6 Year Old Having 'Accidents'

My friends 10 year was this way and lived with me. We did not allow anything to drink after 7pm. Shre wore pull ups. She never got up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom. It is a medical condition. Did anyone recently pass away. Has she been through a huge change in her life. Discipline did not help. It made it worse. She needs to see a doctor. She may just have a very tiny bladder. As for the 10 year old she finally grew out of it.

The sensor in her body that lets her know she has to go may not work properly. I had a friend that had to just go on a schedule because she could not feel that she had to go until it was an emergency.

Hi J.-

If it were me, I would take her to the pediatrician just to rule out anything medical.

As far as your ex's opinion that it is willful, I suppose anything is possible but I don't know many 6 year olds who would choose to have an accident at school and be embarassed like that in front of their friends!! My guess is that it is either medical or something psychological that is causing it. Perhaps a recent change in her life or something that she saw or heard that scared her? My daughter was told by a boy in her preschool class that spiders lived in the toilet at school. Everytime the teacher told her it was time to go to the potty, she would complain and fuss and do anything to not have to go. The teacher would eventually make her go so we didn't have any accidents but it was only after several days of this that my daughter finally told the teacher why she didn't want to go. After we reassured her she was fine. My point is that it could be something simple that you just haven't identified yet.

Good Luck,
K.

Hi J.
Gosh, how embarrising for your little girl. Thisis the experience I had with one of my daughters- she had a urinary trac infection that was undetectable. On one of her usual checkk ups the I mentioned to the dr. that her fingers looked a little swolen and she had a little puffy under her eyes- and it was found she did have a little infection- this caused her to have pressure and some uncontrollability- I would just have her checked for that first- then look for something has has caused a little trauma in her little life- talk it out with her without making to big a deal .....and if she agrees- put the pul ups on her (under her normal panties) so she will be more comfortable at school. I think you will see in a short time that the pull ups come home dry and she will be ok.
Good luck
Blessings

My little girl had a similar issue....it turned out that she had a bladder infection (probably from holding it all day long at school). She was also 6 years old at the time. It was SO embarassing for her when she would have an accident...and it would usually happen towards the end of the day right before I would pick her up. She has always been so "funny" about public toilets...she hated to go at school. We went to the doctor and she diagnosed her with a bladder infection, gave her antibiotics, and had a good long talk with her about going to the bathroom when she needed to go, regardless of where she was...or she could get really sick and end up in the hospital. That seemed to cure her of her unwillingness to go when she needed to go. Good Luck....I think discipline is not the answer and will only make it worse.

This sounds like it could be a urinary infection. Get to the doctor. Discipline is not the answer.

Hi J.,
I will share personal experience with you. I had same problem as a child, it included bedwetting. the daytime incidents discontinued as I got older, not the bedwetting. When I was 15 yrs, parents took me to counselor thinking All of this intentional. Counselor merely recommended doing Kegels (exercises that strenghten the urethra) after several weeks and a few months, it began to work. been fine ever since. I still do kegels to prevent inconstinence. To do the exercises have her try to "stop the flow of urine repeatedly once the flow begins" dont blame your daughter please. It was very traumatizing to see my mother get so upset with me every morning. the guilt was horrible and the embarrassment of it all enough to make an introvert of me eventually. I was so relieved when the counselor saidshe believed me that I wasnt doing on purpose. when she suggested Kegels and explained how to do them and how often(everytime duing urinating) I was more than willing to try. I was so happy. The counselor even suggested my parents seek counseling, but they declined.

hope this helps,
L.

J.,

A urinary tract infection was my first thought. That's pretty much a simple fix, just a simple urine test (pee in a cup), then a round of antibiotics. If your daughter is prone to yeast infections, it's worth mentioning to the doctor before starting antibiotics because they can make problems with excessive yeast flare up. Provided a UTI is the only problem, that should clear her problem right up.

My daughter, when she was six, started having accidents, although they were mostly only bowel accidents. My daughter was VERY difficult to potty train (didn't train until she was 4), and is also a strong-willed child. Her problem was entirely willful in nature, and she only did it in situations where she either wasn't getting her way, or when she felt she didn't have my undivided attention (only child!). She had had no new medications or stressors in her life at the time, and gentle discipline did correct her problem. However, the fact that your daughter seems to be embarrassed about it and tries to hide it or explain it indicates to me that this is not something she's doing on purpose. Hopefully it's an easy fix (such as UTI), but if that comes back negative, look to environmental factors. It's possible that this is due to internal stress from the divorce, or as the other respondent said, she could be afraid of the toilet for some reason. Maybe she's embarrassed to ask to use the toilet in front of her class. Or she could just be so busy playing or studying or whatever that she just doesn't realize she has to go until she REALLY has to go.

In any case, continue to reassure her, and try to have her father do the same. If your daughter sees you working together as a team, it will relieve some of her fears. Even if that isn't what is causing this problem, she'll feel better all around knowing that even if the family lines have changed, it's still her family and she's still loved and cherished. Good luck.

Take her to the doctor immediately!! I just went through this last week with my 5 1/2 year old that is in Kindergarten.. She had a urinary tract infection. She wasn't having any pain, so the only sign was the accidents.

Hi J.!
I have no exper. with the issue personally (yet - my kids are younger)...I would call your pediatrician's office - talk to the nurse and see if you should bring her in to ruleout a urinary tract infection/other and while you are at it, see if the nurse can offer suggestions as to how to deal with this. I am sure your daughter is not the only one or the first to have this happen.
Other: Her accidents seem to corresp. with the timeliness of your divorce...any chance this is just some sort of way she is dealing with that? Did visitation/etc. change at divorce time that might cause her to have some stress where she has the accidents?
I hope you get to the bottom of it. Much luck,
T.

Double check to make sure she doesn't have a bladder or kidney infection. Rule that out first. Then, start her on a schedule for now. She may just have had a growth spurt and her bladder hasn't caught up. She may just have a hard time sensing that she has to go. She is probably holding it in too long because she doesn't want to stop doing what she is doing. That happened to me as a young girl a lot. Then, once she realizes that she has to go, it's too late. A schedule would help that. Tell her to try and go before school, before recess, before lunch, after lunch, after rotation class, after homework, etc. Whatever seems reasonable and would be easily remembered and wouldn't be too embarrassing. If her teacher is already aware, then she shouldn't mind allowing this. If the teacher is bothered by this, then conference with the nurse to demand it. Give it time, and give your daughter the tools/reminders to deal with it.

It's probably related to the divorce, especially your ex's reaction to it. Try talking to the school counselor to see if she can recommend a specialist in that area.

I would encourage you to consult for doc asap and tell him or her exactly what is going on. Could be a urinary tract infection or something else. I doubt it is willful, either way your doctor can help.

I agree with your ex. I think it sounds like she dosent want to quit what she is doing and be left out. Try setting a timer and when it dings ask her to go to the rest room. Good luck.

I didn't read anyone else's responses...sorry. And my son is only 2 and not yet potty trained, so I might not be the best person to give advice.
It is possible she could have a urinary tract infection. But chances are she would be complaining of pain. most likely it is some kind of anxiety, inattentiveness to her body telling her she needs to go, or just laziness (not to be mean).
But I would say that when she is at home with you, have her go to the bathroom every 30 minutes. If this problem is a case of her just being too lazy to go the bathroom on her own, then the inconvenience of having to go every 30 minutes under your watch might just be enough to make her realize you are serious about it.
Tell her that she needs to always visit the bathroom at school during recess and lunchtime-that way she at least has the opportunity to go every few hours. Maybe set up a parent/teacher conference so you three can talk about what might be stopping her from asking to go while in class.

I hope you figure something out. I would hate for her to get teased by other kids about wetting her pants in school.

Yes, she needs to see a Dr. Her words that she has to go all of a suddena dn doesn't seem to have warning indicates she should be checked out medically.

Hey J.,
I am 38 years old and started wetting the bed and having accidents at school around the age of 5. Until then, I never had potty issues. It just so happens that was the same year my parents divorced. I dont think that it is medical so much as emotional. Divorce is hard. I will be willing to bet that when she settles into a new routine with you and your ex living apart, the accidents will subside. This is not at all to make you feel bad. It just is. I think that when these little people go through something difficult, remebering to go to the potty is last on the list. Be supportive, dont judge, talk to her in a kind, loving, reassuring voice. Be her safe place. It will end as soon as it began.
Good luck to you and your family, wish you the best,
Margaret :)

If this started around the time of your divorce, maybe that had something to do w/it. I read somewhere that kids who wet or soil themselves may do so out of wanting or feeling the need for attention or perhaps because they feel left out or some similar feelings if there's no other health related issue that causes it. If this isn't the case, have you gone to the dr. to make sure she doesn't have any other issues? Perhaps you may want to ask her if she feels different because of the divorce & that may be what triggered it. I do remember as a kid though, that it was often hard for me to make it to the bathroom in time because the feeling sometimes would just all of a sudden come over me that I had to go NOW but I would either be outside or someplace where I couldn't make it in time but only when I had to pee, not when I had to poo since that was usually obvious but no kidding, one minute I was fine then all of a sudden, I HAD to go, a LOT. Maybe that's your daughter's issue. Just remember, kid's bladders are smaller than ours & it may take time for her to adjust or recognize the 'feeling' that she may hafta go. You might need to explain to her that because her bladder is smaller, it can't hold a lot & if she feels the urge to go, it's a natural thing & EVERYone does it so she shouldn't feel embarrased. If kids are terrible & poke fun, just tell her they're just being silly & try to ignore them or just tell them "so what, I gotta go. You do too, big deal." Maybe that will help. Good luck!

I agree with the possibility of a UTI. Frequency, burning can all be signs of infection. You want to deal with it, not only because of the duress it causes her, but because UTI's can lead to pyelonephritis which is an infection in the kidney. That is much more serious than a UTI.

You are describing our daughter, perfectly.......after having her tested for a UTI we ended up at Children's Urology in Austin (a couple of times) where she was diagnosed with Dysfunctional Bladder Syndrome......it is where children hold themselves from going potty to the point where they desenatize their bladder and can't tell when they have to go until it is to late. Constipation can be a big factor in this as well. We have dealt with this since 2nd semester of kindergarten, and she is now in 3rd grade. Initially they told us to have her drink 21 oz. of water at school each day, go potty every two hours and be consistent, patient, etc. We did change her diet with everything being HIGH FIBER.....it has gotten better but it does reoccur and it has never totatlly gone away.......Google Dysfunctional Bladder Syndrome and you will find all kinds of information. This affects boys and girls but in different ways.....
We also purchased a vibrating watch to help remind her to go potty...and it might work for some kids, it didn't do so well with our daughter as she would just turn it off and if she did not have to go potty she would ignor it and then predictably a few minutes later she would have an accident. After this much time she pretty much knows every two hours and so do I.......I constantly remind her two hours are up, and to take a break......We always tell her teachers about this and if they have been teaching very long, they are very familiar with this issue.
Good Luck.......

Take her to the doctor and have her tested for a Urinary tract infection. This happens to my daughter and she does not have other symptoms besides sudden urge to go. She will just have to pee in a cup and if she has an infection they will give her meds and she will be fine in a day or two.

My daughter is 6 yrs old also, and her father and I are divorced as well and she also has "accidents." But the thing with her is, she has ALWAYS had accidents. I just got her checked again and found out that she has another UTI but a minor one. She has these all the times but it's hard to tell because she never says that it hurts to use the restroom and nor does she complain that anything else hurts either. I pay attention to the color and smell of her urine. Your daughter may be upset about the divorce but you really need to take her to a Dr. and voice your concerns. There may be something more serious going on with her than just emotional issues over the divorce. My daughter is about to go to a Urologist to get checked. Just an FYI. Hope this helps.