "join" us, eventually you'll notice them usung it, but here is the key to this just like you I let them run naked, I move the potty to what ever room we are using, kitchen, beedroom ect, and there is going to be accidents after it happens take them to the potty, sit them down and explain this is were the pee-pee goes.I find it takes about three days and you really do need to plan it so you are home for most of those three days, stay away from pull up they are the kiss of death the only good theyu do is make sure that the parents don't have accidents to clean up, once they are doing it put underware on and understand there is going to still be accidents because you've just added a barrier ( keep moving the potty around with you) I have found with in a couple of days they have accomplished this new goal, know to quit moving the potty around and thats acctually the easy part just start moving it closer and closer to the bathroom, one more tid bit I live out in the country and trips into town can be long so I carry a potty with me, we pull over and they go just carry bags. I never resort to Pull -ups they are just glorified diapers I hope this helps, The actuall potty training can take a couple of weeks but start the introdution to the potty early and it goes easy......Lot of luck.

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T.S.

answers from Omaha on

A schedule has worked the best with my son. It takes a great deal of work, but for a few weeks I had to put him on the potty every hour. I also took him in the potty every time someone went so he would get the idea that this is what he is suppost to do.

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D.W.

answers from Omaha on

S.
My son is 2.5 we started about 18 months he did good for a while and stopped I forgot about and the last month and half have been trying to work with mim. He knows when he wnts his diaper changed what the pody is etc. But still has no interest. I'm starting to hear alot of grief from people because he's not trained. I don't think it's good to get in a fight about it. I agree lifestyle has alot to do with it. My husband has a project that requires him to be a way from home alot I think that plays a big part too. Frankly I'm at a loss like you as to what to do. I'm happily married to a wonderful man. I'm 42 and have a GREAT Son, stay at home mom and we in Omaha

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C.S.

answers from Omaha on

To potty train my two boys ( ages 6 & 2) i started by giving them a skittle (or what ever small candy) every time they would sit on the potty. Try asking him to sit every hour or so until he goes. Then after they would consistantly sit when i asked them too, i would only give them a treat when they went. Also keep a potty chair somewhere convient for him so he can go on his own. I keep mine in my kitchen.

It took three months to train my 2 year old but he was in big boy pants a month before his second birthday. He doesn't have but one or two accidents a week and he does still get a skittle everytime he goes potty.

I hope this helps.

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