OY! I have 4 milestone events this year. I'm combining them into one party but I'm having some anxiety about it. I love to entertain. I get the best foods that are kid friendly, adult tasty, and really try to have something for everyone. I plan the event for indoor and outdoor activities and entertainment so I'm prepared for inclement weather. I give out plenty of time for invites to be delivered and answered. I'm feeling anxious because people generally don't answer and I plan on more people than actually come. Add to that the past history of my party giving, and you'll understand my anxiety. At my last party, a graduation party for my son, I sent out 150 invites. No one RSVP'd so I guessed 1/3 would show and ordered food for 50 people. Thirteen people showed up. Good thing I have a freezer.
I'm just not sure what to do. I want my husband's 60th to be a wonderful affair with lots of well wishers. He's also worked 30 years at his job. I have a milestone birthday and anniversary for work, too. I don't want to put so much effort into something to celebrate these great occasions and have another flop.
Any suggestions?
I spoke with my husband and asked what he would like to do since many don't respond or come to our parties. I told him it's very stressful to plan something and not know how many to plan for. He doesn't like to leave anyone out or not invite someone who may be hurt by that and I pointed out the lack of participation of those people in the last half dozen parties we've tried to have. He suggested we scrap the party and go on a cruise where we can celebrate us. If this is his wish - who am I to disagree!!! LOL Bon Voyage Party woes - Hello Carribean!! Thanks for all your input and advice. I really appreciate all your responses!
If people don't have the social grace to rsvp...call them and ASK how many, if any, are coming. I'm sorry, but that's just rude. If it embarrasses them--so be it!
in today's world, rsvps just don't exist. It is sooo disheartening!
For my upcoming 50th bd next year, I've already told my family....absolutely NO party. I want to travel - I want it to be all about me! Is that selfish....yes, & I don't care....it's my bd & I say NO party!
If it were me I would call and ask if they are coming. I have had people call before a wedding to make sure to get a head count for the food. I don't see why you shouldn't or couldn't call them.
Perhaps trying sending an evite instead of standard invitations? I think that it's easier for people to click yes or no than it is for them to make a phone call (sad but true). The evite website will send a reminder email to the people who haven't responded when it's getting closer to the date. Good luck!
Two thoughts... either include a response card (people are slightly more likely to "check" and box and then mail it than make a phone call) or send out a "reminder" email a few days before you need to have a final head count and call if needed.
When we got married, the caterer gave us his "rule of thumb", which was to plan for about 80% of people invited b/c traditionally 20% can't make it.
Why did you anticipate only 1/3 of your guests would attend? Just a thought... maybe you need to be a little more selective in who you invite. If you were inviting really "peripheral" people, then scale this one way back! You invited 150 and 13 showed-up- many times "less" really is "more"!
Wow, NO RSVPs? That would tick me off. If I think it's a real invite, and not a courtesy invite because everyone gets one (day care bday party invites) I always respond. I try to respond to the bday ones too, even so. Since your goal is to get responses, I say use the online invitations, even if you think they're tacky and less formal. They are, but you are more likely to get responses. Assume any lack of response is a negative, and send out reminders. If you see that it's getting very close and there are very few responses, consider having it at a restaurant so that his feelings aren't so hurt if only a few people show up and you can still all have a good time.
I agree about calling those who do not RSVP. You could also scale down and instead of getting so much food, have a potluck. From now on plan to provide beverages and maybe one or two dishes and expect guests to bring something.
I don't understand this trend of not rsvp'ing for parties, but what I have found (and apparently what you have found too) is that if people don't respond, they are not coming! I would keep the guest list smaller, and perhaps it would be easier if you used an online service like E-vite, so people would get their invite via email and just have to click the mouse a couple of times to respond yes or no.
I learned not to invite "just anybody" because they are less likely to show up even if they do say they will. Also, it's more fun with people that care about you guys.
Kinda keep an ear out when planning a party to make sure something big isn't in town that would conflict with a lot of people. Give plenty of time. Invite the people that matter. Then double check.
This evite thing---it's cheaper than "real" invitations. I was kinda against it at first because I thought it'd be too easy to just say "yeah I'll come" on it and them forget it, but it DOES send reminders, which is cool. That's the way to go these days, unless you're inviting for something very formal like a wedding.
I'm getting to this late, so I see you have already planned to scrap the party and to on a cruise. KUDOS to you - that's a wonderful idea. Have a wonderful time!!!
If you can get e-mail addresses, e-vites work really well for RSVPs. For some reason people don't call to RSVP anymore. Good luck, and congratulations on all these milestones!
I see you already posted your "So What Happened"... but i just want to say great choice!! That was actually going to be my exact suggestion - its what my husband wanted to do for his birthday a few years back... not that i don't love our family and friends and always have a great time at parties, but our weekend away was a million times better than any party would have been! Enjoy :)
