Hi Moms!
I need help with potty training. I'm caring for a little boy of 3 that won't go on the pot to poop. He wears pullups and always makes it to the bathroom when he has to pee but hardly ever tries to make it for #2. He used to have HUGE fits when he had "accidents" AND when I would put him on the bowl to "finish." That's not happening anymore (TG) but he still isn't going to the bathroom like he should. PLEASE HELP! I've tried praising him (which I still do), giving M&M's (worked for a short while), taking money away from his weekly allowance... I SO DIDN'T HAVE THIS PROBLEM WITH MY DAUGHTER AND I'M AT A LOST!!! If you've been through this and found something that worked for you, please share :-)
Well ladies, with his mom's consent, I decided to forego the pullups (which is what I did with my daughter). He's been pullup free and we've both been MUCH happier since. He's had 2 maybe 3 accidents over the past few weeks and they weren't full blown accidents - just the start of one, if you know what I mean - and finished on the bowl.
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and ideas with me and no offense to those who thought I should've waited. In the end, I felt he really was ready :-)
Hi M.,
My son has the same issue. He is almost 3 1/2 and just last month mastered peeing on the toilet. He wont poop. I can usually time when he has to go and we put a pull up on. His dad and I talk to him and he gets upset. I stopped getting upset and frustrated. We are all so thrilled about him going pee I know he will get the other part soon. Hang in there this seems to be a common thing judjing by the other responses.
Good luck.
Hi M.,
If you were his mommy I would tell you to take the pull-ups away. Perhaps you could discuss this with his parents? I really think this is the problem. Good luck. I couldn't fathom potty training someone else's child.
the comment about the allowance is funny. it didn't register when i read it, but yeah, i don't think a 3 year old could even understand or care about that consequence. ok, since this isn't your child, i don't know if it will work, but it's what worked for my daughter who is 3 and 8 months and just finally is doing well with both peeing and pooping. i made a rewards chart. well, maybe it isn't so far off from that allowance, so i shouldn't be talking. but when she does something that we are trying to get her to do more (we have a spot on the chart for each of these things), she gets a sunshine. when she does it 10 times she earns a BIG sunshine that at the end of the week we go to the dollar store and she can trade it in for a toy. so if she earns 4 suns that week she gets 4 toys. (in the beginning we made the harder things easier to earn, by getting it after say 5 times not 10, so that the reward was a little more attainable and she could experience the reward before the chart got boring). AND with pooping i did a double prize, a sort of jackpot. she earns the suns with it but also earns a trip to chuck e cheese. i was at my wits end when i made the chart and was pretty much willing to do anything to get her to poop on the potty. now she probably doesn't need the double reward, its even a bit confusing at times for her, but once she FINALLY went enough times to go to chuckie's she really kicked it into gear. no she hasn't had an accident with poop (she's had a few with pee for not going in time) in probably 3 or 4 weeks. a true miracle. i know you probably can't bribe him with chuck e cheese, but maybe you can work with his mom to do something like it. or maybe there is something else he totally loves. anyhow, if you decide to do it and want help with how to do a chart let me know. i could take a picture and send it and tell you how i did it. it sounds easy but it took a lot of time to make when i didnt' have any idea of how i was going to do it. btw, i had tried TONS of other things before i did this chart. it really works. good luck!
Hi M.. Just let him use his pullups. I had to imagine being bossed into pooping from my son who had the same problem. They don't care about the calendar and will use the potty when they're safe and ready. don't put pressure. My son responded very well to going on his own time and getting the potty that goes over a toilet with a ladder attached. Forgot where I got it, but it was ordered online from a google search. He was trained to urinate since age 2 but not until 4 did he use the toilet for pooping. This issue will pass. concentrate on him feeling good about himself and not on accomplishments and you'll be releived yourself.
Hi There,
My daughter is almost 3 and 1/2 and just started consistantly pooping in the toilet a month ago. She has been pee trained and in underwear with NO pee accidents since last summer!! The poop thing was a control thing, and although she knew exactly what to do, she would not. The more we tried to get her to do it... the more she would control it. Literally, she would not go and get constipated. So, our pediatrician said to just wait until she was ready. We just made the rule that she had to ask for a diaper and go in the bathroom... that is where we poop. She would always ask for a diaper, and go in the bathroom (but mostly poops early in the morning when she still has her night time diaper on anyway, which I think made it too easy for her). So, we finally decided to put a little potty seat in her bedroom with towels under it and said, here is a potty if you have to do you poop in the morning, you can do it by yourself. And sure enough, a couple of days later she yelled to us "hey, I just did my poop in the potty and I need help wiping!". Now we leave some wet wipes there, and she does that herself too (we check of course)... and she uses toiled in the bathroom if she needs to go during the day. I want to wean her from pooping in the potty in her room, but atleast it is in the potty!! So, my advice is, don't push it, just let it go for a little while. Maybe have a designated poop potty and say, "when you are ready, here is a potty to do your poop in"... and just wait a while.... Another thing to do is get rid of pullups alltogether, they act just like a diaper, he might be more reluctant to soil his underwear... then make a rule that if he needs to poop, he needs to ask for a diaper and do it in the bathroom, or use the potty. He may decide that the process of putting a diaper on and getting changed is just not worth it, and go on the potty instead.
Good Luck!
I don't think there is a magic trick. My boys were all 4 or darn close to it before they trained and pooping was a big issue for all of them. With my oldest we ended up having to use a stool softener because it was such and issue that he ended up trying not to poop at all. I can't tell your relationship to the child from your post. If you are not his mom, you can ask his mom if she has talked to her pediatrician but being resistant to pooping in the potty isn't uncommon at his age. Taking his allowance away certainly wouldn't work, he is too young to understand money and "punishments" are only going to add pressure and make him more resistant to pooping on the potty.
He will do it eventually, most likely when he decides he is ready.
Totally off the subject but I have to ask... A three year old gets a weekly allowance? For what? Just curious. :)
Dear M., Seems that little boys have more trouble with potty training than girls. You may need to let him mature a bit. Good luck. Grandma Mary
M.,
You can try the DVD "Pocket Snails Potty Steps". That seemed to help my son.
Blessings,
T. E.
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