Potty Training - Fresno,CA

I started PT my son at 3.5 and he too refused to poop in the potty. It was frusterating (he did it once or twice in the beginning and then refused). This went on for 5, maybe six weeks (I was giving him time) and many soiled underpants! By the sixth week, I looked for cues of he was about to go poop and I sat him down on the potty, kicking and screaming. I held him and held him down and told him it was not bad. He pooped while he cried and smiled at the same time and then said, "See mom, it wasn't bad." It took 2 times of me doing this. By the third time, he said, "Mom, I have to go poop" and he sat on the potty and went. No more poop accidents. It's now been about 8 months.

Doctors say not to worry that anything is wrong until age 4 years. Do now stress about it. There are plenty of child care facilities that toilet train. It is the child's responsibility when they are ready, willing and able. Willing is a big thing. It is easy when they are ready, willing and able. We help them and give alot of praise. I don't give rewards but lots of hugs and good job praise.
When they are ready, willing, and able it is so easy. Pleae don't worry and don't have him worry. He will go in the toilet when he wants to. This is where they are in control.
F.

This is a frustrating issue, my son also refused. This seems to be very common at this age and from my experience boys are the hardest to get to go #2 on the potty. My daughter was a breeze she liked to look in and see her big accomplishment! Are you using a child's potty or a regular one? Sometimes thier own potty will help. I would let my son go to his room in his pull ups and do his business (he had a favorite place by his desk that he would stand) Then I decided to just let him use the small potty right there so that he would feel comfortable just going in his potty. It did help but mostly it just took some time. When we tried to force the issue it would only cause him to hold his bowel movement in and get constipated. We even had to go to the doctor because he started to get cramps from holding it in. This is also a very common problem with trying to get them to potty train on our schedule instead of thier own. It will work out. Maybe you could try to get him to comfortably poop each night on the little potty wherever he would like and then he would have a routine so that that he wouldn't need to go #2 until after he gets home from daycare. Good luck and hope this offers some help...you have my support for sure!

There is a definate power struggle going on in your house with you & your 3 yr old. #1) Purchase a potty chair that has the flushing sound and you can record your voice giving him positive re-inforcement; #2)make sure your daycare provider is on-board with you so when you get him home you can remove the diaper/pullups and take him to potty every hour. #3)be mindful of the time he last ate or drank something so that you can watch out for "gotta pee/#2 look on his face" (#2 he will disappear and hide to do it, know the hiding space) #3)be ready to make him wear real underpants and if he wets or #2 on himself, let him wear it for a little while so that he gets uncomfortable and tell him how bad it smells and don't allow him to sit on your furniture, carpet, etc. Make him stand up and feel the full effects of what he did. Eventually, he will get the physical message and things will start to turn around. You may have to be alittle mean to him towards the end when he gets it but is still trying to revert back but it will all be worth it when the light bulb goes on completely.
At this point (age 3) he should be potty trained if you plan on getting him into any pre-school. This is the technique I used on my now 2.2 year old son. It took approximately 1 month but well worth it. He is now announcing it to the world, flush the toilet, wants to wash his hands after (i.e. play in the water) and now he is talking in his sleep about going to peepee pot! I love this little boy! Good luck with you little man!

Our daughter was like that. Actually, she started using the potty only to go #2, but then would only go #1 in the potty. She too boycotted going #2 unless she could go in the pullup. I realized it was creating a lot of anxiety for her and we talked to her doctor. He said if she has had 1 painful bowel movement, it will scare her from going on the potty. He suggested: (1) make certain she is not constipated - lots of fruit and veggies and water; (2) have a low potty for her (it's less painful than using an adult toilet); (3) relax and let her take her time. That's exactly what we did. Instead of forcing her on the potty (which would prevent her from going out of fear), when we sensed she had to go we would offer her a pullup. After about a week she would ask for the pullup when she sensed it coming. About a week later she was going by herself on the potty - no encouragement, not rewards. I think the best thing we did was to relax about it and let her take her time.

Slowly warm him up to the idea. Don't get frustrated when he goes in his diaper, but slowly encourage him to go into the bathroom, just the room, with his diaper on to go #2, then, as he is comfortable with that, have him sit on the toilet in his diaper and go. When you do this he gets comfortable going on the potty, but still gets the safety of the diaper.

My daughter refused too, and we're still working on it, but to get her to go to begin with, I figured she was too comfortable pooping in her pants, so I made her go around with no pants or panties on. I was amazed - she didn't even hesitate to go to the potty chair to go #2 when she had nowhere for it to go. Now she is just starting to go in her pants, then she realizes that she needs to go... so we're still working, but that got us going. Good luck - it's such a long process for some of us! Others get lucky.

Hi B.. Is this a control issue with your son, now? All the other advice sounds like great advice. I wonder what would happen if you just shrugged your shoulders and ignored the issue for a couple of days or a week and then tried again?
Good luck! I hope by Jan, it's all worked out!

Hi B.,

I have a 2 1/2 year old, and what i did for him was just took his diaper off and he had accidents couple of times. Your son might cry or get embarrassed just like my son was, but it worked,and eventually he started telling us, had no problems since. Your carpet might get dirty or stained.
We just cleaned our carpet thoroughly once he was fully trained.

Good Luck

Look on the bright side-at least he will go #1 in the potty! In my book you are doing great. My 3.5 yr old son won't do either - period. It's been a huge issue for 6 mo now. Keep doing what you are doing and he will eventually come around I'm sure. Sorry I don't have any better advice! By the way daycares should be accepting non potty trained children-they ususally take children of varying ages. Did you mean preschool? Many preschools won't accept non trained children. If your daycare really won't accept a non potty trained child you should look around for another daycare who does.

My son refused to potty train at all. When he was a little over three months I finally decided to just taken off all pants and underwear for a weekend and see how that went. He started going #1 in the potty right away, but we had an accident with #2. He came up to me crying and completely upset because he had gone on the floor. The next time he had to go #2, he ran to the potty himself, sat down and went. Ever since then, he has been going completely on the potty. I think seeing it, and feeling it bothered him enough that he didn't want to do that again. I don't know if this will help, but as long as your are willing to clean up a little mess it is worth a try.