My son will be three next month, and is wonderful when it comes to going pee pee in the potty. But he will NOT go poop in the potty! Any suggestions on how to get him to at least TRY?!
ADDITIONAL INFO:
Now that I've got a little bit more time I'd like to tell you all a little more info.. :)
He doesn't seem to be afraid of the potty at all! He will actually make a game of going potty and pee 5 times in 10 mins very regularly! We started potty training him after his 2nd b-day, but he started actually playing with his poop.. like reaching into his unders/diapers and wiping it on toys, or his sisters face (yeah, I know, it was lovely) so we stopped everything there and worked on getting him to stop playing with it. He hasn't done that now in months, but the kid obviously finds his poop fascinating and very fun.
I have always spoken to Dylan in the same general tone I speak to adults, with obviously words that are simple and age appropriate. I've never done the baby talk thing with him. He's excited about being a big boy. I haven't put a diaper on him (with the exception of night time) in a few weeks now. He's in unders constantly unless we are going to be driving for awhile or at a store for a long period of time, then we'll use a pull-up. He has actually stayed dry every single time. He's even staying dry at night.
I think the hardest part is that there hasn't been any sign that he's about to poop. There never has been. He doesn't hide, squat, squirm, bear down. Nothing! He doesn't even stop playing!
Although, the last 2 days he's actually taken his unders off and pooped on the floor, so I obviously need to watch for that. He also tells me when he goes.
We don't make a big deal out of accidents. The last thing I want to do is make this scary or uncomfortable for him. I bought a toy the other day and told him that if he goes poo poo in the potty that he'll get a new toy, and he says he will. If you ask him where poo poo goes he'll even tell you it goes in the potty.
Well anyway, thank you all for your advise. There's quite a few suggestions I think I'm gonna try. I'll let you know how this works out. Next time I won't be so long-winded! :)
SUCCESS!!! My son is FINALLY potty trained at 37 months old! I figured out what worked best for my child: pure unadulterated bribery!! He got a "Poo poo potty prize" everytime he went poo poo in the potty. I went down to the local second hand kids store and got small prizes, and garage sales or craigslist when I found them. It worked like a charm and he's been accident free for over 2 weeks!!
Next week we're stopping the prizes and have great faith that he'll be just fine going without them!
Have him count his poo poos... and don't get frustrated when he doesn't go... try "It's ok, I am sorry you didn't make it this time we can try again later" sometimes they don't want to try if there is a chance that they will fail. (It's safer to not try)
I'm not at this stage with my son yet, but I've heard that when a child teaches a doll how to use the potty, it can be very effective in getting the child to reach the goal, too. I've also heard that puppets talking to them is more effective than hearing about what to do from an adult, especially ma and pa.
Best wishes!
I would say that's normal for boys. My son took until he was 4 1/2 to 'get' it - and he had the advantage of daycare and seeing all the other kids, etc. At about 3 we'd do things like throw a few cherios in the toilet for him to aim at - it encouraged him to at least try. We could also tell when he was about ready, so we'd find him his favorite book and sit with him for a while reading while he was on the potty. My mother-in-law was helpful (she raised two boys on her own) in pointing out that kids are often afraid of sitting on the toilet - they don't like the splash especially since they can't see it. So we used a little seat for a while with him until he got in the habit of staying clean, then tried to switch to the toilet. Ultimately though, we simply stopped putting him in pull-ups or diapers and started making him change his own poopy pants (that was after his 4th birthday though!). He finally figured out how gross it was to change them, and decided it was easier to use the toilet. He's now 7 and still often needs to learn by doing things on his own before he 'gets' it. At 3 though, I wouldn't worry too much. Make it fun for him and see what he does.
Patience! I had the same problem about 4 months ago with my 3 1/2 yr old! My mother, bless her heart, had come up to visit and stayed home with him all day....making sure to let him go in his underwear. He finally realized that she wouldn't put his pull-ups back on and he started telling us when he had to poop. Now he announces it each time and goes to the toilet, screaming "mom" as soon as he is finished. I was so stressed and worried about him but it really did just take time and patience. Girls are soooo much easier!LOL! Best of luck!
My son (now 3) went through that also when he was potty training a few months ago. He was not afraid of the toilet, but for whatever reason did not want to poop in there. He would watch me dump his poop out of his pull-up into the toilet and flush it away. He loved to watch this and understood that this is what we do, so I still don't know what the issue was. What finally worked for him was to have him be naked at home some of the time and watch vigilantly for any warning signs that it is time to go. We had just a couple of accidents on the floor, but it was worth it to finally have him willing to try. We also spent a lot of time sitting in the bathroom reading while he sat on the pot, often with only liquid results, but it helped. Positive reinforcement, rewards, and verbalizing how proud you are also help, but they don't cut it if he won't even try. Honestly, the naked thing sounded disgusting to me and I refused to try it for a long time, but when I finally gave in, I was glad I did. It would be harder for you with your daughter around, so maybe you can find a time when she is with someone else or down for a nap for a couple of hours to work on this each day. Keep old towels and carpet cleaner handy, just in case. My son tried just holding it for the first few days of this, but I just gave him extra fruit to deal with that. Good luck.
H. G
My suggestion is DON'T try. Mildly suggest it and encourage him -make a big deal if he does it (jump up and down and cheer if he does.. you might feel silly, but he will like it) but do not make a big deal out of it if he goes in his diaper. When he decides he is ready will be the biggest determining factor in how successful he is at learning and retaining it. He is only three and many boys just start later.. and will have set backs. Hang in there.. they are only young once.
One trick..when he does seem interested/ready.... try to chart for yourself when he has his BMs.. so you know about when to expect it to happen. Then ask him about 10 minutes before you think he needs to go and casually ask him "Do you need to go?" and if he says yes.. then casually suggest he use the toilet. Don't force or get mad or anything..because that may do the opposite of what you are trying to accomplish.
when he does seem interested and starts trying... print out a blank calendar from your computer program and label it with his name. Each time he goes in the potty.. put a sticker on the day. when he reaches a goal. like one sticker per day for 7 days.. give him a reward that you agree on ahead of time - such as going out for an ice cream cone or a small toy he wants. Find a picture of that reward and attach it to the calendar and put it somewhere were he can see it frequently to remind him. When he does go in the potty... keep small plastic container in the bathroom (but out of his sight/reach) and give him 3 jelly beans/m&m's) from it (explain that he is getting three because he is three and have him help him count them out with you - this is excellent for helping him learn to count too. This will give him the immediate reward.. then the calendar/stickers will help him reach a more long term goal.
best wishes..
ME TOO!!
we don't do pull ups for one. just underware..but my son takes them off when he has to go,sort of like a warning sign i guess.. so you'll see him running around naked.. wondering where he went! lol.. no he pees in the toilet and the shower.. (who knows why!) I guess it is kind of like a urinal.
He had pooped once really big on the toilet and was so proud.. but still hates sitting there to poop.. no idea why! He went a tiny bit in the other day and then got off and pooped on the floor!
He tells me that poop goes in the potty but still has a very hard time. yesterday he had a little dairy which gives him the runs. (I usually don't let him have it, but it was pizza and he loves it) so I put a diaper on him, he took that off too! but hasn't gone yet in the potty!
when we first started he would hold his poop for days. So, I guess we're getting there right?
My only advice is to throw pull ups on the garbage. they only allow the problem to happen. As gross as it is. I wash his underpants, and my son sees and feels how gross it is.
he keeps telling me that poop goes in the potty. I think it is only a matter of time.
we tried bribes.. he refuses.. he's stubborn. it has to be on his terms. so I guess I'm the poop patrol!!
OH how I wish for more girls.. so much easier to train!!!
good luck!
Some kids are anxious about sitting on an open hole. This was true for my (now grown) daughter when she started using the potty. She did all right with pee long before she did with poo, possibly because pee is quicker and requires less work to accomplish. It's also harder to hold your pee for any length of time.
Potty seats are probably better designed and more comfortable now, but they will always have that hole, and little kids will always have their imaginations. It probably won't be easy for him to identify what causes him to resist (if it's not some vague fear, it might be about control because he knows by now how important this is for you), but I wonder if a relaxed conversation with your son when you are NOT trying to get him to use the potty would give you clues about causes for his resistance. Even privacy can be an issue at a surprisingly early age for some children. If you can get an idea about what's going on with him, you might be able to address his issues in ways that will help him feel understood and supported.
We used a "poo poos for choo choos" reward policy. (AKA - bribes!) My son is crazy for Thomas the Tank Engine, so we bought four or five new trains and freight cars and kept them in a box. We didn't pressure him and dangle the trains in front of him. To let him know that he would get a new train for going poop in the potty, I started a "private" conversation with my husband when I knew my son could overhear me. I said something like: "Hey Daddy, Alexander is getting to be SUCH a big boy. He's going to be going poop in the potty ANY day now." My husband then said, "When a big boy goes poo in the potty, he should get a special reward." I said, "You're right. We need to give Alexander a VERY special reward when he goes poo in the potty." (You get the idea.)
Anyhow. It is AMAZING how kids hear and understand things that interest them! It took maybe two days before he announced: "MAMA. I GO POO POO!" And then he promptly asked for he special train. He was allowed to pick a package anytime he went poop. (When the new trains were gone, he was allowed to pick two toys out of "toy time out" anytime he went poop.
One thing I noticed about my son was that he did NOT like to poop in public. I call him my "sneaky pooper." He was willing to poop in the potty only when he was by himself - as long as I gave him some privacy we were fine.
He is a big boy now, and needs to feel that he is treated as such. If you are not already doing so, talk to him more like a big boy. And encourage him. My son had big boy underwears, plain white. My mom sent some colored ones, which he really likes. So the colored underwears were reward if he did potty in the toilet and not anywhere else. Now he is exclusively in his big boy underwears, and is so glad to have the different colors and characters on. He really needs encouragement and positive affirmation to going in the toilet. And to see you express a little disappointment for going elsewhere. May even persuade him, to the toilet. Having big boy time with mommy apart from you daughter is good too! Or giving him responsibilities that he can handle. He may appreciate the challenge also.
The only thing I can say is be patient. My daughter is 4 1/2 and just now getting her to go in the potty. She has been pee-pee trained since 2 like your son. Don't know what is it but just would not go. I tried rewarding her and that did not work. She would be poopy free for a week then it would start all over again. And I am not talking once or twice a day! We are talking 4-5! I stopped going anywhere cause everywhere we went she would have an accident. I refused to put her back in pull-ups cause that just made it okay for her. We bought her a ballerina outfit and that seemed to work for a few days. All I can say is be patient. I am sorry I did not have the magic cure. If you find one let me know. I am excited we are poopy free for 2 days again!
Try to time it. Figure out about what time of day he goes, then try to have him on the potty at that time. Otherwise, you will just have to wait until he's ready. It's easier in the summer, you can let them run around without pants and let them go, they usually don't want to "go" on to their legs. Another thing you can do, for about 3 days, focus just on potty and put him on every time you think he's about to have a BM. Then when you catch him having it on the potty, let him flush it, and praise him a LOT. Maybe give him a prize or stickers. Ultimately, it's under his control. My daughter had that problem as well. Good luck!
I just went through this with my son (also 3) and boy can I relate to the stress of it. Are you putting him in pull ups or underwear? My son had a poop accident in his underwear and I told him he needed to take his underwear down himself and clean up. (of course I was there to help and never made him feel bad about it) He absolutely thought it was the worst thing in the world but you know what he goes in the potty now. I also told him it wasn't nice to poop on diego (his favorite undies character) and he agreed haha GOod luck, it will happen I promise.
Hi K.!
Oooh, we just went through this! My daughter turned 3 on Dec. 17th & literally pooped on the potty a couple days before her birthday. She has been 'pee' potty trained since about 2yrs old---was very difficult because she would go and put on her own pull-up, go to a particular spot & poop. For her, it seemed like a control issue. She would scream when we would sit her on the toilet---but the times she would sit there, she would literally sit there for an hour without being productive & wanted us to hold her hand or read a book, etc. She would cry a lot. One day, I decided to just ignore her & told her that she had to poop & I wouldn't come in until she did. She cried & cried & I just acted like it was ok---then she fially stopped & reallized that wouldn't work & told me that she pooped---I ran in and did a dance, etc. The next three times she cried the same & I ignored her until she pooped---now, everything is great. That may sound awful, to ignore her for an hour, but it worked.
Hope that helps!!
Sincerely,
Jen H
Sounds like you guys are doing a good job. Keep it up and be patient it will come. He won't be going in his pants all his life. They all progress at their own speed. We just need to be patient. Good Luck!
Laura
My daughter went through this. She LOVES stickers, so I made a calendar for her that was put on the wall in the bathroom. Everytime she went poop in the potty she got a sticker to put on the calendar for that day. She also got extra stickers for going poop in the potty at daycare. I say find a currency that works for him and try to give positive reinforcement for when he does a good job, and don't make a big deal about it when he doesn't.
