B.L.
Our son is somewhere on the spectrum. His diagnosis is PDD as he doesn't have all the symptoms of autism, but enough that we look to those therapies for help. He also is challenged with pooping in the potty. We have come to discover that it's a proprioceptive issue -- he's truly out of touch with his body. And when we help him focus on it, he gets very upset. We recently did auditory integration therapy (AIT) for him, and it has helped this proprioceptive issue tremendously. He makes comments like "mommy, I can feel my heart beating" or he'll say "my tummy feels sick because I'm upset". Before he never commented on his body. He went from getting to the potty about 30% of the time, to now getting there about 85% of the time, which is a huge improvement. They don't know why the AIT helps this, but it is consistent with many children. The woman who brought it to American has a daughter who was diagnosed autistic, and she benefited tremendously from AIT.
Hope you find something that helps. I know it requires lots of patience, but I agree that these kids teach us so much!
Take care,
B.