Potty Training 3 1/2 Year Old Girl

Updated on May 13, 2010
A.B. asks from Schenectady, NY
11 answers

i need some help i have a 3 1/2 year old girl very stubborn..i can not get her out of diapers for anything..i take her to the potty and she will not sit on it she says no and kicks and screams..i even ask her if she needs to go pee pee and she says no way mommy..she is 44 pounds and tall for a 3 year old..shes in size 7 diapers and they are almost to small for her so i have no idea what to do..i want to get her into preschool but cant even do that until she is potty trained..also she wont even wear panties..i bought her some i new she would love and even let her pick out some and that wont even work..so all mommy's if you have some helpfull info please let me know..thanks so much

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B.L.

answers from Jacksonville on

My fave parenting author says that potty training a child so late is like trying to house train a dog at 1 year old as opposed to training a puppy at several weeks old. The older the dog, the harder it is. Either way, though, here is a list of steps he recommends: http://www.herald-dispatch.com/life/x1875274774/Eight-eas... Good luck!

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D.M.

answers from Denver on

tough as they all do it when they are ready. I'd focus on positive enforcement and rewarding her when she does what you want - sits on potty etc. Also, you can try the cold turkey method... just take the diapers away - let her be naked.... and make sure you have a few days to spend at home. Most kids hate the feeling of making a mess ... good luck!

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S.C.

answers from Fort Wayne on

My daughter is crazy stubborn too. I say up, she says down. I say eat, she says no. I feel like every single day is nothing but a power struggle. The only way I got her to even consider potty training was to quit trying. I went through months of the screaming and yelling and screeching. Finally, I had enough and I just quit trying. Later that same week she decided she was ready. I'm not saying it was easy..she still has accidents almost a year later. But, for the most part, she's potty trained. Maybe if you just back off for a few days? When my daughter decided she was ready, we got her an Elmo potty training coloring book that came with a sticker chart and stickers. I also got her a pack of special glittery Princess stickers. She loved putting the stickers on the chart and showing her Daddy when he came home from work.
I know for me, I hated giving up that control. I NEEDED her to potty train. I was so ready to be done changing toddler diapers! If she's incredibly stubborn, it might just be a power struggle.
Good luck to you! I swear, potty training was one of the hardest things for me!

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E.T.

answers from Memphis on

Right after my oldest son turned 3, he kept asking for a red care bear...for days...and I kept saying no because he had just had his birthday. Finally, I got sick of hearing it so I told him when he went 2 full days using the potty for pee and poop with no accidents I would take him to the toy store and he could pick out whatever care bear he wanted. The next morning he got up and asked for underwear. He used the potty all day and pooped the next day. He was so excited and we went straight to the toy store. He got his care bear and never looked back....he's 7 now and has never had an accident or wet the bed. She's definitely old enough to know better and now it's just a power struggle with her. Let her have some control over it and it probably won't take her very long. Good luck!

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K.H.

answers from Boston on

I used the cold turkey method with my daughter. Be prepared to spend some days just at home and it is definitely a lot of work, but it all pays in the end..in my case it didnt take more than a week for my daughter to be potty trained...her wet pants made her too uncomfortable!! You can buy the Gerber training panties, that are thicker and hence a bit more absorbent than normal ones. Also keep asking her atleast after every half hour if she needs to go potty. And I wouldn't suggest buying any fancy kind of potty seats, I believe they are distracting for the child. But ofcourse you can reward her afterwards :) good luck!

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C.B.

answers from Kansas City on

take a couple days and lose the diapers completely. when she has an accident, don't get mad or make a fuss - hand her some paper towels and she needs to clean it up. don't lose your patience. she's controlling the situation right now and you need to take control back. by the end of the S. day or so, she will accept that unless she wants to poo/pee on herself, she will need to use the potty. at 3 1/2 she is absolutely capable - she just has been allowed to slide by. yes, it involves some work on her part. and she needs to do it. imo it sounds like she has been allowed to manipulate you and be defiant and disobey you when you instruct her what to do. just my humble opinion, i could be wrong. sounds like to me it's just a case of putting your foot down, and not caving. you can do it!

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K.N.

answers from Austin on

I wonder if having her hang out in the younger 2-3 yo room at daycare will provide the motivation you need. At this age, they figure out really quick which room is for 'babies' and which is for the 'big girls'... Does the preschool have a younger class? She may have also have over heard you saying that as long as she is not, she can't go... Which may be fueling her decision to fight you on it...?

I bought my daughter a toy that she really really wanted, and kept it in the bathroom up where she could see it but not play with it... And told her, if you want the toy you have to use the potty for a week. Rewards for toilet use don't tend to work for 2-3 yo children, but at her age, she's old enough to understand it. And, be prepared to take the toy back to the store (with her seeing the reward get returned) if the goal is not met...

I do understand though, that if you're up against trying to get her into daycare, that you might not be able wait "until she's ready"...

Good luck!

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M.H.

answers from Chattanooga on

Try go to the bathroom with her and with the door shut , you can try the little potty and you use your potty beside her and show her you are not afraid to use it and if she don't like the potty try the toilet seat back ward. Tell her that you are not afraid of use it ,show her how you use it.or you can sit her in front of it and tell her you will give her a award and it help get her to the potty we had a 31/2 year old in the daycare at my sister and it work.My grandson already broken he is 2 he watch his brother go and it help a lot he is not afraid of nothing, he ever asked to go to the bathroom all we had to do is pulled all of his bottom pant and underwear he will go him self and sit on the bowel backward . Just try to make her wear the pantie don't use the diaper at all and better yet not put them on she will use the potty sometime kid like that just wont learn from parent sometime a babysitting can break them or if she has a sister or brother this will help break her and if you tell her if she mess in her pant again you will have to put her time out. They hate time out.I hope this work, It was easy to break me and my older sister teach me how to go potty by going outside behind the house in the good old day. that was over 50 year ago.Hope this help. M.

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E.C.

answers from San Francisco on

Are there any older children/cousins that she looks up to that she sees often? Wanting to do something like "Big Girl So-and-So" can be a strong motivation for preschoolers. My twin daughters were late potty trainers but when they were 3.5YO didn't complain about doing a "two minute sit on the potty" before going out of the house because they knew that my friend's 5YO"Big Girl Sarah" did that

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A.T.

answers from Jacksonville on

She may be fighting you and that is quite stressful but you have to stick with it. Kids are use to making their own poop and pee schedules, not being made to go when you want them to. It just takes time. My daughter was about the same age and we had basically the same trouble. She'd sit on the potty but she held her pee!!! My pediatrician recommended me to put panties on her or just no diaper at all and let her discover how unpleasant wet shorts were. After taking her to the potty every 30 mins to 1 hour, and after 3 days of wet shorts (and a few wet spots on my carpet), she got tired of being wet and went on her own. After that strict schedule, she never wet again! Good luck and I hope this helps.

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E.M.

answers from Louisville on

i hate to say this but shes just not ready. you will have to wait until she is or you will end up fighting to the death lol

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