Paying Family for Babysitting?

Maybe invite them over for dinner or something one night so they know you appreciate them as family and not just a sitter.

The only ones we pay are the teen age cousins who babysit.

Grandma and aunts don't expect anything, but we trade favors

I wouldn't offer to pay them, but I might say something like, "I really appreciate all of the babysitting you've been doing. Is there anything that I can do for you in return?"

If a teen family member babysits, pay them especially if it's on a weekend. They'll love having the extra cash for the mall or a date night.

When it comes to family I always went with do they need the money. Like younger cousins that babysat, obviously they have no other way to earn money so I paid them.

The way I see it is family should help family and not expect payment, unless it's on a regular basis. I also believe you should not take advantage of your family, which you clearly are NOT doing.

I think it would be a very nice gesture if you got them some type of gift. Even a picture of your child with a thank you note would be a nice way to show your appreciation.

oh my goodness you just got me on the day when my nephew had a new baby!!! I would love to babysit free, free, free. What a wonderful opportunity to get to know my little great nephew. Hope others feel the same way. Unless they turn you down next time, they may really love it!

No I wouldn't pay them - my parents or my in laws will watch the kids here and there and "payment" is things like photos of the kids or making a meal for them etc. My MIL watches my SIL's 2 kids 4 days a week from 9 am to 6 pm while she works, that's another story. SIL is paying her for that (for the first two years MIL did it for free!).

Compensation for child care family or not, is something that should be established beforehand....UNLESS, your relatives offered to take care of your child. In that case after a few times a gift card or dinner invitation would be wonderful.

Write a heartfelt handwritten thank you card.
It goes a long way, in making the other person feel appreciated.
-Even if relatives don't expect anything in return for their babysitting, just the fact that you "thank" them, SHOWS that you recognize their help and appreciate their time in doing so.

At least you are trying to be thoughtful in a reciprocal manner, of your relatives.
But it seems, you are not over-using their niceness, to babysit your child.
So you are not taking it for granted.
But you still want them to know, you appreciate their help.
So write a thank you card... not just a "hey thanks for your help" generic thing. But a nice thoughtful thank you card.
For example:
"Dear Aunty, (or to your cousins etc.)
You have been so gracious in helping us with babysitting Junior. We don't have much resources, and I just want you to know, that having family care for our baby, means a lot to us. We deeply appreciate your kindness in giving your time to our son. It means a lot to us, and brings a smile to our hearts.
Love & Hugs,
J. and John (or whatever your Husband's name is).
And you BOTH sign the card.

2) As for the Grandparents not being able to see your son or you/Hubby much because of the distance.... (if they have a computer), then you ALL can do "Skype." It is free.
www.skype.com
And then you all can "see" each other.

I have an Aunty that sometimes takes my kids out, so that I can have a break. And I ALWAYS, on that same day, send her a heartfelt thank you e-mail.... to express my gratitude. Otherwise, the person may think you just take things for granted.

Paying grandparents or aunts for basically once a month sitting? Heavens, no. I think I'd be insulted if my kids wanted to pay me for that.

Dawn

My cousin tries to pay me for the once in a while babysitting, and I sneak the money back in her purse. The same for a friend of mine who lets me watch her kids once in a while. Except she caught on to the purse thing so I started putting it in her oldest girl's piggy bank.

all families are different. We don't pay grandparents, but take them out to a nice dinner or buy them something from time to time. We have one auntie who loves to watch our kids. We don't pay her either, but buy her gifts. There are also a few nieces who watch kids and we pay them the going rate. It depends on the family, and you know yours better than we do. I will say this: if they offered to watch him, they likely didn't expect to be payed. But a thank you note and token of your appreciation may keep them offering.

we have never paid family to babysit, but sometimes we will pick a gift card from where we had dinner and give it to them. Once I brought my SIL a cupcake when she watched the kids for me when my husband was in another state training for his new job. I was stressed and just needed some "me" time and so she watched them for me. She loves cupcakes and so I got her her favorite kind.
I never feel like I have to do something and they never expect it, but I think something small like that would be nice and make them feel appreciated.

I would never let anyone watch my kids without offering to pay unless they made it clear up front that no pay would be accepted. The only exceptions would be immediate family, mom, dad, sister, brother.

They probably aren't expecting anything, but a gift card for a favorite restaurant is a wonderful idea. They will feel appreciated. It's a good idea!

Wow. 6 times in 8 months? I know it's split up between them, but that seems like a pretty frequent "need" on your part. If this pattern is going to continue, I would strongly suggest that you make a point of returning the favor by inviting them to lunch/dinner/movie, etc.

Bottom line is that family typically will not accept cash. If I ever offered to pay my SIL for watching my children, she would be offended. Then again, she we rarely ask her to do so. When we do, she sees it as a chance to spend time with her niece and nephew. Same goes for us spending time with her children- she rarely asks, but when we have her family with us... it's always "our treat".

When our son was an infant and I was in a wedding, she had him for a weekend. When we got back, our son gave them a gift card to a restaurant that they love but wouldn't normally treat themselves to. It was appreciated, but not offensive.

You know your family best. Some might take offense to the offer of money, some might prefer it to a gift card, a thank you note, or a dinner at yours. A gift of services might be appreciated, or it might feel too intrusive.

My dad used to go to my mother's SIL's parents house and string their outdoor christmas lights every year. He was happy to climb up a ladder, they were happy to have it done. Despite the degrees of separation in terms of their legal relationship there was a mutual love, respect and exchange of favors and services. Most importantly, perhaps, dad wasn't stepping on anyone's toes in taking on this job, no one who was closer was willing/ able to do it, and the parents hadn't paid to have it outsourced.

Good luck to you and yours,
F. B.

I would say that cash is always a better payment that a gift card at a place I may or may not like to go to. Paying them and them deciding where to spend the money is better in my book.

If they won't take cash then the gift card is a nice gesture.

I kinda don't think you need to pay family to sit. If there are extenuating circumstances like someone is really in need of money or a younger pre-teen/teen is trying to get a job to learn some skills, then maybe, but overall I would say no money to family.

I like the idea of inviting them over to dinner sometimes. THat would nice and it would send the message they hey, we just like seeing you sometimes too and don't always call for babysitting! I try to do that with my husband's sister (although now that I think about it, it's been a while!! Eeek!) b/c she sits for us a lot!

It does not sound like you are taking advantage of these ladies at all. You haven't even used them 1x/month, so honestly, I wouldn't worry about a gift card or a present. Maybe just sit and visit with them next time or bring over a loaf of banana bread or a plate of cookies.

A gift card is a wonderful idea.