Please Help Me Get My Head on Straight!

Maybe she's just exhausted and doesn't have much help-and it was all she could do to do a generic blast to everyone-sometimes , it is easier to answer a call than initiate one.

My sister-in-law had my niece and we didn't know anything about it for DAYS. There was MAJOR issues and they almost lost both mom and baby. It's such an upsetting story I could only listen to her tell it once. I would have been crushed if either one of them died. Sometimes things aren't what they appear to be. Something may have happened and they needed more time.

Chances are it was hubby sending out the news. My best friends husband didn't call to tell me she was in the hospital with pneumonia, I only knew something was up when she didn't show up to my birthday party. I knew she had been sick but she took a turn for the worse later. I wasn't upset with him though, my best friend has a heart condition and he was worried sick. Give her a break, she is probably surrounding by people and exhausted. Go ahead and give her a call and congratulate her, then let it go.

When I had my first baby I didn't want to talk to anyone once I got home. Co-workers called me and I about burst into tears every single time. It was just entirely too much for me to handle.

Please think about her state of mind before getting your feelings hurt. Chances are it has nothing to do with you whatsoever. Maybe she e-mailed you because that was the only way she could get the word out without having a terrifying flood of emotions.

Look back (unemotionally) and think about what your friends contact level has been with you in the past? Has it usually been you initiating the contact with your friend responding instead of being the one to start the conversation?
Is this your friends first child? If so, she is in such a state of excitement and joy that it could be that she just honestly let time get away from her!!
I am not diminishing your right to your feelings...just trying to help you see that there could be 2 sides to this situation.
You can choose to forget about the perceived slight and go on with your friendship or you can choose to focus on this and make yourself miserable and damage your friendship. Sometimes, we just have to forget about it when others don't live up to our expectations and go on.
I am sorry that this happened....I understand what it is like to have a good friend not respond to us in the way we feel like they should.
My suggestion would be to send a baby gift and a card with good wishes for your friend and her new little one.

Hi S., I don't want to 'beat you up'....

But after reading your posts about your mom's mental issues.....

Well, I'd like to say I'm very GLAD you are trying to tell yourself 'it's not about me, it's not about me'.

I guess you are already mindful of the Apple Not Falling Far From The Tree syndrome.

Back to the question, I hope you answered the email saying how pleased you are about the new baby, wish her all the best, offer your help and support, please let you know how it's going, and you CAN'T WAIT to see her and the new baby! And I think that's all you can do......

Otherwise you can be happy for HER (not sad for YOU) that's she's finally experiencing what YOU did!

:)

Hi S., your former roommate may have been just overwhelmed with all the new momma duties and responsibilities to stop and contact you directly. Or perhaps there were complications that caused her or the baby to stay in the hospital for a few more days. Please don't be sad - give your kiddos an extra hug today and think positively that you all might be able to get together down the road. good luck!

Maybe she had some complications or maybe the baby isnt 100% healthy.
Get her a gift and call her and ask if you can come see the baby. Make a meal for her and bring it over.
After my third I didnt' want anyone around me. I had some PPD and it was a hard birth. But after my 2nd and 4th I was on the phone and sending out all the cards. I had severe complications with my first so my mother did all the announcing then.
I'm sure she didn't mean to slight you.

I had a friend who I thought was a really good friend move across town and not tell me. That really bites!
Your friend had a baby - and she let you know about it --- at least she didn't move and not tell you.
Our band director's wife had a baby over the summer. He didn't tell anyone right away because there were complications for his wife and the baby. He was too worried and too stressed out. When he did tell us, he said, "Her name is Abigail and everything is fine now." He didn't get into it, but we learned the details from his wife much later. It was scary stuff!
LBC

Aaww! That hurts!
Just get a gift and sweet card and don't forget chocolate for yourself.
Send it off like you would have done anyway...it's the right thing.
I understand, similar thing happening with my best friend right now.

I was exhausted and overwhelmed after birth. I could not handle company and am surprised I didn't lock the door at the hospital. I could not relax at all.
If she is normally a good friend, I am sure she still will be.
And it does hurt when someone shuts you out of the big day.

Exactly what Christine J. said... my best friend had her twin girls and I didn't hear about it for over a week. Come to find out she nearly died and there were simply too many things going to contact everyone. I heard the "whole story" about a month later b/c she was on so much medication that she didn't know who had been told and who hadn't.

It's not about you- and you probably don't know the whole story. If she lives locally, go visit and see how she is. Otherwise, pick up the phone and congratulate her!

maybe she just thought it was the best way to handle, or too tired, or something was wrong or maybe she is mom of more then 2 and thinks people wouldn't be as exited? Don't know.
But this will be buried and you may even laugh about it later.
She is lucky to have a friend that cares so much about her and her kids.
Send her another e-mail to se when you can come over to met the baby and bring some dish, cooking is the last thing I wanted to think after having a baby.

;

It would be nice if everyone were kind and considerate and did things the way we might want them done all the time. Sigh...just not reality. I've learned to expect nothing from anyone. That way, I am never disappointed and when someone does do something nice, I am surprised and happy. No, of course you can't help how you feel. Sorry for your disappointment.

Some people just can't handle the new beginning of a baby that well. I have 3 close friends from high school. When one of my friends had their first we all visited and later on she admitted that she didn't enjoy any visitation after having her first child, that she would prefer for her second if people came to the house instead after some time of getting settled. While we knew she had her second, we did not visit right away because of her wishes. I think some people can just get overwhelmed by it. My other two friends and myself welcomed the visits. Some people are just cut different ways.

Call your friend, see when would be the best time to visit and go there. Let everything go, bringing home a baby is tough and even tougher for others.

Hi S.! I just had to let you know that I feel sort of in your same situation. My very best friend from high school (we still see each other at least 3x a year since we live an hour apart) just sent me a VERY generic "Hey, just thought I'd let you know I'm pregnant" email. The whole thing was very strange. I sort of felt that something that exciting warranted a phone call! Then I felt bad that I was being selfish. Reading your post made me feel better (and I'm going to ready your responses when I have a chance) I emailed her back saying congratulations, but I think all I need to do is call her. She already had 2 little ones at home and apparently has been sick this pregnancy. So I KNOW it's not all about me!!!! In fact, none of it is. But it still made me feel hurt :)