Need Potty/poop Training Help

Updated on November 12, 2011
K.L. asks from Woodland, CA
11 answers

I have a 2yr, 6mo old son. He is amazing at peeing in the potty. We have been leaving him naked for about 8mo, and he has no diaper on whenever were at home, and when he is awake. He will tell me when he has to pee, and goes potty like a pro! Problem is, he will NOT poop on the potty. Flat out, won't do it. He went once, and we threw him a party! I have made a sticker chart, tried m&ms, bribing with toys, cookies, etc. He will hold it in all day, and right when I diaper him for nap or bed.... BAM!!! He poops in his diaper! I'm just not sure what to do... Has anyone gone through the same thing with a L. boy?

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C.T.

answers from Dallas on

Yep! Many kids find pooping on the potty to be scary or intimidating. My son was pee-trained for a few months before he was poop-trained, and he did exactly what you are describing: he held it until I put on his nap/night time diaper, then pooped. What worked for my son was breaking it into steps. I told him that any time he wanted to poop, I would put him in a diaper, BUT he had to be inside the bathroom while pooping. Once he was comfortable with that, I told him he had to sit in the bathroom, and I gave him the choice of a chair, the floor, or the toilet (still in a diaper). He chose the floor. Next step was sitting on the potty, in a diaper, to poop. Once he did that, even just once, he knew he could do it in the toilet, and he was eager to poop on the potty (without a diaper). From that first time, he was fully day-time trained! Good luck!

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☆.A.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I think with boys, who can so clearly "see" the act of peeing, the poop is more "mysterious." They can also think it's part of them.
The book "Once Upon A Potty" (boy version) helped my L. guy turn this corner, it explains, even shows, "exactly" where/what/how of poop.

Also, I kind of caught him mid-poop O. day, popped him on the potty and "knocked" it in--then--cue the wild celebration!

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M.D.

answers from San Francisco on

Agree with S.H. completely. My son is 3 1/2, and mastered peeing no prob a few months ago and even pooped a couple of times just recently with the sticker/few M&M's bribe. It was a great day and I thought that would be it, but now nothing again and gets upset if I mention it. He will go immediately in his pull up. I used to get a L. mad about it but now I'm just letting it be on his own terms. Try not to compare him to friend's/family's kids that are the same age. Yes, boys are harder to train than girls but also all children are different. It will happen. He will not be wearing diapers/pull ups in grammar school. I am at the point where I feel I'm in such a hurry for him to advance, grow up that I know I'll look back and regret not just enjoying him at this age. They grow so fast. Be patient. Gold luck.

R.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

I hear you!

My guy is a month past 2 1/2 and had been refusing to poop in the potty as well, even though he could, so I started using this method and he actually began telling me when he needed to poop in the potty within a couple of days : ) A key is the "power incentive" and how you use it, YOU own it, not your son, and he earns the privilege of using it for 30 - 60 minutes, which keeps the reward something he'll keep trying for.

http://www.rogerknapp.com/medical/pottytrainingrefusals.htm

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

Girl or boy... pooping in the pot takes time.
They will do it, when ready.
Pooping in the pot, is often the last phase.... of potty 'training.'

Be careful, about forcing it...because then, in some kids, that will just create worse problems.
ie: stress and anxiety, and then the child will NOT poop, at all. And then 'withhold' it. Even if they have to go.
I know, because, with my daughter at that age..... even if we did not force her, she simply got stress and anxiety about just thinking... about pooping in a potty or toilet. She then just would not let it out. Hence, it created pain and constipation and hardening of her poop. At that point, the child cannot poop, without pain. And then, you need to get medical treatments.
It took, MONTHS, for my daughter to overcome the "emotion based" elements, of pooping on a toilet.

Your son, is very young.
They don't have this part of pottying 'mastered' yet.
Just be patient.
Or it will get worse.

With my son... pooping in a potty simply SCARED the heck out of him. He thought it was HIM, that was coming out.
My son was already 3 at that point. We didn't force it or reward or anything about it. We just went by his cues.

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B.M.

answers from Sacramento on

Our now 7 year old son did the same thing..awesome when it came to peeing in the potty, but he wouldn't poop. Like your son, he would hold it all day then poop whenever we put on a Pull-Up. A lot of kids (especially boys) go through this. Our son finally had it under control and pooping by the time he was 4. Just sit back and relax and let him do it on his own time. Odds are, he won't be pooping in a diaper when he's off to high school :D

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B.R.

answers from Sacramento on

EVERYONE has gone through this, not only with L. boys but with L. girls! The answer is, don't worry about it. When he is ready, it will come. I know that most likely isn't the answer you are wanting, but it's true. I used a chart, training two daycare boys, that simply had the steps to using the bathroom listed. Everything from telling us they had to go to flushing the toilet, washing and drying hands, etc. was on that chart. Of course it also included going pee and going poo. The charts were laminated and they loved using a dry erase marker to put a check beside each item whenever they went to the bathroom. Every time we marked it, I went down the list with them and gave them positive feedback. When we came to the going poo item, it was mentioned that they hadn't needed to do that this time, but we'd mark that when they did need to do it. Nothing else was said about that item. The less negative reaction you give him regarding going poo, and the less pressure you put on him to perform, the more likely he is to get the idea sooner.

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V.K.

answers from San Francisco on

I showed my daughter that, that is what mommies/daddies do and she followed suit!

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L.J.

answers from Louisville on

He isn't ready yet. Dont push him. He will get there when his brain tells him to.

It is nice that he pees in the potty so early. Be happy for that.

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D.K.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I have read that it helps to have him sit on the potty with his diaper on until he poops until he is comfortable pooping there. Then try taking it off. We also spent some unreasonable amount of time reading 'Everyone Poops' by Tari Gomi while DS sat on the toilet.

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S.E.

answers from Salinas on

My son did the same thing. As far as I was concerned he was potty trained (he started preschool age 2y9m) and never had an accident. If we went to someone's house over night (my sister lives out of state) I would put a pull-up on him and he would go in the bathroom (not toilet) and let me know when he was done. It was so weird (but normal). By the time my L. girl was about 1 and he was close to 4 years, I stopped buying pull ups (he could stay dry overnight). He went so far as to get a size 4 diaper to go poop in (not sure why he didn't want to use the toilet and could hold it until he got home if we were out or if he was in school. Finally he started swim class and had no other option but to use the toilet at the teacher's house (his stomach was in knots because he was so nervous to swim). Now he poops and wipes himself and it has been over a year (the whole thing was a faded memory until I read your post). Now my daughter is almost 2 and has pull-ups and my son does not think of ever using them. My son was a lot older than your son by the time his swimming class started. I wish he mastered it sooner, but since he told me he had to go and would stay in the bathroom with a pull-up I was not as bothered by it as moms who have to deal with children who poop in their clothes (some parents were told their child is not ready for Kindergarten because of this).

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