Potty Issues Again

Accidents happen.
It is childhood.
Even if they are older and potty trained.

Do not punish or scold. That will not help.
Kids HAVE accidents.

She is probably embarrassed, so she will not ask for a new underwear.

My daughter had accidents. In Preschool. In Kindergarten. In 1st grade.
ALL of her Teachers, Preschool, Kindergarten, 1st Grade... ALL said, this happens and is normal. Not abnormal. Other kids have accidents too. Not only my daughter.
The Teachers, do not make a big deal of it. They merely notice the accident, comfort the child, and have them change clothing/underwear. Discreetly. They do not draw attention to it.
Thus, for each grade my daughter was in, I always and per the Teacher, had extra clothes for her at school.
EVEN the Health Room lady, has TONS of extra underwear... for the Elementary school kids, in case they have accidents. Because, it DOES and will, happen.

A Teacher, SHOULD notice. And then change the child.

This is normal.

Your daughter is simply too embarrassed to admit and then ask for a change of underwear. Or she is embarrassed to ask to go to the Bathroom.

CAN the kids go to the bathroom, at ANY time? Or does her school only have certain times, the kids can go??? This also happens at some schools.

All the best,
Susan

I have been dealing with this issue for quite some time now with my oldest. He was holding it in for days at a time and then kept "leaking" poop out. I had finally had enough when he was having "accidents" in kindergarten. I took him to a gastro doc. THE best move I ever made. Dr. Gold in Bayshore - he explained everything to me about childhood encopresis(?). First, you can't react to her at all - no punishment, no scolding, no complaining to her about having to clean up after her, etc. It is the hardest thing to do!!! You just have to let her do things on her own with no comments from the peanut gallery (not even praising) . When she gets the job done with no accidents, good job. Move on. This is what is under her control to get attention from you - good or bad. She will fix this on her own too. Kids will continue to do the "pee pee dance" and holding it in for years to come until they realize that they are not missing out on whatever it is that they are doing. Good luck and most of all, PATIENCE!!!! lots and lots of patience!

Maybe they should send her to the bathroom instead of letting her decide when to go-which she is struggling with. After a while-she'll get back in the swing and won't need the urging. Does she have her own undies at school for accidents? That might help, too.

I would like to correct something that another responder said - feces IS NOT STERILE. Urine is, but not feces. That's why it's essential to wash your hands after pooping, and why fecal contamination of water is so dangerous. It is filled with bacteria which, while there is very little likelihood that feces in your daughter's panties will infect anyone else, your daughter is at risk of urinary infections resulting from feces entering her urinary tract. While accidents may be normal, I don't think not mentioning them is, and this needs to be addressed asap. Focus on that first, and then work on minimizing the accidents. Tell her it may make her sick, explain that she should not be ashamed - I find it really helps to tell her that you had accidents a lot too when you were a child. That, plus maybe one really good bribe to incent her to change her ways. Maybe like if after one week of clean underwear at the end of the school day (even if she's had to change underwear several times during the day) and she gets to pick out a new pack of underwear, or doll, or whatever might work with your daughter.

As for reducing the incidents of accidents, I would talk to her to try to understand why she is having small accidents. My guess is she doesn't want to use the bathroom at school for some reason - when she needs to go, she clenches to hold it in, hence the small accidents. Is it a matter of missing all the fun when she has to go, or does she not like the bathroom for some reason? Is it dirty? Cold? Far away? Hopefully talking it over and offering understanding and reassurance will be enough to resolve the matter.

I wouldn't reward or bribe, using the bathroom is an expected behavior not a game. It sounds like she is too busy and having too much fun to get to the bathroom in time. I would speak with her teachers and see if they would be willing to give her a reminder every hour to go and use the bathroom, and it's not a choice, she must do it.