Please Help!! - Magna,UT

He is depressed but you know that. Is he at least doing the Mr. Mom thing around the house? That would help if he at least took over the kids and house work. That is the tuffest job I ever did and loved it. Have him take care of the family. He will not have a choice. He has to get up and get the kids to school. Make sure the homework is done. Go on field trips. Bake cookies for a class project. Make dinner grocery shop. Clean the house. Do the laundry. Go to back to school night. And all that stuff. He won't have time to think of his failed business and will give him a new purpose that he has had all along but maybe not seeing.
Just some toughts.
C. B

It seems like you have a lot that going on and I pray for you that everything work itself out. I was in the same situation a year ago when my company layed off then I was given an opportunuty to work from home and be with my kids. There is hope and I think that I can help. Call me at ###-###-#### and i can talk to you about what I do and see if it can help your situation

I have a couple of suggestions. First one, don't talk down to him because he of course feels like a failure. Praise him for being a great Dad, and be cheery around him. The more he sees you upset because you are carrying the load, the more sad he will be and it will be harder to get him out of it. So, in the morning, open the blinds in the bedroom to let the light in, pick out a something great for him to wear and say, "come on lazy bones, out of bed, today's a new day." Tell him that you are so proud to be his wife, and that you know he can get out there today and find a job because he is your man, and you love it when he takes care of you and the kids. Remember, don't nag, just be as cheery as you can. You may feel silly doing this, but it's worth a shot. If that fails, my second piece of advice is...call Dr. Laura at 1-800-drlaura. She is a licensed therapist that will give you free advice on the spot on how to get your guy to feel confident again. If you don't already know, she used to be a family and marriage therapist, but for the last 25+ years has done a radio show to help people. Good luck, and try to get some rest. I don't know how you are doing it.

You can do all the great stuff recommended in the previous four posts, too, but it sounds like your husband in a pretty deep depression if he's not getting out of bed. Having him talk to dr for either therapist recommendations or medication is going to be important immediately, because you could head that direction yourself with the hours you're working, kids, and supporting your husband who you feel helpless to help. My prayers are with you and your family. Good luck, A..

H.

A.,

I think we have talked before- because your name is ringing a bell. I can completely understand how hard it is to start a business from scratch- the pressure alone is alot for anyone to handle. He needs to understand that he didn't fail - failure is when we give up completely.

I actually work from home part time and my husband has recently decided to start working with me too. He does have a full time job where he puts in 50-60 hrs a week but he is wanting to replace that income so he can work from home with me full time. We found a way to do that and we would love to share it with both you and your husband. It's cost nothing to listen to the information and we are not going to pressure you at all into anything.

I strongly believe that nothing is impossible in life to achieve - but sometimes we can feel like the world around us is pulling us down and we find it hard to rise above it. We have been there and I can tell you that Hope is just around the corner..

If you would like to set a time to talk with us and learn about what kind of work we do from home just give me a call @ ###-###-####

I look forward to hearing from you.

C.

Many employers who see that prospectives have had a 'failed' business view this as positive!! Remind him that he had the guts to start his own small business, something that is very hard to do! Most new small businesses 'fail'. I use the word fail in quotes because he needs to understand that he is not a failure; he now has a life experience. He was daring enough to try something, whether it worked or not, and he now has to change his perspective, look back on the business, and see what he learned. I was laid off (elementary education due to staffing changes based on school enrollment- no fault of my own) and it really sent me into a downward spiral. I didn't think it would make me feel so bad about myself! It took some bad choices and some talks with a counselor to get back my self confidence.

I know you are so tired and I so admire your hard work, love, and concern for your husband. Can you talk to your FIL? Would it help if he learned how his son and you are really feeling? Can you insist that your husband talk to someone he is comfortable with (pastor, therapist/counselor, career counselor)? He is not alone in this economy; many of us are struggling. Share some of the advice you get with him; sometimes just knowing you are not alone is the best way to start the journey out of depression. Good luck!

Honestly, he might need to be put on medication to help him come out of the depression. It might not have to be forever, maybe just a couple of months but it might really do your whole family some good. Maybe he could see a therapist in addition to medication or instead of. I am sure he feels really trapped as well and can't seem to get out. I am sorry and hope that you will be able to figure something out. Good Luck!